SavageBananaMan32 Collab Video Script

Woodpecker Joe scoffed at the holographic wooden wall. This scene had been stuck inside his head. He closed his eyes and pouted to this jazzy rhythm, feeling his teeth with his tongue beneath his tight sheepish smile.

Smoke and coffee mingled in the air. He took a deep breath and turned to place his feet on the table. He raised one brow.

“What seems to be the problem?”

Woodpecker Joe shrank. He blushed as he waved his hands together and squealed like an anime girl. Seven stopped the smoke misting at his back and halted the coffee grinding in his chest to clap.

Benny gave them a bit of slow applause, pretending to know what just happened before dropping his gloves and apron on the floor. He kicked them to the side and let the holographic walls do their work. The kid left the bathroom, wiping his sweat like an old satisfied man who had a good day toiling the fields. Behind him was a work of art, tiles and floors polished like mirrors.

“Three minutes. Also,” Benny smelled himself and pointed at Seven’s coffee maker. “that’s our last batch.”

“It’s customer service. Besides, we can lay low after this. We’re working with someone that has eighty-seven followers, after all. That’s near to a hundred. If we play our cards right, we’ll be big-time.”

Benny scoffed. “You sure about that?”

“Party pooper.”

Benny slid to the couch and leaned on Seven’s shoulder. “Don’t be too helpful. We can’t have good work with Prank Masters. I did a bit of digging. Rumor has it that he Genie’d another content creator.”

“Having a hundred followers sounds awesome.”

“So…” Benny tilted his head. “What… is this?”

Woodpecker Joe’s eyes crossed with Benny’s. Benny stepped back and crossed his arms by the window. Five solid seconds. Woodpecker Joe faced the wall. The Jazzy rhythm came once more, and it ended with Benny chuckling like a criminal as Woodpecker Joe turned and placed his foot on the table.

This time, the old man bellowed a laugh and raised his chin. Arching his back, he flashed Seven a confident grin.

“What seems to be the problem, boy?”

Woodpecker Joe tried to raise his brow to greater heights sacrificing the stability of his bending chair. He wobbled but he didn’t buckle. His determination remained true.

The spine of his office chair snapped and he fell to the floor. They froze. They said nothing. Woodpecker Joe got on his feet. They flocked together. They bumped their shoulders and they all waved their hands and squealed like anime girls in surrender.

The whole room rang and they scrambled back to where they were. Seven panicked and settled to do yoga, starting with the warrior pose. Benny tried to get his leg up the window to sit, but he was too short to be cool. Summoning a cigarette was his most desperate attempt, which fell to the floor. He gave himself two seconds before whimpering under Woodpecker Joe’s table.

Woodpecker Joe faced the wall again, now without the chair. He snapped his fingers and allowed the caller to fill the room with his presence. He wiped his sweat. He patted the dust off his shoulders and stepped onto the desk after fidgeting to turn like a morbidly obese augmented oily marshmallow man squeezing through a tight corner.

He greeted a child wearing a pair of dark pants paired with a rainbow-colored suit and a glittered tie. No. He coughed. He must not laugh. This is SavageBananaMan32. Too good. He’s right to be nervous. He was going to be working with a 70-year-old Prank Master with eighty-seven followers and he almost ruined it.

“Is this it?” SavageBananaMan32 turned and placed both his hands on the back of his waist. “Is this your merry crew?”

“Yes. We are the Hired Hands of Odd Joe Odd Jobs. I would be Woodpecker Joe, Third-class Hired Hand. The good automaton of compliments, positivity, and fun, is Seven. Fourth-class Hired Hand. The last one would be…”

SavageBananaMan32 turned to look around and set his eyes on the toilet. Woodpecker Joe followed. He swallowed as their visitor smiled at its glimmering cleanliness like an art critique, only that he jabbed his finger through the holographic wall and reveled at the touch of a surface denied of muck and neglect.

“I’m willing to talk terms.” SavageBananaMan32 sank his gaze through Woodpecker Joe’s eyes. Their height difference didn’t exist. “So, do tell me, Mister Joe. Can I trust you?”

“I—”

“Before you say anything else…” SavageBananaMan32 waved to stop Woodpecker Joe from talking. He skittered and plopped onto the couch. “I know of the Hired Hand Code, Mister Joe. I appreciate you respecting my request. I understand that you, people, are very smart, so I know that you would get that what you’re about to say is a waste of time because it's not the one I’m looking for.”

Woodpecker Joe swallowed. “Yes.”

“Do you understand the gravity of the situation?”

“You want me to ruin someone’s life.” Woodpecker Joe’s eyes darkened. “And as a professional Hired Hand, I’m only going to ask who… or what, not why—”

“I’ll tell you why.”

“Ok.”

“See, the race for the first content creator to reach one-hundred subscribers in TinkTonk, the Kontent Tube, is still on. I did a little digging, too, Mister Joe. So, congratulations on your seven whole subscribers, by the way. You earned a follow.” SavageBananaMan32 smiled. “I find your content, interesting. It made me realize that you’re going to understand what I’ll be talking about.”

“Is that…” Woodpecker Joe squeaked from the corner of his lips. His face hardened. “Is that why you chose us… Me?”

“No,” SavageBananaMan32 scoffed. “you’re the only one who didn’t leave me on read.”

“Ok.”

“Anyway, if you could still remember, I was the first person to reach fifty subscribers back then. And I want to be the first one to reach a hundred subscribers on this platform. I did a little more to keep a few channels from growing, but now… that dream of mine is being threatened by HoneyCakes44.” SavageBananaMan32 summoned and crushed the wafer stick in his hand. “She didn’t do the same thing. Impossible, as one might say. She managed to pass through the wall of Reaction Channels I’ve controlled by parading her humanity… Her being real… Natural. She does things with her hands, and her followers, knowing that she’s fully human, deemed it amazing. I could do that too if I wanted. Don’t you believe me, Mister Joe?”

Woodpecker Joe nodded. He couldn’t ask why.

“Exactly. I can make everything happen, but this is who I am. I can never deny myself that. That’s why I am what I am. This is my greatest form, the one that I desired the most, and now I feel like I’m being discriminated against. Power is a wonderful thing, Mister Joe. I respect her content. That’s why I won’t do what she does. But,” SavageBananaMan32 clicked his tongue. “I am scared, Mister Joe. I feel like if I close my eyes, with her gaining one subscriber every week, I would wake up with nothing, with my dream snatched from my very fingers.”

SavageBananaMan32 jumped out of the couch and placed his hands on Woodpecker Joe’s thigh, pretending that it was his shoulder. Woodpecker Joe tightened his fists. It makes sense. That’s why he didn’t want to look. Benny was still in hiding, so there was no need to worry about him.

Seven could pretend to be furniture. He had to save face and not laugh after being reminded that SavageBananaMan32 looks like a wrinkled brown jelly bean with a suit that had a voice of a chipmunk mafioso.

“You’re angry too, aren’t you, Mister Joe? I can see it in your eyes.”

SavageBananaMan32 smiled in hope. He peered deep into Woodpecker Joe’s eyes as he trembles upon his seat, gritting his teeth to not let a single sound pass through his lips. This old man sounded like he was getting high with helium.

“You understand, too, Mister Joe? I want her ruined. By the end of this week, I don’t care how much it takes. I want her to lose five followers, which should put her back to eighty-five, her rightful place. Of course, the lower she goes, the better. But no one needs to know about this.” SavageBananaMan32 glanced at Seven, bouncing to Woodpecker Joe and stopping at the hooded figure seemingly floating out of an office table. “Who—”

“That would be Benny, Sir SavageBananaMan32.”

Benny combed his hair and leaned on the nearby wall. He smiled, letting their customer see his purple eyes. “I would be the Dark King, Benny.”

“He’s a customer,” Woodpecker Joe said.

Benny stopped. He coughed and re-established his dominance in the room with a nervous smile. “Benny. I’m Benny, Sir.”

SavageBananaMan32 sniffed. “Is he a part of your crew? What does he do?”

“I disappear,” Benny grinned. “and reappear anywhere I wish.”

“Well, looks like my interest has been taken once again.” SavageBananaMan32 raised a brow. “What, like some sort of an illusionist with teleportation tech?”

“Yes.” Benny carried his pride in his chest. “I also clean toilets very well.”

SavageBananaMan32 smiled at Woodpecker Joe. He snapped his finger and a textbox that showed five-hundred gold appeared. “I know how Hired Hands operate, but since this is a very special request that has its own tier of difficulty, I am prepared to offer—”

“That would be absolutely unnecessary.” Woodpecker Joe heard Benny bash his head at the table in the background. Lucky. It looked like SavageBananaMan32 was taken aback by their almost unreasonable reaction and didn’t see that poor display of professionalism. “We will be working per day and would never stop until the job is done. Each of us has an agreed rate of three silver per day. I know that it's a top-order but understand that this is a very secretive mission. We have to gather information ourselves, so please understand that whatever we spend would be placed upon you for reimbursement.”

SavageBananaMan32 raised his brow. “Is this some sort of scam?”

“Not quite. But it is worth the risk, don’t you think?” Woodpecker Joe held a finger. “If we add our initial estimates, then I think our final payment along with the reimbursements would be about two gold.”

SavageBananaMan32 tilted his head.

“Unthinkable, I know. It's too much, But I have to ask you to trust us. We will get the job done. We will ruin her life for you… and we would do better. We would be providing you with constant updates along with random facts and trivia about the members of the Odd Joe Odd Jobs while you wait for the good news.” Woodpecker Joe knelt and extended his hand to SavageBananaMan32. “So, what do you say? Is that a deal?”

“Your…” SavageBananaMan32 stepped back and looked around in disbelief before returning to Woodpecker Joe. “Your brain ain’t right, huh?”