[Dawn and Dusk] Day 680: I Need You, I Need You, I Need You

(I gotta say, it was refreshing to have received so many gifts. Especially with everything Yoko bought me, I don't think I'll get bored ever again. Still, as the days went on, I worried about Izzy. It seemed she wasn't getting out much, so I figured we could probably go somewhere fun...)

The sun beamed down upon the neighborhood with merciless fury. The heat shimmer made the roads look wet from afar, which only served to make the unbearable heat feel even hotter. On this sun-scorched day, in that massive oven of a town, Osamu and Isabella went out on a mission to fetch some cold snacks. The short walk to the local convenience store proved to be a tribulation for them both. Even with her tank-top and short shorts, Isabella was on the verge of disintegrating into a powder.

"It's so hot..." Isabella moaned with a whimper. "Let's get this ice cream and hurry home."

"Yeah, I'm with you on that." Osamu sighed, folding a few sweat-drenched strands of hair behind his ears.

They could already feel the cool air conditioning on their skin as they arrived at the convenience store entrance. At long last, after a twenty minute walk that felt like an eternity, Osamu and Isabella could get some reprieve from summer's heat.

"I gotta go to the bathroom." Isabella said, handing Osamu her wallet. "Here, use my card. Remember to get cookie dough flavor for Gekko. Oh, and Izanami said she wanted rum and raisin."

"Did you want any specific flavor, Izzy?"

"Nah, just a small thing of vanilla is fine."

"All right. Meet you outside?" Osamu asked.

Isabella nodded."Yep. See you out there."

After purchasing all of the requested ice cream, Osamu sat outside in the shade, awaiting Isabella's return. After using the restroom, Isabella leaned forward on the faucet counter, curiously scanning her sickly reflection in the dirty mirror. She was sure only she was beginning to notice, but her waning appetite was clearly beginning to thin her out.

"I'm losing weight." Isabella mumbled. "The doctor said this would happen..."

Faced with her own reflection, Isabella's mind briefly drifted off into a dark place. She thought of how this was only the beginning, that pancreatic cancer would make the journey to death slow and painful. Sooner or later, her body would be ravaged by her disease.

Weight loss and stomach pain would be the least of her problems. She balled her hands into fists to stop their shaking, to no avail. Her fists trembled atop the counter as her heart ricocheted back and forth inside her chest. The mere thought of the pain and agony waiting for her rattled her to her core.

She took a deep breath and composed herself. At least, for now, she was healthy enough to go about her regular life. She decided to focus on that as she washed her hands. Isabella rejoined Osamu outside and embarked on the the walk back home. Osamu showed her an interesting bit of information on his phone as they walked.

"Check it out, they're finally rolling out the fireworks this year!" Osamu sang. "I was thinking we could go ahead and attend the festival. Yoko has a few spare yukata laying around."

"Oh really?" Isabella gasped in delight. "I'd love to watch the fireworks with you, Osa!"

"All right, then it's a date!" Osamu said.

Isabella smiled and locked arms with Osamu as they went home that day, their minds set on the upcoming fireworks festival. It was going to be their reward for the suffering they endured walking to and fro the convenience store.

(But, when the day finally came...)

Unfortunately, the festival got rained out before it could even begin. The town was hit with a surprise bout of heavy rainfall, leading to the postponement of the festival. Just a few days prior, the sun-baked town had a sapphire-blue sky looming over it. Today, the blue had turned into gaseous cloaks of wintry grey. Osamu and Isabella sat on the front steps of the house, gazing away as the water slammed against the ground and the wind shook the trees.

"Summer rains, you can never predict them." Isabella said.

"Yeah, guess so." Osamu responded. "We'll just have to go another time, then. Sorry, Izzy. Though, knowing you, you prefer the New Year's fireworks since they're more lively."

Osamu noticed how Isabella seemed to be staring off into the distance, beyond her own surroundings. It was like she just turned off for a few seconds and fallen into a coma with her eyes open. Then, she spoke.

"Hey, Osamu..."

"Yeah?"

"If I'm still alive by the time New Year's comes around, I'd love to ring it in with you, Yoko, and the others. Including Aika, and the Shoku Twins."

Isabella turned her gaze skyward. "I've only told Yoko this so far...but I've decided. I want to die here, with my dearest friends by my side. I'll make arrangements for me to be buried back home in America."

Osamu couldn't find the words to say in that moment. He had been so preoccupied with trying to make sure Isabella was having a good time, tricking himself into forgetting the grim reality of her condition. Her surprise announcement put a bullet through his heart. Isabella wasn't just thinking of the here and now, but also of the end.

Isabella giggled. "It's kind of weird talking about what's gonna happen to me after I die, since I'm still alive right now, huh?"

Osamu nodded. "Yeah..."

Isabella stretched her arms and released a relaxed moan. "At least the rain is nice."

(I couldn't help but feel like she was putting up a brave front for my sake.)

The next morning, Isabella woke up early and went down to the kitchen to call her mother. The other girls were still asleep. Isabella knew exactly what she needed to say and she knew how her mother might react. However, she had made her choice. No one else could make it for her.

Osamu lazily sauntered out of the bedroom, stopping at the top of the stairs as he overheard Isabella's phone call.

"Hey, Mom." Isabella said, sitting at the island. "Can you hear me? Okay...good...how have you been? That's good....so...I've decided, and I thought I should tell you. Yeah...I'm not coming home. I want to die here, with my friends. After that, I want my body to be sent back to the States. It took me a little while to make this decision, you know? I really do miss you guys. It was almost impossible to choose between staying here with them or going back home with you and Dad again. But...I really, truly love these people. They've taken care of me the past couple of years. I want to spend as much time as I can with them before I part."

Isabella paused, waiting for a response from her mother. "...Mom?"

She slouched her head and covered her eyes with her hand. Her voice softened, and broke as her tears fell through the gaps between her fingers. "Please don't cry, Mom..."

Osamu went back into the bedroom and laid down with the rest of the girls in bed.

(I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Her parents were sacrificing having their only daughter come home before she passed away, just so she could spend that time with us instead. But...maybe it's because they're parents that they understood Isabella's feelings the best.)

Osamu closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Soon after the talk with her mother, Isabella began her ascent upstairs. Her legs felt as though they were filled with sand. Her head grew light and her vision fuzzy. Before she knew it, she blacked out, and the sound of her tumbling down the stairs woke everyone from their slumber. Yoko was the first to jump out of bed and race down the stairs towards Isabella, whose head was bleeding and forming a small, red pool on the floor.

"Izzy!" Yoko cried.

Yoko sat Isabella's head up, seeing the gash on the top right of her scalp. She wasn't moving, but was still breathing. The others made their way down as well.

"What happened?! Did she fall?" Osamu asked.

"She's losing a lot of blood from her head!" Yoko warned.

"Izanami! Take her to the hospital immediately!" Tsukiakari commanded.

"On it!" Izanami responded.

Izanami picked the unconscious Isabella in her arms, and the two disappeared into thin air. Tsukiakari ran upstairs to put her clothes on as Yoko slouched against the wall with Isabella's blood staining her hands and floor. Osamu pressed his hands against her cheeks, forcing her to look at him.

"Hey! Snap out of it! We need to go to the hospital and make sure she's okay!" Osamu ordered.

Yoko nodded. "I'm sorry, you're right..."

Yoko quickly washed her hands off in the kitchen sink, but they were still stained with a slight red hue. She and Osamu got their clothes on, and along with Tsukiakari, they went to the hospital. They found Izanami sitting in the hallway, waiting for Isabella to get out. Figuring Isabella had already been moved to the emergency room, Osamu and the others joined her in the agonizing wait.

(Waiting in the hospital...that sure is fun...)

"How is she?" Osamu asked.

"All I know is that it's not her day to die. She should be fine, but I don't know how or if the fall will affect her." Izanami explained.

"I guess we just have to wait. Poor Izzy..." Tsukiakari lamented.

"She'll pull through. She always does." Yoko assured.

One of the surgeons flung the ER doors open, startling the girls. Everyone stood to greet him, ready to bombard him with questions about her well-being.

"Ms. Bailey told me there would be a group of friends waiting for her. It's you guys, right?" the surgeon asked.

"Is she awake?" Osamu questioned.

The surgeon nodded. "Yeah. It was a nasty fall, but thankfully, there isn't too much damage. Her skull is still in one piece, and there doesn't appear to be any damage to the brain. We sutured up the gash on her head. It probably looked a lot worse than it actually is. It's best for her to stay here for a few days just so we can make sure she's going to be all right.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief at the news.

"Goodness, my heart was restless for a second!" Tsukiakari sighed.

"Can we see her?" Yoko asked.

"Of course." the surgeon answered. "Room 46B, down the hall and to your left."

Yoko bowed. "Thank you very much, doctor."

Yoko opened the door for everyone. Isabella sat up in her bed as she stared out of the window, quickly turning her head to see who was coming in. Yoko jumped on Isabella before she even had the chance to say hello, hugging her so hard she couldn't breathe.

"Hot damn, Yoko! That hurts!" Isabella groaned.

Yoko buried her face into Isabella's shoulder and cried. "I don't care..."

The other girls came in for a group hug, thankful that Isabella was all right.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to make you worry so much. I got a little cut on my head, so there's that. But the doctors stitched me up well, so I'll be okay." Isabella explained with a gung-ho smile.

"I thought you were gonna die and we were never ever gonna cook together again! You broke my heart, Izzy!" Tsukiakari said.

Isabella laughed and brought Tsukiakari in with her other arm. "Like hell I'd go out without making one more meal with you! You and I are culinary war-buddies for life!"

Isabella suddenly gave Osamu a soul-piercing stare. It felt like her very eyes were guns pointing right at him.

"W-what?!" Osamu recoiled.

"Don't think I don't see you over there, looking all gloomy and contemplative. Bring it in, Osamu." Isabella ordered.

Osamu joined the group hug, completing the experience for Isabella.

"I love you guys. I love you all so much. I don't have long, but I'll spend as much time as I can with you." Isabella assured. "Thanks for bearing through all of this. I know it's hard on you too."

Isabella smiled to lighten the mood. It was still as radiant as the sun itself. "Guess it's kind of crappy I'm gonna have to stay here for a bit, huh? I didn't want you guys visiting a hospital during the summer."

"Shut up, you. We're family. We look out for one another. There is no leaving you behind." Yoko said.

"That's right. As if we could ever just lounge about while you're in here. We're sticking with you until the very end." Osamu promised.

Isabella closed her eyes. "Thank you..."

Later that day, Osamu met with Aika and Rei to tell them what happened. Aika was back in her frilly summer dresses and grew her hair out just a little past her shoulders, but still preferring to keep it on the short side. Rei dressed like an attendee of a funeral, going with a tight, black shirt and black short shorts.

The three sat in the bowling alley as the bright, orange sunlight poured through the row of colored glass, painting a rainbow over them

"Well, thank god she's okay. You had me worried when you said she fell down the stairs." Aika sighed.

"Yeah, she just needs a few days in the hospital." Osamu said.

"I'll go visit her tomorrow and make sure she's okay." Rei said.

"I'll go too!" Aika squealed. "We'll bring her flowers to liven up her room a little!"

Osamu smiled. "Thanks guys. She's really going to appreciate it."

Rei kept fiddling around with her thumbs, reminding Osamu of when she played games on her handheld.

"Do you miss it? Omagatoki and Akatsuki have been having fun with it ever since you gave it to them." Osamu teased.

"I-it's not like it was an act of goodwill! It was merely a war crime reparation. That's all." Rei pouted.

Aika whispered into Osamu's ear with a smug expression. "She's lying. She actually felt bad about almost ending the world."

"I heard that!" Rei hissed.

"Is she always this difficult?" Osamu asked.

"Every single day!" Aika cheered.

"You can both kiss my ass..." Rei groaned.

(Well, at least these two are still high in spirit. Isabella could really use their strength right now. I think I can too.)

Later that night, Isabella woke in her hospital bed to find Izanami standing at her side, as still as a shadow. Izzy's head throbbed and pulsated as she sat up and turned on her bedside lamp, taking a tired gander at the fidgeting Izanami. The goddess's eyes were downcast, but they glimmered like glass with the moonlight beaming into the hospital room. Izzy knew Izanami long enough to know something was wrong.

"Izanami? What's wrong?"

Izanami lowered her head. "I'm so sorry, Izzy. I'm so sorry..."

"It's not your fault, love. I just got dizzy and fell, that's all. Really, it's okay. Come, sit down with me."

Izzy patted her hand on a spot right next to her, beckoning Izanami to come over. She accepted the invitation and plopped down on the hospital bed alongside Izzy.

"How are you holding up?" Izanami asked.

Isabella smiled and released a few giggling suspirations. "For someone who fell down the stairs and hit their head, I'm doing just peachy! I think some of the others in this wing have it a lot worse than I do right now."

"No offense, Izzy, but...you don't look all too 'peachy'." Izanami said.

Scratching the back of her head, Isabella's nodded as her smile waned and withered. Her sigh shattered her optimistic attitude. "Yeah. I know. Pancreatic cancer. Can you believe it? Of all people, me. At my age."

"I'm sorry..." Izanami lamented.

Isabella smiled as she held Izanami's hand, shaking it slightly as a sign of reassurance. "No more apologies out of you, miss. This isn't your fault. Besides, I'm glad you came here. I was just thinking I needed someone to talk to. You're always so patient and understanding, Izanami. You're the perfect ear!"

"Well...of course! Whatever you want to say, I'll listen." Izanami assured.

"I, uh, called my mother. Once I learned the extent of the cancer how this was gonna end...I had to decide what I'd do afterwards."

"Afterwards?"

Isabella nodded. "My...my body. After I'm gone."

Izanami's lips trembled, as if she was scared to delve any deeper.

"What did you decide?" Izanami asked.

Isabella clasped her hands together as if in prayer, nodding as her eyes darted across miscellaneous objects in the room, trying to busy themselves. "My folks wanted me to come home as soon as they heard I had cancer. They thought that maybe I'd be able to have it removed surgically in the United States. Unfortunately, my kind of cancer is usually spotted and diagnosed far too late. As was the case with me. By the time the doctors found it, I was already out of options. All I could do was wait for the end. Then, it became a matter of waiting at home with my family, or staying here. It was...the most painful choice I've ever had to make, Izanami, but I chose to stay and meet my end here. I had to prepare myself to tell her, but I was able to let my mother know. That was the first time I'd ever made her cry. I'll never forget that."

"I'm sure she understands." Izanami said.

"Yeah, I'm sure too. I hope I'm sure, anyway. It's just...I'm my mother's last child. My brother died nearly seven thousand miles away from home and was brought back in a box. Looks like I'll be going home in a similar fashion. "

"But you're pretty strong for being able to decide these things and communicate them clearly. You're a decision maker even in a time like this."

"I guess so. No parent should ever have to outlive both of her children." Isabella sighed.

"As morbid as it is to say, there's really no helping it at this point." Izanami said.

"Man, Izanami. What am I gonna do now? It feels like I've hardly even lived much of a life, like I've still got so much unfinished work to do. I wanted to make more friends, get married, have children here, maybe find a job near a U.S. base. If I had enough of my own money, I wanted to open up a restaurant. A nice, small one near our neighborhood. So many things I wanted to do..."

"Perhaps you've done enough. Perhaps your job here is already done. Maybe you've already brought happiness to more lives than you know." Izanami said. "I think the most important thing you can do with the time you have left is to make yourself happy. Find your joy."

Isabella leaned back and nodded with a smile. "When I think of what it is that makes me happy, I just think of you and the others."

Izanami leaned in towards Izzy. "Then, perhaps, that's all you truly need."

Again, with those giggling suspirations, Izzy grinned widely as she spoke. "You're right, you're right. I'm having all of this doubt and guilt because...I...well, Izanami I..."

Her smile broke apart, melting into a somber frown. Her glossy eyes glistened beneath her slightly raised brow, her voice breaking with childlike vulnerability and mortal fear. "I'm scared..."

Her saddened expression, her fear of what was to come, broke Izanami's heart. "Don't be, Izzy. We're all with you, and we'll be with you until the end. Don't simply wait for the end. Waiting is what fills us with fear. Like a book, we have to forge our endings carefully. Write yourself an ending you can be at peace with. An ending worthy of Isabella Bailey. We'll all help you do it."

Izanam took hold of Isabella's hand, squeezing it like it was the last solid thing on earth.

"You're right. You're right..." Isabella cried.

(That night, Izanami took on a heavy burden. She'd have to be the support for all of us, even when we knew things were only going to get worse. I'm proud of her, for providing the optimism that Isabella couldn't give herself with her own mortality hanging over her head.)