Chapter 7:

Being a Heroine Is Great, Kicking Makes your Thighs Nicer♥ -- (7th_Hunger)


:: Dear Diary..... I realized I made a big mistake. I haven’t eaten or drank anything since I traveled all the way from home to the city. I did have the occasional biscuits my mother had prepared, but maybe I was too scared of another pack of wolves wanting me to bear their children, I had lost my appetite. Now, my status reads I’m suffering from Extreme Hunger and Dehydration. My wounds won’t heal over time, and if my water levels drop to zero, I might pass out and die. I can’t have that, I really don’t want to leave poor Nello behind in this cruel world. ::Bookmark here

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bookmark here

“G-gguuughgg! B-Big Sis is really heavyyyyyyy!”Bookmark here

“S-stop complaining, Nello! You were able to run over a pack of 6 Dire Wolves, three Orcs, and a pile of Goblins without a second thought! S-so you don’t have the right to question a girl’s body mass!”Bookmark here

Under the bright and warm sun, spotless from meandering clouds, there was a Half-Elf Girl trying to grab some fruit from a tree. Bookmark here

It was impossible, really, because the tree in itself was about 7 meters high. The lowest branch available were at 5 meters height.Bookmark here

Despite the fact she was a Half-Elf and was taller than an average human, she was still 5 foot 8 inches (1.7 meters). She would not be able to reach it the same way as grabbing a jar of cookie from the top shelf. Not even if she stood on her tippy toes. There was still a 3.3 meter gap. So she cooked up a plan. This involved borrowing the shoulders of her friend in her party.Bookmark here

Or rather, his iron nose.Bookmark here

“Nuwooooh! B-Big Sis! Y-your butt is clenching my face! I-it feels weird!”Bookmark here

“S-stop making remarks to my @ss! I-it’s not that big, not compared to my mother that is! N-now stop talking and raise me up higher. Come on, Nello! You can do it! Lift me higher!”Bookmark here

“I-I’m trying, b-but I can’t see if your thighs keep blocking my eyyyyyyes!”Bookmark here

The T-34 Soviet Tank was Pastrache's solution in this problem involving physics and civil engineering. He had a large 76.2 mm F-34 Tank Gun, which was exactly 3 meters in length. As it's essentially capable of shooting 6.5 kg shell at 5 - 10 rounds per minute, it should be capable of lifting a person's body much like the ladders seen on firetrucks.Bookmark here

This wasn't exactly a rescue mission, to get children, seniors, or even kittens out of burning buildings, but the stakes were the same. If Pastrache doesn't get any food or water to sate her decreasing stats, her body function would end up failing, at worst go into shock and she would be paralyzed. Oh yes, and let's not forget about imminent death. Bookmark here

No hero or heroine would want to go out like that, isn't that right?Bookmark here

Hence why the lovely Half-Elf Girl could be seen riding on top of the tank barrel as she tried to reach out to grasp at the fruits in the tree. Her warm blossoming thighs clenching the iron between her legs for stability.Bookmark here

>> You used THIGH SQUEEZE on Nello. It's Super Effective!!
>> Nello's Arousal Level has shot up to 35%!!
>> Congratulations! You Got a New Skill !!
>> --------------------------- Professional Pole Dancer Lv. 1 !!!
Bookmark here


"Aaaaah! B-Big Sis... d-don't g-grip my nose s-so tightly... y-you're legs."Bookmark here

"Ssssh! Nello! I almost had the crabpear! Just keep holding me up and stop fidgeting! Th-the more you shake the more you're nose is hitting me in weird places!"Bookmark here

Plothole. Plothole. Some of you are probably saying - wait the Charles Dickens she can't just climb a tank barrel like that. She'll fall right off! It's not a fireman ladder. People who post videos on the internet would be going 'I've tried it before and it turned into an Epic Fail, sending me to the hospital', or 'scientifically, her body has zero friction and she'll fall right off like snail on a grease pipe'.Bookmark here

The answer to those small questions was simple. Bookmark here

She took this thick stick and tied it to one end of the tank barrel to make a ‘T’ shape. She crisscrossed the wiring she carried on her person, so that it would not easily slip down if the barrel were to even stand up 90 degrees straight. Bookmark here

In other words, she made a compromise chair for her cute and lofty butt to sit on as the T-34 Tank rose her up on the barrel ladder. Even with gravity at play, she would not fall off.Bookmark here

That was S-M-R-T- smart
(f**k, wrong spelling!)Bookmark here

“Nnnng! I-I’m right at the branch level, b-but you need to turn me more to the left.”Bookmark here

“O-oh okay!”Bookmark here

“Wait. Too much! Go back to the right a bit.”Bookmark here

“R-right! Okay!”Bookmark here

“N-Nello! N-not too fast! Th-there is no way I could grab any of the crabpears if you swing me around like a merry go round!! Gently, slowly, like touching a girl’s body.”Bookmark here

“………………………………….”Bookmark here

Other than my body.”Bookmark here

“Um…I…I don’t have hands.”Bookmark here

“J-just turn gent—LYYYY!Bookmark here

“Ah! Sorry, I’m trying by my hydraulics are not listening. A-and I still can’t see where you’re trying to grab!”Bookmark here

“D-don’t move around so-so hard! N-not when I’m sitting on you like—KYAAAAA!”Bookmark here

The T-34 misunderstood the next set of direction, or he pressed the wrong internal button, but the barrel of the tank dropped by 10 inches and stopped suddenly. Bookmark here

That sensation you get when the plane goes into the first stage of turbulence.Bookmark here

“Aaaah…Aaauuhggggg...”Bookmark here

“I-I’m sorry, B-big Sis! I-I didn’t mean to do that. I-I was confused as to whether to go up or to the side.”Bookmark here

“I…it’s fine… pant pant… J-just… just lift me back up, nice and slo—OH GOD♥!”Bookmark here

The Half-Elf gave a squeal when the barrel flipped up. It as at a steep angle, so she had to hug her body close like a cat on a branch. At the same time, the jolt in itself knocked something into Pastrache… particularly, between her legs.

>> WARNING! Your Arousal Level is at 68%
>> Please seek counselling.
Bookmark here

“G...go away s-stupid m-messaging board...Aaahnn...A…Aauuugaag…Wh…what is…this weird feeling? Nnng♥.”Bookmark here

“Hmm? Big Sis? Are you okay? You’re breathing very hard. A-are you scared of heights?”Bookmark here

“N…no. I’m, pant pant. Fine.”Bookmark here

“…You sure?”Bookmark here

“L-let’s hurry and get the crabpears b-before my Hunger S-Status reaches a critical point….H-heh? Wh-why is my Hydration Status falling even lower!?”Bookmark here

“What was that, Big Sis?”Bookmark here

“Up. Raise me—Wait. No, I meant to the right—NYAAAGHHG♥♥♥!”

>> WARNING! Your Arousal Level is at 89%. 
>> Please calm down woman.
Bookmark here

"Wh-why can't I t-turn th-this go-god-forsaken n-notification oooooooffnnnnnnggggg♥!" Bookmark here

The Half-Elf Girl found herself clinging tightly onto the barrel as if a pole, arms and legs wrapped around it intimately. She wasn't trying to show off her newly acquired skill, rather she was doing everything in her power to not fall down from a 4 meter drop. Bookmark here

At this point, she was a cat who couldn't climb back down.Bookmark here

All because the T-34 Soviet Tank accidentally raised the nose of his cannon too high. She was practically balanced at a straight 90 degree angle. Bookmark here

Worse, all of her weight was forced down on her body. Every ounce of her internal organ, her sitting mass, and the clenching of her legs around the cannon... wasn't helping to reduced the 'discomfort' she experienced between her legs. If she made one bad move, one way or another - her life will be over.Bookmark here

Pant Pant pant…Please…n…no more…I…I can’t...Aaaahn♥♥♥…..”Bookmark here

“Hmm? Big Sis? Did you say something?”Bookmark here

“D…don’t…Mnn♥”Bookmark here

Down? O-okay.”Bookmark here


The barrel flopped. Like a plank falling on its face. Bookmark here

The sensation of the plane dropping 10 meters worth of freefall could be riding up our legs and body at this point. And just like the second phase of turbulence, your feel your @ss slam back into the chair when it stopped falling.

>> CAUTION! Your Arousal Level is 150% over Critical!
>> Purging Excess Energy to prevent Mental Damages
>> 3 - 2 - 1---PURGE!!
Bookmark here

“KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuugggggggnnnnn~♥♥♥♥♥!”Bookmark here

“…………..B…Big Sis? A-are you okay? Why did you scream?”Bookmark here

“…...............................................................A…aaaahnnn♥.”Bookmark here

The Half-Elf Girl gave a small sound. Bookmark here

It resembled to that of a hamster whining when it had a fever. Bookmark here

With a gaping mouth and hard panting breath, the T-34 could see the girl hanging limp over barrel, like a shirt on a cloth line. Her legs gave up gripping the sides and with her arms they dangled. Her body was pressed across the metal, all of her soft parts squished like a lovely balloon. Bookmark here

A warm colored expression was painted over her weary face, full of raw and unfiltered emotion that not even Rembrandt could capture. Bookmark here

“Big Sis? What’s wrong… And why does my nose feel wet?”Bookmark here

"................................N...Nyaaaannnhhnnnn♥"Bookmark here

"Hmm? I-is there a cat around here? I-I don't see it."Bookmark here

"..........K..kkkkkuuuhhhh---T-take responsibility for what you’ve done to my character status, Nello!”Bookmark here

“H-heh!? Heh!? Heh!? B-but, but I did as you ask me to!”Bookmark here

In the end, the T-34 Soviet Tank used the traditional method in trying to acquire the fruit to sate his friend’s hunger and thirst problem. Tying a longer stick to his 3 meter nose like a bayonet, he would turn it left and right through the lower branches in order to knock some of the fruit down. About 15 or so green pears the shape of soft-shelled crabs fell to the ground. Bookmark here

“B-big Sis. Y-you solved your hunger and thirst p-problem right? Y-you should be fine now, right? S-so why are you still super mad at me!?”Bookmark here

“… Hmph. Nello is a dummy. *Munch-munch*.”Bookmark here

“Heh!? Wh-what exactly did I dooooooooooo!?”Bookmark here

Not able to understand a lovely Half-Elf Girl looking away from him, the T-34 Tank threw up his barrel in frantic surrender. Bookmark here

The poor boy inside the iron body will never understand the frustrated heart of a maiden.Bookmark here

You can resume reading from this paragraph.