Life constructs the reality

That lonesome room with a depressing aura to it was the second-floor library of the Mathematics department at Yasuhiro University. It was also rarely visited, and was not much exposed to sunlight; therefore it was the perfect place for Ayane Yushu to spend his time.

“You know… there’s no need for you to follow me now, is it Kuw– Himari-san? I am also willing to accept that you confessed to me as a game or a joke between your friends. So... you know… maybe you can take another table to sit, as I am okay…”

“Hmm… So you don’t like me sitting near you like this, Yushu-kun? Also, I really like you Yushu-kun, that’s neither a joke nor a game, so I am waiting for you to tell me your answer…”

“...”

“What a-answer?”

“Yushu-kun... Yushu-kun… even the most romance-oblivious characters in manga or anime would understand if a girl told them this clearly. Are you deliberately toying with the feelings of a young girl? Shuku-shuku… ”

Himari pretended to fake-wipe her fake tears.

“...Himari-san, what do you l-l-like about me? I am a one-handed, lonely guy with suicidal tendencies as you just witnessed yesterday. Why would you want to confess to me? And, if you’re impressed by what the other students address me… ‘the loner genius’, you shouldn’t be because–”

“–I know, Yushu-kun…”

“...I know that they started calling you this after you lost your dominant hand. Everybody knows you’re very good at studies and also that you don’t have any friends, but the gossip and rumours really started going wild after that day you came to school like this. This all ended with that cool nickname ‘the loner genius’.”

Yushu quietly listened as she spoke, but his eyes were seemingly lost. It seemed that Yushu was thinking about something, probably about the day he lost his right hand, which became the final blow to shatter his attachment to this life.

“Yushu-kun, you should know, I don’t care about all that. I said I like you, and I mean it.”

“...”

“Still no answer Yushu-kun? That’s cold…”

Himari made her usual pouting face, which Yushu had already seen twice before, but for some reason this time, he really found it a bit cute, and funny, so much that he almost broke a smile.

“Hm, maybe it’s because you don’t really know me. You’re kind of anti-social, so it cannot be helped. I’ll give you a short introduction about me, it might help you get to your answer.”

“...”

“...My name is Kuwahara Himari, I am twenty years old. I started at Yasuhiro university this fall as a mathematics student. I like drawing and trying new clothes. I always say anything that I think, however idiotic, cruel, sympathetic, intelligent, or haughty it might seem. I do not care about appearances and fake things, and I like you Yushu-kun.”

Yushu heard every word but he still seemed the most surprised when Himari ended her introduction with her feelings for him.

“...Romantically, Yushu-kun… I like you romantically. I am saying this just because I just remembered a manga character who misinterpreted the feelings behind ‘I like you’, and you kinda give the same vibes as him.”

“...”

“Himari-san, what book are you reading?”

The conversation had really gotten out of Yushu's comfort zone. He had always been bad at talking to others but never had he expected to have such a conversation, so this was his desperate attempt to steer the topic.

“It’s just a light novel… and before you ask where I got this, I am telling you that I brought it with me. Also, do you know you’re bad at changing the topic?”

“Uhm… n-no… I-I mean– yes… n-no…”

“Yushu-kun, tell me directly, do you like me or not?”

This time Himari was serious, this time she really was expecting an answer from Yushu who had no idea what to say. Fortunately for him, before he could say anything, he heard somebody’s voice. It was Matsunaga Chiharu, Himari’s best friend.

“...Himari… Himari… why are you here? I have been looking all over for you. I heard that you confessed to that one-handed–”

Due to the position of the library’s entrance, and the fact that Himari was standing just in front of Yushu, Chiharu had no idea that Yushu was also present in the room. But, before she could complete her sentence, she had come near enough to see that the guy she was referring to was sitting right there.

“...A-Ayane-san…?”

“Chiharu, what’re you doing here?”

Himari spoke wide-eyed, surprised.

It wasn’t the first time that Yushu had heard someone talk about him like that, so it didn’t really hurt him. Maybe it would be more appropriate to say that Yushu had become numb to such things. But even then, Yushu quietly got up and leaned towards the door while Chiharu was still feeling embarrassed.

“Himari-san, I’ll talk to you some other time, I have to go to a class now.”

Yushu’s voice felt so dark, so empty and so heavy that even Himari couldn’t attempt to speak anything after that to him.

“Chiharu… what’re you saying? Are you an idiot?”

“...Sorry… Sorry, I had no idea that he was sitting here.”

“–That isn’t the issue here, idiot.”

While Himari continued to scold Chiharu for her attitude towards Yushu; with a solemn look and gloomy face, Yushu walked out of the library and went to his class. Although, for some reason that he couldn’t really understand, Yushu felt a bit more out-of-place than usual.

“–Sorry… I don’t know why I said it like that, I didn’t mean to, really! I’ll also apologise to Ayane-san. But… wait, did you really confess to Ayane-san in front of everyone? You never even told me that you had feelings for someone, Himari… what is going on?”

“Uh… it’s a bit of a long story… I’ll tell you some other day. For now, I have to go somewhere important. I’ll tell you later…”

“–Himariii… b-but we have a class today”

Himari ran outside the building, while Chiharu could only increase the volume of her voice in the hope that Himari would listen. But, of course, Himari had another thing cooking inside her brain, therefore that apparently didn’t work.

“I’m home… Heh… I said the words again, even though I know all too well that it’s just me.”

Yushu had just come home from the university and was greeted by the ever-silent, ever-same, and ever-lonely house as usual. His sigh and his words were all too gloomy, and it was obvious that he was trying to encapsulate that biting silence, even if it meant saying words that he held in his deepest heart.

“Wait… what’s this smell? Something’s cooking… Did I leave the stove on?”

A panicked Yushu sprinted towards the kitchen in hopes to find something burning or worse.

“...Welcome home!”

“Huhhhh… Ehhhhh??”

“Hi-Hi-Himari-san… why… wh-why… h-how? W-Why are you in my house? How did you get in?”

“Calm down… calm down Yushu-kun… I am not here to rob you, hehe...”

Himari was busy frying something in the pan and was wearing a yellow apron which was bordered with pink and had a cute image of a cat printed on it. That suited quite a bit and even though Yushu wasn’t trying to notice, he did think about how lovely she was looking.

Yushu was also certain that Himari had brought her apron and also the groceries needed for the cooking. This would not have been something unusual if Yushu had some idea as to how Himari got inside the house without a key.

At that moment, Yushu was fully suspecting Himari to have broken inside by tampering with the lock or using some kind of master key or anything that robbers do.

“Wait for a bit near the dining table, Yushu-kun, I am almost done with Karaage (fried chicken).”

“...”

“What’s going on? Why is Himari-san in the house? How did she get in? I am very certain that I had locked the gate and the spare key is well hidden beneath the fourth flower pot in our garden.”

“...”

Yushu continued to think of everything that he could, but still couldn’t figure out the mystery. More than that, he was concerned as to how and why Himari continues to present herself in his life in a very unexpected way, to say the least.

Himari saved him from jumping from the building because she “found out” that he was going to be doing something like that, even when nobody apart from him knew. She then confessed to him in front of everyone, the very next day, and now she’s here in his house, cooking for him.

Although this very peculiar chain of happenings made no sense to Yushu, it might also have been due to the fact that he was quite distracted by the fact that a girl was cooking in his kitchen, and that she was looking very cute in her apron, and that the delicacies that were being prepared smelled insanely good.

“I am done… Can you please take out the dishes and help me carry the food, Yushu-kun?”

“...Yes.”

“...”

“...De-De-Delicious… The food.. yum-yum… is very tasty… chomp-chomp, Himari-san… Thank you very much… yummm…”

Chewing and filling his mouth with ecstatic food was the only thing left in his mind once Yushu started eating. This even moved his mind away from the mind-boggling things that he was just wondering.

“Glad, you liked it Yushu-kun… please eat as much as you like, we have plenty for seconds. By the way, if you like I can also feed you with my hands…”

“Uhhhuhuhuuhh…”

A yet again surprised Yushu almost had the food stuck in his throat hearing Himari and he started coughing violently.

“Calm down… Yushu-kun, have some water… here.”

Drinking the water helped, and Yushu was finally able to gulp that piece of food that he had gobbled down without chewing after hearing Himari asking to feed him with her hands.

“Ha… haa… you know… you’re quite easily flustered, Yushu-kun, it’s like you feel conscious around me… Well, I am here to hear that from your mouth. I want to continue our conversation that was left hanging when Chiharu interrupted us in the library.”

“...”

“...I-I… I-I don’t know what to s-say, Himari-san.”

“Just say what you feel Yushu-kun. I told you that I like you, and you don’t have to question that, but you have to just answer what you feel. It might be that you absolutely despise me, or that you simply don’t like me that much, or that you have no particular feelings at all, or it might be that you absolutely adore me. Anything… anything that you feel about me, I want to know, that’s it. Shouldn’t be too difficult, I think.”

“...”

“I understand Himari-san, but believe me, I really don’t know. I know that I don’t hate you and that I think you’re a very good person and also an honest one, but other than that, I am really blank. And it’s not because of you, you’re–”

“–It’s okay, Yushu-kun, you don’t have to praise me to compensate. It’s fine, and thank you for telling me what you feel. I think–”

While Yushu and Himari were very engrossed in their conversation, suddenly they heard the doorbell ring. For a second, Yushu was startled and it was mainly because he had never heard his doorbell ring before.

Yushu got up and went to open the door, after asking Himari to excuse him for a minute. He was so startled that he didn’t notice that Himari's funny and playful expressions had changed to quite stern ones, ever since the doorbell rang a few moments ago. It was like she knew who was behind that door even without seeing.

“Yes… who is it?”

On opening the door, he found a middle-aged man, maybe in his late thirties. He was dressed in a two-piece suit which looked to be quite new and posh. His cologne had quite a strong smell and his hair was tucked nicely to the side.

“Excuse me, Ayane-san… I apologise for my intrusion. My name is Yamashiro Aoto. I just wanted to ask a small question, if you don’t mind”

“...Uh.. yes Yamashiro-san, but, I am sorry, I am having a bit of a hard time remembering if we have met before.”

“No, Ayane-san, we haven’t met before, I know you from the Yasuhiro University Mathematics Olympiad. I heard that you were the winner of that competition but never showed up to claim your prize.”

Yushu hesitated to speak for a moment as he knew exactly why he wasn’t present at that ceremony. But, he wasn’t sure how to say that he was at the top of the building trying to end his life to a stranger.

“Uhmm… haha.. yes, sorry, I-I had a thing that-that… came up.”

“Oh, that’s fine, Ayane-san. By the way, I just wanted to ask if you knew Kuwahara Himari-chan from your university?”

While Yushu was conversing with this stranger, nobody saw that Himari had the most terrified look on her face ever since she heard that doorbell. That cute face, which was just galloping with joy while enjoying teasing Yushu, was now just blank. Her eyes were as dead as Yushu’s and her expressions were colder than his.

Quietly and slowly she stood up like she was forcing herself to do something she desperately didn’t want to do. She gradually walked towards the door where that man stood. The man saw her come before Yushu could since Yushu was facing the door. He smiled… a smile that many won’t categorise as a smile, as there was something very dark and devious about it.

“Yushu-kun…”

A very dull tone from Himari was very unusual of her, so much that Yushu who had only known her for less than a day noticed that something wasn’t right.

“...Himari-san, are you okay? Do you know Yamashiro-san?”

“...”

“Yes, Yushu-kun, I am okay, I will be going with Yamashiro-sama now, thank you for having me today.”

“Huh.. ah.. Um-y-yeah… o-okay…”

Yushu struggled to understand what changed in just a few moments.

“T-Thank-you Himari-san for today… the food was delicious…”

Himari smiled a little, which looked quite unusual on the face and expressions she was wearing at that time. Although everything happened so fast for Yushu, he understood one thing, and one thing only… which was that he knew nothing about Himari, or that man who changed Himari’s attitude just by his presence.

Given that he talked to her for the first time just yesterday, it wasn’t unusual, but Himari had been so involved lately, that he knew he wanted to at least get to know her, even if just a bit more. He knew that he wanted to find why Himari’s face changed so drastically in the presence of that man.

Thus the suicidal boy who was saved and confessed to, by a girl from his university determined to find more about the girl and her reality of life.