*Conflict~

I still can’t really believe it. That J is going to be leaving so soon. I’ve only known him for, well, however long I’ve known him, and it already feels like it’ll be impossible to have to part. I can only imagine how this news impacted Coal and Helvetica. Meanwhile, it doesn’t mean a thing to Embi. She’s probably glad. It’s one less person I’ll be hanging out with.

“Bowey, are you thinking about me?” Embi asks. It annoys me that she’s right.

“Yeah. You, and Coal, and Helvetica, and J,” I reply.

“Unnecessary thoughts, Bowey, unnecessary thoughts. I’m thinking about you and you alone. You shouldn’t waste any of your brainpower on those losers.” She always expresses herself completely honestly. Like Lou, but without any filter.

“Call me a loser again and we’ll both be in trouble,” says Coal.

“You’re a loser.”

“And you’re a piece of crap!” he yells back.

“And you’re just a little boy,” says Helvetica. “Oh, Coal, how many times will I need to tell you to watch your language?”

“Shut up!”

I actually feel bad for him. They’re basically double-teaming him. Poor Coal.

“Hey, Bowey. Can we kiss yet?” And just like that, her attention is back on me.

“Maybe later.” If I had a magazine for every time I’ve had to use that response, I’d never run out of ammo.

Like he said he would, J isn’t here. He’s had to start going to preparation courses for when he leaves during most Recesses. The rest of us still gather, but without him, we just sit around having these conversations that go nowhere.

“Guys,” I start, “Are we going to keep doing the investigations? I know J is going to be leaving, but I don’t think he’d want us to just stop. Coal, you’re the detective, so-”

“I said shut up!” Coal yells.

It becomes completely silent. We’re sitting in this messed-up circle without a thing to say to each other. Without J, I’m not even sure if we’ll stick together. All I’ll have left is Embi, and that’s honestly worse than being alone.

I can’t let that happen.

“I’m sorry, Coal.”

I wish I could come up with more to say.

“... I’m sorry, too.” After saying that, Coal stands up, then looks down at Embi. “We’ll get out of here. Even if we have to leave those two behind.”

“I’m not going anywhere without Bowey,” she replies.

“Bowey doesn’t give a damn about you. I’d even go so far as to say he hates you. It’s obvious just looking at him when he’s next to you. You, look at him. Do it.”

Embi, silenced for the first time, looks over at me. Her eyes always looked sincere, but there’s also something else this time.

…

Tears. Her eyes are watering up. She tilts her head toward the ground and wipes her eyes with her arm.

“He just doesn’t love me yet. People’s feelings can change,” she says.

“The sooner you snap out of your princess fairy-tale, the sooner we can figure out how we’re gonna do it.”

“It’s not a fairy-tale,” she replies, sniffling.

“Tch.” Coal starts walking away even though there’s nowhere else to go. He seems to be making a habit out of that.

I’ll leave him alone this time. I don’t even think I’d have anything to say if I did go after him. Thank you? No, I probably shouldn’t.

For some reason, Embi stands up too. She also walks away, but in the opposite direction of Coal. Our sorry excuse for a circle has been reduced to just two people sitting next to each other. Me and Helvetica.

“Bowey,” she says.

“What is it?”

“I’m gonna have to tell you something.”

“Umm, okay,” I reply.

“You can’t tell anybody I told you though, alright? This actually has to stay between you and me.”

“Oh, okay. I won’t tell anybody.”

I wonder what it could be. She looks so serious. And why now? This is all so sudden.

“You keep mentioning that thing about how Coal’s a detective,” she says. “Well, that’s a lie. A lie he told when he met J. A lie he told when he met me. His real field…well, he’s a janitor.”

Oh… oh.

“So…” I start for her to finish.

“He hates it. More than anything. He feels like he was misjudged. That he really deserves much greater. So, maybe don’t mention the detective thing so much from now on. It’s like a reminder of his true path.”

With just that information, I feel like I understand Coal so much better now. It’s no wonder he’s so angry all the time. He’s been assigned to a field he doesn’t like. I know I wouldn’t be happy if all I had to look forward to was being a janitor.

“Does J know?” I ask.

“Nope,” she replies. “Only reason I know is because his tongue slipped once. He hasn’t let himself make that mistake since.”

That really doesn’t seem like a mistake he’d make.

“Why are you telling me this?” I ask.

“Coal’s already trying to split us up. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but the only thing that kept this group together was J. Without him, Coal and I are always butting heads. It must be the only thing we agree on that we can’t hang around each other without J as a mediator.

“So, why I’m telling you… Well, partially because maybe you could be that mediator. That’s doubtful, so the main reason is because you and I do agree. Coal clearly saw something in your girlfriend, so he wants her on his side. I guess it’s that I want you on mine.”

P-picking sides? What is she talking about?

“Bowey,” she starts, “This is something that was bound to happen. Practically an inevitability. I want you to decide right now. Do you want to try and break out with Coal, or are you going to stay here and go through the system properly with me. It’s entirely up to you.”

Break out or go through the system… When worded that way, neither option sounds very appealing. However, I know I don’t want to break out. I can’t leave. I decided that when Coal first brought it up back then. My decision hasn’t changed now. If Lou does, by some miracle, come back, I have to be here. I have to.

I suppose that means I’ve made up my mind.

“I want to stay,” I say.

“Glad to hear that.” Helvetica smiles. “It’s just you and me from now on. No Coal, no Embi, and not even J.”

Not even J… Wait.

“No Embi? While I do agree that would be ideal, I feel like she’s completely out of our control. She’ll never leave me alone.”

“She won’t be a problem.”

I don’t know how she could be so sure of something so unimaginable, but I’m going to take her word for it.

At this point, what choice do I have?