Operation Brown Garden Video Script

“It’s been three days.” Woodpecker Joe yawned over his desk to see his team carving their faces on the coffee table by the couch. Seven was pretending to be exhausted to belong. “What do we have?”

“Data. Progress. Patterns. Exhaustion and a surplus of energy drinks.” Seven straightened his back, gave Woodpecker Joe a thumbs up, and patted Benny’s head until the boy forced him to stop. “I was unable to stop the both of you, unfortunately. Now, we’ve spent another five silver to get all of these bottles. I am ashamed. I should’ve karate chopped the back of your necks on your fifteenth order from the store.”

“It's fine.” Woodpecker Joe scratched the back of his neck. Somehow, it stung a bit. “But moving on… I’ve listed most of the stuff that we could do, based on her user ratings, interactions, and basically how her fanbase works. I sent it a few hours earlier before I passed out. Have you had a chance to check it out?”

“Affirmative.”

Benny raised his thumb without lifting his face from the table. “Most of them are trash. Few are worth considering. One or two are too idealistic. Bridging her with bananas so that she would beg some of her followers to unsubscribe is a waste of paper and ink.”

“It's digital.”

“You know what I mean.” Benny groaned as he faced Woodpecker Joe. “Do you really want to do this? We can—”

“Unfortunately.”

Woodpecker Joe leaned on his elbows. He yawned once more and combed his hair to the back of his head. He smiled a bit. He set the theme to make it look like they were planning a heist, but they ended up looking like overworked students cramming to finish their papers.

Benny tightened his lips. “We’re really doing this?”

“It's two gold.” Woodpecker Joe looked down. “The pay is good. I mean, I tried to bargain and raised the bar a bit, but… I’m not the one for the money, but oh boy.”

Benny’s face hardened.

“Right?” Woodpecker Joe failed to make eye contact. He smiled in disbelief. “It's unthinkable. And he left like we’re not even going to take the job. Man. But don’t worry. He paid us everything in advance. So, this time, we’ll be able to cover the cost appropriately. We’ll surprise him. We’ll do the job and prove him wrong.”

Benny cried a bit and breathed. “This is fine.”

“Affirmative. I’m happy for both of you. I scanned the document just now. Moving beyond the critique of your writing, I’d like to start out that I’m proud of both of you. I’ve seen you work hard for the past three days. I’m really happy with the lack of distraction that both of you chose to go through based on your internet history. What I received was a beautiful children’s book with plans of murder, kidnapping, degradation, and sometimes, straight-up ruin that could’ve turned me into a Genie if I had a human heart. I’m glad that you’ve expanded your ideas and that I’ve identified that I couldn’t throw you in jail for such. But to cut off those excess plans, here are some facts that I think you should know.”

Woodpecker Joe glanced at Benny.

The kid jerked back his head. “Did you just assume that it's my fault?” He groaned. “I made him eat a printer that writes blogs with the help of AI, thinking that maybe it’ll help us collect and present information clearly to our customers next time. I’m also planning to design a flyer after this. It's a free resource, so there might be—”

“But before we proceed, let me tell you about a game that’s been crushing the community for about a year now. It's mobile, so it means that you can play wherever and whenever you want! Here, you’ll be able to build teams according to what you want as well as customize your strategies and pit them against bosses and other players. It also supports Immersion Play, where you’ll be able to play as your own characters and lead your team to victory.” Seven pushed himself off the table to spin like a ballerina before ending it with a snap of his finger. His eyes darted from Benny to Woodpecker Joe. “So what are you waiting for? Go check out the Legend of the Shadow Raids from the application store and see where your adventures take you. And here’s more. If you enter and use the code HoneySupports, you’ll be able to start the game with a five-star legend and five hundred gold. Start your journey today.”

Benny sank his face into the table again and held his head. “Ads,” he mouthed. “I was about to say that there might be ads.”

“You made Seven check her content?” Woodpecker Joe slammed and dislocated his hand on the table. He furrowed his brows with great interest. “Was it… pog?”

“Genuine. She’s nice and she cheers people on by cheering herself.” Benny moved himself to the couch. “It's wholesome, pure. There’s a playlist of her just going to people’s houses and asking them what they wanted. I mean, she never showed her progress. She makes those little trinkets and characters. I don’t know what those are, for, honestly. But people had been theorizing that it was all masterfully crafted, but the look on her fans was amazing. It's very cute. I binged everything. I’m already a subscriber.”

“So, one step away from our goal isn’t that bad.” Woodpecker Joe fixed his hand and cupped his chin. “I like the challenge, frankly.”

Benny caved to fear. “Seven is subscribed to her too.”

“I cannot lie and I am disappointed in myself, but I have to tell myself to keep moving forward because I would be fighting for something that I really like, which is entirely not wrong in itself. So, I am fine, Mister Joe. You should subscribe to her. Her content is very great.” Seven gave Benny a sad haunting glare and got back to Woodpecker Joe. “It's stable. She won’t betray you with a late upload. Never. Most of her comments, even though she gets a lot of hate, continue to dominate the leaderboard based on positive user interaction. I now understand why SavageBananaMan32 wanted us to ruin her.”

“See—”

Benny’s eyes gleamed purple, but the passionate grin he wore remained. Seven was about to follow, but he was able to process the level of cringe he just committed and crashed to the floor, twitching.

“The thing is,” Benny followed. “she never pays attention to the comments. And in the chance that she did, she never rebuts them poorly. Even if she’s crafting something… or at least she’s showing the process that's probably irrelevant to the final product, she would be nice enough to only talk about herself. She welcomes attacks, but her content was always about herself and sharing who she was. She never tried to prove them wrong… so what’s happening right now is a reverse witch hunt where her haters are being hunted to keep her safe.”

Woodpecker Joe cupped his chin. “Really?”

“I think so.”

“I took the liberty of scanning her logs,” Seven added as he shuddered on the floor. “She expressed her hate on something a couple of times, and she was very clear about why. But she’s never smug about it. It might be a textbook definition of what a good girl is. She never went out of her way to hate something without a proper explanation and if she’s getting attacked because of it, she would properly apologize and say that she was just explaining her opinion before leaving the subject altogether. The most interesting thing I could find is that those that she had an argument with within the comments section subscribed to her a few days later.”

“I…” Benny clenched his fists. “Thinking about it… I’m the one that added one of the options there and pretended that it was you who typed it. It came from me. The plan came from me, but knowing about her and being able to process my feelings more with the help of you guys,” he gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to kill her anymore—”

“That was never on the table.”

Benny frowned at both his hands. “To end a life. We’ve fought together. I know what it means to kill a person that turned into a Genie. It was fun, especially when we became so good that the enemies stopped wiping the floor with us until stronger allies arrived or until Seven figures things out. But to think that I initially wanted to kill a person as wonderful as she made me think about something…”

“It was never on the table.”

“The world needs more people like her, who shared her true vulnerable self on the internet. She’s an icon of reality and positivity.” Benny stepped away from the table. “And I’d defend her even from the both of you.”

“Seven, can you please check if Benny here got seduced again.”

Seven blinked two times and turned to Woodpecker Joe. “Negative. While I understand and applaud you for your care about Benny who might’ve been seduced again because he visited a few suspicious sites that promote a better experience, I would like to say that he’s normal. His history is clean. His brainwaves suggest that it is him acting for himself, beyond the brain and the bodily desires of a young man who’ve never been into a romantic relationship before.”

Benny looked away and sucked his teeth. “Great.”

“Again, it never was on the table, but at least we know that certain things won’t work.” Woodpecker Joe scratched the back of his head. “Leaving a bad review on her page would destroy my career as a content creator. Giving her a conspiracy theory or revealing a darker side of her would be impossible due to the content that she makes. We can go around interviewing the people that she worked with or helped before though—”

“Not going to work.” Benny showed them a badge that looked like a cake dripping with honey. “I joined her Fanclub to gather more information for her. I donated one silver, which was enough to give me the highest tier. I told everyone that I was a new fan and they welcomed me quite warmly. We had a party last night. HoneyCakes44 was not there. They said that she was working on a new video. After that… I messaged everyone privately and asked them for their story. Not a single person told me something bad about her.”

“There’s a chance that they’re lying though. Assuming that SavageBananaMan32’s people have been gathering information about her on the internet.”

“Negative. There’s absolutely no chance that her people are lying,” Seven declared.

“How so—”

Woodpecker Joe closed his eyes. He held his head as an image of his heart being ripped to shreds trembled his lips. That cake badge dripping with honey. Seven had it too. The mission was compromised. He trembled in fear and the cold scalding yet betrayal he got from his friends.

Woodpecker Joe looked down, gritting his teeth. “Are we still…”

“Definitely.”

“Affirmative.”

“I won’t just do murders. So, with everything… I guess…”

“It leaves us with one plan left,” Seven said. “I have the relevant data right here. But I don’t suggest we risk it yet. Her internet activity is minimal. We’ll have to study her in person.”

“I see.” Woodpecker Joe scoffed. He gazed at them with determination burning in his eyes. “She won’t ruin her reputation. She couldn’t ruin her reputation. No one could ruin her reputation with words and she’s actually being treated with high regard. We’ll have to ruin her without words. And we’ll make it so that her supporters would feel more superior to their idol. In short…”

Benny urged him to move on. His eyes gleamed purple, but it was a look that told Woodpecker Joe that he’d follow him to hell. He’s waiting for his words. Seven looked determined, too, but he’s heating up again. The last time he did this was when he was doing his best to stop an ad without AdBlock.

But there’s one thing that he’s sure of. These were his friends and they believe in him.

“In short…” Woodpecker Joe followed. “We’re going to make a video on a dummy account and have SavageBananaMan32 scatter it on the internet. We’re going to take a video of someone smearing synthetic poop on her cheeks.”

Benny scoffed. “Synthetic?”

Woodpecker Joe jerked back. “Of course, I’m not an evil bastard.”

“Makes sense.” Benny crossed his arms and nodded at Woodpecker Joe, smiling.

“Then, it would be official.” Seven raised his fist in the air. Seven stepped on the couch to reach it. Woodpecker Joe vaulted over his desk and almost broke his knees, but he got it. “The Hired Hand Group of the Third Ward of the Ast Congregation shall now undertake this mission.”

“Roger that,” Benny and Woodpecker Joe declared.

“We would uphold our courtesy, our honor, and our etiquette as we stop at nothing to fulfill this mission, not until we find it that it's too risky and have it be taken by a stronger group within our respective ward or through our client’s recommendation. We ask for the blessing of the Ethereal Rick, as he rolls onto the hands of fate that would surely dictate the rhythm of our dance. May our voices change the tide of the world itself so that we may be victorious in our undertaking. For this… our operation name would be…”

Both of them looked at Woodpecker Joe.

“Brown Garden.” Woodpecker Joe gave them a determined smile. “This is Operation Brown Garden.”