I Am Caring (for the first time in my life!?)

“Lucrezia, look at this!”

I’d spent the last six hours and five levels looking for this damn alchemy ingredient.

Normally, I wouldn’t waste five levels on a trash skill like [Eagle Eye] when I could literally just enhance my vision to levels that were more than enough with [Demonic Enhancement], but sacrifices had to be made.

With five levels in this skill, I was able to see even minute mana fluctuations in the air thanks to its level two ability that allowed me to visually perceive mana.

More importantly, [Eagle Eye]’s primary purpose was to enable detailed and long distance sight, which let me keep an eye on Lucrezia and Antenora while I went foraging.

Unfortunately for me, my efforts were ultimately for naught as Lucrezia barely gave the pearl in my hand a glance. All I got for my suffering was a “Hmph!” and three levels from dealing with the beasts I ran into.

As Lucrezia and Antenora continued making their way toward our destination, I lagged behind as usual, hanging my head in defeat.

I-It’s okay, Ryuuko! I’m sure the Yrdis Pearl will be useful eventually! It’s one of the rarest alchemy ingredients in the rulebook!

I slipped the pearl into the sack that was carrying our supplies and then smacked myself on the cheeks for good measure.

Alright! I’ll just keep trying my best!

Obviously, it didn’t look like offering gifts was gonna cut it for Lucrezia. I’m sure she wanted something heartfelt, but I genuinely didn’t know what to do.

The only experience I had when it came to relationships was from dating sim games, and giving gifts always worked in those! In fact, that was often the only way to fix a broken relationship!

Real life sure was inconvenient.

Normally, I would’ve given up at this point, but that was in the past. No matter what, I had to find a way to repair our relationship. I just couldn’t see a future without Lucrezia that was worth living in.

Even if I had to sacrifice my revenge...

I stopped walking, staring upward at the sky and closing my eyes. Just what the hell was I thinking?

Since when did Lucrezia become more important than my ultimate goal...?

“Heh... What the hell? You’re really changing, aren’t you, Ryuuko?”

In the end, I settled for giving Lucrezia a straightforward apology, but I simply couldn’t find the right timing to do so during our journey.

In fact, it seemed like Antenora was purposely getting in my way every time an opportunity popped up.

“Hey Lucrezia, do you—”

“Lucrezia, please look here. According to this document, it’s possible that Aurelia could be held in the servant quarters instead.” Antenora immediately interjected. To make things worse, she hadn’t even spared me a glance.

Gah! I thought you were on my side, Antenora!

Eventually, I had to give up seeing as Antenora was hellbent on preventing any of my attempts to apologize. I wasn’t sure why she suddenly had a change of heart, but it probably wasn’t a good idea to keep pushing.

Besides, night was fast approaching and it was time for me to set up the camp for tonight. Thanks for [Eagle Eye]’s penetrating vision ability at level three, I was able to easily find a wide clearing in the adjacent forest for us to stop at.

Just like the previous night, I chose to camp out on the road. I wasn’t in any real danger. In fact, if a passing carriage ran me over, I would probably be alright.

However, when I got to the road, there was someone already waiting for me.

Standing there was Lucrezia, her perfectly pale skin bathed in liquid moonlight. Lucrezia’s long silver hair hugged her form as if to shield her from the chill of the night air, and her crimson gaze was brighter than even the stars above.

I was once again struck by her beauty and reminded of the first time I met her. Back then, I’d been compelled to save her merely on a whim. She was nothing more than a pretty face.

But now...?

I’m not sure what to call these feelings of mine. Maybe it’s love. I sure as hell wouldn’t know.

All I knew was that I wanted to be by her side.

“So, uh... Where’s Antenora?”

I immediately regretted asking that question the moment it left my lips.

“Is that what you came to say to me?”

“No, I, err...” I scratched the back of my head nervously before taking a deep breath and steeling my resolve.

I placed my thumb in my mouth and bit down hard.

CRUNCH.

...That didn’t sound good.

I withdrew my now-bloodied thumb and placed it against my left breast. There wasn’t much breast to speak of though, which meant my smeared blood was a little closer to my heart, at least.

“I, Mikado Ryuuko, offer you my most sincere and heartfelt apologies for my misconduct toward you. I know that a simple apology cannot possibly hope to suffice for how I’ve wronged you, but it is my wish that I can one day regain your trust and friendship.”

The last time I’d used such formal language was back on Earth when I was forced to attend a trial at court, so I was really trying my hardest to give her the apology she deserved.

I was going to say more, but she held up a hand to stem my flood of words.

“...Idiot. You’re doing it again.”

Shit! Did I somehow mess up!?

“I just... I just wanted you to be my friend, Ryuuko.”

Huh!?

“I’ve never really had a friend before. Not one that I could truly share my feelings with, at least. But you were different, Ryuuko. You treated me like anyone else would... I felt like there wasn’t any distance between us, you know?”

“W-What about Antenora?”

“She's... different. I care deeply about her, and she cares deeply about me. But Antenora and I can never truly be friends.” Her gaze slid away from mine. It seems that she had some secrets to keep as well.

“Right... Well, I... I want to be your friend, Lucrezia. I know that at the very least. And this time... I want to stand beside you, not in front of you. I want us to walk forward at the same pace side-by-side, wherever we go.”

I met her eyes with mine, full of resolve and determination. I wanted her to know how much I regret treating her like some side character who was only there for my self-fulfillment.

Lucrezia was her own person and she could shine as bright as I could, if not brighter. This was something that I needed to understand if I was going to move on from the person I was.

“Y-You don’t have to be so formal about it...”

She stepped forward and took my hands in hers. Her cheeks were tinted a bright pink.

“Don’t think I’ve completely forgiven you, though. You’re gonna have to work extra, extra hard from now on!”

“Yeah! I’ll do my best to stay by your side, Lucrezia!”

I have no idea why, but Lucrezia’s entire face was flushed after I said that. It looked like steam was going to come out of her ears any second, but seeing as she was smiling, I didn’t think too much of it.

We stayed in this position for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence silently. It was only two days that we had stopped interacting, but even so, it made this moment feel that much more important.

Both of us quickly grew embarrassed after the initial torrent of emotions had passed though, and Lucrezia excused herself for the night.

I remained on the road for a little longer, gazing up at the full moon.

“Not bad, human. Lucrezia was smiling when she returned to camp.”

I turned around to face Antenora. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but think that the smile she wore that night could give even Lucrezia a run for her money.

We exchanged a few words as Antenora seemed a lot more mellow. Before she left, she gave me my share of today’s rations, which I suppose was her way of thanking me.

I bit down, but met more resistance than I expected. Rather, my bite felt uneven, and I immediately remembered that “crunch” from earlier.

...I think I chipped my tooth.