Magical Knight Lune XY: My HOMIE Swooped Me off My Feet, and Now I Think I Might Be in LOVE?!
Grandma’s house, er, my house, is a single floor, three bedroom home in the middle of a quiet neighborhood. My grandparents had it built back in the 1950s and went on to start a family here. Sure, it’s not the most spectacular looking house in the world, but it's held up after all these years. Just don’t use the bathroom in the master bedroom.
I arrived home after parting ways with Jack, hopping over the tall privacy fence and into the backyard. The motion light kicked on, illuminating the yard. The grass had long since been replaced with clover, which was easier for Grandma to maintain in her later years. It’s much nicer to walk barefoot on, in my opinion.
“I’m home!” I called out as I entered through the back entrance. The screen door slammed shut behind me with a loud CRASH as it always did.
One year, seven months, and six days ago, Grandma passed away, leaving me essentially orphaned. At her funeral, surrounded by people I barely knew or hadn’t met till that day, I feared that I was going to be alone. Of course, that was a silly thought since Jack would be there for me. But at the time, I was so blinded by my grief like I was trapped in a thick fog.
But then, she appeared.
Like a guardian angel descending from the heavens, she spoke softly with a gentle tone that instantaneously lifted the shroud of darkness from my whole being. “You have what it takes to become a most wonderful magical girl,” she said with a smile untainted by the sins of mankind.
After having lost the only purpose I thought I had in life, she presented me with a new one: to spread the kindness taught to me by Grandma and share it with others. Bring joy to people’s faces and protect their happiness.
Since then, I dedicated myself to being a magical girl, with Belliney staying by my side.
“AAAUUUUGH! The cake… It’s eating me…”
Sprawled out across the couch asleep, covered in empty junk food wrappers and garbage, was Belliney.
Turns out even angels are human. Who knew!?
Don’t get me wrong! Belliney is still a wonderful, caring individual! If not for her, who knows where I would’ve wound up. But that first impression of an angel descending from the heavens was quickly replaced with reality: she was closer to a 20-something going through their quarter life crisis than a servant of a god.
She was beautiful, I’ll admit. Tall, slender, with olive skin and long auburn hair. The kind of person who could immediately roll out of bed, go about their day, and somehow look absolutely stunning.
Which is exactly what she’d do. Every day. Sometimes not bothering to get up until late in the afternoon.
Her wardrobe consists of a single white robe with gold trim that gives me huge ancient Greece vibes. No matter the occasion, whether it be relaxing at home, going shopping with me, or even helping me with the occasional yard work, it was the only thing she wore. And she never took it off, either. It must have some sort of magical capacity, as she’ll crawl into bed with it on, and then the next morning, it’ll be wrinkle free.
Whenever she was home, I’d always find her crashed on the couch, surrounded by junk food. If not for me cooking our meals, I fear her entire diet would consist solely of potato chips and snack cakes, washed down with homemade red wine.
You might be wondering why I’m not more upset about her being a lazy bum. That’s because I knew she was trying her hardest to survive in this punishing world. She’ll cry and throw a tantrum, sure. Sometimes I literally have to drag her by her feet to get her to do something. But when it mattered, she’s there, ready to give 110%.
Besides, if not for her, I wouldn’t be standing here.
“Huh?” she said, opening her eyes. She then let out a loud yawn while stretching her arms. “Oh! Lune! Good morning!”
“It’s midnight,” I said.
Her body floated off the couch and flew over to me, wrapping her arms around me. “Technically morning,” she smiled, pressing her cheek against mine. “And how’s my favorite little magical girl? Did you get the chips?”
“Aren’t I your only magical girl?” I asked.
She giggled. “And that’s why you’re my favorite!”
“So what you’re saying is, if there were others, then there’s a chance I wouldn’t be your favorite.”
Belliney grew puzzled, then let out a moan. “It’s too early to play these word games,” she slurred, still in the process of fully waking up. “How was your day?”
“Eh, so so. Jack was fired from his new job. Again,” I answered as I transformed back into my male self.
“Oh no! Is he gonna be alright?”
“He’ll bounce back and get a new job soon. Always does. I just wish he’d find something that better suits him. Only jobs he’s managed to land are customer service oriented, and you know how Jack can get.”
Belliney nodded. Though she’s never met Jack personally, she’s heard me talk about him enough that she considers him family.
Jack, however, has yet to be made aware of her existence. I don’t need him poking fun at me for being a cutesy magical girl.
“Oh yeah, I ran into Red Sandrea today,” I continued.
“Oh? What’s she up to?”
“The usual. Causing mischief, absorbing negative energy, sending people into a panic. Bad guy stuff.”
“Tell her hi for me next time you see her.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure she’d be thrilled to hear that from her archnemesis’ partner.”
Belliney smiled. “Sounds like you had quite the busy day! Not to one-up you or anything, but I had a rather busy day myself!”
“I’ll say,” I commented, looking at the disaster of a mess she made in the living room. Garbage and empty wine and beer bottles were everywhere.
She noticed my sarcastic tone as I looked around the living room and pouted. “You think I was just bumming around all day, don’t you?”
“Hmph!” With a snap of her fingers, all of the trash in the living room was cleared up. And not just that, but the shelves were dusted, carpet vacuumed, and furniture straightened up; it looked like a top-tier cleaning service did a deep clean of the room in the blink of an eye.
“I’ll have you know I had a mountain of work to do up in The Celestial Plane! It took forever!” she said while plopping on the couch, her arms crossed. But as she continued talking, she sunk into the couch until she was sprawled out again, gripping a cushion.
On several occasions, she’s brought up doing business in “The Celestial Plane,” the realm she’s from and, supposedly, the source of all magic in the universe. What exactly she does up there, I haven’t the slightest.
Maybe it’s like IT? She and other Celestial beings are doing a bunch of work behind the scenes with me, and the rest of the world is oblivious to it. If that’s the case, then the fact I think nothing’s going on means she’s doing a bang-up job!
“Good work,” I told Belliney, patting her head.
She glanced up at me and smiled. “Thank you!”
“So, how long were you up in The Celestial Plane working?” I asked.
“Mmmm. About five minutes? Give or take.”
I paused after receiving her answer. “Five minutes?”
“Uh-huh,” she nodded.
“Like, you were up there for five minutes, and the rest of the day you were home?”
“Well, I did go drop some dry cleaning off, but other than that, yup!”
What dry cleaning? I don’t recall having anything worth dry cleaning, and she never changes out of that robe!
Honestly, I can’t tell if she’s being sincere or if she’s pulling my chain.
I frowned. “I’m taking my praise back.”
“Eehh?!” she whined. “But why?!”
“You just said you were working for only five minutes! That’s not worthy of praise!” I argued.
“But it was a really, really hard five minutes!” she shot back. “I had to send out an email and everything! …D-don’t give me that look! Five minutes is like an eternity in The Celestial Plane!”
“You don’t believe me!!!” she cried.
“I believe you,” I responded.
“No, you don’t! You’re looking at me like I’m a stain on society! Like someone who uses a shopping cart and leaves it in the middle of the parking lot! Or someone who uses up all the toilet paper and doesn’t put on a new roll when there’s a stack right next to the toilet! Or someone who doesn’t like to tip but then keeps dining in restaurants anyway!”
She latched onto my arm as I began to walk away.
“Why’re you leaving me?!” she cried.
“I’m just going to the kitchen to make something to cook dinner!”
Hearing that, she quickly got to her feet. “Oh! Let me help! That way, you won’t think of me as a lazy good for nothing!”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
“No, no! That’s quite alright. I’m capable of cooking myself something,” I said.
I suddenly found myself sitting at the kitchen table, with Belliney having “poofed” me there. A moment later, an elaborate feast appeared on the table before me. It reminded me of the table spreads you’d see in movies set in medieval times in a royal court. Fresh salads and steamed veggies. Hearty soups and savory stews. Meat pies bursting with filling stacked atop one another. A mountain of freshly baked rolls falling out of a bread basket. And in the center of it all was a giant smoked whole pig with an apple shoved in its mouth, glistening with barbeque sauce.
There was so much food stacked on the table that I worried it would give way and crash to the floor at any moment.
The sight of it made my mouth water. One whiff sent my stomach growling, demanding me to start shoving the food into my mouth as quickly as possible. “What’re you waiting for?! It’s food! Right in front of you! Start eating!”
But my brain knew better. Past experiences have trained me to hesitate. It may look delicious. It may even smell heavenly. But deep down, I knew what awaited me if I were to dare a single bite.
“Tadah~!” Belliney cheered. “I’ve been improving my magic cooking game!”
I nodded. “Gotta say, it certainly looks it.”
“Uh-huh!” she replied, desperately wanting my appraisal like a dog having just retrieved a stick in a game of fetch.
“Smells appetizing too.”
“Mmhm!” she nodded enthusiastically. “Go ahead and dig in!”
I looked up at Belliney, then over at the food. My fight or flight instincts wanted to kick in, but I also didn’t want to upset her after she put in the effort to make all this food. It being magicked in an instant was irrelevant.
I grabbed a grilled chicken drumstick. Its lemon glaze reflected the kitchen light, giving it a beautiful shine.
Belliney’s eyes locked onto me as I hesitantly moved the drumstick to my mouth. I opened my jaw and bit down.
Its taste and texture were akin to biting into a softball sized, flavorless cheese puff.
That’s the thing with magic. You may be able to summon anything in existence, but it can’t make up for a lack of taste.
Please log in to leave a comment.