I Am Inconsiderate

It turns out that having my hand slapped away by a cute girl hurt way more than getting impaled on a massive greatsword.

I’d tried to help Antenora up after Lucrezia got rid of the manacles, but she pretty much flat out rejected me. I wasn’t too miffed, seeing as she had just been tortured by humans but it still hurt, y’know?

Anyway, I busied myself by looting the bodies of the cultists while Lucrezia dealt with her friend’s emotional aftermath.

The corpses actually had quite a bit of gold on them this time, and I was intrigued to find several documents inside one of the head cultist’s pouches.

They were mostly missives detailing plans that I didn’t bother to try and understand since they were written in some kind of vernacular designed for maniacs, but there was one that caught my attention.

Namely, it was a brief report that was written in haste, making the vocabulary actually understandable. For its brevity, it was surprisingly thorough as it explained the sudden and mysterious deaths of the “Twelfth Constellation.”

During my eavesdropping session, I had suspected that the Twelfth Constellation referred to the group of cultists that I’d saved Lucrezia from, but only now was it fully confirmed.

It would appear that there were thirteen groups of cultists in all, referring to themselves as “Constellations.” Each Constellation was led by a head cultist known as a Stellar Bishop and assigned a Shade. Shades were either willingly or forcefully bound warriors who served as their assassins and warriors.

This particular report came from a Shade by the name of Cedric Pyladae who was supposedly assigned to the Twelfth Constellation.

Huh... I lucked out, then, didn’t I? If he was there, I most certainly would’ve died then...

There wasn’t much else I could learn from the documents other than the existence of an archbishop who was being backed by some powerful noble, but then again, I expected something like that already.

I set the documents aside and sauntered over to where Lucrezia and Antenora were sitting. It looked like Lucrezia had already taken the liberty to set the captured Cliodé free, seeing as I saw none of them remaining.

“Hey.” I gave them a small wave, standing at a distance so as to not spook Antenora.

To my surprise, it wasn’t Lucrezia who responded, but Antenora. She stood up and walked toward me, placing her thumb in her mouth. I wasn’t exactly sure what she was trying to accomplish until I saw her wince as she bit down, drawing blood.

Antenora smeared her bloody finger on her left breast, where her heart laid beneath.

“W-Whoa, lady! There’s no need to start hurting yourself! If you hate me that much I’ll go! Yeesh!”

“That is a gesture native to the eastern tribes,” Lucrezia informed me. She explained that Antenora had just given me the highest order of apology that a person from the eastern tribes could. Apparently, the smearing of blood over one’s heart signified sincerity and humility.

It was a gesture done only when expressing overwhelming gratitude or the most sincerest of apologies.

Well, now I feel embarrassed...

“I am Antenora of the Zaltsel clan. I offer you my heartfelt appreciation and my deepest apologies. You saved me. I should not have treated you in such a brusque manner, even if you are a mere human.”

“Hey now, there’s no need to apolo—Wait, what do you mean a mere human!?”

“Ah. A slip of the tongue. I assure you, it will not happen again. It is not often that I speak to humans, and when I do, they are usually violent and uncouth. You seem to be an exception though, as you have displayed intelligence slightly greater than that of a barque.”

So much for an apology! She was just here to push my buttons! She might’ve thought I didn’t know what a “barque” was, but you can bet your ass I saw those things in the bestiary. They were basically apes!

My eye twitched. “Why thank you, Antenora. I never thought there would come a day when I would be compared to a barque. Might I add that you look positively stunning? Like a spider displaying the most elegant of crests for all to see.”

That was an innuendo. Crest spiders didn’t show off unless they were incredibly frustrated in more ways than one, and it seemed that Antenora had understood my barb just fine.

“Ufufu. Is that so? Well, I thank you for the compliment, but I must add—”

“Um... I’m glad that the two of you are getting along so well, but aren’t you forgetting something important, Antenora?”

Antenora smiled thinly at me as Lucrezia interrupted our little verbal duel. Her outer appearance was pleasant enough, but her eyes flashed dangerously as if to say “We’ll settle this another day.”

I returned her gaze with the same icy smile. Any time.

As it turns out, what she had to tell me was actually pretty important. Well, important to Lucrezia, at least. Which... meant that it was going to be important to me too.

I thought it was a bother, but even so, I wanted to be there for her. Especially for this.

Antenora was part of their original group when they were captured, but she managed to escape alone. However, while she was looking for Lucrezia, she ran into Lucrezia’s sister—Aurelia—instead.

After trying to help Aurelia escape, Antenora was discovered and chased down by local militia due to her distinctive budding horns.

She wasn’t sure where they were taken afterward, but she overheard a deal being made with a noble known as Count Oswald. And it just so happened that the count was connected to the Black Constellation.

After rifling through the documents I’d discarded, Antenora and Lucrezia discovered that Count Oswald owned a piece of land not far from here.

It lay to the east, which worked in our favor seeing as that was our planned destination. However, there was one major problem.

Count Oswald’s residence was a large and fortified castle with at least fifty men-at-arms who would be waiting for us.

“I don’t think I can handle fifty soldiers, Lucrezia.”

“But you can punch through armor! I’m sure they’ll be nothing to you!”

I sighed.

“What I mean is that I can’t handle protecting both of you while also beating the shit outta fifty soldiers. And besides, fifty is the minimum.”

“T-Then I’ll fight! I want to fight with you!”

“What!?” I practically exploded when she said that, so I quickly apologized and calmed myself before continuing. “Look, Lucrezia. It might look easy to you when you’re watching me, but it’s extremely dangerous. Didn’t you see how I got skewered?”

“I took care of the cultist that was threatening Antenora, didn’t I?”

“I’m very grateful for that, Lucrezia.” Antenora interjected with a warm smile.

“Yes, but that was different.” I said, shooting Antenora a glare. I didn’t want Lucrezia getting any more ideas about fighting.

I mean... I’m supposed to protect her, right? How can I let her go off fighting beside me? Or worse, fighting by herself.

I shook my head. “In any case, it isn’t happening.”

She frowned. And then, her jaw set in a determined line.

“You can’t tell me what to do. Let’s go, Antenora.”

She stood up and began walking out of the room with Antenora in tow. My heartrate literally doubled.

I didn’t know why Lucrezia was being so adamant about fighting with me.

Gaah! Why can’t she just let me protect her!?

I quickly got up and followed them up, power walking to catch up.

“Hey, I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want you to get hurt, Lucrezia.”

“You’re treating me like I’m a child. Just because you’re stronger than me doesn’t mean you get to do that.”

“I’m not treating you like a child! I just want you to be safe! Can’t you see that!?”

Lucrezia stopped mid-stride and planted her feet firmly on the ground. I had just stared death in the face for the second time mere minutes ago, but I found Lucrezia’s gaze far more frightening.

“What I see is an overbearing human who’s no different than the rest of her race. All you humans want to do is control others and force them to do your bidding. Well, I won’t have it!

“I thought you were different, Ryuuko. I thought you were a good person! I really did. I wanted to believe in you, but it looks like I was wrong. You don’t have to worry; I won’t make the same mistake again! I hate you, Ryuuko!”

She stormed off, leaving me stunned. For the first time since I was born, I genuinely didn’t know what to do. Even in my previous life, I had some semblance of how to react whenever I was pushed around.

This time, I was just at a loss.

Hollow.

Ah... So that’s why...

I thought I had found my purpose during that fight with Jusis. I thought I finally understood myself and why I’d always been running from reality.

I really thought that I had found the one thing that I was missing.

But I was completely wrong.

I didn’t care about Lucrezia. I didn’t cherish her.

Not in the way I wanted to, anyway.

All this time, the only person I’d been thinking about... was myself.

Wanting to protect Lucrezia was just an excuse. The truth was, I “cherished” her because she was the first person to ever interact with me amicably. I wanted to hold on to that feeling as long as I could.

I wanted her to become completely obsessed with me so that I could hold her in my arms forever.

I wanted her to become like those mindless anime girls in those shitty isekai novels that released every week back on Earth.

I wanted the sole purpose of her existence to be my pillar of emotional support.

And as my tears crashed to the ground, I knew deep down... that I was wrong.

So unbearably wrong.

To my surprise, Antenora had stayed behind. She laid a hand on my shoulder as I fell to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Lucrezia is beautiful. She is the most beautiful shurai in history, but... the expression she wore when she departed just now was unbearably ugly. You best make things up to her, Ryuuko.”