Introduction

A warm spring breeze blew through my black hair, pink petals from cherry blossoms dancing with the wind. I turned into the school gate and noticed an announcement board for the new school year. It wasn’t an ordinary announcement from the student council president welcoming us back and saying hello to new students. It was far more bizarre.

I had to stop and stare at it. There were four pictures of boys in our school uniform, smiling for their yearbook photo. Each one caught my eye with their charming looks. I read the text above the pictures and below each of the four students. The text above said,

“Come take the entrance exam for our school! Once you do, you will have an opportunity to talk to and get close to our four hotties!”

Continuing with the text beneath each boy, a crowd began to form as the rest of the students tried to read the announcement board as well.

“Our first hottie is Kishi Horiuchi, a first year who has already been accepted to our school. Look at how cute he is! Don’t you want to go to school with someone as cute as that?”

I eyed the picture again. With his light brown hair, almost blonde, and his honeyed golden eyes, along with his sheepish smile that turns his cheeks light pink, anyone would consider him to be cute. I already feel the urge to pinch those pink cheeks.

“Our second hottie is Yorikane Miya, a second year. He’s a bright and lovely addition to our school! I’m sure everyday will be happy and fun with him around!”

Yorikane’s smile is bright and cheerful, making his milk chocolate eyes and hair stand out. But that’s not the only thing about him that stands out. With his yellow star earrings and his bright yellow jacket, I bet you’d be able to find him easily in a crowd.

“Our third hottie is Yuasa Kitahashi, a third year. Although he may be cold, he’s also handsome and smart. I’m sure he’d tutor you if you asked!”

Yuasa coldly gazes at the camera, his deep blue eyes only showing annoyance. His black hair and glasses frame his handsome face perfectly. The black stud in his left ear adds a bit of flair to his appearance.

“And last but certainly not least, our very own Vice President of the Student Council is our fourth hottie! His name is Shoji Iwasaki, a third year. He’s very reliable and helpful! If you need anything, ask him and he’ll do everything in his power to help! Personally, I think he’s the hottest among the four, but who am I to judge? You all should judge for yourselves when you see them in person! Come join our school to be able to!”

Shoji’s brown hair compliments his green eyes, which shine with determination. His smile exudes a sense of responsibility.

After reading the entire poster, I can only think, wow… This is just a marketing scheme for our school that is exploiting the students who go here… Did the student council get everyone’s permission to do this?

Yet as I glance at all the students around me and those walking past, I can tell there are many more students than last year. There seems to be an overwhelming amount of female students as well… I guess it was a success.

I step away from the announcement board and begin my walk to the school doors. While walking, I feel a buzz in my skirt pocket. I stop to pull out my cell phone. There’s new mail from the school. I click on it and read it.

“Thank you for being a part of our wonderful school! We’re so glad you chose us! As thanks, here are the phone numbers of all four hotties. Go ahead and text them a bunch! Maybe you’ll get to be friends with them. Or maybe something more… Thanks again and enjoy this new school year!”

I took a moment to look at the numbers listed below. Then I locked my phone and put it back in my pocket. I kept walking to get to my shoe cubby to change my outdoor shoes to my indoor ones.

After arriving at class 2-1, I was surprised to see yellow between my long bangs. I adjusted my cloudy glasses to get a better look. Hottie number two, Yorikane Miya, was standing against the windows on the left side of the classroom. Many, if not all, of the students in this class were surrounding him, chatting and feeding off his bright energy.

When I noticed him glance my way, I quickly looked down at the floor. I hurried farther into the classroom and went to a desk at the very back next to the last window. I set my bag on the hook attached to the desk and put my head down further. As long as no one tries to talk to me, I’ll be alright. As if they’d try to anyway…

Once our homeroom teacher arrived and class began, we all had to stand up and introduce ourselves. She told us to go by rows, right to left. I would end up being last. I always dreaded times like this at the beginning of the school year. I listened to everyone’s introductions and waited anxiously for my turn. When it was Yorikane’s turn, he got hoots and hollers from his friends. He grinned happily, almost looking embarrassed at the same time, before sitting back down.

Eventually the student next to me finished their introduction and sat down. My palms were sweaty as I stood up, pushing my chair back. I stared down at my desk.

“My name is Saki Shiotani…” I bowed in greeting before finding my chair and sliding back underneath my desk. There was a second of silence before our homeroom teacher spoke. That one second suffocated me as I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I swallowed hard and tried to calm my nerves.

“Wonderful introductions! Let’s all remember each other’s names and get along,” our homeroom teacher said. All of the attention left me and focused on her. I felt like I could finally breathe again. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes.

Our morning classes came and went. It was nice to be able to stay focused on each teacher as they entered and left the classroom, beginning their lessons and assigning homework. Eventually it was lunch time and I had to join the student body in the cafeteria. With everyone getting their lunch and talking with their friends, I was sure I’d be able to disappear into the crowd.

On my way out of the classroom, I passed by the student who sat next to me and her friends. I noticed them whispering among themselves, it was clearly loud enough for me to hear.

“Ugh, why do I have to sit next to her? She’s so gloomy with her long hair covering her face. I feel like I might get cursed.”

“Just ignore her, she’s always been gloomy.”

“You’re right, it’s better to pretend she doesn’t exist so I don’t have to look at her.”

“Haha! Exactly!”

I quickened my pace to get out of there. My eyes were fixed on the floor and my feet in front of me. I followed the halls to the stairs and then to the cafeteria on the first floor. It’s true that it is better to pretend I don’t exist… I’ll feel more at ease that way…

The cafeteria was as crowded as I expected. I stood in line for lunch and eventually received my tray. I left the building to eat outside in my secluded spot that I managed to find in my first year. Rarely anyone goes past that side of the school where it’s shaded and cold. No one wants to eat there for lunch either. It’s perfect.

I lean against the cool wall and begin eating as I listen to the sound of the wind through the leaves of the trees. I can hear distant chatter from students. The light sounds are calming.

After I’ve cleared my tray, I have to pull myself up and back into the school. On my way back up to the second floor, I passed by a group consisting of many girls who were all surrounding one boy. I notice that the boy is hottie number one. I’m a bit surprised to see him passing by me. He’s even cuter in person. But his expression looked… troubled…

I look away and continue walking. I climb the stairs and head back into my classroom. I take my seat and the rest of our classes begin.

I linger in the classroom when school ends, slowly putting all of my notebooks and pencils away inside my bag. My classmates filter out and soon leave me by myself. I zip up my bag and look out the window at the student body leaving through the school gates. I sigh. Then I put my bag over my shoulder and leave the classroom.

The bus that stops near the school takes me to a stop close to my house. I walk home as the sun gets lower in the sky. Once I’m home, the house is dark and empty. I head to my room with the color pink scattered everywhere and cute stuffed animals on the bed and shelves, a room you wouldn’t expect from a gloomy person such as myself. I set my bag down on my bed.

I stretch the tension in my body away, pulling off the uncomfortable uniform and slipping into loungewear. I push my bangs out of my face and behind my ears as if I’m pulling apart heavy drapes. My cloudy glasses come off and the vibrancy of my surroundings become clearer. I set them on my nightstand next to my alarm clock.

Once I’m feeling more comfortable, I hear the front door open and close. I leave my room to greet my father.

“Welcome home,” I tell him.

“I’m back,” he replies. I glance at his rough expression, to the scar on his cheek, and to his uniform with a moving company’s label plastered on the front.

“Should I make dinner?” I ask.

“Yeah. I can help you in a moment.” He walked past me to his room, most likely to shower and change his clothes. I headed to the kitchen and began making dinner.

Dinner was quiet. Until father spoke.

“How was school?”

“The same as always,” I replied.

I felt his eyes on me but I stared down at my food.

“Nothing in particular happened?”

“Nope.”

“And… You hid your face again, right?”

I paused. “Yes…”

“Saki.”

I looked up at him. He traced the long scar on his cheek with a finger. “Remember what I told you about scars?”

I clutched my fork. “Yes…”

“Scars symbolize a battle that you fought and won. And you definitely won, Saki. There’s no need to be ashamed of your scars.”

“Yeah, I remember…”

“Alright.”

He dug into his food again, not saying anything else. I raised a hand to my face. I felt many small scars on my cheeks, forehead, next to my eyes, everywhere. I fought and won, huh… But why was that a battle that I had to be thrust into? I didn’t want to fight, they forced it upon me. And now I have scars that can only fade but never go away completely. I will live with these scars for the rest of my life. And I will have to live with those eyes that always stare when they see them…

Every morning, I get up, get dressed, eat the breakfast that father made before leaving for work, then head to school. I pay attention to every class, take a break for lunch, and continue with the rest of my classes. Then I go home, eat dinner with father, do homework, and sleep.

Each and every day is the same and monotonous. I can only focus on my studies and relax at home for things to do with myself. It’s boring no matter how much I try to pretend it’s not. I do have a hobby of doodling in a notebook, but they’re only doodles and I’m not always drawing, nor do I want to.

While lying on my bed after school after about a week of this, I stared at the ceiling and remembered the first day of school. That strange and exploitative announcement board. And the email I received afterwards. I suddenly sat up and scrambled for my phone.

The email was still in my inbox with those four numbers. Yorikane in class 2-1 and Kishi, who I happened to walk past, are at the top of the list. That cold third year and the vice president are listed after. Those boys… Am I really going to stoop as low as those other girls at school, squealing at the mere sight of the four “hotties”?

I laid back on my bed again, my phone resting in my palm. I looked up at the ceiling as if it had an answer. I can’t thrust myself into a battlefield such as love between a girl and a boy. I know no one will ever look upon this scarred face and feel affection for me. So there’s no way I can allow myself to fall in love either. I can’t talk to these boys expecting something like that. But… if it was only for fun for a little bit…

I turned my head to look back at those numbers. Yeah. I can have fun, can’t I? I deserve to have fun after everything I’ve been through, right? Even a girl with a scarred face… can’t she talk to some handsome boys at least once in her life?

With those dangerous thoughts, I plunged head first into a battlefield I wasn’t prepared for. I had no idea what talking to those boys would bring to my somewhat peaceful life. But I found out that I could never come back from this one decision.