Chapter 1:

The Weirdest Entrance Exam in All of Anime History, Part 2

Menards Clash


Jonah began to loose consciousness.

It almost didn’t feel real. The blood pouring from his wounds and mouth, the shock in his back, the numbness that he felt in his stomach, the state that he was in was something that the prideful Jonah could never have imagined being in.

The same man who rarely saw defeat and was declared a combat genius by many of his peers back home was now brutally injured in what felt like half a second. 

By a little girl, at that!

Jonah tried to find a way to make sense out of all of this, but he failed no avail. This can’t be real! He subconsciously coughed up the blood that was stuck in his throat, leaving a painfully sore feeling that made it hard to speak.

The little girl giggled a little while looking at Jonah as if his entire being was lesser than hers. “Short brown hair, roughly 180 cm and glasses. Yep, the description fits! You really are… the prime minister’s son.” She turned her head at an angle with a sinful smile.

Yeah, that’s right. That’s the reason why I’m fighting. Jonah went back to when he was a little kid. 

It was a late afternoon during the summer, he was sitting next to his father on those concrete steps thatlead to the rivers in front of them. “Hey dad, you’re the Prime Minister for Japan, right?” Jonah had a playful voice as he asked. “Yes son, and what of it?” His father responded with a smile on his face. 

“So that means that your bodyguard is the strongest man in Japan, right? Shoto-San told me so in class today.” 

“Well, he told you right! Saitama, who is currently the strongest in Japan, is our bodyguard and will insure we can live in peace and without worry of any danger.” 

Jonah was amazed and began to wonder just how strong this man is and what does it take to become the strongest? His thoughts were interrupted as his dad quickly said, “Oh, we’ll it seems that I have another meeting… again.” 

Jonah let out a sigh, he knew what this meant. The little boy hardly had anytime to hang out with his dad all by himself. “Don’t worry Jonah, I’ll make it back, I promise!” And left to join the bald man waiting in the black car up the hill.

 Jonah wasn’t too mad. “As long as I can see him again and again, it doesn’t really matter how many of those stupid meetings he has. But those old guys are still annoying!” Jonah stuck out his tongue to make fun of them. Suddenly, the young boy had come to a massive revelation. If I become the strongest, would I be able to spend more time with father?

The boy, after this thought, had set his heart on a new goal. He clenched his fist and hit the palm of his hand with it, accompanied by his expression filled with newfound resolve. 

He stared out towards the massive body of water in front of him. “All right, that settles it! I’m going to become the strongest!” That happiness that Jonah had soon was forever lost, as a few weeks later, Jonah’s dad left to go get the milk… and he never came back.

Jonah opened his eyes back up and began to grin with pure rage after his flashback. Despite the abysmal pain in his throat, he still managed to fight it to speak the words that resonated most with his heart. 

“Yeah, that’s right… that’s the reason why I’m fighting… I swore… that I was going to become the strongest so I can find that man and make him pay my child support!!!”

He yelled in a voice that carried the feelings of revenge, as he gritted his teeth he slowly managed to shift himself off the wall that he was stuck to and get back into a weakened, but well formed fighting stance.

His pants were ripped and his jacket was completely torn off, leaving him shirtless. Half of his skin was covered in blood and his left eye was closed to avoid the dripping blood from his forehead to going in his eye. 

Everyone in the crowed was shocked at the sheer level of tenacity shown right before their eyes. They could feel the newfound pressure from the fight down to their bones, as if they were actually in the field themselves.

Suddenly, Jonah’s entire body began to release flashing bursts of purple energy all around him that was bounded by a pitch black. 

His eyes took on a deep purple color that had a sparkling reflection, his irises still remained black. The look in his eyes paralyzed his opponent, and a single question kept repeating in her head. Is this death? 

Jonah then immediately went from standing still to being 10 meters midair in less than a thousand of a second. He did a vertical spin to increase the momentum of the slam and shifted the position of his legs to perform a kick with his right leg pointed downwards. 

Jonah then whispered in the same tone that the girl had when she attacked him, but this time, he spoke the name of a move that was one hundred times more deadly than the one she used.

“Lean Style: Loli Annihilation”

As his right foot delivered an overwhelmingly powerful kick, there were flashes of the ominous purple and black energy from the point of impact that looked light strikes of lightning.

The girl crossed her arms above her and guarded with all of the strength she could muster. “Damn it, I, Matsubara Kameko, will never loose to a baka like him!” 

The colliding forces caused the ground to slowly crack from where they were outwards and caused a sonic boom across the arena. 

Kameko eventually loosed her structure and her guard broke, allowing the kick to go even further and land directly on her head. 

She had realized that her defeat already had arrived, and she accepted fate with open arms with a solemn smile on her face. “I guess we can’t meet right now, onee-san” 

As the entire arena was completely quiet,  the referee promptly was the first to speak the words, “Jonah from Tokyo, Japan is the winner of this round!” 

He had won, he lowered his bloody arms and shouted up towards the celling. Suddenly, the entire crowd roared in unison. 

However, one person separated his applause due to the sheer level of the noise he was generating. “Clap… Clap… Clap” A mysterious figure then appeared, the lack of light in his direction made it impossible to see him clearly. 

He smiled with a grim look to his face. “My next opponent sure was interesting.”

The clap of his fat asscheeks was the reason for the loud boom that shook the arena, and Jonah realized that his next opponent was going to be even stronger than the last.

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