Strangled.

Dinner changed.

The scorched rice wasn't the same sort of sweet anymore. It wasn't bad. It was just different.

"Did you change the recipe?" I asked. My voice might have been a little excited. Or rather ever so slightly aggressive.

The taste of home had changed.

"You noticed? I started adding a little cinnamon to the mix. I learnt from Aki-san." Mom tried to act naturally while explaining with a smile but I could feel her awkwardness around me. "Is it good?" She asked with upturned eyes.

"Yeah."

I never thought it was bad. But I liked the imperfections and blandness of her usual scorched rice.

Was it wrong to expect someone to remain the same even after 4 years? Probably. But considering the one who changed was someone who already passed her renaissance years, I did subconsciously expect her to remain who she was.

It did sting a little. The person I was most familiar with was that little bit different.

Akito-san on the other side of the table was eating the scorched rice with a genuine smile on his face. The change in the recipe was to his satisfaction.

Mom's hand was calmly placed over his. Their empty ring fingers were placed on top of each other. The little indents of the wedding ring were still engraved.

They tried to hide the progress of their relationship with me.

Mom and Akito-san married two years ago. They didn't hold a ceremony. In fact, they didn't even call me. Sure it might have been because of how obvious I was with my distaste for their relationship or because of how I ran away.

My distaste didn't stem from my disliking towards Akito-san. That man was agreeable as can be. He never treated me poorly either. It was just that I didn't want my mother to be in a relationship that would harm her any further.

But looking at them so happy even after 5 whole years just put their healthy relationship into perspective.

Not telling your son about your remarriage was totally on Mom. I felt left out. But that's what a deserter deserved.

At my dinner table, I was the one who felt like a guest.

The scorched rice really didn't taste the same. With every bite, it got worse.

The only thing that helped me down the obnoxious taste of cinnamon was the cheap wine on the side.

This wasn't what I expected a hearty drinking session to be like.

After dinner, I headed back up to my room and picked up my laptop.

It was 9 and about the time my office hours began. I opened all the apps I had to and started working with my glasses on.

The lights were off. The only source was the light that entered from outside. This ambience was the one I was used to. This ambience was the one that got me through this night shift.

I didn't hate the job. Encountering problems, solving them was fun. When it wasn't frustrating.

But more often than not I felt unhealthy, stuck, and exhausted. Waking up until early morning was something I couldn't get used to.

Before I knew it the time clock on the bottom of the screen read 5 and my work was over. I could hear the birds chirping and feel my eyes burning.

I wasn't sleepy yet, but I was tired.

Closing everything up, I laid down on my bed. It was smaller than I remember and cleaner than I thought it would be. Given that I didn't tell anyone about my arrival.

I just stared at the ceiling emptily. I would fall asleep eventually like I always do.

"Ah!" I almost forgot. The date that I asked for.

How could I actually forget after going through that goliath of a task?

I pulled the phone from behind the bed and opened Rine. It took me quite a while to scroll all the way down to Saeko.

'Last read two years ago.' The little UI text in the middle of the screen read.

That was when she snitched about Mom's wedding. I mean someone had to tell me right?

'Hey.' I texted. There was no way she would be awake right now.

'About the date, how does the...'

Wait, what was there to do in town? There was no aquarium, or beach, or any big mall. The only place I remembered being decent-

'How does the little cafe next to the lake sound?' I typed in. 'This Sunday before lunch. I'll pick you up.' It was weird booking an appointment with her. Usually, I would show up and just leave.

There was no response. Obviously.

I put the phone back where it was and closed my eyes. Sleep came eventually.

Early morning turned to early noon.

When I woke up it was around half-past eleven. The first thing I did was open my phone to check the message.

'Sure, I'm fine with that.' Her response was rather tense. 'I live in XX street now.' Probably her new house she moved in with her boy- ex-boyfriend.

'Then I'm looking forward to seeing you then.' I texted.

And then we waited some more.

I spent days with my family and spent nights working. The days were filled with anything but the feeling of inclusiveness and the nights were spent managing the system.

The work was mundane. And in my family, I was the intruder. Life wasn't much better here.

Four days later, Sunday came.

"Mom, I'm taking your car!" I shouted while heading out.

"The keys are in the rack. Have a good time!" She shouted back.

I picked up the keys and headed into the garage. There was a narrow sedan parked inside.

It had been a while since I drove. You could go from A to B in the city by train. I was concerned about having a pregnant lady on board while driving but it came back to me naturally.

I confidently drove to Saeko's corner of the town. And was burdened with immediate prejudice. The neighbourhood was quite shabby. It wasn't exactly a poor neighbourhood... But it was below the usual standard and her house next to mine.

Made me question why she didn't just live with her parents.

I parked right next to her door and she was standing outside.

Stretching out to the side, I opened the door for her.

"Yo." She said like old times.

"Hello." I replied.

Pleasantries completed, she scooted down on the passenger seat and strapped herself in.

"Shall we go?" I asked as she nodded back.

The car wasn't automatic but this was the car I grew up in. Using it was like drinking the same wine your parents did and praised. You grew into it.

"Ichi got pretty good at driving, huh?" She went back into the small talk mode.

"I mean, I did drive my girlfr- my ex throughout the town."

"Look at you all grown up.~"

I glanced over at her belly.

"Not as grown up as you."

"You little!" She slapped my arm again.

Through bantering and taunting. We closed a lot of the gap between us. But there was still a wall we had built because of our experiences so far.

We made it to the lake.