Chapter 6: The Priest and the Problems

Pets are not allowed. Phoe is circling around outside the roof of the ballroom probably looking for an opportunity to loot human food. Lucky him.

My clothes are stuffy, or maybe it’s the room. The garden outside doesn’t provide the ‘peace of mind’ as advertised on the itinerary. The other nobles know that I don’t usually show my face at these types of gatherings and when I do, it’s because I need something from Boss. Even then, I don’t stay for long. So they’ve decided to collectively bother me until the High Priest arrives. The ball officially starts at 7:00 but everyone wanting to reign in favor with the king is here well before that. I check the time, 6:44. I sigh, and scan the hall; the king sits in the center of a long table at the back of the room. Most likely so that he can have the best view of me flailing to his heart’s content. Boss and a guard stand at an arm’s length behind him, able to act as he wills at a moment’s notice.

“M’lady, do you plan on attending more formal events? They suit you.”

“Will you visit my estate some time?”

“Mine as well!”

“Allow me the opportunity as well, m’lady!”

One would think after not responding to any of them, they would get the hint and disperse to somewhere they’re wanted. Disgusting.

I break through the infestation and start to head straight for Boss when we make eye contact. She gives me a nearly unnoticeable wave off, telling me not to impend on her work just because I’m asocial. I resign to my own personal hell of interrogations. I check the time on the clock over the head of the arrival door this time because the pests are so close that I can’t raise my wrist without brushing up against one of them. 6:47. Goddamnit.

I trail my eyes back to the most intriguing part of the room. Dotted along the rest of the table are what I assume to be the royal concubines. I didn’t go through the trouble of memorizing their names, but the shoddy crowns on the gaggle of children behind them confirm my musings. The king has no queen or true-blooded children, I believe it’s because he doesn’t want anyone else’s authority in this country to be equal to his without his say-so. I spot Akechi and purse my lips to keep from frowning. 

He cleans up well. 

His hair’s combed back so the band above his brow doesn’t fix strands in his face, obstructing his vision. The velvety royal garments block me from seeing the haven he’s concealing underneath. His pant legs are creased, pressed, and probably still warm from the ironing. His hands remain clasped behind his back to add to the submissiveness of his stance. Don’t get me wrong, just because the man is attractive doesn’t mean I’m attracted to him. His pitiful personality and insistence despite my setting boundaries couldn’t be more of a turn-off. I doubt that that prince will ever understand my side of things, though.

“Now entering the High Priest of the Republic of the Eastern Shattered Archipelago.” the announcer wails.

Can’t say that ten times fast. The hairs on my forearm stand up due to the presence of this gentleman sending a chill down my spine. The nobles who were crowding me before seem to have found new prey for their schemes as the ballroom goes silent at his opulent entrance.

Adorned by the amber-colored lining of his toga, this priest embodies the very picture of modesty. Quiet, embarrassed, and humble: some of the most attractive qualities a man can present, I find. But I have no time to admire his physique as well if I don’t want Akechi to hold my dreamhouse hostage. Yes, I’ll get some information out of him for the sake of being a shut-in. Without a doubt. 

Akechi mentioned that I should flatter His Holiness and slip in some information I shouldn’t know about the mines all the while. What that prince didn’t mention was how I was going to get a High Priest alone with me. Even if there weren’t these bloodsucking mosquitoes buzzing around the two of us, I doubt his followers would let him out of their sight for that long. That leaves me with three options: A- I distract his overseers and nab him when they aren’t looking, B- I catch his attention with something and lead him straight to me, or C- I appeal to his humanitarianism, cause a scene, and hope he’ll feel the need to check on me privately. B seems like the path with the highest probability of success so I’ll go with that. 

I pickpocket a pen from the breast pocket of one of the waiters in attendance. I scribble a time and a place to meet me on the back of a piece of the itinerary I ripped off and fold the paper between my forefingers. Now the hard part. I worm my way through the herd surrounding him with half the mind to go retrieve my sword and start hacking. Too bad events such as these prevent anyone but knights and foreign escorts from possessing weapons. Despite this, I somehow manage to brush my hand against his, passing off the note. He looks down at it with a tired expression like he’s seen this all before while he places the note into the waistband of his bottoms. 

I guess that’s a good sign. I walk up a flight of stairs to the balcony to wait for the arranged time. It’d be best if he came without the members of his cult tailing him but I suppose I should call myself lucky if he comes out here at all. It’ll be a hassle, but I’m sure I can take them out if need be. The only problem is that I don’t know His Holiness’s enhancement. Akechi couldn’t have heard about that as well while he was eavesdropping on national secrets? Whatever, I’m pretty sure I could take him out too.

While I’m waiting I might as well enjoy myself, so I exhale on the bird whistle chain from my neck. Phoenix lands on the balcony’s railing before I can even finish blowing. I had ordered food for us, setting a plate of raw salmon with crackers on the floor. Initially, I was worried that the chicken curry I was nibbling on would be too taboo for me to consume in front of him but he hasn’t even noticed, he’s too busy forcing his meal down his throat. Seriously. He’s not even trying to break it into smaller pieces, just swallowing it whole like a python.

“Phoenix, you’ll choke if you gulf it down like that,” I warned; I doubt he can understand me but it’s at least worth a shot if it means I don’t have to perform the Heimlich on a bird.

I have already finished my meal so I reach across with my curry fingers to break up his fish. He bites me. Damned bird.

“Don’t bite me, I’m trying to help you! Fine, choke! See if I care,” I huff. Just wait until you wear out your usefulness. I’ll be fine dining on the best-cooked crow pot pie you’ve ever seen. I scrape into the edge of my plate while envisioning how this bird would taste roasted, fried, rotisseried with a little bu-

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” the High Priest emerges from the ballroom at last.

I didn’t notice him. He snuck up on me, on me.

“Your Holiness. I take it you are enjoying yourself?” I bow, using politeness to mask my impatience.

“No, but I hope this conversation changes that. And please, call me Mika-El. ‘Your Holiness’ is for those who don’t respect my position,” He gives me an amicable smile which reveals much more about his personality than his words ever could.

Mika, huh? I got it wrong. Sounds like it would suit a toddler better than a mid-to-late twenties national representative.

“What? Don’t fancy crowds?” I pry mischievously, “and here I had the impression that the magnificent High Priest loves and devotes himself to all peoples, as long as they follow the interpretations of the Topaz scriptures.”

Flattery, check.

“Surely, you exaggerate,” he reasons, pulling the hood of his robe over his head so as not to draw attention. “my devotees fail to realize that I am but a messenger for the divine, their equal when before the might of the Topaz. They need not throw themselves at my feet or offer their savings to me as penance for their sins. What kind of person would I be if I condoned or encouraged such behavior? But despite their fealty… I must admit that they are quite slow in the uptake. They scour for me even now,” he glances over his shoulder back at the event hall. 

I follow his gaze and am pleasantly surprised to find that his cohorts are scrambling around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for him. Hell, it’s gotten to the point where they’re placing blame on everyone else, too. Oh, the irony of saints being finger-pointers. I smirk at my discovery of a fellow troublemaker.

“I hope your next words are at least somewhat entertaining. If you are going to confess to me, don’t bother; I’ve sworn off relationships along with alcohol long ago. Don’t think I will offer you Topaz because of this either. It wouldn’t be my place,” he adds on quickly.

“Worry not. I doubt even you could give me something that doesn’t exist. What with the mines being the way they ar-”

He grabs me by the throat and throws me over the balcony.