I Die Crushed by Catgirl Pillows, Yet My Total And All-Consuming Love for Catgirls was Rewarded and I am Reborn In Another World, as a Princess! Then I Find Out My New World Has Catgirls, So I Will Aim to Create a Harem With All the Catgirls in The World!
"Sis, do you want another kiss?"
"Violet, I would love to, but there are two reasons we should wait. One: some of the readers may not like this kind of thing happening between sisters. And two: I really don't feel like we have enough privacy here."
Even I needed to be serious, at times. Times like this one. Times when the people you trusted to take care of the serious business in your place chose to mess around and give you weirdly tempting offers that clearly couldn’t be anything more than a joke, and… setting that aside, this was one of those seriousy serious times when I needed to be all seriousy-ish seriously-fish.
“So dear little sister, as much as I love you, I’m still not entirely convinced doing it again now wouldn’t just be a little bit premature, but also fully out of place.”
“Sis, are you chickening out again?”
Quite the turn of events, considering how reluctant she had been when I proposed she marry me the day before.
“Sis, we could always do it in the Chapter Break? I doubt anyone will see us there.”
"Ah, I think I know what you mean."
I'd read stories about people being reborn into other worlds with various amazing powers and here I was, reborn as a catgirl. So maybe someone would be reading about me the same way I had read about so many others, and this was subtle lampshading, meant to improve their experience by breaking immersion and creating a subtle sense of comedy by means of the contrast between their expectations of this being a fictional story and the reality of it referring to the real world.
"But to think, that we may be nothing but mere characters in a book, soon about to get one of our few brief chances at privacy as the chapter and our roles in it are about to come to an end. I had no idea you were that philosophic, Violet."
"...Sis, I have no idea what you're talking about, but it's the river up ahead. Chapter Break. That's the name."
Or maybe whoever chose that name just happened to be exceptionally bad at naming things.
An instrument composed of a blade fixed into a handle, used for cutting or as a weapon.
Alternatively, to stab with a knife.
What's about to unfold.
Small amounts of liquid seeping out one drop at a time as the blade pierces the body. Blood-red matter hitting the floor. All of it ending in a single, big gulp, as I take a bite and a piece of its flesh slides down my throat.
A rather tasty apple, if I may say so myself.
This entire incident started mere moments earlier.
After having rummaged through her bag for the elusive fruit, Violet held up an apple, peeled with the knife mentioned in the previous chapter, which it had turned out genuinely did exist.
With a loving smile, she offered me what would soon be nothing but a tasty snack.
"You can have one too, Linn."
And felt benevolent enough, in fact, to offer the same courtesy to her rival on the other side of the carriage.
And it was so that the crime came about, and a lot of apples were murdered.
But you know, there's one thing I never knew about apples. About this tasty but innocent-looking fruit that my little sister offered despite being allergic to it herself. A pleasure that she could give but not have for herself.
A pleasure so great that it turned the entire plan for our journey upside down.
All of it starting near a normal riverbank, right in front of a bridge mainly intended for the purpose of crossing the river said bank belonged to. Today a grand total of three people had decided to take up positions right in the middle of said bridge, making it impassable for our far too wide carriage.
The whole thing can really be put rather simply. We had an interest in crossing said bridge, and once we got near enough it became clear that the three people standing on top of it had no intention of leaving, a fact leaving our admirable driver whose identity I did not bother to commit to memory with no choice to stop.
And so all three of us found ourselves outside in an attempt to find out why.
Face to face with three suits of armour - probably with people inside, but so covered from head to toe in metal that I couldn't be sure. Even if they had any other physical features worth describing, there's no way I'd have committed them to memory after having taken in enough detail to notice the distinctive lack of cat ears. Though this situation did make me pause and think. What would an armour for catgirls look like? Nevermind a normal hat?
A train of thought soon interrupted by a statement quite arrogant for someone who wasn't even a catgirl.
"Leave, or we'll hold you for ransom. "
How we'd gotten to this point, I didn't know. I'd stopped paying attention after making sure there were no hot single catgirls interested in dating me in the area. But I did feel a certain sense of responsibility.
"Linn, Violet, I'll handle this."
The blade of a sword appeared right in front of my face in response.
"Hey, no need to be so aggressive. What's all this about a ransom? We're not worth that much, you know."
"You certainly look rich enough to kidnap."
"Now that's an unusual compliment. But here I was thinking you wanted us for being catgirls, and then it turns out you're just interested in my money? Sorry, but not my type."
I thought it was a good quip, but apparently nobody judged it good enough to respond to, considering everyone just stood frozen in dead silence. Time for more direct tactics.
"I'm the princess, you know. Sure the money will be worth having your pretty little heads cut off once the right people find out what you've done?"
I got no response, but the sword pointed at me instead moved aside to point towards Violet, standing slightly behind me.
"What about this other girl then? Huh? She's probably worth a lot of money too, and if she's not the princess we won't have to worry about getting executed! Not so cocky now, are you?"
All I could do was shake my head.
"She's… the other princess."
The sword-wielder looked at me as in disbelief, then quickly glanced at everyone else present, met with silent nods from everyone around them and a great deal of second-hand embarrassment from their companions who shuffled around awkwardly next to the riverbank.
And now time for the finishing blow.
The bluff. Casual words spoken to Violet, making the unnatural seem like the most natural thing in the world.
"You know, if I couldn't stop time, this would be a bit of a predicament."
Violet, unfortunately, did not get the memo.
"Then you'd better… wait? You can stop time?"
"Alright, I'll wait."
As my little sister commanded, I acted. Not just now, but as a general rule. And so, I waited. Admittedly in a pose somewhat on the awkward side, standing up about straight as I could bring my gay little self to, with my arms stretched out wide to either side, my tail stiff behind me and my ears swiveling around on top of my head doing their best breakdance impression.
"Sis, what did you just say?"
Violet looked up at me as I T-posed, with a look I could only describe as pure confusion.
"Alright, I'll wait."
"That this sure would be a problem if I couldn't stop time. Or would you prefer if I killed them by teleporting all three of them a hundred meters up into the air and letting them fall? I'm sure they'd make a nice splat sound. That last part isn't even a bluff, by the way. I really could do that."
Unfortunately standing around looking like a beat-up ragdoll didn't do much for the intimidation factor, even when you were telling the truth.
"What about the third girl? You're not going to claim she's a princess too, are you?"
"No, she's just our maid."
The suit of armour in front of me took a step forward, with clear intent to advance towards Linn. Bad decision.
I grabbed the blade of the sword, and flung the entire thing into the river with a single fluid motion. Some blood splashed to the ground below us, but I did my best to ignore that.
"She may just be a maid, but she's still a catgirl, you know."
I held up my hand towards my opponent, showing off the distinctive lack of wounds on the flat of my hand.
A stunt performed using the magical power granted to me by having two catgirls that had agreed to marry me by my side. The mighty power of… a little bit of healing! Yes, just a little bit.
Teleportation to get the sword just out of my opponent's grip, and healing to make me seem unphased, as well as to restore my overexterted muscles after lifting a sword far too heavy for me to reasonably wield.
In short, I maid it clear that they had no business here, lest they meet the same fate as the very delicious apple I ate minutes earlier.
But even if I pretended to be unaffected, grabbing that thing huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuyuuyuuuuyuuyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurt like hell. Like, why the @#_-((_##))?;:'__##-!£#£:;)))!;_£##_+((--_££& did I do that?
Unfortunately, I couldn't say if the plan worked. The moment between me and the disarmed hunk of metal got interrupted by a loud splash from the river beside us. At first glance I saw what I thought was a log, but I soon realized my mistake. A giant fish-shaped fish leapt up across the bridge, and before I knew it I found myself inside a giant, slimy mouth the size of the mouth of a giant fish with a mouth large enough to fit a catgirl inside.
To think that all of this started with an attempt to be seriously seriousy-fish, only to in the end be eaten by a serious fish.
Being a catgirl eaten by a fish I thought was a log and feeling like a fly caught by a frog, all I can say is, I'm sorry. This couldn't be anything except punishment for all the bad puns I maid. To my dear sister and my maid, I kindly ask.
Please frogive me.
And I fish you were here.
— by Viola Morrigan, a catgirl princess that loved catgirls and her sister a little bit too much and in all the wrong ways.
1999 - some year in the calendar in this world.
And To Be Continued