The Final Day, and...

The clock read an hour after midnight.

Tonight, it was just me and Makoto in her apartment. In her room. Alone, with all the lights off.

Except for the old flatscreen she had, radiating its light from the menu screen of some anime RPG we’d been playing for a bit.

Makoto was leaning on my shoulder, having just fallen asleep after a long bout of gaming. I held an old PS3 controller in my other hand. We’d spent the last five or so hours playing a mix of fighting games and strange co-op multiplayer ones, most of them sequels or spin-offs of the games we used to play together when we were younger.

She hadn’t lost her touch in any of them, though I will still proudly say I won against her more than she did to me.

For the record, no unscrupulous activities were held in this venue.

Makoto and I had not shared any intimate contact. I had no intention, and I bet neither did she. It was all a big nostalgia trip to revisit a time between us that once was, but no longer.

Her sleeping face. The dark room with only the light from the TV flashing in my face. It was an all too familiar sight. And at this rate, I was going to miss it for the rest of my life.

I’d no confidence that I would see her again after this week.

Experiencing this moment was like looking into an old, faded photograph—happy yet melancholic for a moment that once was and will never be again.

I stared at the screen showing a simple menu with a row of four character portraits making a striking pose at me, while their health, magic, and experience points neatly listed themselves below the portraits.

An upbeat tune played out from the old flatscreen’s speakers in a low, almost indiscernible volume. Beside the screen was a stack of other games for her old PS3.

I shifted slightly to make sure Makoto’s head didn’t slide off my shoulder. Her body was warm, and her soap smelt gentle and pleasant.

On the other hand, I was sure that my body was cold.

Cold as ice.

I could no longer feel the presence of that spirit on her. That accursed nure-onna no longer lingered over her shoulder.

Because it lived on mine now.

The yokai fettered itself to me.

For these past hours since the train ride, the yokai spoke sweet nothings and devil’s whispers into my ear.

“Won’t you make this pain disappear?”

“Don’t you want to see Makoto again after this?”

It kept tempting me with promises of a quick reunion with Makoto. It swore that it would give me the strength to make my dreams come true.

It said it would give both Makoto and I the means to achieve them.

“Talent.”

Its conditions were simple.

Only offer it our life force every now and then, and our fortunes are all but assured.

I considered the choice in my head, but had not replied to this creature even once.

But now that the day had fallen silent, I could ignore it no longer.

The way the nure-onna coiled its tail around my arm, nesting its body around my neck. The creature was weightless like air, yet it felt heavy and overwhelming. Is this what Makoto felt, carrying this thing throughout her daily life?

In the first place, I wondered why the creature suddenly decided to leave Makoto and latch on to me.

Did it think I was a weak link it could take advantage of?

Did my subconscious want to make a contract with her?

Or maybe, did Makoto want me to speak with the nure-onna?

I felt my eyes grow heavy. The grip on my controller started to weaken, and my head began to sway from side to side. A wave of drowsiness washed over me, as my consciousness began to fade.

I wasn’t tired, but I was falling asleep.

I rested my head on Makoto’s, as my mind fell into a deep slumber.

Must be—the yokai.

***

When you begin to dream, you really can’t recall when it all started, or how you got to where you were, right?

It was the same for me.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself surrounded by stacks of cardboard boxes, and living room furniture.

I was in Makoto’s living room.

Sitting on a coach between boxes was Makoto herself, her head bowed and dressed in that near Miki cosplay I’ve seen her in most of the trip.

Something felt off about her.

She raised her hand, and looked at me with a big grin.

Right, this wasn’t precisely Makoto.

I was facing Miki. Or rather, the spirit playing up Miki Starsky.

“Heya, Hoshigumi! Miss me?”

“Hardly.”

Makoto, nay, Miki greeted me with that usual pep from her streams. An oddly enthusiastic welcome considering how solemn and quiet the rest of this dream was.

“Go on, make yourself at home!” she said, pointing to an identical couch that just appeared out of nowhere behind me.

I obliged and took a seat.

The coach was soft, comforting, but was as cold as ice. This strange dreamlike place was deathly cold—deprived of any warmth, yet I didn’t feel like I was chilly or freezing at all.

“What is this place?” I asked.

“Where else? You and Makoto are now in a shared dream within each other’s heads!”

I tapped my knee, wondering the circumstances.

“Okay then. So where’s Makoto, Miki?”

Miki tapped her chest, pointing to herself. “You’re talking to her now, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?

Last I recall, Makoto was the spectator in your little act a few days ago. I wanna talk to her.”

Miki leaned back and swung her legs back and forth. “You are talking to her, silly.”

“Come on, can I just—”

“Whatever you have to say to her, you can say to me.”

I sighed and leaned back on the couch, retreating into myself.

Miki continued, “I’m Makoto, too, if you haven’t figured that out yet.”

I couldn’t put too much faith in her words, but I was in Miki’s turf right now. Or, if I were to trut her, Makoto was in total control right, but chose to talk with me through her alter ego.

“Fine. Then I’ll start.

You brought me here for a reason. And your snake friend started haunting me. What gives?”

“Oh, that? It’s simple, really. Makoto, somewhere deep inside, wanted you to make a contract.”

“A contract? Me? Subconsciously?”

Miki hopped from her seat and paced around the floor. Her footsteps were wet, and wherever she went, the floor rippled as if it were shallow water.

“Whenever Miki’s too scared to do anything, she lets the spirit do the piloting. It just so happens that her V-tuber persona was a lot more courageous than her regular self. So here I am.”

“So I’m talking to the snake, then?”

“Miki isn’t the snake. I’m just a state of mind born from the snake.”

I scratched my head in confusion. “I don’t get it.”

“Just trust me.”

Miki went up to me and stretched her hand out.

“Why don’t we walk?”

I accepted.

I took her hand and pulled myself up with it. As soon as my feet touched the floor, I felt a wobbly sensation. My shoes were wet as I walked on what felt like pure water.

Little did I realize that the walls around me had already faded into a white nothingness, leaving only the seats and boxes to float in a gray, watery void.

Miki walked forward into seeming nothingness, with me following closely behind.

From the water, bubbles sprang up and floated around us. Reflected in the bubbles were images of Makoto engaging in various acts—like photos from a scrapbook.

“Photos are pretty neat, aren’t they?” said Miki. “You can capture a memory in a physical object. You look at it, and it’s like time traveling to that moment.”

Miki walked up to a bubble with an image of Makoto playing her guitar in the streets of Ueno Park to a meager crowd.

“She really tried her best, you know? She didn’t give up even after failing so many times… but everyone has their limits.

When she came to the shrine, the snake felt her emotions. I’d go so far as to say she pitied Makoto.”

“Pitied?”

“Yokai are beings with emotions, too. They can feel the same emotions as humans. The only thing they don’t share is the fear of death and sickness.”

I approached Miki and looked up to the bubble of memory too.

“You’re talking like you know. You sure I’m talking to Makoto and not the snake?”

Miki walked past me and went back to a path between the hundreds of bubble memories floating around us.

“Does it matter, anyway? Here, we see and hear what each other sees and hears. And we share our thoughts, too.”

A fair concession.

Whatever Miki was saying, hearing, and thinking was shared among her, Makoto, and the snake spirit.

It was a difficult concept to grasp—essentially having three separate entities in your head that aren’t mutual existences but all parts of one whole.

All I could do was take her word for it.

“So, about the contract.”

Miki turned around and faced me.

“The contract,” she said. “The spirit is thinking of giving you a contract like Makoto’s, too.”

“Why? What made her think I’d want to?”

“She peered into your head. And she said you were pretty bummed out with the whole late bloomer thing.”

I stared at her silently. How does she know that? It made me question who I was talking to and even more her motives.

Yes, I was always troubled by my thoughts.

Yes, I was always troubled by the fact I had not developed any meaningful skills in my life.

But how much had she seen? And how much of that had she imparted on Makoto?

Was she even Makoto?

“So you know,” I said, gritting my teeth. “How much did you look into my head?”

“Just enough.”

I stomped forward, the foot creating a powerful ripple on the watery ground.

“Does Makoto know this?”

“Not yet.”

“Not yet? Who are you, really? Step aside, I want to talk to Makoto.”

“As I said, she’s—”

“Give me Makoto!!” I shouted.

My words echoed throughout the void. Miki stopped in her tracks and looked at me, looking troubled and apologetic.

“I’m sorry…

This was Makoto’s idea. She told me to do this for her, because she doesn’t have the heart to say it herself. But again, we’re still almost one and the same. What I say here, is not too far from what she would.”

She twiddled her index fingers together in nervousness. “So please. Bear with me. Bear with Makoto.”

I stepped back, giving Miki some room.

“Sorry. I’ll hear it, then.”

Miki led me to another memory bubble: one that depicted a scene from long ago, of her playing the guitar in our old school while I stood and watched.

“Ever since she moved out, she’s always felt like she was missing something in her life. Though she was happier in Japan, a good and quality life can’t fill an empty heart.”

“It was me, wasn’t it?”

Miki tried to evade my question. “She wanted to be promised to. For all the tough girl acts she’s been putting on, Makoto wanted someone like you to say those words: that you’ll meet her again.”

I turned away, hiding my bewilderment and frustration.

“I don’t get it. Why me? I’ve got nothing special going for me. No talents, no special skills. Hell, I didn’t even have any of that before I lost my shit in college. I’m not even good-looking.

Why’d she get all hung up on me? Made a deal for her life just to sing for me?”

Miki chuckled. “You’re so stupid. It’s just like Makoto said, huh?”

“What?”

“Hoshigumi. Haven’t you thought that just you being there was enough for her?”

“...How can that be? She deserves better than me. A better guy would make her happier than I ever could. I’m… I’m pretty much a genetic dead-end.”

Miki strutted towards me, her footsteps splashing the water all around her and at me.

She slapped me quickly and unexpectedly. I recoiled and threw my face to the side. A searing pain emerged from my cheeks, redding from the soreness.

“Stop it!” she shouted.

I held my hand up to my cheek, feeling the reality of it all. Even though I was in a dream, I could feel every painful sensation of that sudden hit.

“I—”

“Don’t say that…” she said. “Makoto wanted Miki to inspire people to have more confidence in themselves. You loved watching Miki do her thing, right? You even superchatted about it.”

She shook her head, holding her tears back. Miki looked straight into my eyes, her own had begun to water and tear up.

“That was what Makoto wanted from Miki—especially from you. She burned her life for it, so please… don’t take that away from her. Miki’s role meant something to her.

You mean something to her.”

…

Miki was right.

When I said that, all I did was think of myself. I had become so consumed in my own self-pity that I almost threw away her reason for being.

Even someone like Jougasaki became my friend. There must have been something he saw in me.

Or rather, people really didn’t need to ‘see anything’.

“Haven’t you thought that just you being there was enough?”

That implied that my mere existence justified itself.

I was in no place to judge that. It wasn’t in my place to say that my existence was justified. But on the other hand, it wasn’t my place to say that my existence wasn’t worth anything, either.

Makoto saw worth in it. Jougasaki saw it, too.

And of course, Senpai, of all people, thought the same.

I was embarrassing them. And I was putting the memory of Senpai to shame, too.

I bowed my head in shame. Miki stepped back, her expression matching Makoto’s serious and determined look. At that moment, I was convinced that Makoto and Miki were truly inseparable entities.

I stood there, silently, listening to what else Miki had to say.

“That’s why you’re here, Hoshigumi.”

She held out her hand, as she conjured a small, blue orb from it. It glowed a faint light, its inner core being a void-like darkness.

“This goes way against the spirit’s nature. But this is something Makoto wanted.”

Miki approached me again, holding the blue orb. She held up both my hands, and placed that same orb on them.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Think of it as a solid form of the contract.” Miki said. “She wants to give you a choice.”

“A choice…?”

“Yeah,” Miki said, stepping back. “She’s entrusting the contract to you.”

“What… does she want me to do?”

Miki smiled at me, sincerely and sweetly.

“Whatever you want to do.

She wanted you to take the same contract so that you can be together in a perfect life. It would be shorter, but it would be happy, and everything would go exactly like you want it to.

Or you can leave it, and go back to your everyday lives, hoping your fortunes would align one day and you’d meet again.

…Or, you can break the contract, and end it for her. You both go back to your normal lives, without the spirit’s assistance. But bear in mind what doing this means for Makoto.”

I recoiled in shock, almost skidding from my watery, slippery steps.

Was she serious? The choice to end her contract? Was Makoto and the spirit serious about letting me choose to just… end it all?

What were the ramifications of this? What would happen to Makoto? And did I even have the right to make the choice for her?

“Why?” I said. “Why’d she give me the choice?”

Miki shook her head and shrugged. “I don’t know. Humans are really illogical, aren’t they?”

I looked at her shiftily, trying to mock her.

“Boo. I thought yokai and humans shared emotions.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s all tied back to the fear of death.”

“Tch.” I clicked my tongue. “Be that way.”

I stared at the blue orb in my hands. To think I was just given the power to make such a powerful decision for Makoto.

It was unfathomable.

To be given a choice. To not leave things to luck or be swept in a current and simply swim in its direction.

Just take the chance.

I couldn’t do that now.

I had to make a choice. Not for me, but for the life of somebody else. The life of somebody important, who thought I, too, was important enough to choose for her.

Miki hopped to grab my attention. The hundreds of bubbles sank back into the ground, disappearing from sight.

“Either way, time’s up for me.”

“What?”

“You’ll have to decide that on your own.” Miki said. “When you’re ready to make the choice, light that last incense you still have. And do it in front of Makoto’s PC.”

The white and gray void around me began to fade, and so did Miki begin to fragment like dust in the wind.

“Wait, Miki!” I shouted in desperation. “Whatever I choose, will I still see you again?”

No matter what choice I would make, I still wanted to see Miki as herself. Miki, the Vtuber, has been such an enriching part of my current life that I didn’t want to see her existence go up in smoke when I made my decision.

All she could answer as she faded away was:

“That all depends on Makoto.”

***

The dream had ended.

I snapped awake in my previous state, Makoto still leaning against my shoulder, and the monitor flashing its bright light straight at me.

I wasn’t holding the blue orb Miki gave me anymore, making me wonder if any of what I saw was real.

I shot Makoto a tender smile as I stroked her hair gently. It was dumb, of course. Makoto couldn’t see me smiling at her—She was asleep after all.

I carried Makoto to her bed and settled her down. She didn’t even react to anything—she was sleeping like a log.

I looked to my side, and a light flashed at me. Makoto’s PC mysteriously turned itself on, displaying a single open folder that simply said contract.

It was a surreal sight. Yokai can influence technology now? And what a flair for the dramatic it had, labeling itself as a file in a computer. At that point, I couldn’t tell if what I was seeing was real, a dream, or some sort of illusion the yokai was pulling off.

Either way, I feel like the spirit was finally calling to me.

Time to make a decision.

I sat in front of the monitor, eyeing the funky little blue orb icon labeled contract.exe. I’d no idea, again, what to do with it.

…

But can I really make that decision?

It would be such an easy choice if I only had myself to consider. But to think that Makoto would push a decision for her to me was… unthinkable. Difficult. It was suffocating for a guy who’s only had to go with the flow his entire life.

I kept staring and staring at the screen’s dreary low light. Contract.exe. I just knew that if I opened the file, it would sign up me for the yokai’s wild ride and wrap me in her clutches.

Alternatively, I could just shut this PC down and leave it. Just walk away and let things be as they already are.

Or, perhaps…

Makoto…

***
***

I think I get it.

I’m beginning to get why it was me you had choose, Makoto.

You’re tired, aren’t you?

You wished for a life where you could become who you wanted to be. To do something you wanted to do. To not become a cog in the machine of society.

But that’s not what happened, right?

You sacrificed a potential future so that you could live today, and so that I’d hear your song, and I’d come to you eventually. You played the game of society and clout just so you’d make something of yourself.

Seriously. How silly could you be to think I’d come running the moment I heard your guitar chords under the mask of Miki?

I’m dense as all hell. I didn’t even recognize Miki’s voice or your music as yours.

It didn’t work out as you intended.

It didn’t even work out today.

Because all it did was make me worry. I scolded you for making such a dumb choice for my sake.

I get it, though.

You don’t have to blame yourself. You only have me to blame.

It was my cowardice many years ago that caused this. I couldn’t face you on the day of your departure, and I left you to make a promise to yourself without the guy you’re promising you.

It was a doomed effort that I made you choose.

That’s right. I get it now.

I made you choose back then.

So now it was your turn to make me choose.

And you trusted me to make the right choice?

Damn it.

You went through all that pain and sacrifice to fulfill a wish you had since that day—and I was none the wiser to all of it.

If only you could hear me now, I’d ask you so many questions.

Wasn’t being Miki fun?

Was I the only reason Miki came into existence?

Didn’t you become greater than what you envisioned yourself to be?

And… what came to your mind when we finally met again, after all these years?

Were all those times of you trying to get back on your feet worth it? Was the contract worth it?

I can’t read your mind. I can only assume.

But it was the same for you, wasn’t it?

You could only imagine what was going through my head.

You must have wondered why I didn’t show up when you left.

You had every reason to hate me, and yet you didn’t. You even went so far as to cast a signal into the darkness, in the bleak hope I’d answer.

It was because I was there, wasn’t it?

It wasn’t that you were desperate to find someone to cling to. Hell, I don’t even know if you were actually in love with me, or just saw me as your most important friend—almost like family.

You just wanted to live a life with someone who’s been so important to you.

You’re all bloodied and bruised in all your struggles, and here I was wallowing in my self-pity.

Pathetic, right?

It was. But you wouldn’t hear any of it.

Your promise to yourself was important.

It’s just as Senpai said.

“Yeah, but… a promise is a contract. Because you’re not supposed to break promises. A dream is good, but you can forget a dream, even neglect it. But when you promise your dream to someone, you give that dream accountability. When you don’t chase that dream, you break that promise.”

It didn’t have to be with me. You swore to yourself. But it wasn’t enough, was it?

I’m the same, too, Makoto.

But at least you made the promise. I haven’t promised anything in my life, not even to the most important people in my life. Not even to you—the girl I loved back then. The girl I ran away from.

That’s why, to atone, it was only fair that I’d join you. Make the contract to the nure-onna, and grant your wish. Live a perfect life, even if it was shorter than others.

A life where everything goes as we planned.

I owe it to you, and to myself.

It was the only way for someone whose life was over, to start a new life— together with the person they always wanted to be with.

I wanted to press Contract.exe.

So with that, I lit the final incense, and made my decision…

…Makoto.

…

Oh, really? Is that how it is?
Okay then, buddy. You up for a question and answer segment?
It’s a very important question, so I want an answer.

“My life was practically over.”

Let’s forget Makoto for a second.

This contract could be a dream come true for you.

You were tired of being called a late bloomer. You knew people wanted to call you a talentless hack. You had it define you. Mold you to who you are. You were sick of it. You’ve had enough.

It was a miserable experience. And now you have an opportunity.

Just take the chance.

That was your motto in life.

But wasn’t it high time to take control back into your life?

Don’t you want to grab life by the balls and shape it into whatever form you desired?

Living long and living forever is overrated anyway. You only have one life; you might as well act like it’s your last day on earth. Live to the fullest, seize the day. Become who you want to be, right?

Makoto being your partner in a contract was the perfect icing on the cake. Imagine being your partner in crime and your lover under one contract.

Many people would die to be in your position.

In your words:
Just take the chance.
Right?

“I’ve never made a promise like that.”

Now you can make that promise.

Together with Makoto, you could swear to her a fulfilling life, together with you.

You can redeem yourself at last.

You ran away on the day of her departure and forced her to make a promise to herself to see you again.

Now that you’re here, you’re gonna pretend you don’t want to live a better life with her by your side?

Bullshit.

You felt awful about leaving her in the dust. And now you don’t have to; you’ve the power to change your life for the better.

She’s already sacrificed and suffered so much.

You owe it to her to make both your dreams come true.

No more wallowing in self-pity and going into doubts of despair and depression.

You’re the missing piece in her life, so much as you are to her.

Senpai would’ve wanted happiness for you, too.

Think about it.

The only struggle both of you would have to deal with it is the struggle upward. No more drowning in a mire of problems to keep both of you down. It’s a liberating feeling.

And that’s why I’m dying to ask you.
Explain this.

Why’d you do it?

Why’d you delete the Contract, huh?

The one gift Makoto could’ve given you. Your ticket to a life of love, comfort, and greatness. The key to ending your boundless misery. I wasn’t exaggerating, either—you thought this was gonna be the end of it.

You deliberately shift-deleted that file out of existence.

Even after Makoto did everything she could to make life better for both of you, you had to cast it aside.

Why’d you do it, man?

Weren’t you the one complaining about how your life sucked? About how much you weren’t in control?

You were always crying about how miserable you were.

If that’s the case, who cares about all this?

When your dreams come true, imagine the smiles that both of you would share.

If you told a stupid joke, she’d hit you a little, then laugh.

And then she’d make that big ‘ol blush you love about her.

And as your days passed, she’d reopen her heart to you. It would be like before, but even better. A newer, greater love would boom between you.

You’ll never know. It could have been like that.

Something real. Something genuine.

Didn’t you fight for Senpai’s smile, too?

Isn’t it the same for Makoto, too? Don’t you want to see her smile, too?

You could have taken the damn contract.

And if you didn’t want it, you could’ve just left it the way it was.

But no, you had to break the entire thing for you and for Makoto, too, by destroying the contract.

Why is that?

Alright. Quiz time is over.
Answer the question!

Don’t tell me you think her life is not worth the contract?
That you’d rather suffer that long journey upwards than take the surest way into her heart?
That you’ll do everything in your power to make Makoto happy, even without the contract?

Of course.

Of course, I will.

I’m tired of being told what to do.

You really think I can’t do it?

I’ll might never have the courage to push myself beyond my limits. But, if it’s to see Makoto’s smile, I’ll put myself out there.

Senpai believed in me—And Makoto trusted me with that choice, too. It’s so obvious.

So they value me over your goddamn words.

So get out of my head. And don’t you dare ask me again.

I’ll do it.

Stop asking me questions… that are so obvious!

I’ll answer even if you ask me ten, twenty, a hundred, a thousand times. It’ll be the same.

I know my life isn’t over.

The fact is, if I’m right here, then I’m still alive. And as long as I draw breath, then it isn’t over.

I’ll make it happen. I’ll make Makoto happy.

Even without your contract. Without the blood price. I’ll do it as myself, and Makoto will manage just fine.

Why don’t you have more faith in her?

You’d have to be stupid, and tenfold more dense than I and Makoto combined not to realize just how strong she really was.

Because I will.

…

Before I realized it, my vision had begun to blur. A blinding white light had swallowed me whole. It felt like I was the light was carrying me to a destination unknown.

What exactly… was going on?