I Misinterpret Some Helpful Advice, And My Little Sister Holds Me at Knifepoint, But That's Fine Because She Doesn't Actually Have a Knife!

“Hey, Linn, Violet. There’s probably a while left until we get wherever we’re going, so before that. The plan is for me to seduce a bunch of catgirls, but either of you have any ideas on how to do that? Like, concretely. For instance I’m not very liked among the peasants, so if one of the catgirls happened to be a peasant? I’d have no idea what to do. Any advice?”

"Maybe people would like you more if you acted a bit more affectionate?”

“I think you’re fine the way you are, for the most part.”

Linn and Violet both opened their mouths at almost the same time, enough so that it seemed almost miraculous that I heard what either wanted to say.

“Linn, your idea seems more helpful at the moment, so would you mind elaborating?”

I could see my little sister’s ears droop at the corner of my sight, and Linn emit a triumphant smile opposite me.

“You know, perhaps you just seem a bit too cold for the normal people to connect with you. You'd do well to show your love for them more, so why not start practicing now? Like, say, by showing your love for the people closest to you and doing something affectionate towards the people around you."

"I don't actually love the common folk, but I guess putting in a good impression isn't going to hurt either. You thinking something like this?"

I glanced at Violet next to me, and after feeling sure she'd realized my intentions, I wrapped one arm around her back, in a gesture I personally would consider a sure sign of affection.

"No, not like that… or I guess that's good too. But I was thinking something more intimate. And maybe facing the person you're doing it with too, so you can look each other in the eyes and convey your love more directly."

Her ears twitched in a display of emotion I couldn't quite comprehend, but clearly Linn wanted more from me.

Fine.

I already barely had any morals from the start, so this seemed a fine time to throw away the rest of them. I turned away from Linn sitting opposite me and ended up face to face with Violet instead. Leaned in for a kiss, and then more—

"No! Don't do… that. Not now, and not in front of me. Please."

Or I would have, if Linn hadn’t changed her mind about wanting to see at the last second.

“So, where are we going, anyway? Linn, do you know?”

That seemed a good time to take the conversation back to where I’d have wanted it to start and pretend everything before this point didn’t happen.

“Did you seriously not think to ask that until now? I mean, I guess you must have had your mind preoccupied with… more important things. Yeah. Like staring at me or cuddling with your sister. Very important royal business, I guess.”

“I’m not going to deny it just because you’re trying to make it sound like I should feel bad about it.”

A lot had happened in the past day, such as us getting ready to depart, us getting on a carriage, us departing, me managing to remember Linn’s name, and now the most dramatic turn of events of them all: Linn realizing I must be a bona-fide idiot.

At least I chose to interpret the situation that way.

So, Linn. As you may be aware of at this point, a maid. Also a catgirl. For some reason still wearing her maid uniform even while out traveling. Employed at the castle for years, yet I had never seen her before the previous day. Should that raise some red flags?

Probably, but also consider this: She was cute, and a catgirl.

Anyway.

A few minutes-ish later.

"This river is just one of many, actually. We'll probably pass at least another two before reaching our destination."

After being told the name of a place I couldn’t remember and being given directions I couldn’t comprehend, I found myself being lectured on the local geography. Linn knew more than I expected, in particular about the local landscape and various landmarks we passed. I'd even go so far as to say she was made of knowledge. Maid of knowledge? Get it? Maid, made?

You know what, never mind.

Sometimes you needed to stand up for what mattered, for what you cared about, and this seemed a time I needed to stand up for a lifelong philosophy of mine: geography sucks.

So more important business, coming up.

“Linn. Sorry to interrupt your explanations of the local geography, but I’d like to ask you something. I should probably already know this, but what do you usually do around the castle?”

“May I be honest?”

“Of course. Feel free to say whatever you want to. “

“In that case, I would like to point out that you haven’t exactly been very nice to other people who disagreed with you these last few days. And I think I saw a commoner up on the roof? Are you sure you’re willing to hear my honest opinion, and that there won’t be any repercussions for it?”

“You do realize the question I asked isn’t exactly a matter of opinion, right?”

But a peasant on the roof, huh. How would she know that? My sister, a servant I couldn’t remember the name or appearance of, and myself. All of us knew. If anyone else knew anything, it would be from hearing it from one of us or being on the roof themselves at that exact moment. And why only the last few days, when realistically speaking, in some people’s opinion I had been a bit of an… asshole, my whole life?

“True, it might not be a matter of opinion, but if I start speaking there is a distinct risk that my true feelings about some things may slip out, and that you may react badly to them.”

“And here I thought you loved me after yesterday.”

“Oh, I do. That ring on your finger is proof. But you know, just in case. I get the impression you can be a bit moody at times.“

“I’d like to point out that you’re being rather unfair. Sure, I did throw a peasant onto the roof. But I believe you’re missing the most crucial point. The very crux of the argument, if I may say so myself. They weren’t a catgirl. If it’s for a ca—”

Before I could finish the sentence, my sister jumped at me from the side, knocking me down and the air out of my lungs, as well as stopping me from digging my own grave any deeper than necessary.

"You know why I'm on top of you, right, sis?"

"After holding it in for so long, you just couldn't resist anymore."

"Close enough. But you'd better not say that word again, alright?"

And that was why I spent the next hour pinned down by my own little sister, her tail pointed at my throat as if trying to stab me. Not as romantic as I’d hoped.