Prelude: Kaleidoscopic Menrva in 180 minutes.

Listen carefully and you will hear various voices and sounds. Everyone in this commotion misses hearing important things.

They were missing out on so much. Just like myself. Unable to bear witness to the theatrics of humanity.

On this long night, I am silent without being able to see the stars, the moon is hidden in the clouds amidst my accelerated pace and heartbeat. Rushing through the wintry wonderland ignoring the bruises caused by dead branches. The same ones that must be burning at that place. The same one where that puff of smoke protrudes from, enveloping the sky.

Now my heart is completely empty. If only time would fly past me… This world without you is more boring than I imagined.

Tonight I hold my breath without looking at the light, and amidst the darkness, I open my eyes. The flowerbed we took care of, you and I. Suddenly I came to hate my foolish self.

“This universe without you can disappear, for all I care.”

People’s feelings are like a kaleidoscope, now that I think about it. Just like the multicolored flowers, they show a myriad of emotions and struggles each painted differently creating a unique piece of art. Yes, you always showed different sides to me until that changed. This was not what I wished for, nor the outcome.

Those thirty silver coins lock me in place. Blood money that I threw between my bare feet.

Holding my breath, I reach for the rope. My bowels will burst during this final act of selfishness. What I hope, at least, is to perish while your soul still vivid burns outshining all the heavenly bodies in the sky.

The olive tree accepted my touch, silently guiding my every movement. That burning sensation of a parched throat, that feeling of your soul vanishing. While my feet swayed just like that last dance we had a few nights ago, they followed the rhythm of your ashes into the night, flying alongside you.

How long has it been since I’ve been like this? Seconds? Hours? How long does it take for a body to become one with the soil?

It was a simple prayer from the start, after all. Admiration gradually disappears now as the curtain rises up. I forced down my heart’s desires that I wanted to follow so I wouldn’t spit them out and they built up inside my chest, like dregs, and clouded me in the end.

You always so highly revered, honored, and respected.

I was in the right all along. I know it. And yet… and yet…

“It hurts. Save me.”

Whispering the same, always the same, convenient wish, I became one with the flowers in the night.

I wonder how many times I’ll be made to remember it again.