|The necessary conversation nobody wanted

(vol 2 chap 2)

They both went in and took their seats.
“So, what do you want to get?”

“I’ll stick to whatever you’re having. It will definitely be good.”

She chuckled in response, and he smiled with a sense of relief. The old Myra that he grew up with was back, personality wise.

“I see. Don’t be disappointed, then.”

A couple of minutes after, the food was presented to them.

“Let’s eat.”

“Yeah.”

The meat and vegetable soup had an inviting aroma that piqued his interest. The meat was cut in different shapes. Circles, stars, triangles, squares etc. It seemed like a kid’s meal, but the creativity was certainly praise-worthy. The main dish was a huge kunai shaped meat that was considered the owner’s “magnum opus”. He tried the first dish and the taste was simply out of this world. He had tasted good soup but not this good.

“It’s delicious.”

“Indeed. When Setsuna first dragged me here, I was sceptical at first but now, I see why she was in love with this place. Why don’t you try the second one? It’s her most popular dish.”

“Hmmm..”

He stared down at the meat with a bit of eagerness mixed with doubt. It certainly looked good, even better than the divine soup he just tasted, but there was something off.

--It looks good. Might as well try it.

{munch}

He took a large bite, immediately his body rejected it. Now he knew why Setsuna was making such a fuss about honey.

“It’s….deli--”

He covered his mouth midway, which made Myra sigh.

“I told you ahead of time.”

“Why the hell do you add honey to your meat?”

“Oh, I left out those details. I’m sorry.”

Shinji was a simple man when it came to food choices or combos. He never mixed the basic tastes together because to him, no harmony could be formed. In other words, he wasn’t that good at handling foods that had multiple layers taste wise. This was why the honey filled meat was an absolute no for him. He found it hard to swallow but he was successful.

“It’s fine. That’s my fault.”

The chef came running to their table. She must have noticed the displeasure on his face while cooking. She was multi-tasking but this didn’t seem to affect the quality of the food she produced. Her eyes sparkled in excitement as she approached them. He initially thought it was just a persona she put up for the environment but she looked genuinely happy.

“Pardon my intrusion, but is there a problem, sir?”

“No, not really. I’ll like to order a piece of spicy grilled fish.”

“Got it. It will be ready in a couple of minutes. Please be patient.”

She bowed her head then ran back to the kitchen, her ponytail swaying left and right, a sigh of relief shown as she handled the cooking.

“Cheer up, you’ll enjoy the fish, too.”

“Yes. If the Meat was spicy or salty, I would have enjoyed it.”

“This place is just a tiny portion of what Quesetania has to offer. They’re the ones ahead of everyone in every aspect. Technology-wise and also in terms of culture. So this is the result of diversity, huh?”

“I guess so.”

“I hate to admit it but it’s all thanks to Jade. He might be a snake but he’s probably the most open minded ruler Quesur has had so far.”

“That’s really impressive.”

….………………….. Awkwardness set in, and it was crushing, for the both of them.

“Really, though. You scared the hell out of Mimi-chan. She probably thought you were poisoned.”

“Is that how it looked?”

“A little.”

“Haha…I can’t imagine myself getting poisoned.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, for starters. We are in Kagesame territory. He is cruel but very simple. No matter, how many people may think of harming me, the rewards aren’t really rewarding. The disadvantages would greatly outweigh the advantages so they will perish the thought and move on.”

“Your point has some holes but yeah, it’s valid.”

“Well, it’s all thanks to their ruler. He’s not strict but he’s scary. Which means anything that can make him switch moods would mean a fate worse than death for whoever responsible.”

“Can’t argue with that. But I really don’t approve of his torture methods.”

“From what I heard, when he was a little kid, his mum told him stories of famous legends and how they all met their demise. With that, he had an obsession with the word ‘demise’ and thought of the most interesting ways to torture people and make them seek death. It fills him with so much pleasure, it’s like a hobby.”

From her reaction, it was clear that this topic was sickening so he segued onto something lighter.

“Huh…I didn’t know you loved honey that much, reminds me of Setsuna..”

“I’m not even surprised that you know that. Her first impressions leave nothing out.”

“She’s so different than what I imagined.”

“What did you imagine?”

“I know she’s not supposed to be a clone of you, but the difference in personality is rather intriguing.”

“That’s Setsuna for you. In that goofiness lies an unshakable strength that I’ve not seen in anyone. The more you get to know her, the more you get to see that she’s more than just an idiot.”

“I guess that makes sense. She was wondering why I didn’t bring up the difference in your appearances.”

“That idiot.”

“Its fine. She just wasn’t used to people not asking questions.”

“Hmm.”

“She said I should ask you about it later. But I wouldn’t dare discuss something like that out in the open.”

“As tactless as always. Even I had some matters I was hoping to discuss with you but that will probably have to wait. I just hope she didn’t smother you with questions.”

“.……well.”

{sigh}

“I’ll give her an appropriate punishment when next I see her.”

“You’re enjoying the meal???”

“Indeed. Normally, I would have eaten this once but I had to get another round simply because of the honey.”

“You two sure love honey.”

“Yeah, I’m even the reason she loves it that much. When we were kids, we ate the same food because she had no idea what she wanted so she stuck to me like glue. We did everything together, just like twins. It was from there that her love for honey rose.”

“Wow.”

“Do you know how the name ‘dragonfish-tail’ came about?”

“How?”

“According to her, they were stuck with two names. Setsuna was with ‘gemini tail’ and Mimi, the owner, was with ‘dragonfish-scale’.”

--What the hell is a gemini tail?

“What kind of names are those?”

“Weird, right? Then I just told them to combine it. Then they got ‘dragonfish-tail’.”

--Still sounds weird..

“You’re probably thinking it’s still weird.”

“You got me.”

“Of course, we’re childhood friends, after all. Wait a minute…I told you about the honey thing years ago..”

“Umm..”

“I didn’t expect you to remember.”

“Now I feel bad..”

“You don’t have to..”

She smiled at him. It was a rather lonely gaze with a burden tied to it. Her lips pursed but slowly, slightly rose up.

“How is Keiko doing?”

“Keiko? She’s fine, I guess.”

“I’m sure she has forgotten about me.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“You think?? That’s great. How did the selection process go? Did she have to participate or was she the clear winner?”

“Well, she was one of the best candidates there so I picked her. It was like cutting things off midway but that’s what the Yatogamis are known for. Don’t be surprised. That’s what my dad and uncle did.”

“I see.”

“What about you?”

“I’ve been delaying mine for about two years. They said they need a heir to the Soragami clan but I’m not ready. Not yet.”

“I understand. I’ll tell you a secret.”

She ran her fingers through each side of her blue hair, over her ear.

“I’m all ears…”

“I’m not really the ruler of Bruma. Not the real ruler, that is. Someone else does the ruling while I just have the title. I’m also not ready for it yet.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.. It’s after my marriage that I will be eased into it permanently. I can’t wait..”

He said these words in his most sarcastic tone, which caught her off guard. She nearly chuckled.

“I can relate to an extent.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

“For one, I hated that rule when I was little and I still do. Why is marriage based on genes and bloodline?? Shouldn’t it be about love?”

“It’s an old and stupid rule but then, it’s true that there is a higher chance of a clan growing weak if the partners aren’t anywhere close in terms of their attributes or skills.”

“So you agree with it?”

“Not at all. My mother had no magic at all, but I think that it didn’t change anything. I wouldn’t want anyone else. Not even from the Kagesame clan.”

“Me, too. Luckily, my parents were in love from the start.”

“Quite similar to me, then.”

“.…You really love Keiko?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry. That was wrong of me to ask. Of course, you love her.”

“Yeah..”

“And she loves you too..”

“Yeah..”

“...Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Why I always wanted that rule abolished?”

“No.”

“Back when I was still the only child, I already knew what lied in store for me at the end of the tunnel. It was like I could predict my own future. That was how fixed and terrible it was. The only thing that made me feel better was that I wasn’t the only one. The only one with responsibilities that I never asked for.”

“.…..”

“I loved you….. for such a long time. Ever since the time that I first came to Bruma. But then, I knew that given the circumstances that we were in, both of us will be fellow rulers of our respective countries. It was really painful; I didn’t like that idea. I despised it so so much that I wished I could destroy my own future. It was naive but at the time, my cure for that was visiting you regularly. It always filled me with some relief, even though it sort of served as a reminder that the moments we shared wouldn’t last.”

“You ruled out my brother, though. He was always quiet and seemed like a weakling, but that boy was a monster. I wasn’t his rival, he was my rival. He honestly didn’t care but I knew deep down that I probably wasn’t going to be selected.”

“I just didn’t see it that way. You were the better leader, already. That was why I wasn’t putting my hopes on Shirou. Not one bit.. Sounds terrible, right? I wanted your brother to rule Bruma just so you could be with me without ever confirming your feelings..Not even once.”

“It’s okay. No matter how many terrible things you’ve thought, the same thing goes for everyone. At times, I’ve wished that my brother could disappear. Terrible, right? At the time, he got all the attention from our Mum and it always pissed me off. No matter what I did, she would pay more attention to him, always. Luckily, I grew out of it. So you see, no matter how terrible you think you are, you can never be as terrible as me.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Maybe?”

They both chuckled and after a while, their gaze met in one specific area, each other’s eyes.

“When I was little, I didn’t really know much about love apart from the one my parents had for each other. I know this doesn’t change a thing,but…I guess I did have a crush on you.”

“Really?”

“Why else did you think I always came along to play when you asked only me to keep you company??”

“I didn’t think of it as anything. You always seemed like you had no choice. I see…Thank you….and sorry.”

In his eyes, she watched the tears fall from her face. This was quite unexpected. She struggled to maintain composure as her sealed lips opened.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I’m sorry that despite everything, I could not help but hope that Shirou would be the new ruler. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything for you when your clan was wiped out.. I’m sorry for not even being there for my sister. I’m sorry I placed my hopes on the line and lost it all. I’m sorry I defeated my sister. I’m sorry for not being able to show that warm and kind feeling to you in front of others… I’m sorry.. that although I still love you…..There is not a chance of us being together..Not ever.”

“Yeah…It’s the most important details that keep on getting past me. I’m sorry for not noticing these burdens you were carrying. It’s been so many years…It’s been so many years…”

As he placed his arms on the table, jointly, they began to shake. His emotions were raging deep inside him.

“It’s been so many years since we last met. We both suffered similar fates yet I was the one that was affected the most by it. Truth is, when I was told that Soragami Myra, the ruler of Desnia, was distancing herself from Bruma who arguably had the best relationship among the other nations, I was a bit surprised…and a bit relieved. I didn’t know what I could possibly say to someone like me that was hurting. If I had the right answer to that question, maybe things would have been better for the both of us.”

“Distancing myself from Bruma. Yeah, I did that so that I won’t have to face you. Silly me, I’m such a shitty ruler that I chose my personal feelings over the prosperity of the nation. My father must be rolling in his grave.”

She chuckled to herself while looking down at the table. Shame couldn’t allow her raise her head.

“Don’t say that. I won’t talk about how good of a ruler you are. However,you will make a good wife.”

“I know, right??”

Her tear filled smile shut the conversation down to oblivion.After an awkward minute of sniffling and staring, they ate what was left of their dinner and didn’t say a single word during that process. Dinner was officially over and both of them decided to call it a night.

“I don’t know when next I’ll see you but I hope you will be safe until then. Take care of yourself, Myra.”

“I should be telling you that. You’re technically the most wanted person in Quesur at the moment. Well, for the few people that know.”

“I’ll try not to get into any danger.”

“That’s what you always said, even as a kid. I’m sorry that I won’t be able to be there for your wedding ceremony. Give Keiko my regards.”

“She will understand, you have a whole country on your shoulders.”

“Yeah, I love my country a lot.”

“Bye, Myra.”

“Goodbye, Shinji.”

They went in opposite directions and the long awaited reunion came to an end. Thanks to their heart to heart and a full set of disguises that the two wore, she walked forward with a lighter heart as the reality of her burdens remained visible. Back at the restaurant, her mischievous twin sister hid in the kitchen, peeping from the corner of the opening.

“What are you still doing here, big sis Setsuna??”

“Oh, me? I just came to check up on her.”

“There you go again.”

“Mimi, can’t you see the--”

“She’s a fully grown adult.”

“I know, I know..But, that doesn’t stop me from caring about her so I can’t help it.”

“But why are you hiding here of all places? We’re trying to cook.”

“Hehe, Mimi-chan is as cute as always.”

“Hmmph that’s not going to work on me.”

“Pleasee, let me watch until they leave.”

{sigh}

“Fine.”

She threw a hug around Mimi who was another person that considered Setsuna a handful. After her targets left the table, headed for the exit, she also exited using the back entrance that she came in with.

“Looks like she has finally moved on.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, seems like it’s my cue to leave now. This time, you might not see me for a while, okay?”

“Sure, take care, big sis Setsuna.”

She ran to the accommodation handed to them by Jade himself. It was a nicely shaped building, one lacking the usual japanese touch but used practically the same materials. It wasn’t too far from the lunar skytemple so walking there was not too difficult. Shinji’s accommodation on the other hand was the opposite. He was given the farthest at first but after Noragami stormed out of the room and left Quesetania immediately, he was given the one that was reserved for him. She got there just in time and jumped on the bed, turning to the side and covering herself up. Myra was probably not in the mood for a conversation so this was the best choice. Myra arrived about a few minutes later. The room was peaceful and quiet. Perhaps too quiet. She took a deep breath and exhaled sharply.

“Thank you for looking out for me. You are the best sister I could ask for. And please, don’t feel guilty for failing to beat me. That was nobody’s fault. It was our ideals and hopes on the line so no one was at fault”

“.…..”

“No one.. was at fault.”

She knelt down and sobbed quietly. Her hands covered her face like a mask. There were still some tears left, after all. Setsuna held in her urge to rush to her side and give her a warm hug but stayed in place.

--This is for the best.

The next morning, Shinji got up early, preparing to return but she woke up even earlier.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why don’t we head back?”

“Huh?”

“Have you forgotten?? I’m sure Myra already told you. Our forces would be teaming up with yours for the mean time, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Well, this will probably be my first time in Bruma so please take care of me.”

She stretched her arm and he did the same. Behind her were the top generals that were assigned to follow them. Shinji’s men reluctantly left after Ryugo departed that same day under the orders of Shinji. Only a few men were still left. He would have preferred travelling back by himself if possible but he couldn’t send them all away. Now he had her men to deal with. They were about two thousand in number, just half of the total number assigned. The remaining half were departing straight from Desnia. Shinji sighed as Setsuna directed him to the main carriage that she brought. Now it felt like he was being escorted just like his previous journey. It made him slightly uncomfortable since they were all new faces. Setsuna didn’t question the loose or rather, odd behaviour of all his men. In fact, she was all for it. A more informal system like that was the best in her eyes. They entered the carriage and prepared for departure, back to the land of fog and mist, Bruma.