Funny Joke

Uwaaa... I've really done it now. Sure, I wanted to get noticed, but what was I thinking cross-dressing, furthermore to school?! Ahhh I'm already near the school entrance ceremony. I can't change even if I want to, can't be late on the first day of school. Hearing people whisper made me more anxious. Although, it seems the look on their eyes towards me wasn't out of disgust, it still wasn't a comfortable feeling being stared at.

Oh? Hello there. My name's Kanako, and as you can see, I'm at a dilemma due to my silly actions. Currently, I'm walking to school. Cross-dressing. Setting aside the painful gazes from the other students, nothing seems out of ordinary.

How did I get myself in this situation, you ask? Well, I'd like to know that my self!

But before that, let me give a proper introduction first. Once again, I'm Tanaka Kanako. 15 years old. I lived in Kyoto until last summer. I'm currently attending Kokusai High School in Tokyo, with a chance of being labeled as a cross-dressing pervert.

But I can assure you, I really was, or rather am, just a normal person. Not that long before school began, I was tired of my awfully dull and boring student life. Normal looks, normal height, normal intelligence­, etc.- the very definition of a mob character, the one where their face wouldn't even be drawn in a manga, someone you'd easily forget after a page or two.

I hated this; I want to be one of the cool kids too!!

So, during summer, I resolved myself to change everything about me. I experimented to try out all different sorts of outfits, and tried to understand fashions which I don’t really get either. I watched countless shows about cool mysterious men and tried to mimic their personalities. Needless to say, that didn't work out and ended up sounding like an edge lord with 8th grader syndrome.

It was gradually getting harder coming up with ideas, one that could gather attention, but not purposely so. I didn't want to seem like an attention-whore and be disliked from the get-go. That's where I had the "brilliant" idea.

I could humorously dress up as a female student and just brush it off as a joke the day after, or shortly after the brief self-introductions. Mhmm, yeah, that could work.

Maybe due to the heat of the sun, and probably because I was getting desperate coming up with ideas, I wasn't in my right mind and didn't think it through properly. Buying a schoolgirl uniform, a wig, and makeups felt somewhat remorseful, and not only that, it took my whole summer allowance to buy them. I was thankful I had already left home to live in an apartment near the school.

Next day after, I already regretted it but after coming that far, it would turn out to be a waste. I couldn't help but resolute myself, to become a natural high school girl you wouldn't even imagine once that it'd be a dude all along.

I felt like cursing at my not too long, past self for coming up with this idiotic joke. I couldn't turn back now. Going inside the building, presumably the auditorium, I seated in a chair near the front since most back seats were occupied. After a while, someone stepped in front of the stage and began his overly long speech, who I assume to be the principal.

'I guess every school has those boring ceremony speeches too, huh...'

Thinking to myself while getting bored at how awfully long the principal was taking. I didn't seem to be the only one who thought that way though. As I looked around the hall, there were students yawning, some using their phones, and some quietly talking to each other.

I even caught some students glancing at me then looking away when I made eye contact. I couldn't really make up the expressions on their faces since it was quite dark excluding the stage which had high lights to it.

The speech was finally over and shortly after, the whole welcoming ceremony concluded. We were directed to go to our designated classrooms respectively. Throughout the time I walked all the way to my classroom, it was really hard to not notice stares I've gotten. It really dawned on me how utterly embarrassing what I'm doing right now.

'I should at least pick a seat where I could attract little attention'

How laughable. Quite the opposite from the original goal I had in mind in the first place. Certainly, I succeeded attracting attention, not just the way I intended.

'Just what is cool and mysterious about a guy cross-dressing?!'

While cursing silently at myself, the homeroom teacher casually walked in the room. She was quite beautiful, and seemed like a cheerful, charismatic person, yet still gave off a sophisticated manner. She then gave a short introduction. She looked fairly young for her age, but yeah, some lucky people really were just born that way.

It was then, the students' turn for introduction. One by one, students finished. Normally, it wasn't something to be nervous about, but I felt like sweating buckets. As if a countdown to my public execution, cold sweat ran through my back as my turn approaches. I didn't have time to decide how I would go about my introduction. I could still brush all of it off as a joke, like I originally intended to, but thinking about it logically, wouldn’t that definitely make me labeled as a cross-dressing freak who has a bad sense of humor?

The teacher called out my name as if implying my turn. She already knew all of her students' names since she had a list, but the students in particular didn't know one another, with the exception of students who were classmates before, it was more of a way for the students to know each other, than for her.

"My name's Tanaka Kanako. Nice to meet you all."

Say it. Please say it's just a funny little joke, that you're a guy cross-dressing before it's too late!

I couldn't. No, I didn't have the courage to. I could only hope now someone notices and call out the joke for me.

Wait, that's actually bad too. Oh, my god. What have I gotten myself into? I hope no one notices now...

I was getting stares more so than usual but none looked away this time. It's like they finally had a reason to look at me. I sat down without saying anything further and the introduction went on like normal.

But the next students weren't getting stared daggers at like I did.

'Hey hey, isn't that kinda rude?'

It's like implying I'm a weirdo, an outcast, I mean I sure was, but they didn't have to make it so obvious.

Homeroom ended. Once I calmed down, I looked around the classroom and saw a familiar face. She was a friend I knew since middle school. The only close friend I made, actually. Of course, I knew other guys my age, obviously, but only as far as an acquainted kind of relationship.

I decided to finally talk to her. I went out of my seat, and simply because of that, I was looked at again.

'Oh, c'mon man, I only stood up!'

Do I need to get gawked at every time I do something? I would never get used to this.