Did I Do Something Wrong?

“I had fun.”

Shudder.

I stare at the message Koi left to me after she suddenly left last week, and am left with a strange feeling in my gut.

It’s like loss but I haven’t lost anything.

The message is a happy sentiment but it doesn’t feel nice to read.

I should probably elaborate.

Since that message, there has been no contact between the two of us.

Despite the fact I’ve tried hopelessly to spark another conversation, she hasn’t replied for seven days.

It’s been okay though; the day after our hangout or our date or whatever that was, Mayu started her subathon which is still going even at this very moment.

A subathon is something that online streamers challenge themselves to do sometimes – they remain on camera and live for as long as the audience continues donating. Each donation adds time and for as long as there is time, they are there – even as they sleep.

It isn’t unheard of for these streams to continue throughout the whole month!

For a vtuber like Mayu, it’s an interesting experience. Interesting in the fact that I wonder what makes it so magical.

Take me now.

I’m sitting at my chair, watching her sleep.

A virtual asset on top of a virtual asset for a bed.

But it’s the cutest thing ever!

Sometimes she turns and moves in her sleep, even letting out cute little noises that completely wash away every little bit of pain I’ve felt in my life.

I am so glad I live in the age that I do!

Swinging around in my chair, looking at Mayu as my eyes meet the screen on rotation, makes me realise how lucky I am that she started this when she did.

The announcement of this subathon was very sudden; there was no mention of it publicly until the day it started – which just happened to be a day that I was feeling weird, thinking about how Koi and I left things.

Thank you, Queen Mayu!

Once again you have delivered in my time of need; not only for a single short stream, but for a currently endless stream, taking me away from my girl troubles.

Girl troubles?

I feel like I have betrayed all my brethren in the chat of Mayu’s stream – what would they think if they knew one of us was thinking about a girl who wasn’t Mayu?

Much less…

Much less…

Actually hung out with one for a whole day!

My eyes dart to either side of my room, as if vigilant about being exposed by my friends that dwell in the far reaches of my computer screen.

Ugh.

I honestly feel like if Koi knew this crap that was going through my head right now, she’d run away as fast as she could.

Ooft, okay too soon.

She kind of did do that…

It only took that one thought, that one strange warp that took my brain from Mayu to Koi. It seems as if all roads are leading back to her these days.

I wonder how Mayu would feel knowing that every time I thought about her, I ended up thinking about another girl.

My hands grip the armrests of my chair as I pull myself up and start walking to my kitchen – laden with dirty dishes and empty food packaging.

Dizzy.

It was probably a bad idea to start walking the second I decided to stop spinning around in my chair.

Despite the fact that the area around my computer is nicely lit with a lamp and the brightness of the screen; the rest of my apartment is shrouded in darkness.

The mess from my kitchen has a mysterious haze around it, as if there could be all manner of disgusting objects that I can’t even see.

Taking my mind off that, I decide to just pace back and forth between the kitchen and my computer.

Did I do something wrong?

Why did she just up and leave?

These thoughts have been on my mind since that very moment, despite wanting to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling they leave with me, I’m unable to.

No amount of Mayu, or anything else really has been able to stop that.

Even if they provide a good distraction.

Ouch!

I stub my toe on the foot of my desk and end up swinging back into my chair.

Luck really hasn’t been on my side.

Back to Mayu. Back to Mayu.

Staring at the sleeping Queen, I can only think one thing…

Was I right about the whole maid café thing?

I don’t even know why that would be weird, I understand people are embarrassed by it of course – but she knows how much of a lame shut-in I am anyway.

Right?

Having a friend who works at a maid café is one of the coolest things I could imagine.

Although, thinking about Koi’s personality, maybe pulling off the whole polite maid routine would be a bit too troubling for her.

I grab onto the edge of my desk, pulling me and my chair forward so I can reach the keyboard.

“Maid café near me”

Click.

The great thing about living in a large and busy city is that everything you could ever want or hope to want is within distance of public transport.

Yes, I’m twenty-three years old and don’t own a car.

I’m lucky enough to even have a driver's license at this point.

The only reason I have any sort of identification is to prove that I’m an adult to…

Uh…

Buy certain games.

For research purposes! Research purposes!

They make adult games that aren’t always lewd, okay? Sometimes it just has very mature themes or violence.

Don’t make me out to be the kind of horny protagonist that I’m not!

Scrolling through the search results reveals a myriad of different maid cafes to visit.

I don’t even know if I’ve ever been to a real one before; I went to some that were put on in high school but I don’t think it’s the same thing.

Half of the girls in the class were really against it which created a lot of friction in the café.

I remember not knowing whether or not the maid serving me at the time would treat me like a king or like dirt they found on the ground.

That kind of reminds me of someone.

Maybe that’s where this all started.

No matter! That was a weird tangent…

I guess I’m going to a maid café!