Chapter 1:

~ Utter Despair ~

Maybe I Was Better Off Alone


I loved you more than anyone.Bookmark here

I know I was never in love with you, but the feelings I had were so strong that I often couldn't tell the difference.Bookmark here

For as long as it lasted, I never wanted you to leave me. I just wanted you to always be my friend.Bookmark here

But time was my greatest adversary.Bookmark here

We grew up, changed schools, and fell out of touch.Bookmark here

You disappeared off the face of the earth like you wanted nothing to do with me.Bookmark here

But if time was my enemy, then fate was my friend.Bookmark here

Fate was on my side that day when we found our way back. You and I.Bookmark here



We were an inseparable pair.Bookmark here

If I had the chance, I would have given you a candy ring as a token of our friendship.Bookmark here

It was fun while it lasted, but it had to come to an end.Bookmark here

There was nothing I could do about time.Bookmark here

The clock moved forward, impossible to rewind.Bookmark here

It was too much of a chore to keep up and soon I simply forgot. I decided I would leave it all behind.Bookmark here

By now, you had simply become a memory of the past. But here you were standing in the present.Bookmark here

Here you were, face to face with your old childhood friend.Bookmark here

But three's a crowd.Bookmark here




You were my best friend, and yet you looked at me like you couldn't even remember who I was. You didn't forget, but I had to do some nudging before you could say my name.Bookmark here

At that time, I was happy you were doing well. But I have a new life now. It's time you move on.Bookmark here

How can I do that when you always ignore me?Bookmark here

Why didn't you look at me when I said hi to you?Bookmark here

Why didn't you tell me about that one thing?Bookmark here

Why do you always spend your time with someone else?Bookmark here

Why do you always shut me out?Bookmark here

You don't even treat me like a person anymore.Bookmark here

Why are you doing this to me? Don't you know I have feelings?Bookmark here

So do I.Bookmark here

You were the wedge between the two of us.Bookmark here

What made you so upset with me?Bookmark here

Why did you have to tell those lies?Bookmark here

Why did you have to pin the blame on me?Bookmark here

Why did you have to tarnish my good name?Bookmark here

After everything I did, we stood on the rooftop looking back at each other. All I could do was smile at you, but you used every muscle in your face to frown upon me. I could see it in your eyes. You wanted nothing else to do with me. You felt nothing but scorn.Bookmark here

Good.Bookmark here

I knew it wasn't right, but it's what I deserved.Bookmark here

But what's the matter? You look sad. Bookmark here

Do you feel regret? Bookmark here

Do you finally understand the pain you've caused? Bookmark here

Do you get it now? Bookmark here

Do you want to try and fix this?Bookmark here

But what can you do? It's the same as it was all those years ago. Maybe you didn't mean any harm when we were kids, but now it's serious. If only you would've accepted me then.Bookmark here

It didn't have to come to this. Can't we just put this all behind us? Let's turn everything back the way it was.Bookmark here

All I ever wanted was to be your friend. Bookmark here

But it's never going to work.Bookmark here

I just want to see you suffer. Bookmark here

I want you to feel pain, just as I have. Bookmark here

I want to see you heartbroken.Bookmark here

I want you to know what it's like to be all alone.Bookmark here

Maybe, it was better off this way. If I had never met you, I wouldn't have to feel this way. I would be blissfully unaware of how much I could care for another. I would just go about living my life in solitude, just as I've always had.Bookmark here

I wouldn't have a reason to cry over you.Bookmark here

I wouldn't have these shallow memories.Bookmark here

There'd be no reason to think of you in the first place.Bookmark here

I'm sorry.Bookmark here

Ya know, I'm just a little disappointed is all.Bookmark here

You never got around to giving me that ring you promised. Sure, after all these years, the candy would've been long gone, but at least we would've been married in friendship.Bookmark here

Bookmarked
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