Syncing... Synchronization Failed

It’s strange, really strange.

I wonder why I’m only noticing it now, but something has been missing from my daily cycle.

Not only is it a regular occurrence, but it is something that is very natural that I should be noticing when it does not take place. Yet, here I am, on my third morning being tied to a tree upside-down, have I started questioning why the things that should be happening aren’t happening.

I have neither urinated nor defecated this entire time!

Generally, when I wake up in the morning, I always get the urge to pee. Yet, I haven’t felt the need to relieve myself ever since I’ve been hanged to this tree.

It’s the same case for poo. I haven’t skipped a meal in the same time frame and they seemed nutritious enough, but somehow, I’ve become constipated.

What’s even stranger is that I have never heard of a condition that causes someone to be unable to pee. Having a long gap between poo, sure. I’ve heard my mother and some of her friends talk about having this condition so I know it exists. But, as for peeing, I’ve only heard of being unable to control it.

I think I can hold off on pooing for now as the cleanup will be difficult. But, having no knowledge of what being unable to pee will bring is making me think I should at least try forcing it out.

However, as Aria’s basket is in front of me, I am loath to urinate in that direction. I wouldn’t want the thing holding all my food and water to be covered in pee. Of course, I’ve already tried picking it up the other day so I already know it can’t be moved and I’m the one who has to adjust.

I figured I could at least aim for the tree, but, since the magic that ties my feet to the branch works like a rope, I only return to my original position when I try to rotate to face the direction I want.

Having no other choice, I resolved to sacrifice a bottle. I have four anyway and I usually don’t consume them all until the next refill. The idea is to pee into the bottle then throw the contents towards the tree.

I’m not going to throw the bottle as I don’t know if it will be replaced if it was missing in the basket. I do not want to gamble it as I would potentially face sacrificing two bottles, which I am not prepared to do.

I grab one bottle and gulp down its contents even though I’m not particularly thirsty. No point letting the water go to waste.

After drinking all the water, I placed the bottle down on the ground. I can’t unbuckle my belt with only one hand. I then reached towards my waist to do exactly just that. Once the belt came undone, I pulled my trousers down to expose my son.

As soon as I did, I heard someone talk.

“What are you doing?” a female voice asked.

I looked to see who it was and found a girl standing in front of me. A fairly attractive girl, if I may add.

She wore a large straw hat to protect herself from the sun, which would have hidden her entire head from me if I was standing upright. Since I was upside-down, I could clearly see her pretty face.

If you see someone this beautiful out here in the woods, you’d be forgiven to think you’ve met a forest nymph. Her clothes will tell you otherwise, however.

She was dressed in a pearl white off-shoulder blouse and a short navy blue skirt, which makes her appear a bit out of place as, not only she doesn’t look like one of the villagers, she seems like a young noblewoman lost in the woods.

“Oh, you know, just hanging around”, I humorously replied to her question, still with my privates exposed.

The girl wasn’t someone I don’t know, so I cracked a joke. It was Aria. I hadn’t noticed when we met at the pub the other day as she had a scowl on her face, but has she always been this cute?

She didn’t seem amused by my quip, however. She was facing away, red-faced and seemingly stressed about the thing she was seeing in front of her.

“If you don’t want to tell me, I don’t care”, she responded. “But, pull your trousers up now that I’m here!”

I did what I was told without fanfare. Although, I felt I should offer the real reason since it was a real concern of mine so I told her about my inability to pee and poo.

“You’re concerned about that?” she echoed. “You shouldn’t be able to; your food is enchanted to prevent you from doing so.”

“Wow, I didn’t know there were magic spells for that.”

“It’s great, isn’t it?” she enthusiastically said. “You probably only know the spells from all those heroic tales, but there is a lot more to magic than that.”

“Is that right?” I reacted unenthusiastically.

I couldn’t reciprocate her zeal as I regret my initial amazement. I realized it would start a long unsolicited lecture.

Aria was the type that could talk on and on about the things she’s interested in. After she left for the capital, we exchanged letters for a while and that was when I realized she had a passion for magic as she wrote pages upon pages about the topic to me. So much that I would not be exaggerating if I say I could create a grimoire or two by simply compiling them.

Of course, at the time, I read the letters intently. I wasn’t particularly interested nor could I hope to conjure magic after reading them, but I still read them in earnest. Even now, I would gladly listen to her chatter about it. But, with my current state, being hung upside-down for four days now, I can’t help but be impatient.

She’s appeared before me, which means she’s finally going to let me down, right?

I wanted to ask her if she was going to let me down, but somehow, I couldn’t interrupt as she explained the military applications of small mundane spells, including the one that prevents urination and defecation. It’s hard to disrupt her talk when she looks like she’s having fun.

In the meantime, there was another thing on my mind.

When we were kids, Aria did not pay attention to her appearance. Her mother dressed her up, but it was mostly dresses similar to the other village girls so she more or less looked like a bumpkin. The Aria in front of me now looks like a refined lady so there is one thing that is making me curious.

As fortune has it, I was in a prime position to satisfy my curiosity. I just need to change the angles a little bit.

I started swinging forward and backward by nodding my head. Slightly, but surely and only after she finishes a phrase or a sentence to disguise what I am about to do.

I didn’t want to make my intentions obvious.

I wanted to peek at what kind of panties she is wearing now.

Has she graduated from kiddy underwear? Is she wearing plain ones contrary to her appearance? Or, has she found the taste for a more mature kind?

This is not an act of perversion. Rather, it is my duty to check her growth as her childhood friend.

Unfortunately for me, she noticed what I was doing.

She crouched down so she and I would be at eye level to each other. Her legs now block the view from the truth. The expression on her face is stern. Then, pointing her index finger at me as if it were a threat, she asks “What are you trying to do?”

“Nothing”, I answered, playing it coolly and trying not to show my nerves. I was going to use the wind as my excuse so it was a surprise to me when I heard myself say “Just trying to take a peek at your panties”.

Aria looked at me disgusted.

Meanwhile, I broke out in a cold sweat. That was not what I was going to say!

Then, realizing what just happened, I protested to her. “You just did something to me, didn’t you?”

“I did”, she replied matter-of-factly. “I made you unable to lie for that brief moment.”

“That’s playing dirty!”

“You were trying to peek up my skirt so we’re even”, she sternly said.

I couldn’t come up with a retort so I had no choice but to let it be.

“Well, I suppose I should have known this would happen if I wore a skirt”, she continued, somehow sounding melancholic. For some reason, she began to sulk. “I also should have known you’re not interested in me talking about magic.”

“That’s not true, I was listening”, I said, which is the truth. I may have had some other intentions, but I was still listening.

“Liar.”

“Then try that trick on me again”, I stated as a challenge to her.

“Are you sure?” She asked for confirmation for some reason. “One side effect of this spell is shortening your hair’s lifespan, which may make you bald earlier.”

What an oddly specific side effect. Regardless, I didn’t want to go bald.

“No, I changed my mind! But still, why are you using that spell if it’s harmful?!”

“It’s not fatal if that’s what you mean.”

“Baldness is socially fatal for young men like me!” I exclaimed as I held my head with both hands, worried it might fall off then and there.

“Don’t worry, it’s not yet proven true if it actually causes baldness”, she said, trying to assuage my worries.

It was not assuring, however.

“Anyway, I was listening to you explain about the after effects of that spell that prevents poo and pee.”

“That was the last thing I talked about, of course it’s easy to remember.”

“You said that the spell doesn’t make the food you digest disappear from your stomach, but rather it only turns them small so it could trick your body into thinking you didn’t eat much.”

“So?”

“You said the kingdom’s army would use it before a battle because taking armor off is a pain for everyone.”

“And?”

“You also talked about using it for yourself when you wanted to maximize the time for studying.”

“...” Her sulky mood was starting to disappear at this point.

“I’m curious, how big a dump did you take afterwards?”

“Alright, that’s enough!” she demanded as she held my mouth to prevent me from pursuing the topic.

She was doing it with both hands so her arms slightly blocked my view of her face, but, with what I could see, I could tell she was red-faced and embarrassed by the question.

“I get it already”, she whimpered, still blushing as she removed her hands from my face.

Apparently, the spell that prevents urination and defecation will last for a week starting from the first time you consume the enchanted food until the digested food returns to normal size. Once the time limit ends, you will feel the need to go and excrete everything, which I imagine is a huge load. Hold it in and you could die from all that feces bloating inside you, which is the caveat of this particular magic.

I've learned that from listening to Aria.

“Can I say one more thing?”

Aria hesitated to answer for a moment. “As long as it’s not about that.”

“That” being the question I asked before, I assume. But, it was the last thing on my mind. Instead, I have a couple grievances that I’d like to air on Aria.

Like leaving me exposed to the elements. It was lucky it had not rained in the past few days, but the nights were still cold.

Boredom is also an issue. There isn’t much to do for stimulation when I’m stuck in one place.

Then, there’s leaving me exposed to wild animals. Bears have been spotted nearby around the area as of late. There are traps to prevent them from coming close, but I haven’t checked on them for a while now. In fact, I was supposed to check them this week. Regardless, some still get past the traps so they were not perfect deterrents. I was lucky that only foxes have come near me. But, even then, the foxes that came to steal my lunch the other day haven’t left me alone yet as they observed me each meal time.

Bugs have also been a problem. In fact it’s still a problem now as I slapped my neck to chase away a fly. Luckily, it’s only been flies and mosquitoes so far. Wasps would have been a very big problem.

Not to mention, hygiene. I’ve been able to clean my hands with the water in the bottles at least, but sweat has accumulated on my body due to various happenings and I’ve been unable to wash it off.

“I was wondering what that odor was”, Aria quipped after closing her eyes and taking a quick sniff in my direction. “It’s you who’s emitting a smell like an animal's.”

“You don’t have the right to complain about how I smell when you’re the one who put me in this situation”, I protested.

“Why am I the one being scolded here? You’re the one who should be repenting.”

“Why? What did I do?”

I genuinely didn’t know.

“Think about it long and hard”, she playfully said, although her eyes weren’t smiling.

I played along anyway.

“Is it because I broke your dog’s leg?” I asked.

It was something that happened more than a year ago. I was trying to fix the roof of my parents' house and I accidentally let the hammer fall on Aria’s dog, who happened to be resting below me. The tool hit its hind leg and broke some bones so now it walks with a limp.

“I’m really sorry for it, but I swear it was an accident.”

“My mother already told me what happened, I don’t blame you for it.”

“Then, was it something I did before you left six years ago?”

“It isn’t.”

I was thinking maybe it was that thing from years ago, but I was certain nobody found out. At least, at the time I was sure. However, I was almost caught so it’s plausible I was identified but nobody had confronted me about it nor was I charged with the crime so I felt confident I got away with it.

However, what else would she be mad at me for?

“You look like you have something you want to say”, Aria said, pointing her finger at me again. “Shall I do it once more?”

“No, I’ll talk!” I pleaded, not wanting to risk if the spell really does cause baldness. “A year after you left, I entered your room and went through your underwear drawer.”

“YOU WHAT!?” she exclaimed loudly and, unsurprisingly, angrily.

Hoping to placate her, I offered my reasoning for the act.

“Remember that trading card game we used to play with everyone? Well, I was looking for that rare card of mine. Remember that, too? It was pretty overpowered. Anyway, I realized I lent it to you but we both forgot about it until you left for the capital. I tried looking for it in your room, which is when I stumbled upon your drawers.”

Aria did not react, only giving me a disapproving look while red-faced.

“Don’t worry, I only touched them to move them out of the way so I could see the bottom of the drawer. I wasn’t interested in kiddy panties.”

“YOU TOUCHED THEM, TOO?!” she shouted as she stood up.

“Why are you so angry? That was years ago and I’m pretty sure you now own new pairs that are mature.”

As soon as I said that, she closed her legs and stretched her skirt to make it seem longer. She is now giving me a hateful look.

She probably thought I caught a glance up her skirt, but I genuinely did not see anything.

Although, with her reaction, I can guess she was wearing mature panties. A part of me wanted to see it, but this wasn’t the time.

I needed to calm her down so I told her “I didn’t see anything!”.

“You pervert! You can stay hanged for another day!” she shouted as she disappeared into thin air.

“Wait, you can’t leave me here! I still have things I need to do!” I screamed, likely in vain as I wasn’t sure whether what she did was teleport somewhere or simply became invisible.