Chapter 11:

When you see an Elf plea to a Dwarf, Take a Picture. -- (11th_Counsel)


:: Dear Diary..... Due to the incident with the manticore, I realized two important things. One, I leveled up. Sharing a party with Nello gave me a small percentage of the experience he acquired in defeating the enemy. Since it was Lv 20, I've received a considerable amount of experience points to let me skip several levels. Second, I'm still weak. Despite receiving so many points, my base stats are still the same as I had started out adventuring. Even with a higher level, a basic slime could easily defeat me. I wonder if there is a glitch in the system. Hmm. I think I'll pay a visit to that nice lady with glasses back at the guild. She looks smart, maybe she could explain to me what is wrong with my character sheet. ::Bookmark here

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“Welcome back, how did your advent—Guugg!? Wh-why the h*ll do you smell like wet dog!?”Bookmark here

“I came across a Manticore. Long story.”Bookmark here

“D-don’t try and fool me, young woman! I’ve been working here since my mother carried me in her womb, so-so I’m used to hearing all sorts of lies! If you have a fetish for dogs, just say so, this city doesn’t judge.”Bookmark here


Pastrache had returned to the capital city, where she had registered her name. Bookmark here

The guild she was in was located in the center of the city, standing in front of a public fountain that was also a monument for a previous great war the province had survive from.Bookmark here

The streets were made of stone tiles, the buildings made of lime stone, and the roofs had a lovely terracotta color decorated with fresh green vines. Even when this city was in the middle of a landlock, it felt like the Half-Elf was living in a Mediterranean village.Bookmark here

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. No need to promote the capital’s beautiful public parks and national libraries for a tourist attraction (#AdNotSponsored).Bookmark here

“H-huk! Hack! Cough, seriously, Miss Adventurer! You should at least have a decent bubble bath after your fun time with the dogs!”Bookmark here

“Sh-shut up! I already threw myself in the local river about 6 times. I even used up all of the soaps I had left in my inventory! It’s not my fault Manticore brain and intestine smell this terrible!!…Sniff, sniff Gaaah! Th-the scent still wreaks in my hair! Th-this is a tragedy!”Bookmark here

“Sigh. You should at least look decent enough. I mean, what would a man think if they walk by you. The second he picks up the scent of a rat plague, he’ll think all the girls in the city are rubbing it on their bosom as a new fashion fad. It would make us look bad. Now, come here, I hope you’re not allergic to any ingredients used in this perfume.”Bookmark here

“Nyaaaah! S-stop pulling on my corset! Gaaaagh! Wh-why are you dumping an entire bottle of lavender oil down my body! Nayaahh! S-stop! I-I don’t like this slippery sensation!”Bookmark here

Pastrache was hoping to seek out help in order to fix her character stats problem. As much as she would like to stay with her friend Nello, or having him come with her, it was impossible.Bookmark here

Nello was a tank, and his width alone would surely smash through those narrow wooden gates as if it was a child’s cardboard fort. The amount of collateral damage counting up in her head would surely bankrupt her life as an adventurer. Even if she sold her body to work on a farm as an indentured servant, five generations would not be enough to compensate for the damages.Bookmark here

Hence why she came into the capital alone. At least she thought she was safe to this Dwarf Lady who manned the main counter of the Adventurer Guild she was registered too.Bookmark here

Bad decision.Bookmark here

"S-stop thrashing you little girl! H-how else can I splash every nook and cranny on your body and clothing if you keep pulling away like a child who won't take her medicine!"Bookmark here

"S-screw you! I-I have super sensitive skin! I-I never once consented for you to stain me in your colored cologne or whatever the cr*p smell you're painting on m--Nyaaagh♥! Why my pants!?"Bookmark here

The woman that was pulling on her neck and dumping the contents of an expensive looking aroma bottle was about 4 feet tall. No higher than Pastrache’s waist. A woman with a mature look and long blue hair tied up in a dame's bun, sporting a pair of spectacles that made her look important in her position as a Guild Clerk. Bookmark here

Almost everyone who entered and exited, be they new recruits or old veterans, would always, always say hello to this clerk lady, or at least a nod in greeting.Bookmark here

Anyone caught not properly introducing themselves to this small woman, would be kindly escorted into the Staff Lounge #3 to have their @ss kicked with an iron boot.Bookmark here

The same iron boots the Dwarf Clerk was wearing right now.Bookmark here

“Please! S-stop shoving the bottle down my clothing! How d-do you expect me to fight without worrying the glass becoming shattered after a punch to the gut!? A-also, it would be extremely awkward if it fell out of my skirt and some undead enemy gives me this look as if to say 'OMG is that your child? Wh-who is the father!?' . I'm not a mistress of a glass factory!”Bookmark here

“Easy. Instead of a shotgun marriage, tell them you have a bladder issue.”Bookmark here

“F**K YOU!”Bookmark here

Pastrache ‘kindly’ shoved the Dwarf Clerk’s hands away from her chest and rummaged through her corset in order to pluck out the foreign aroma bottle out from her clothing. All the while, the said Dwarf Clerk could be seen sighing as she took a moment to wash her hands with a bottle of sanitizing gel sitting on her desk (orange scented).Bookmark here

“Anyway, how may I be of service to you, fellow Adventurer?”Bookmark here

“Now you talk business!? Compensate for my mental damages you reckless woman!”Bookmark here

“If you came to get a job, please go over to the request board and pick one out. If you want to acquire intelligence of a certain individual in the city, our information broker is sulking in the corner and drowning his sorrows from losing his 10th girlfriend this month. If you wish to pick a fight with me, Staff Lounge #3 is open for you.”Bookmark here

“...N-never mind. I-I’ll get back to business…Gu-gulp.”Bookmark here

“Wise choice. Now, how may I help you today?”Bookmark here

The Dwarf Clerk said those words with a soft sigh, but it was clear she wasn’t at all happy with that sharp look in her eyes. Even when she had expensive looking glasses shielding her gaze, Pastrache could definitely feel hot daggers plunging into her throat for the wrong reasons.Bookmark here

“I-I need you help regarding about my Character Sheet Data. I think it’s broken.”Bookmark here

“Oh? How so?”Bookmark here

“Well. I’ve increased my base power to level 8, however my stats haven’t moved that much. Also, I think I’m missing some skills I should be receiving when I was to reach level 5 and 6. Could you explain to me what’s the matter?”Bookmark here

“……..Pardon me?”Bookmark here

“D-didn’t you hear me. I said I’m level 8 now and my stats are still level 1.”Bookmark here

“No, no…just the first half of your statement.”Bookmark here

“Didn’t you hear me? Break. I said I’m level 8 now. Break.”Bookmark here

“Impossible. Simply impossible. Is this some kind of prank? You’ve only registered with us for about five days. Even if you accomplished eradicating an Level 10 Orc Raiding Party by chance, you shouldn’t have skyrocketed to Level 8 so quickly.”Bookmark here

“………..I’m not lying.”Bookmark here

“Says the girl who is hiding her fetish for dogs.”Bookmark here

“I-I DON’T HAVE A FETISH FOR ANIMALS YOU GOD-D*MN…lovely clerk lady.”Bookmark here

Pastrache wanted to yell, at the top of her lungs and make an epic scene that would properly end with her being dragged out the front door by two burly men. Bookmark here

Instead, she decided to cut her future plot short upon seeing this killer red glint dancing across the rim of the Dwarf Clerk’s glasses. Would it be strange to say she still had this smile of a professional on her small face.Bookmark here

“Regardless if you are using a Cheat Code or Rare Candy in order to level up your current status, your ability to improve your character scores shouldn’t be affected by a bug or glitch. Have you been manually updating your information as you level up?”Bookmark here

“…………………………………………..Yes. B-but it still had zero effect.”Bookmark here

“Miss Elf, please look at me when you try to lie. Stress sweat is forming on your cleavage.”Bookmark here

“W-wait th-that’s a weird spot to be detecting whether or not a girl is lying!”Bookmark here

Pastrache swallowed her saliva when the Dwarf Clerk stared at her intently, as if she was caught in the middle of an interrogation. She tried to change the subject by going on about how the weather was, or forming her line of defense by poking her fingers together like a child who realized she had done something wrong - but wasn't ready to say it.Bookmark here

It had no effect on the professional Guild Clerk who kept smiling while standing on a 10 inch soap box behind the counter (#DwarvesHaveItRough).Bookmark here

“I told you to properly listen to the Tutorial Classes. It’s completely free to attend upon completing your initial registry. Are you suggesting that your Intelligence score is too low for you to understand that common sense?”Bookmark here

“D-don’t make me call on Nello to run you over, you evil—Lovely clerk who has lovely bosoms.”Bookmark here

“……..If you were a man, I would have slapped you with my mace. Hmph. Now, let’s begin your tutorial. I will be your teacher for the day.”Bookmark here

“Gulp.”Bookmark here

“Why are you so nervous, little Elf? Just because this Dwarf has a reputation of crushing impolite recruits, doesn’t mean everyone has to be afraid of me…right?”Bookmark here

"Ugii (OxO)!!"Bookmark here

(#PrayForHalfElf)Bookmark here

You can resume reading from this paragraph.