[Dawn and Dusk] Day 775: And I'd Be Lying If I Said...

(Friends truly are a wonderful thing...)

It was two cold, tender nights after Isabella's party that Yoko suddenly awoke from her slumber, the moonlight passing through the thin curtains and glaring off of her smooth skin and scarlet hair. She closed and rubbed her tired eyes with her knuckle, looking around the bedroom with her somewhat blurred vision.

Their huge bed was always surrounded by the aura of comfort and longing as the warmth of the whole family permeated from its sheets. Their gentle, sleeping breaths could put one's soul at ease. Osamu, Gekko, Izanami, the Shoku Twins...but the bed seemed to spare enough vacancy for one more person. Merely looking at that empty space drew forth a hurricane of saudade in Yoko's heart.

"Izzy...I miss you..."

She was no stranger to that kind of agony, the pain of missing someone. Once upon a time, it was Osamu. Then it was her late father. Now, it's the girl she never expected to become such a huge part of her life and heart, her former, bitter rival, Isabella Bailey. Yoko quietly got out of bed, throwing a small cardigan over her shoulders as she departed from the room, and gently closing the door behind her.

With every step she took, her memories of Isabella presented themselves as luminescent phantoms, dancing and prancing all around her. Images of her smile, her laughter, her funny fits of frustration, her insults, her way of cooking and cleaning. Her tears, her moments of weakness, her despair after losing her ability to walk, and then her triumphant defiance of her condition, the moment she stood up from her wheelchair.

The beauty of everything Isabella was made itself clearer than ever to Yoko. She was so beautifully, tragically human. She got angry, she experienced sadness, she went through her own personal trials and tribulations. She laughed, she smiled, she loved, and she poured her heart into her meals, which so frequently united everyone in the house around the dinner table. Yoko realized the beauty in all of it, how Isabella revealed every tender side of her soul within the walls of that house. She truly lived there.

Right then and there, Yoko decided she couldn't take it anymore. She flung open the downstairs cabinet, throwing on some jeans and a black thermal with a thick, felt coat. She was going to go see her beloved and precious friend. She made her way over to the hospital, her feet crunching against the snow caking the ground. She passed through the automatic doors and proceeded straight to the front desk.

She slapped down her ID on the reception desk for the lady to inspect. The hospital allowed twenty-four hour visitation for their patients, so her late night entrance was of no issue. After being cleared to see her, Yoko marched down the quiet hall, softening her steps as she approached Isabella's room. She was sure to knock first.

"Izzy? It's Yoko."

"Yoko? C-come in!"

Yoko entered the room with a saddened smile as she laid eyes on Isabella, who greeted her with a beautiful smile of her own, the moonlight kissing the side of her face.

"I'm so glad you're here! It's like you knew I couldn't sleep tonight or something." Isabella said.

"Wait, seriously? I couldn't sleep either!" Yoko gasped.

"Whoa! Does that mean we were thinking about each other?"

Yoko wanted to laugh, but the question was too painfully accurate. Her silence and troubled expression spelled it all out for Isabella.

"I see...you were thinking of me too." Isabella said.

"Can I...sit beside you?" Yoko asked.

"What a silly question. Of course you can."

And so, Yoko sat on Isabella's bedside, the two holding and caressing the others hands. Cracks formed in Yoko's heart as she realized how thin Izzy was getting, and how weak her formerly strong grip had grown. Her disease was slowly stripping her of her strength and vitality.

"I wanted to thank you, Yoko. For the picture, I mean. You don't know how much it means to me that you did that."

"It was nothing. You stayed with me after Osamu died, even though your brother was killed in action shortly after. I'll never forget that."

"It was nothing? No, you're wrong, Yoko. It was everything. Seriously, I can't thank you enough."

"You don't need to thank me, Izzy. We're family. How are you holding up? Is everyone treating you okay? They're not serving you bad food, are they?"

"Well, I can hardly stand to eat anything, but it's not because the food is bad. I just don't have the appetite."

Yoko sighed. "...I hate cancer..."

"How about you and the others? You're all okay, right?"

"I guess so. Obviously, not having you home with us is just...well, it hurts. Actually, I came here because I woke up missing you. I just had to see you again, see your smile and hear your voice."

Isabella grinned. "I was missing you too. I was thinking that there were a lot of things I wanted to say to you and talk to you about."

"Really? Like what?"

"Well..." Isabella hesitated.

"Come on now, what is it? I'll talk to you about anything."

Isabella took a deep breath, averting her eyes from Yoko's. "Back then...when we were in high school and I was dating Osamu...did you hate me?"

What a trip to the past. Being asked to recollect her feelings from high school was a tall task, but Yoko knew there was no harm in answering honestly.

"For a while...I did. Thinking back though, it was my own fault. I had it in my head that Osamu was mine and only mine, so seeing him with someone else really inspired a feeling of nothingness within me. I thought you were taking him away from me. Osamu was...all I had. But now I know that he was all you had as well."

"Hah, I guess you were fooled by the 'popular, foreign, rich girl' aura built up by the class, huh?" Isabella tittered.

"Yeah, I guess so. I should've gotten to know you better instead of assuming I knew about your life. It's not something I'm very proud of, and for that, I apologize. It was wrong of me to hold a grudge against you."

"Don't worry about it. We all make mistakes when we're young."

"Now that I think about it...I never got any signals from you that you hated me. You kept checking in on me, always trying to make friendly conversation. You even stayed with me when my dad died. Why? Didn't you hate me too?" Yoko asked.

"Honestly, I think it started as a favor to Osamu. He didn't want you and I to keep fighting, so I tried extending the olive branch to you. Somewhere along the way though, I did genuinely care about you. I don't know when it happened, you know? I can't pinpoint an exact moment. I just woke up one day, realizing that I had already fostered a genuine care for you. Of course, I did also view you as my rival. We were both in love with the same man. Hell, we still are."

"Damn right we are..." Yoko said.

"Still, I...I don't know. I felt like, on a deeper level, I understood you. I knew what it was like to have no one around, to depend on just that one, special person. Especially after your father died, I realized that I didn't want anything bad to happen to you. I wanted you to be happy. In some ways, I didn't even want you to give up on Osamu."

"...Really?" Yoko asked.

Isabella nodded. "Yeah. It was undeniable that you two were already such a deep part of each others lives. I didn't want to take that away. Thankfully, all these years later, you found quite a good solution to this issue, didn't you? After we all began living with you, we grew closer to one another. I think, because we loved each other so much, we also didn't mind if we all loved Osamu at the same time. You alleviated a lot of the pressure that provoked Aika to commit suicide."

"I still messed up...and we lost Aika in a different kind of way." Yoko lamented.

Isabella shook her head in disappointment. "Come on, what does that matter now? Osamu saved her and we're all friends with her again. She may not remember anything that happened before that, but it's okay. Everyone was given another chance."

"You really think I did the right thing?"

"I truly do. Even now, you prove to me that you're a good person, despite the cold exterior. You've been my greatest ally through all of this. Honestly, I never could've worked up the courage to do anything if you weren't in my life. Announcing my condition before everyone, telling my parents about my burial plans...I was able to do it because you gave me that strength. You all did."

"I still can't believe you chose to stay here. I felt terrible about it. I knew your parents wanted to spend your last days with you. They wanted you to come home.'"

"But I wanted to stay here with you, so we can have conversations like this, Yoko. So we could have our parties and sing our songs. It would've broken my heart even more if I had to deal with my condition and say goodbye to everyone. It was a tough decision to make, but I know in my heart and soul that it was the right decision. My mother was distraught, but she understood very well. She gave me her blessing to choose where I wanted to die, and I chose to die right here with all of you. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"...Even if I call you names like Gaijin?" Yoko asked.

Isabella chuckled. "Name calling? That's just who you are."

"Even if I can be overly possessive?"

"It's as much of a boon as it is a fault."

"...Even if I'm a miserable wreck sometimes, knowing you can't sleep with us anymore?"

"It's even more of a reason to stay here."

Stay here. Those words repeated themselves in a ceaseless echo for Yoko. As her eyes crawled over the melancholic smile of Isabella, she suddenly got a rather reckless idea.

"Hey...what do you say we get out of here?" Yoko asked.

"Out of here? Out of the hospital, you mean?!" Isabella recoiled.

"Heavens, no! To the roof!" Yoko clarified.

"T-the roof? Why?"

"The moon and the stars are out in full force tonight. I want you to see them, Izzy. More importantly, I want to see them together."

"I don’t know, my nurse told me not to go outside—"

"Isabella Bailey. I want to see the stars with you."

Yoko was far too persistent for Isabella to turn away, but not with her usual, bossy tone. Yoko seemed like a desperate child clinging onto the sleeve of a loved one, urging them not to leave her alone. Yoko’s somber voice bore the weight of want within it.

"Ah hell! Screw it! Let’s head up to the roof! We can’t get in trouble for that." Isabella said.

With a small victory jump, Yoko briefly squeaked with joy, instantly grabbing Isabella by the hands. "Thank you! Thank you so much, Izzy! Come on, let’s get you out of that bed!"

"Hang on a second! I need my cane to help me walk!" Isabella said.

"Nonsense, my love. I’ll carry you on my back like last time!" Yoko assured.

With a sigh of concession, Isabella let Yoko have her way. "Lead the way..."

Yoko could tell just from carrying Isabella on her back that she had lost a considerable amount of weight. It was one thing to see such a detail in her thinning arms and legs, but to feel the loss of her weight, it was a certain kind of death in and of itself. The death of youth, vitality, and a reminder that she would continue to waste away, forced to choke her inner agony in front of company.

Despite all of those thoughts stirring in her mind, Yoko was silent as she carried Izzy down the moonlit halls of the hospital. That silence allowed her to hear the soft breaths of Isabella, warmly brushing against her shoulder and neck.

Isabella turned her head towards the right, watching the moon's glow from the windows. "Money can’t buy a stairway to Heaven..."

Yoko didn’t quite understand the meaning of her cryptic whisper. She could only sense Isabella’s exhaustion, as if her very soul had released a great, weary sigh.

The two made it up to the roof, where Yoko let Izzy down to walk on her own. Countless bed sheets were hung up on clotheslines, gently swayed by the nightly winds. Isabella walked all the way to the roof’s frontal railing, catching a glittering view of the city and the star-adorned skies.

"Wow, you weren’t kidding! The moon looks so big tonight!" Isabella sang.

Yoko joined her at the railings, smiling because she was smiling. "Much better than seeing it from your window, right? All the stars in the sky, the moon, the wind!"

"You’re right! I almost forgot how pretty the moon can be! It’s so gentle, you know? It shines, but it doesn’t blind. It’s like a soul floating in the sky!"

"Well, I’m sure if Izanami was here, she’d say the moon was Gekko’s soul or something like that."

"Oh Gekko...I can’t believe a war goddess is terrified of onions...Oh my god!"

"What? What is it?!" Yoko asked.

"Could you imagine if the moon were an onion?!"

Yoko slapped Izzy upside her head with a sigh of relief, followed by a huff of vexation. Isabella bursted into laughter, the kind of laughter that made it hard to breath or stand up straight.

"Don’t scare me like that! I thought something was wrong with you!" Yoko hissed.

"Of course something is wrong with me!" Isabella tittered.

Izzy continued to laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I’m a young girl dying of cancer and I’m hopelessly in love with the strangest people I’ve ever met in my life! I didn’t get to do half of the things I ever wanted to in my life! I won’t have a wedding, or children, or even grandchildren!"

Isabella’s precious laughter ceased, her tears refusing to stop flowing. Her gasps of laughter became mournful crying, exposing a simple truth to Yoko.

"The only thing I’ve accomplished is making enemies out of those who could’ve been my friends, and making my mother and father cry." Isabella sobbed.

The wind forced Izzy’s golden hair to dance and wave, cloaking her tear-soaked face. "It’s just getting worse, Yoko. Everyday is more painful than the last. I take medication to numb the physical pain, but the heartache won’t end. I wake up hoping that God has a plan, that there’s a reason why this happened to me. But at the end of every prayer...I’m just scared. Scared of dying. Scared of fading away. Scared of leaving everyone behind."

"...I’m scared too, Izzy. We all are. I’m angry too." Yoko said. "I’m angry that there will come a day where thinking of you will make me cry. I’m angry that you’re hurting everyday. I won’t be able to celebrate another one of your birthdays. I’m angry your little quirks and annoyances won’t drive me mad anymore. I’m angry about it all, Izzy."

"Lucky... I don’t even have the energy to be angry anymore. But I guess you’re holding all of my anger for me, aren’t you?"

"I don’t know how else I can help you. This is all I can really do. That fact alone is maddening."

"No, Yoko! You’ve helped plenty!"

Yoko suddenly felt Isabella’s arms wrapped around her body as she abruptly hugged Yoko, crying into her shoulder.

"Thank you for everything! Thank you for being my friend." Isabella said.

Returning her gentle embrace, Yoko held on to Isabella as if she could fade away at any second. "You’re still here, right here and now. I know you’re fighting your hardest to stay with us, even for just a little longer."

"I’m getting tired of fighting, Yoko..."

"But you’ll continue anyway, won’t you? It’s in your blood."

Isabella chuckled. "It’s a curse and a blessing."

The wind lapped up once more, drawing their eyes to the moon, their hair forlornly reaching out to it.

"A giant soul in the sky, battered and wounded." Isabella chanted.

"And yet, it still shines." Yoko said.

"The stars are so ancient, too. They’re like our ancestors, and we can still see their light from here."

"Is it true that most of the stars we see now have already died?" Yoko asked.

"Not really, but the stars are mortal like us. They live and they die. Some will fade away, others will explode." Isabella answered.

"So even the stars are mortal."

Isabella hung her head as she continued to wipe her tears away. In silence, Yoko gently took hold of Isabella’s hand, running the bottoms of her left fingers over her nails. She finally understood what Izzy meant earlier. She finally understood the emptiness Isabella felt sometimes. It was as if nothing in her life truly mattered until she realized she was dying. Not the money, the prestige, or whatever petty fights she got into with Yoko in the past. It all felt like time wasted, with no chance to ever get any of it back.

Isabella's grip around the railing tightened. "I wonder if I’ll be allowed into Heaven..."

The two soon came back down from the roof and returned to the room. Isabella moaned as she carefully eased herself back into bed, with Yoko yawning right besides her.

Yoko could only be awed by Izzy's stubbornness, her insistence to stay in Japan, her refusal to let Yoko's faults drive her away. It was a sort of kindness that enraptured her and blessed her before she even realized it. There was so much more Yoko wanted to say, but words and language failed to convey the emotions stirring within her. Her trance of contemplation was broken by Izzy's yawn, prompting Yoko to take a look at the clock on the wall.

"Oh dear, I didn't realize how late it was! I kept you up like a complete idiot!" Yoko said, slapping her palm against her forehead.

"No no, I don't mind. I really, really wanted to see you." Isabella assured. "Just when I started thinking of you, you came. Your presence is just as good of a gift as the picture you managed to get for me."

Rendered speechless, Yoko's hair softly fell towards her wrists as she lowered her head, her cheeks blushing beyond control.

"Can I sleep beside you tonight, like we used to?" Yoko asked.

"Of course you can, if you read me a bedtime story." Isabella said.

Yoko smiled. "Fair enough, you dork. I don't have any books on me, so I'll have to make up a story."

"Yes! That's fine by me! Take it away, Yoko!"

Yoko laid right besides Isabella, the two of them facing each other in bed with their hands gently, lovingly clasped together.

"Once upon a time, there was this really loudmouthed, overly optimistic, food-devouring blonde girl who came to Japan from America. At first, everyone thought she was so astronomically annoying, but also cool because she was a foreigner. Everyone thought that because she was rich, her life was easy. They thought she had everything she could've ever wanted. The truth is, she was a lonely girl, one who craved true love and genuine friendship. No one was able to see through their own wild fabrications of her. People only knew her by the version that existed in their heads."

Isabella, exhausted beyond belief, already began to slip and slide into the land of gentle sleep. Still, Yoko kept on with her story.

"She did end up making a few friends though, and although it took a while, they were able to see past the facade. They were able to see her for who she truly was. They realized that their imaginations were wrong, and that their hatred of her was based on their own falsehoods and biases. The friends all lived together, began laughing and crying together, and got to know each other even better."

Izzy was certainly asleep now. Her grip had weakened, and her breaths grew soft and slowly paced. Yoko caressed her cheeks, closing her eyes as she cuddled with her beneath the covers.

"She became the loudmouthed, overly optimistic, food-devouring blonde girl of the household, with a huge, beautiful smile that hid the heartbreaking cracks in her fragile body. And I'd be lying if if I said, 'And she lived happily ever after...'."

The two friends, bound together by their clasping hands and interwoven hearts, fell asleep in the radiant glow of the moonlight. The story had come to an end, but the girl lived on yet.