WittyAcorn - "The Mildpowered Virgins of Novylion High"

Ightie time roast this shitpost legend!!! the one who made the my self roast possible!!

Parody Summary:

Down bad simps at Novylion High use their knock off quirks by cock blocking each other from becoming a swol chad which is getting spare coochie. Janjanshu Mamanmade (Why didn't yall ask your parents for some normal fuckin names) can fake his virginity, Hagesh Malumaru can hold off his meds causing him to speak to random ass aliens, plus also is bald for a reason because he failed to get waves and Umito Dishahara has a compass to stalk people. How will they stop their swol mega sigma ultra chad friend Jitsu Satanetra from getting some some of that sweet junior coochie?!

Read " The beta cucked virgins of Bootleg UA Academy" to find out!

chap 1

We start by reading a cringe diary because of course you have to make me suffer. Basically Umito is suffering from chunnibyo by thinking man can be a pirate just like in One Piece wants to traveling all over the Great Ocean but yet he can only afford a 3rd rate canoe that he stole at local's granny flee market like the man couldn't even had the heart to pay 10 bucks for it, your existence is sad asf smh. (Ight now back to the plot lol)

I guess he has to wait a year before he can bring a boat okay?

DUDE YOU ARE FUCKING BORING GIVE ME THE DAMN EXITING SHIT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, NO WONDER YOU ARE VIRGIN!!!!

Bish called his canoe Bicep, bro you have no single Bicep in your booty, you are legit pure spaguetti power. The moment this guy enters any kind of gym or sports will he whale in the ground crying like a little pussy because its too much effort smh. Normally I would tell you to do outside, but the different between this virgin and any other virgin is that he AT LEAST GOES OUTSIDE BRA FUKIN VOOOO MY DUDE, he is an exemple lmao. Mister Hagesh also known as the guy who's menopause hit too quickly because he is completely bald lol. the abilities are called guna *cough 3rd rate trash version of quirks *cough* man that he could see a bit of his future by talking to aliens but they did a little trolling and got his ass bullied, I mean I can't blame them for doing that, It's what you get for being off your meds lmao, you damn crackhead. BUT AT LEAST HE GOES TO THE GYM can't say that about other virgins, like deadass these betas are build different DAYUM RESPECC!!!

Some history shit going on....

WE DO NOT CARE!!!

SKIMMING INTENSIFIES!!!

Umito had a shounen captain moment because he has to learn how to contribute to society BY STANDING IN A DAMN LINE BECAUSE IF HE CAN'T DO HOW ELSE WILL HE BECOME A CAPTAIN, Bro what are you smoking you only needs sailing skills and a bit of management society can suck these nuts that is what they can do lol.

Alright slice of life convo about a transfer student.

Okay so this character Puna Maiwal is a badminton god but as a side effect he becomes 3rd rate gae lmao. I guess gunas are bootleg quirks lolololololololol.

Oh Siddis a new thing huh? They are basically Gunas on crack with a little of weed in combinating you not taking your meds, while you haven't masterbated for 2 months causing you to have destructed power that put virgins like Deku to shame lmao.

PUNA IS NOT GOING TO SAY BAD WORDS ANYMORE HOLY SHIT OUR LIVES WERE A LIE AFTER ALL HE IS BECOMING MORE BETA THEN HE ALREADY WAS!!!!

chap 2

Bro it went from trying to prevent Puni from having character develepment to weird I love you's throwing around, and Umito crying like a beta bitch because Hagesh mentioned some random thots name (Kishika) that we legit don't give a shit about.

Ight a LOT AND I MEAN A LOT OF FUCKING BORING LIFE OF SLICE SHT WE LEGIT GIVE NO FUCKS ABOUT!!!

ULTRA SKIM ACTIVATE!!!!!!

Sensei called Umito a goat, but for me he is a incel beta boi, oh well........

okay all this teacher crap is getting mid, like I legit don't care give me something interesting damn it!

HOLY SHIT A TRANSFER STUDENT CAME IN AND OH BOI.....

HE'S HAWTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! *insert squidward voice*

JeSUS Jajanshu is a fucking normie to the point its disgusting, he talkes like a 10 year old that has a fetish for cream pie flavored ice cream. Bro he straight up gave everyone a blowing kiss like 3rd rate trash idiol. He calls his dad, papa like bro that is so fuckin cringe every time he says that I am on the verge of hanging myself :puke:

And fukin Umito the boat weeb goes off on his weird ship fetishes, things we legit do not care. bout I think this story has many o those moments lol, maybe masturbating is a better pass time than to read this boring ass sht!!

A bunch of skimming later all you need to know is that Umito is in the virginus Alliance a group that cock block each other for I don't know fucking why, like legit stupid ass reasons, the only thing I can say to them is, get a life smh or suck a dick if yall don't want gf's, you know help a homie out!!!!

NEXT!!!!

Chap 3

*opens chapter*

Jajanshu saying papa....

END MY FUCKING SUFFERING PLEASE T-T HE IS SOOOOOO CRINGEEEEE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Dude dude Dude!!! I don't care about your papa complex bed time cringe when you were 7 stories, bro this kid was and still is weird ass mofo how this man can even have friends is beyond me.

basically he can fake illnesses okay. I swear I got no words for this chapter Jajanshu is the ultimate embodiment is cringe, like this dude needs a glow up. This very man's existence is making me suicdical I would rather read gae smut than have one more Papa come from his mouth he is the virgin of the vrigins, the absolute cucked beta garbage. Janjanshu rant over, also GET A FUCKING NORMAL NAME GOD DAMN IT YOU KNOW HOW ANNYOING WRITTING YOUR NAME ALL THE TIME!!!

Chap 6

Okay so we enter I guess a group chat convo with all the beta cuck losers, anyways Hagesh said that most of his classmates don't like Jajanshu like OF COURSE THEY DON'T HE IS LEGIT THE CONCEPT OF CRINGE ITSELF LIKE GOD THAT IS LOOKING FROM THE HEAVENS IS EVEN QUESTIONING HIS SANITY WONDERING WHY THE FUCK HE EVEN CREATED SUCH A GARBAGE LIFEFORM!!

AYOOOO AUTHOR IS GETTING SUS with the BL sht lmao, straight up telling CoCo that he can looks like a girl and that he doesn't plus he can deal with the peepee. YOU HAVE TOO BE SO DESPERATE ASF IF YOU WOULD TURN GAE JUST TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, HAGESH IS DOWN SIMP AND DEGENERATE!!!!! DAYUMMMM!!!!

lmao vibe check that part genuinely made me laugh, even being able to give a gender breakdown, man has humanity evolved. lmao some Hagesh roasting CoCo is savage pure respecc for not being cringe!

OKAY

Coco just said something which is pure facts: "Ur still bald, give up hope, embrace celibacy cuz you can't be an incel if its voluntary." This is one of the most chad moves a beta virgin can take, I mean you will become an Alpha Virgin and might be cucked from time to time like degenerates they are but at least they found some reason in their non important and easily forgettable lives you know. PREACH!!!!!!

Wait up I skipped chapter and some dude called Jitsu had friend Which... which... which.... IS A GIRL HOLY SHIT THAT YOU ARE STILL ABLE TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX OOOGAAA BOOOGAAA I TOUGHT IT WAS ONLY POSSIBLE IN ACIENT TIMES!!!!! TOP 10 ANIME PLOT TWIST OOHHH MYY GAWDDDDDDDD!!!!!

Bruh this chat is basically a which hunt because a Jitsu is trying to find the way of the sigma swoll ultra chad, pretty sad if you ask me I would have told each and every virgin in the chad to touch some grass, but they have the rare ability to actually to go outside so that roast is invalid T-T

Ight they gonna lifestream now!

Damn the council of virgins are holding the trial, my boi Ashukami praying to for them to keep masturbating instead of improving themselves to some of that coochie what a based friend, a true hero. Lmao the moment Tan mentioned she might the younger the virgins just died from the inside talking about some "Senpai Effect" meaning that hot fuckable material in the same class have less chance to get with the e-girl compared to avg ass, beta ass, virgin ass, degenerate ass fucking loser of a Senpai.

Pretty interesting if you ask me.

JAJANSHU PLEASE SHUT UP, STOP MENTIONING PAPA PLEASEEEE I ASK YOU T-T!!!!!

Bruh these people just destroyed my last remaining brain cell hear this:

Apparently its wrong its wrong to go after a 13 year old, even tho the person in question is 14 like bros what kind of coke are you all sniffing off the ground? But thank god Puna had some common sense and said it was understandable thank god. Also they are borderline going to stalk the girl to find out who she is, while the only think I can think is: Bruh get a life man, don't you something better to do yall are fucking sad asf lmao, get an underpaid job or something.

DAMN JAJANSHU IS A CRINGE LORD BUT DAYUM IS HE ROASTING EVERYONE BY SAYING THEY ARE JUST JELLY SINCE THEY CAN'T GET A GF AND COPE BY RUBBING THE 2 INCHER!! DAYUMMMM BOI DAYUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

lmao Hagesh suddenly loving the dude since he believes in his delusional alien crackhead shit.

Damn Rushil over here not falling for Hagesh's taunt since the motherfeckin is smaller than a feckin smurf ass bitch. AYOOOO kinky gangsta role play dayum I did not know they were into that kind of thing.

Anyways so the kouhai is called Aina Pare and is some self proclaimed Queen by degenerate simps asses.

anyways....

NEXT!!!!

Chap 9

Let me just begin with the title... Shipsexual.... so like you masturbate to ship pictures or get extra horny when you are on one? Or stick your dick in one? Eh anyways lets just see the rest of this.

DAYUM ITS AINA JUST TRAMPLING ON VIRGINS LIKE A COLD ICE PRINCESS SHEEESHH!!!! Bruh the dudes disappearing after a month after rejection tbh I never understood that either way can't you just be friends lmao but now I am getting too big brain I am supposed to roast. LMAO HEAR THIS!!

Aina uses the rejected boys and sent them to the other girls to fuck with them what a fucking chad with coochie between her legs. BRO I LEGIT WITH AINA ON A SPIRTUAL LEVEL ROMANCE IS MY FAVORATE GENRE TOO I CAN'T HELP BUT TO LIKE THIS CHARACTER, THE FIRST CHARACTER THAT AIN'T ABSOLUTE GARBAGE CRINGE!!!!!!!!! AAAHH YEAAASSSSSHHHHHH!!!!

lmao I can't roast this chapter for some reason it actually has some quality for once... (ouchhhhh okay that was a burn :fire:)

So mister Jitsu is interested in Pushpako huh? (What is with these names parents must take heroine everyday or something like bruh tf is that name.)

AND YES FUCK YES I AM FINALLY DONE!!!!!

Bro this author watched too much stand up comedy from weeb degenerate and thought he could be funny by coping his virginity in a self insert virgin story cock blocking a chad to getting advancement in life. This story is so cringe that anybody would get increased heart attack rates just by reading the title.

Coping virgins/10 rather leave celibacy and get gf then read this again!

XD XD XD XD XD XD XD JK JK JK JK

Final Review:

The chapters are fucking long in my standards I think the earlier chapters were super cringe XD I don't know if the author was going for that, but if he did then he did a great job in that area. It has its funny moments too and if you have a lot of time on your hand and like cringe then this story is for you!

P.S: If you want to enter too, please apply at the form!

P.S.S: (I worked on this for hours and now I wanna die)

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

Author Link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/9737