Chapter 2 : what happened to moving forward

"We just introduced ourselves and that was it, the teacher didn't want to start teaching on the first day of school so he just told us to befriend each other. For the whole three hours." Luke explains with a shrug, wishing that all professors were that laid back on the first day. He was explaining to Airi what happened in the first period as they were walking along the hallway, on their way to their next class.

"It's also because of it that we met Zoey," he continues. Zoey was apparently too preoccupied in searching for Airi, to the point of panicking. Marie initiated the conversation with her out of concern, and asked her if everything is alright. And Zoey, in the midst of her anxiety, told her everything and asked for her help.

"Luke told her you can handle yourself, and she just exploded. You should've seen it!" Marie says. It was not something to say to a person on the verge of loosing it.

"If she was there, she wouldn't explode like that," Neil pointed it out, and Marie gasps, made a face like the thought never crossed her mind, "oh yeah...!" she says and laughs.

"Anyway, after that, the teacher called them off and she calmed down," Neil continued. Airi smiled, thinks she should thanking them for keeping Zoey calm like they did, but it felt awkward to thank them, instead she apologizes to them for the trouble she caused. They shrugged it off and says it's okay. It somewhat surprises her that they would accept it like that. They then shifted to the topic of how she got an excuse to skip class all day.

"Have you ever thought of using it for the second period too? Or the third? Or, I don't know, for the whole day?" Luke says and immediately, she could feel the intensity of Zoey's glare pierce her from behind, as if saying 'don't you dare'. Zoey is usually calm, but when she gets angry it would be a challenge to soothe her. It is during these times that Airi is reminded that she has two moms.

As Neil kept tempting Airi to skip another class and Zoey on the verge of punching him in a furious attempt to shut him up, Luke glances at Marie. "What's our next class again?"

"I think we're having English next", she replies, "it's a joint class, apparently."

"A joined class? Like with another department or something?" Neil interjects.

"Yeah, I don't know what department though."

As the three talks in front of them, Zoey moves beside Airi and this time, her head slightly bows down, apologetic. "I didn't know Ren is going to transfer here,"  she starts. "I mean, he did ask me what university I'll be enrolling in this year, but I didn't think that he would..." she trails off, not knowing what to say. Airi says that it is no problem and that she shouldn’t worry about it.

Zoey clenches her fists and breathes deeply, saying that she feels partly responsible. She knows Airi is far from ready to face him. Airi places her hand the worried girl’s shoulder and affectionately pulled her close, continuing to console her, "stop blaming yourself." Zoey gave her an appreciative smile and nodded in reply.

"He says he's thinking of taking up an engineering course once." Zoey offers, remembering the time she overheard him talking with a few friends from school. Airi blinks, somewhat taken aback at the new information, but otherwise nods in understanding. She had not toured the whole university to know where the engineering department is located and from there guess the likelihood of them meeting. They will undoubtedly meet somewhere, she could only hope it won't be as often.

Then she hears a squeal directly in front of them. it somewhat baffles them that that girly squeal came from Marie. it's not obvious with how she looks, with her denim jacket and her unmanaged curls falling flatly behind her.

Zoey and Airi were skeptical at first, so when they hear Marie squealing and seeing her shyly hide behind Luke, and lightly hit him out of excitement. It was completely out of the character, they thought she was. Luke says they get used to it.

"She gets like this when she sees her favorite Korean actors," he said.

"She also gets like that when she sees her high school crush, apparently." Niel adds, staring ahead at the guy walking along the hallway. Airi and Zoey followed his gaze, and, to be honest, they are not that surprised at who they saw. At some point, they actually expected this to happen. Ren has been that popular since middle school after all, it's still amazing to think that even across all schools, he is still well known.

Still, to see him like this unexpectedly, makes Airi feel the anxiousness crawling back in her skin. She feels herself sweating, her heart beating faster as he draws closer to their group; and Marie's squeals becoming louder does not help one bit. She steps to the right corner, so Neil covers her. She hopes he does not see her, or ignores her. She thinks of his smile and looks away, it makes her uncomfortable seeing him smile at her.

Can't be helped? Smiling back at him? No. No no no no no. It is still too early, she thought. Every encouragement she told herself went down the drain.

 The fear is just too overwhelming because even she won't forgive herself for everything she did. She turns to Zoey and wished she could be just as composed. Zoey notices her looking at her and smiles awkwardly, "his friends haven't changed from high school. You remember them don't you?"

Airi has been avoiding looking at him, or his friends for that matter, but she is aware they were his friends in high school since they have that familiarity with each other. She and Ren were in different classes in middle school and first year, so although they go to school together and eat lunch together, when it comes to class time, he was with his classmates. Ren is active on school work and had his own life outside of their friendship, unlike her who revolved her world around Ren exercising her brand of faulty justice. To be honest, she never really found any of them worth her time back then. Aside from the only girl, Nina, the guys did not interest her in the slightest.

Surely, they know what happened between her and Ren so they probably hate her guts. Airi realizes that she will have to apologize to them too for putting their dear friend through so much. The thought makes her want to curse her past self, go back in time just to punch herself so hard it would open her eyes to what she was actually doing.

Finally, Ren notices them and pauses in surprise. Airi averts her eyes and moves closer to the corner. Neil moves to the opposite so he covers her more, Airi looks up to him in concern and he glances back at her and winks.

Ren meets eyes with Zoey and Luke, smiles and nods. He glances at Airi still avoiding eye contact and sighs, enters the classroom in front of them quietly with his friends.

Airi gapes, Zoey widens her eyes, and Marie squeals louder. That is their room for their next class. They just entered that same room, Ren and his friends. They are classmates.

They are classmates.

♦

"Thank you for that introduction Airi." The teacher says in that recited monotonous tone and gestures for the next one behind her. Zoey stands up and begins introducing herself. Airi slumps down, exhausted, disappointed. She even practiced making a good introduction at home, and, again, it backfires on her. She cursed to herself and sighs deeply. She would not even feel this drained if Ren and his amazing group were not here, piercing her with their hateful gaze. It felt like she has been subjected to some kind of mental torture like she is being judged for a life sentence. It was a great idea to sit in the third row since he won't be in her line of vision, as he sat in the last row, by the corner along with his friends.

It can not be helped to hear them though. She could have sworn she heard the gossip behind grow louder after her introduction, it made her all the more restless. Wished she could go home.

A tap on her right shoulder and she turns to see Luke. He grins at her, excited and she blinks somewhat confused. Luke seemed like a social person with the way he acts around them, but when looked at closer, his extroverted, sparkling air around him seems more apparent. There is this comfortable feeling around him that says that he can get along with absolutely anyone.

"Were having a first-year-only party later, want to come?" he says with that cheerful tone as if they'd been friends forever.

"You managed to put up a party on the first day of university? That's actually amazing," she manages to say. Being a secluded introvert, it amazes her how he could just pool some people and start a party like it was nothing.

The spark of admiration in her eyes made Luke tense a bit, "I-its because we have a lot of high school friends here so we kind of came up with it, you know?"

Airi nods in understanding, the spark in her eyes still there. "Where is it gonna be?"

"It's at X Bar, just near the station. It's not one of those high-strung bars don't worry," he reassures.

The introduction continues as the person next in line stands up. Airi thinks about it, it is actually not bad, the place is near their dormitory and she has never been to a bar so it could be a good experience. The only downside is that they still have university classes tomorrow.

"So, what do you think? Wanna come too?" Airi looks up at Luke peering behind her and towards Zoey, listening in on their conversation. He grins, "although knowing you, if Airi comes, you will come too."

"Not always," Zoey defends, "I don't want to be that suffocating type of friend."

She looks at Airi, looking at her questioningly, innocently, like a kitten. Pure and innocent to the world, "but in this case, I'll tag along with Airi if she wants to go." Luke laughs and Airi smiles a bit, thankful.

Zoey really did not need to be protective, but it is understandable. "So how about it? You guys up to it?" Luke repeats. Before Airi could reply the teacher hushes them— at the students in general, as the noise is starting to block out the introductions by the other students. The teacher seemed pissed so Luke leaned back in his seat.

 The introductions continue. "Hey guys! You can call me Nina."

The name brings back memories of their high school days for Airi. She does not dare turn her back to look at her. She remembers the time she used to tell Nina off for being too close to Ren, and talking with him, and walking beside him, and touching him and literally every time she sees her and Ren together. She would give her all kinds of trouble, and bully her almost on a daily basis. Remembering it makes her want to punch herself.

Nina was already pretty then, she was the typical girl-next-door: cheerful, friendly, and always ready to help. She was not like those other girls who went on to Ren with hidden motives—the ones she is always trying to push away. She was different; she did not treat Ren like the hottest guy in school like everyone does, she just saw him as he is and befriended him as Ren, a normal high school boy. Regardless, Airi made life hard for her, just because.

Thinking about it now, it must have been a breath of fresh air for Nina when she transferred. A heavy burden lifted on both their shoulders. Nina and Ren can finally be together peacefully after all they have been through, happily ever after.

She peeks behind after Nina's introduction. She sits down and immediately turns to Ren, smiling and blushing, making gestures that describe how nervous she probably was. And Ren replies back, smiling with her as if her smile is contagious. It was just like when they did in high school. She wonders if they are going out, but thinks undoubtedly that they probably are.

Seeing them now, made her realize that this was probably what pissed her off the most. Seeing Ren enjoy someone else's company genuinely, from the bottom of his heart. It was the first time she felt like there was someone out to take Ren away from her, and will succeed in doing so. The idea terrified her, Ren was leaving her.

Come to think of it, they might come to the party later. It would be so awkward if they did, knowing that she might come too. Though it looks like Luke has not talked to them about it yet. It was great she had not confirmed she was coming, who knows what might happen. She wanted to come but it seems like she will have to say no this time.

Then it was Ren's turn to introduce himself, and she is reminded why she did not like the girls idolizing and squealing around him.

♦

"So guys, how about it?" Luke came up to them after class, "Neil and Marie are coming so it won't be awkward I promise!" Airi hesitates; she turns to Zoey for help, but she just shrugs in reply. They were packing their bags and getting ready to move out for their next class, "actually, about that..."

"Taking the hint," Luke slumps back, "aw, c'mon! Don't tell me you guys are saying no too? Even if it's just for a bit, come with us!" he presses further. He looks like a kicked puppy that Zoey almost feels sorry for him.

"Told you it's gonna be hard to invite new guys on the first day," Neil says, coming up to them, putting his arm around Luke's shoulder, consoling his friend, "since it is the first day and all, everyone's still adjusting."

"Who else did you manage to convince so far?" Marie asks, "at least tell me you manage to invite Ren!"

Luke made a face, "he is the last person I wanted to invite! He would be the center of attention!" he says bitterly. It seems petty, but Zoey and Airi can understand his sentiments. Ren has not been invited to any events after school, not since their third year of middle school when girls came swarming in their karaoke booth seeking his attention. The karaoke ended with all the girls wanting to go home with Ren.

Marie raised a brow, "didn't you want to have more people? Then, you should invite him!"

"You just want him to come,"

"Of course!" Marie says with conviction, "this is my chance to get closer to the prince!"

Luke made another comment before getting punched by Marie so hard Luke thought he heard his bones crack. He withdraws from her, soothing the punched area on his shoulder. "Fine! he says, giving up, "I did try inviting him earlier before he went out the door. He declined though, saying he has something else planned to do after school."

Airi takes her bag and turns to her friend, "Zoey what do you think?" reconsidering after what she just heard.

Zoey can read her very well, especially now after finding out Ren isn't coming. "I think it's fine, if there aren't that many people coming in the first place, we might as well help the poor guy out" Zoey replies giving Luke a pitiful stare.

"Thanks, guys!" Luke beams. "You're the best!"

"Although you should tell uncle you'll go out," Zoey advises her, "and no drinking! If you agree with those conditions, I'll go with you." she says in all seriousness and Airi nods, reminds her of the time her mom said the same thing. She takes out her phone and begins calling her dad.

Luke teases Zoey, calling her a fussy mom. "Shut up," she hisses at him, "I'm just avoiding any future troubles that could come out from this," she adds matter-of-factly. Neil laughs from behind them.

"Somehow, I can see that backfiring."