An Experimental Collection of The Absurd
Hello there, this is the author speaking. Yes, yes—me the author. Now, you may be sitting there holding your finger ready to skip to the next chapter—however! This is important to the lore of this entire collection.
Why did I not include that in the author’s notes or something? Well, that would ruin the surprise.
It’s also plot convenience.
That aside, to all you Fate fans—do not skip this. To all you JRPG fans, do not skip this. To all you visual novel fans, I don’t need to tell you; if there were a TOS to this novel you would read it and take every dialogue option. And just a warning before you think about taking this approach, you will not unlock a new game+ and you will not be treated to a new ending. However, on a completely unrelated note—
THE EVENTS AND CHARACTERS DEPICTED IN THIS WEBNOVEL ARE FICTITIOUS. ANY SIMILARITIES TO ACTUAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD, IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE: SHOCK, FEAR, ANGER, CONFUSION, DÉJÀ VU, SUFFOCATION FROM ANYTHING OTHER THAN LAUGHTER, NAUSEA, HEADACHES, BOREDOM, TERROR, DÉJÀ VU; AS WELL AS, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, A MINOR CASE OF DEATH.
HYDRATION IS NOT AUTOMATIC; THE READER WILL REQUIRE TO MANUALLY HYDRATE THROUGHOUT THE DAY USING METHODS SUCH AS: WATER.
THEY WILL ALSO REQUIRE FOOD. THIS RESOURCE IS ESSENTIAL TO ALL LIVING ORGANISMS. WITHOUT IT, SEE SIDE EFFECTS ON PAGE 1204 OF THIS TEXT.
IF YOU FIND THAT YOU SEEK RELIGION, DO NOT LOOK HERE. THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU WITH THAT.
FOR ANY FURTHER INFORMATION OR QUERIES, PLEASE SEE THE LIST OF QUOTES AT THE END OF THIS TEXT.
Now that we have that out of the way, I would like to start to say the following:
This webnovel is a collection of written works. Many of these will be either bad, terrible, painfully average or borderline offensive. In other examples, all four of these factors could be present; although, I wouldn’t exactly know how true this is because I haven’t even written them yet. However! Disregarding that, prepare for the weird, the strange and the undeniably absurd. Especially the latter. Latter three I mean; they’re all synonyms of each other, what else do you expect?
Anyways, the lore to this anthology is simple: think Fate but multiply it by calculus. Simple right? Of course not. Since when is multiplication simple? Never. Not once. 1+1? Irrelevant: that’s addition. 1X2? What is this an exam? Then again, there are a lot of questions in this paragraph aren’t there?
Oh, right. Lore.
So, it all began at a time when stupidity was normalised—which was never. This story is fictitious, remember? You did read the disclaimers, right? If not, good luck. You’ll need it.
“Nobody asked.” — not flameball918