The Boy Sets up a Character Sheet for Him and his Dog - (Fourth_Surprises)

:: Dear Diary..... The city life in this place is very rough. I always expected it to be cramped, but I never knew it would also come with this awkward smell. It is like the air couldn’t decide whether to carry the scent of fresh bread, heavenly spices, exotic women’s perfume, or men refusing to shower after months. I almost vomited one time, but you won’t tell anyone about it, right? Of course not. In the end, I have completed the first step in my journey. I’ve signed my name into the Adventuring Registry, I am now an official Adventurer. Praise me! ::

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[------------------- OPEN CHARACTER SHEET-----]
<< Pastrache Mooneye — Level 1. >>
<< Class: (OPEN AT LEVEL 5) >>
<< ATK: 5 --- DEF: 6 --- SPD: 10 >>
<< Major Skills: Professional Negotiator Lv 1; Housewife Lv. 1>>
<< Latest Achievement: Rising Hero (Register to a major Adventuring Guild) >>
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“Look at this Nello! Isn’t my Character Card very fancy? Praise me!♥”

“Uwoooooh! B-Big Sis is a Legendary Hero now! Oooh!! I-it even had this rainbow shine to it!”

Pastrache was happy today. 

Not only did she get a new bodyguard—Er, tank friend, she acquired herself a full fledged Adventuring License! Now she can kill any monster she wanted and get paid for it! Oh joy! 

Also, as she was the 150th Registry in the Guild, she was given a special Prism-hue to her ethereal screen. To show how proud of her luck she was, she kept opening and closing her character screen card in front of the tank, as if playing with magical fireworks to celebrate this splendid occasion.

“Fu-fu-fu. Isn’t it pretty Nello? Now everyone will think I’m a super top-dog warrior in the guild, even when I’m a Level 1 rookie!”

“Oooooh! Th-that’s amazing Big Sis! You’re really a cool hero now! Hey, hey, how can you open that pretty screen? I want to try! I want to try!”

“Sure! Just wave your hand!”

The Soviet T-34's 3 meter long 76 mm M1940 F-34 tank gun waved up and down...

“…………………………….. Um... Nothing's showing up like you Big Sis. D-did I wave the right way??”

“…………………………….................................”

Somehow, that simple action dawned a sense of realization to the Half-Elf Girl. 

Tanks don't have hands. She felt stupid for even suggesting that.

“Cr*p... I didn't think this through...Wait. Wait! I-I think I’m recalling something from the nice lady with glasses who works as the guild clerk...what was it…Um…Oh right. O-Open Sesame!”

The original command phrase was ‘Open Status’ or ‘Open Character Card’. Maybe it sounded creative and fancy at the same time compared to the usual method, let’s just accept that.

A mystical holographic screen carrying Nello's information revealed itself to him.

“OH! SOMETHING POPPED OPEN IN FRONT OF ME, BIG SIS!................ but, I can’t read it… I think it’s in English...or Japanese, I don't know.”

“Oh? You don’t know how to read Common?”

“… I can only read Russian.”

“……………………………………………………..”

Pastrache didn’t know what language was that. If she thought about the markings she found inside of Nello’s belly, then that could be it. Either way, she had no clue what the language could be translated to.

“… H-here. I’ll read it for you.”

The Half-Elf reached out her hand, guiding Nello's Character Screen to her eyes. Unfortunately, she is not the original person who holds this private information, so everything is censored with pixelated images (#NotR-Rated).

"...Oh right. I don't have authorization to see your data... Hmm, I think the lady with glasses also showed me something in case my party member was wounded and unconscious and I have to check if he is allergic to any herbs if we treat him...One second, I'll use the override command she taught me."

".... O...Okay—Guugh!! Th-that tickles, B-Big Sis! E-even when y-you're not really putting your h-hand on my tummy!"

Pastrache flicked her finger, to pull down something like a cover of a sliding window. An actual holographic window slide down from thin air and she swiped her palms to bring out what looked like a floating keyboard made of magic runes in front of her.

She started to input the command text she learned from the guild clerk lady, touching symbols and strange figures that made up the keyboard. Several smaller windows scrolling tons of data in a rapid crescent like a waterfall of words. Her eyes could be seen darting from one screen to another.

Like a computer programmer from action movies.

Normally, even this form of high level hacking could not access confidential information via the Divine Gods and Goddess' Ethereal Net Drive, not without consent... Well since Nello the tank didn’t have any way of checking his own status, that sounded like consent to her.

Legally, she's okay...Sssssssh.

“Hmmm…B-Big Sis is… t-touching in weird places—Aaahn.”

“Sssssssh. Nello. Keep quiet, I’m trying to focus.”

At this point in time, the Half-Elf Girl was struggling to bring up the right overriding command keys in order to gain access to her party member’s private partitioned data. As she pressed the different numbers on the holographic console, the barrel of the T-34 Soviet Tank kept fidgeting left and right.

“I…I can’t…aaah. B-Big Sis, n-no not there!”

“There! I’ve finally finished with the configurations. I now have full access to your information, Nello!”

“Oh thank the Tsar! Y-you’re done!”

The T-34 Tank let out the sound that resembled a young boy sighing from a dangerous situation. It turned its turret head as to look at the Half-Elf, lowing it’s barrel to look at what the girl was reading before her face.

“…..............Nello. Your nose is blocking my eyes. I can’t read your Character Card.”

“A-ah. Sorry Big Sis.”

Realizing his folly, the Soviet tank quickly turned the angle of its barrel up to the sky. It might not be able to see, but at least he didn’t have to worry about hitting Pastrache any more across her fragile head.

“What do you see, Big Sis? Is it really bad? I guess that’s true, I was put into battle right after the mechanics put the last rivet into my body. The German Tanks were invading Stalingard really hard and the Red Army needed everyone on the field. I guess my Character Card looks ugly because I didn't last five days after I was deployed.”

“……………………………………………………………………………………………………”

“…B-Big Sis? Is it that bad? I’m sorry. I tried to fight the German Tiger Tanks, but they’re really tough. I shoot one in the face six times and nothing would happen. She even ripped my legs off with only one shot! It wasn’t a fair fight!”

“…………………………………………………………………………………………………….”

Pastrache had this look on her face that was very difficult to read. It was a mixture of astonishment, bewilderment, with a dash of confusion painted across her face. The expression she made was equivalent to a painting made by the hands of Rembrandt himself.

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[------------------- OPEN CHARACTER SHEET-----]
<< T-34-85 Soviet Battle Tank 'NELLO'  —— Level 50. >>
<< Class: ERROR_UNIDENTIFIED >>
<< ATK: 980 — DEF: 999 — SPD: 100 >>
<< Major Skills: Combat Tank Lv. 99; Armor Piercing Lv. 30; Armored Fighting Lv. 70 >>
<< Latest Achievement: The Order of the Red Star (In Defense of Stalingrad) >>

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“…………………………………………………………………………………………………..Auuah.”

“…How is it Big Sis? It’s really that that bad huh?”

“……….It’s alright, Nello. E... everyone starts at level one here. So we’ll… we'll work hard together to reach the top... Okay?”

“Nn. I understand. I’ll do my best and make you real proud of me Big Sis!”

That portrait of a certain Half-Elf Maiden, also had a hint of jealous brushed across her eyes and brow. Realizing how important her relationship with a talking tank was, she left the conversation on that flat note.

“Come on, let’s… get something to eat. Yes.”

“…But Big Sis…I don’t have a mouth. A-and I need gasoline to run my engines.”

“(Ratfink Showoff *mutter mutter*)”

“H-heh? D-did you say something. I couldn’t hear you.”

“I feel bad for Nello. That’s what I said.”

“Uwaaaah. Big Sis is so kind to me.”

Indeed, the Half-Elf Girl left the conversation there… to save face.