David’s Dating Dilemmas, Part 1

It had been a month since David condemned his parents to Hell, and two weeks since they were released. He had heard nothing from them, but Morgan assured him they were fine. It was good enough for him. He wasn’t going to question what they had been subjected to. Whatever it was, it hopefully suited their treatment of him for most of his life.

He cracked open some peanut shells as he stared out the window at the back of the property. He didn’t know why, but today felt like a quiet day for introspection. A day in which he could sit back and ponder his past and what he could have done better. Each bite of a peanut took him back to a period when he could have played and spent time with friends and family. The salty, nutty taste was nostalgic in a way, and the salty dust that coated his fingers felt like the sans of time. It took him back to a simpler time when his grandparents would give him gems of knowledge.

Work is good. It’s important to stay ahead. But if you run too far ahead of the herd, pretty soon, there won’t be other horses to support you.

He didn’t really get it at the time. It felt like a stretch of an analogy. However, he understood what he had meant now. Losing something precious all for the sake of getting ahead... It wasn’t even because he wanted to but because he was told to.

He bent down to pick up some shells that had dropped on the floor. After he didn’t want to leave it for any vermin to get in. As he tossed them in the trash, he moved his head back to the window. There, he saw a figure, standing just shy of the property line.

The figure was definitely on a horse of some kind, but aside from that, the figure seemed to just be sitting there. It unnerved him to no end. Did this person assume that they could get help? Was this one of the neighbors? He didn’t want to risk it.

Getting up, he walked to the back and opened the door to shout at the person. “Hey, could you not stand on the edge-??”

As he looked over, he found the figure had vanished. No traces of them or where they could have gone remained. All that did remain was the dust blowing across the property as the winds flew across the land. It was definitely mildly unnerving. He slowly walked back, never looking away from where the figure was.

He got back inside, looking around for Morgan. He gently scratched his chin at the thought of what he had seen. Maybe it was a prank of some kind, his mind had attempted to rationalize. She seems a bit mischievous at times. I’ll talk to her.

His wife was currently in their bedroom watching her soap operas. She hugged her pillow tight with watery eyes. “Kim, don’t do it!” She pleaded at the screen. “It’s a trick! He doesn’t really love you!!”

David watched his fiancé with a confused expression on his face. This was Season 3 of My Deepest Desires, a show that had become the object of her affection for quite a while. It had gotten to the point where he had to drag her out of bed for breakfast some mornings. It felt like had she actually pulled a prank, he would have seen her move. Unless, he thought for a moment, a hand on his chin. Was this Morgan a fake Morgan?

Morgan’s eyes welled up with tears as she watched the third season come to an end. Such a gripping series, full of action, suspense, and drama, and there were still 17 seasons. She tentatively rubbed her eyes to get the tears out. She wondered where things could go from there. Only one way to find out, she thought as she took hold of the remote and clicked play, only to feel a finger poke her cheek.

On the bed next to her, David was gingerly pressing his coarse finger into her soft, demonic skin over and over. His gaze was locked onto her as if to try and crack open her insides with his mind. “Uhhh… Honey? Is there anything I can help you with?”

David was quiet, his eyes squinting more intensely. “... Are you real?”

“Huh?”

“Just… Please. Tell me if you’re real. Tell me if you’re real and that everything is totally normal.”

Morgan blinked in utter confusion. “Honey… Did you happen to consume any plants that were of odd shape or texture?”

He shook his head but maintained his gaze. “Just my peanuts. Wait… Was there something wrong with those peanuts? Did they change?? Is this the prank??”

The Devil rubbed her face, for once slightly annoyed by her fiancé’s presence. “Honey, I am not pranking you. I’ve been here all day. Why would you think I would be pranking you when I’ve been here most of the time?”

“Well, your magic-”

“I need to at least be looking at the place where I’m casting magic, dear.”

David blinked and scratched his head. “Wait… Then how does the Devil go around doing stuff all over the world?”

“Oh my fuck…” She muttered, taking a breath. “World Mirror. It lets me see the hearts of men and hone in on them, then lets me use my magic to cause great evil. I have one, Grandpa has one, there. Now, can I get back to my soaps, or is there another question for the board?”

David opened his mouth to say something, but the logic presented to him was fairly solid. He couldn’t think of any way that she could be behind it at that point. He rubbed his head and let out a tired sigh. “Sorry honey… Maybe I just imagined that guy on the horse-”

“Uhuh, yeah. Cool.” She muttered as she pointed a finger at David. With a simple flick, he was sent back into the hallway and the door slammed shut. All he could do was lie there and try and figure out what was the source of that hallucination. Ugh… This is getting me nowhere… I need to get out of the house.

~~~

David’s feeling of uneasiness did not leave him upon exiting the house. The whole time, from the bus to the trolley to the city itself, he felt like he was being followed. He would look over his shoulder every now and then to see if this mysterious stalker was still pursuing him. Only for a brief moment would he catch a glimpse of that horse-mounted figure in the distance before it vanished in the waves of heat.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a baby blue cloth bandana. The heat was especially unbearable on these days. Perhaps, his mind would consider, the illusions of the sun were getting to him. He never had a problem with it before, but with the stresses of life these days, there was a possibility. Maybe he needed something old and cool to relax his mind. In his mind, there was no place and no person older and cooler than The Trash Heap and its owner/bartender Harold.

As he entered the seedy bar, he noticed three things. One, the atmosphere was way different than it was at night. It was mellower and more sluggish, like the people struggling with a hangover the next morning would be. Two, it was still hot as hell, and the fist dent in the air conditioner was likely the cause of that. Three, Harold was not behind the bar. Instead, it was a wiry woman with a short black ponytail and clothes coming straight out of a punk concert. Her porcelain skin was heavily tattooed and her face was adorned with piercings.

This must have been the day bartender, David thought as he walked towards the bar. It only made sense there was more than one person handling the counter a day. After all, Harold was skilled, but he was one person. There was no reason to assume that the burly could be running the joint 24/7. Unless he was a demon. Was he actually this woman? Was this a shapeshifter taking his place so that it could stalk him and cause him to-?

He quickly slapped himself. He needed to get a hold of himself. This paranoid mindset was driving him off the wall, and the only cure was alcohol. Perfect logic. He approached the bar and took a seat on one of the stools. “A Two-Fist-”

He paused. He didn’t really need to go this all out. He just needed to cool off. Letting out a sigh, he held up a finger. “A pint of apple-peach cider.”

The woman nodded in confirmation. She quickly poured some booze into a mug and slid it over in one fluid motion. David caught it and began to drink. The taste of it was definitely different from the cheap pisswater. It was fruitier and lighter, like the two fruits giving him gentle kisses on the cheek. He always went for the cheap beers to save money and to keep up his reputation. Those were more of an open palm slap from a homely woman who expected action on the first date. This was nicer, and he enjoyed it far more.

“So… Is Harold in right now?” He finally said, foam still gracing his upper lip.

The woman raised an eyebrow at him. “Does he look like he’s in?” Her voice was rough and bitchy. It was definitely matching someone who worked at an establishment like this.

“N-No, I mean…” He tried to find the right words in the brief moments of silence. “Is he upstairs?”

She placed a firm hand on the counter and leaned in. “Why? What do you want?”

“I-I uhhh…” He gulped in the lump in his throat. She was getting very close to his bubble, and he didn’t like it. “Wanted to… Talk to him?”

“Oh, of course.” She slipped back behind the counter, crossing her arms. “All you fucks want to see him. It’s always Harold Harold Harold!” She scowled harder as she gripped her arm tired. “I’m fuckin’ sick of it!” She raised an arm high up in the air and brought it down on the counter. The resulting sound was like that of a judge slamming their gavel against the marble.

“... Owie owie owie owie owie!”

She leaped backward, nearly slamming into the assorted liquors stacked on the shelves. The whole time, she waved her arm up and down and hugged it close. It looked as if she were about to cry.

“M-Miss, are you okay??”

“Sh-Shut up!” The bartender snapped back, crouching down to cradle her hand. “Don’t look down on me!”

“I mean… Kinda hard when you’re just curled up on the floor like that.”

“S-Stop being mean!” She sniffled as she hunched further. Her gruff voice had changed to a gentler, sweeter tone. Her voice acting had to have been impressive to pull off a trick like this.

“H-Here, let me help you.” David reached behind the counter and grabbed the first aid kit. He knew where it was after needing to patch himself up plenty of times. Opening the case, he inspected what he had to work with. With a nod, he reached over the counter and grabbed hold of the hunched-over barkeep. There was confusion from her, but as he started patching up the arm, all became clear.

This was a truly bizarre sight. What he thought was some hardcore punk bartender was currently sniffling on top of the counter like a child after a bike accident. David gently placed a soothing ointment onto the rapidly bruising spot before wrapping it in a patch bandage.

“There. Does that feel better?” He looked up at her for confirmation. She nodded with a sniffle as she rubbed her eyes clean of tears. It was adorable in a way, but he wasn’t about to patronize her after that blow to her ego and hand.

Not long after the bartender had been patched up, Harold stomped downstairs, a double-barreled shotgun in hand. As soon as he spotted the lithe Mexican on the stool, he lowered it down with a confused but amused expression on his grizzled, beard-laden face.

“Well, ain’t this a sight…” He set the gun on the counter and took a seat next to the two. “Didn’t expect to see you back for a while, not after you vanished with that fancy lady of the night and all that.”

“What?” David eyed his friend and shook his head with a mildly annoyed sigh. “Man, she wasn’t a hooker…”

“Well, what else could she have been? She was in here of all places, and the only person worth respecting that comes in this dumpster fire is sitting in front of me.”’

David grabbed his own arm and rubbed it gently. “Well… That’s what I came here for. I need some serious advice.”

Harold held a beefy, callus-laden hand up. “Wait, lemme guess. You married her shortly after leaving the place and then she turned out to be a psycho.”

“Well… Yes and no. And I don’t know if I should have other people I don’t know listening in on this conversation.” He turned to the female barkeep. “N-No offense.”

The woman stayed silent as Harold wrapped an arm around her. “Ah, her? She’s my girl, Dave.”

“Wait… Your girl?”

“Ah, right. Forgot. Dave, this is Sarah-”

“I-It’s Viper!”

Harold held up a hand in apology. “Right right, Viper. Viper, this is David, the bouncer who works for free booze at night.”

Viper raised an eyebrow. “Wait… This is Moreno, the guy you always talk about?” She eyed the thin man up and down. “You look nothing like I expected.”

“Yeah? Well, you don’t act like I expected.”

This earned him an angry pout and dismissal from Viper while Harold chuckled. “Yeah so, we met a while ago when I was restocking, and then we just kind of decided to go out. After some time, she moved in with me and started manning the bar.” He pulled out his phone and showed David a photo. It was of Harold, the biggest smile plastered on his face as his arm of a delicate woman in a bright sundress and silky black hair down to her back. Naturally, David looked up and down from the photo to Viper in confusion.

“Ah right. Well, she wanted to fit in with the crowd and prove that she was tough, so she went through a big makeover. Told her she didn’t have to do it, but she just… Went for it.” Harold shrugged. “Anyways, she’s trustworthy. She can keep a secret.”

“Alright… Only cause you vouch for her…”

~~~

The story that followed had David recounting everything that happened, from the reveal of Morgan’s true self to the ultimatum he was stuck with. He even talked about what he did with his parents with just a bit of pride hidden behind those words. The whole time, he pulled up pictures and videos of Morgan’s true form to prove that he wasn’t lying.

When it was all over, Harold was taken so aback that he rested his head against the palm of his hand. “Jesus Christ kid… Marrying the Devil… I think in terms of the insane shit you pulled, this has to be the most. Shoulda known there was something up with her from her height alone.”

Viper meanwhile, was shocked to her core, nursing a fruity cocktail she made as a means of remaining calm. With nothing from her, David spoke up. “I just don’t know what to do, guys. I feel like my life is gone completely off the rails!!” He gripped his head in complete agony as the weight of it all crushed him.

Harold, however, opted to smack his bouncer over the head.

“Ow!” David shouted, rubbing the back of his head. “Dude, what was that for??”

“For acting like an idiot,” Harold muttered as she stole the mug from David. Before he could protest at the theft, David watched his booze get thrown down the sink. “Hey, I was drinking that!”

“Why? You shouldn’t be drinking that shit.”

“Why, just because it’s a ‘girly-ass’ drink like you shitheads always call it??”

“No, cause it’s 90 degrees and you’ve clearly not been hydrated properly.” Harold slid the mug back over, this time with it being filled with water straight from the tap. “Drink this. You need this more than you need any kind of booze.”

David looked at the clear liquid in his mug for an eternity, the traces of booze swimming in the mug. He sighed and downed the whole thing, and just like that, his mind became clear.

Seeing the calm wash over his friend, Harold spoke up once more. “Now look, man. Has this Morgan chick actually tried to hurt you in any way?”

“Well… No, but you know she could! She’s the Devil!”

Harold shook his head. “Nah, man. If a person loved someone the way she clearly loves you, the thought of hurting them wouldn’t even come to mind.”

“Well, how do you know she actually does??”

“Dude. Trust me. She does.”

Viper finished her second cocktail and nodded. “H-Honestly, it does sound like she cares a lot about you.”

“Exactly. Now, the bigger question. Do you actually like her?”

David went silent. He could hear the sound of passing cars outside along with the chatter of passersby as he considered the query. Liking her? Did he actually? That couldn’t be possible, could it? “Well, I mean… She’s-”

“She’s not just the Devil, Dave. She’s Morgan, and she’s a person. A demon, yeah, but she’s a person too. She clearly has emotions and thoughts of her own and such. Why focus on that one part of her when she’s done that much for you. Fuck’s sake man, she sent your parents to Hell for you!”

David sat back, looking down at his feet. Harold could see the troubled look in his eyes as he hugged the empty mug to his chest. “It’s because of that, isn’t it…?”

David nodded, and Harold sighed. “Listen, man. You fucked up then. I won’t lie. But that won’t mean that you stay fucking up. The point is to learn from your mistakes.”

“But… I’m not supposed to make mistakes.”

“Yes, you are! Everyone does! Hell, computers make mistakes! The point is to learn and move on!” Despite this, David was still as silent as ever, and Harold shook his head in defeat. He grabbed a garbage bag stuffed full of refuse from behind the counter. He held it out to the man. “At least do me a favor before you go. Take this out to the back.”

David grabbed hold of the bag with a nod before slipping out through the back. There, he found the back alleys to be as disgusting as before, with the smell of old trash and hobo piss lingering in the air. He spotted the dumpster and walked over to it. Was he really being this much of a shallow, petty asshole over something in the past? Was there something he was missing?

All those questions came to a halt when he threw the bag over his shoulder and turned to face a skeletal horse staring him right in the face. His eyes widened when he saw its rider, a full-on skeleton in ragged clothes and covered in chains.

Back inside, Viper sighed as she cuddled with her boyfriend. “Do you think that David will take the advice well?”

“Oh yeah,” Harold nodded as he ran his coarse hand along her back. “He may be thick in the head sometimes, but he can be pretty rational when he’s not blitzed off his ass. Something tells me he just needs to keep calm and meditate on the whole thing.”

Just then, the sounds of David screaming could be heard. They both spotted him as he ran past at blazing speed, with nothing following close behind.

“Um… Honey…”

Harold cut Viper off with a groan. “I saw. Just… Give him some time…”

~~~

David’s legs carried him as fast as he could go. He tried his best to outrun the skeletal rider pursuing him. However, even the trolley barely got him enough distance between the two. There was no point in waking for the bus. He needed to keep running.

He bolted down the dirt road, kicking up dust with every step. His white tennis shoes quickly became stained in the light yellow dirt, but he no longer cared for cleanliness. All his mind was focused on making it home.

He turned the corner down his street. There it was. His home. He just had a bit farther to go. He tried his best to ignore the rapidly approaching hooves or his mouth quickly becoming dry thanks to the heat and dust. He was almost done.

“FUCK!!”

His foot slammed against a rock sticking out of the ground, causing him to tumble down face first. He barely had time to throw his hands up to shield his face. Luckily, it was enough to prevent a broken nose or lost tooth. Unfortunately, the skeleton horse quickly stopped in front of him, its rider looking down on him despite having no eyes to do so. It opened its mouth.

“Cabrón… Your heart… I must see it…”

“M-My heart…? N-No, my heart needs to stay in my bo-!” His pleading was cut off as suddenly, David found chains connected from the skeleton to his chest. His mouth hung open as there was a tight tugging from inside. He wanted to scream. He wanted to say anything. Wanted to cry out to… To Morgan… Just then, it all became clear.

Before long, the chains retracted, sliding back onto the body of the skeleton. David panted in shock while holding his chest. The skeleton once again spoke. “I am sorry, niño. I needed to make sure of something…” His voice had an obvious Hispanic accent, albeit more akin to one who had not had any water for years.

David looked up. “W-What… What the hell could you be looking for inside my fucking chest that warranted that!!”

“Tu corazón, chico…” He pointed to his own ribcage. “What’s inside it. What you truly feel…”

David stayed quiet, looking down at his chest. The skeleton’s face didn’t show it, but he seemed to have a calm smile about him. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mamón.”

David choked up, covering his mouth. “I’m sorry… Your name is what?”

Mamón.”

David once again restrained himself from bursting out in laughter. The skeleton simply made a gesture with his head as if to roll his eyes. “Laugh as you wish. It is not my true name. Just what I am called. It is only fitting after what I had done to Morgan…”

David’s laughs died as he looked up at him with a more serious expression. “What did you do to her…?”

Mamón gave a dry sigh. “You see… I was not always the calaca you see before you… I was once like you… A man who had a beautiful wife and daughter. I worked a job as a ranch hand. It was not the best job, but I made due. Then…” He paused, looking down.

“What?”

“Bandits… Bandits came. Burned my home and took my family from them. I went mad. Hunted down each one and made them suffer. By the time I found their leader, I wasn’t human… I was…” He choked on his own words. “Un bestia…”

He took a breath. “It made sense that I went to Hell. I deserved it. But back then, I didn’t believe that to be the case. So, I went to the Devil herself. Morgan…” He gave a dreamlike sigh and looked up. “She was beautiful. Her body, her way of operating… She had just gotten the throne… And she looked down upon me. I begged her, told her what happened, but she wouldn’t listen. So, I did the next best thing. I seduced her.”

David remained quiet as the skeleton continued in a melancholic tone. “I did everything. Told her of her beauty, sang for her, walked with her. Before long, she was in the palm of my hand. I begged her to let me go forth and say goodbye to my wife once more before we could continue, and she agreed. I, however, did not intend to come back. Getting my horse, I went skyward to heaven and tried to break in, but they would not let me. My wife saw what I had done and said she would not be with me anymore. When I returned to Hell, I found I was unwelcome there.”

He looked down at his boney hand. “Ever since, I had been roaming the world from ghost city to ghost city, my body becoming a calaca over time as people forgot me. Now, it is just me and my Roberto…” He patted the skeletal horse, who unleashed a ghostly whinny. “It has been over a century, and I still despise myself for my actions…”

“Wow…” David responded. “Now I know why you go by Mamón. That…” He shook his head. “Just to get what you wanted? She’s not an object you can use, she’s-!” He paused in realization. “A person…”

“Orale, niño. Now you are getting it. You see what I failed to see, and your heart shows it. That’s all I want. For her to be happy. I always watch her from a distance when she comes, so I make sure she’s treated right-”

“You!!”

The two men looked away from each other and towards the source of the noise. Tunning towards the two in her strawberry pink heart pajamas was Morgan, a murderous glare in her eyes.

“MARTIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!”

The skeleton flinched and turned his horse around. “Orale! Look kid, just treat her good and all that! Adios, amigoooo!” With that, he rode off as fast as he could, the horse flying off into the sky.

Morgan stopped just in front of David, shaking her fist in indignation. “Yeah, you better run, you no good backstabber! I’ll break your bones next time you come near my fiancé again!” She sighed and turned to face David, looking at him for an agonizingly long time. All of a sudden, she leaped forward and scooped him up. She peppered him in kisses, but rather than object to it, he allowed it to happen.

“My beloved, he didn’t hurt you, did he?”

David shook his head. “Nah, I-I’m fine. I tripped on a rock, though.”

“Then I shall use a rock to break his bones!” David chuckled, making Morgan smile. “I’m so sorry. I should have said something the moment I heard you say a man on a horse. Only Martin would do something so awful as become a disgusting stalker.”

“It’s… It’s okay, Morgan.” He smiled a little. “He didn’t mean any harm. Actually, he helped me figure myself out quite a bit.”

Morgan eyed him for a moment before shaking her head. “Whatever. I still think he’s a massive… Oh, what’s the word.”

“Mamón?”

“Exactly.”

David chuckled again. He looked up at where Mamón, who flew off in a trail of dust, a trail much like a jet stream, and knew the truth. Even if he didn’t fully understand his feeling toward her, he knew that he didn’t hate her. In fact, he might have actually liked her. It was still unclear to him, but he would figure it out.