PROLOGUE: Starting over -that lonely box-

Whenever she looks back, a chill always runs down her spine. A cold sensation that seems to pull her back to the side of reality she did not want to turn to. That lonely box at the very corner of her mind, alone and quiet. Left behind and covered in a thick layer of dust. 

She never wanted to open that box again, she made up her mind not to. However, sometimes, she cannot help but glance at the box, wondering, thinking. Remembering. And when she does, the sudden rush of emotion overwhelms her and she would always think, wish. That she did more on that, did less in this, or not do anything at all. Surely one of those is the correct answer, she thought.

She wished and thought and wished of all the different scenarios that should have happened so it would all be different, better. So she wouldn't have to think about it anymore, so there wouldn't be any box of it in her mind anymore. And after thinking so, she would hate herself and drown in self-loathing that there was no other cure than to sleep it off and hope it would all go away in the morning.

She did not want to remember that again, she's changed; she doesn't do those things anymore. She doesn't want to bother and cause trouble for everyone around her anymore. And there's been results: This time people actually like her!

She also went out of her way and settled to studying in a local university because she knows he will go to a university in the city miles away. She doesn't want to bother him most of all, he had already suffered enough from being with her.

And not to be too grateful about being away, but she is very grateful. This is a time to completely change for the better, to overwrite the things she had done. To show she's changed, and that tyrant she used to be was no more.

It was the salvation she desired for herself. So when they meet again one day, she can face him properly and greet him confidently, warmly. To ask how he had been, and that she had been regretting and reflecting all these years. And that she was so sorry for everything she had done to him, and to her, and for everything she had put them through.

She is not seeking to be forgiven, of course, that would be presumptuous of her to ask. No, she just wanted to let them know she has changed, for the better. Forgiveness grows with time after all.

So when she sees him at the front of her university gate, with his usual circle of friends, she was speechless. Stunned.

She rubs her eyes, this for real?

Their eyes meet and he pauses, smiles at her meekly, warmly. Like a long-time friend, supposedly parted on good terms and met here by chance. She feels herself go pale, frozen in her place.

Just...

Why.