|Good night

“W-What do you mean?”

“Voyan, what do you want to do?”

What sort of trap is she setting? Is she trying to get back at me?? I have no clue what to say, that grin she has on must have an evil one layered underneath… No woman can have me wrapped around her finger.. Impossible… I’m too tired to lay a finger on her in this state.. The only activity I will like to participate in is sleep…To throw the question back would be best.. Though, I didn’t set the trap, she would be the one to fall in. My apologies.

“What do you want to do?”

Take that, adorable wife of mine. Things like this are pretty basic and important. Now, woman, state your intentions so I can..No, so little Voyan may consider it then turn you down aptly. Don’t be hurt, though.. I completely understand that for a young maiden, your first night should be filled with the sweet scent of flowers, dim lights, a full night of love and undying passion. A night that seems like a couple of hours but lasts a full eternity, in our minds, at least. A night to remember. I understand that much and shouldn’t betray these expectations. However, there’s not much I can do..Sorry, voyan jnr. Sorry, lady, but I just can’t..

“I want to do whatever you want to do. So please, let me know.”

She slowly walked towards me.. This lady, beaming with pure sex appeal, stared at me and for just a moment, her eyes sparkled. I don’t know whether my body acted on it’s own or I was the one in control but I kept on moving backwards, with a full on boner and an aroused mind, until my back was against the wall. If you do the wall slam, I will die of embarrassment…Please, no…I’m still wounded from your actions at the wedding.Don’t hurt my pride in private, too..

“What’s wrong? I thought you said I’m the prettiest woman you’ve laid your eyes on?”

“Haha, you’re right. Now that we are getting right to it, I might be jittery.”

“Hmm.”

I looked closer and saw two blue gemstones.The dim lights made walking an easy task but I found it difficult to see much. This made her blue eyes look even better. In summary, I was like a moth drawn to a flame. However, I started to have a bad feeling.

“I want you to be more honest with me. You don’t have to hide what you’re really thinking.”

“.……”

Now that I look back at it. That single statement was what set the gears of my new life in motion, maybe not in the right direction but it was moving regardless.

After I managed to word something out, she paused, stared me dead in the eyes and grinned.

“I should be honest, you say?”

“Y-yes.”

It would be useful to know what sort of stuff she’s into. Though, I am not into extreme Kinks. I mean, they are extreme for a reason and should only be carried out in fantasy land, not reality. I’m not one to put down anyone for having them.

“If you have any weird tastes I swear I’ll try my best to welcome them as openly as possible but there’s only so much I can do.”

“?????”

“My bad. You were saying???”

“Tch….Fine then..If I’m being honest, I want to run a dirty glass shard through your heart and watch as you breathe your last.”

“Huh??”

“Don’t you think you deserve such an ending, you pig?”

Pig?? Is this some roleplay??? Oh, I think I get it now..

“I’m guessing I’m the low-life that gets stepped on by you, right? Is that what this is?”

If I’m being honest, it really doesn’t sound that bad. But, I don’t really want her to know that. I better act a bit stiff then reluctantly accept it. That much is fine.

“Are you shitting me right now?? Playing dumb with me??? Want some fun reactions out of your favourite toy, huh??”

“Calm down.”

Her aggressive tone and thick accent left me perplexed. I thought she was initially enjoying this but that was far from the case. Nonetheless, I didn’t understand what was going.

“You asked me to be more honest with you. Well, let’s see. If I’m being honest with you, I want to end your…no…that’s impossible…. I want to end my life. I want to die and escape my duty but that is out of the question. I have something to protect. Judging from the view down there, it’s safe to say you want my body, right??? If that’s the case you should have said so sooner. As revolting as that is, it’s no problem for me. I am still a virgin so you can take the pride of deflowering me. I’ll even make it more pleasurable for you. Do you want me to maintain appearances like an aristocrat or titter and moan like a prostitute? I’m capable of both but you can only pick one.”

“W-What are you saying??”

“Are you deaf??”

As she moved closer to my lips, I froze. How I wish I could blame my paralysis on something else but that was impossible. I didn’t know the right words to say. I didn’t know the right action to make. I stood there like an idiot as she pushed her naked body closer to me. My mood sunk and I could say the same for my unusual boner.

The next words she said escaped me.. Perhaps it was the extreme tiredness that got to me, perhaps I simply refused to accept it. All I know is that I held this seemingly vulnerable woman by the shoulders and offered her my coat. After that, I walked over to the bed and dropped like a log of wood. I could hear the sound of something hitting the floor(like a cloth) but I paid no mind to that. What I just witnessed was an hallucination. No other explanation.

Really, though. What a day this has been. The pillow that I immersed my face in felt as soft as a marshmallow. Even the bed felt like jelly. I wanted to tell my wife to try it out for herself but I already went unconscious before I could even utter any more words. Damn, if I actually did say something it would have definitely increased the suspicion on me. It’s supposed to be my bed so why the hell would I be astonished over something I use every single day?? 

 Hmm..This is really the start of a new life. Questions like “Have I really accepted it?” or “Is this what I want?” surfaced around me in my unconscious state like dark bubbles. Only that these bubbles were filthy. I didn’t avert my gaze, I stood firm and stared whatever was in front of me like these things were actual people. A little too respectful, a mistake from my part. However, the questions which fundamentally wrapped their existence were still valid, just like that of actual people. My answers?

Of course not.. I would never want to be anyone but myself..Hachiya….I would never want to be in the body of anyone but Hachiya…I would never want to breathe air except it’s from the nostrils or mouth of Hachiya. I would never want to live as anyone but Hachiya…..but as myself..I was so angry that I could cry and roll over the bed in a fit of rage, like a spoilt child deprived of candy. Of course, it was shameful and would definitely not have befitted that of a prince but since when did I start caring about being one???

 I’m sure, absolutely sure that at quick intervals, I closed my eyes, praying to the heavens just for one more chance…Just one…To wake up and listen to office stories from my Father…To wake up and hear my Mum scold me for not waking my sister up.. It could be anything..She could even be absolutely mad at me for no reason..I don’t care..I don’t want to stop being myself..I DON’T WANT TO BE ANYONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE…..God, please….

It was to no avail, however, I was still trapped in this body.. I figured…What use was it to curry favour from God when I didn’t give him a single thought when I lived my life. Not even a single second. My whole life, and all the chapters that were opened, none of them gave any room for something that….Here I am though, begging like a devout believer for a desperate wish, one that even I wasn’t foolish enough to see being granted. 

I have my optimism with me, my greatest weapon. It doesn’t interfere with the truth and it doesn’t make me delusional. Instead, it gives me hope. But this hope, or rather the idea that I need new hope everyday to function, weighs down heavily on my mind. My mind will break sooner or later, I’m certain I would lose it eventually. I will embrace this fresh hope everyday, like a new born baby. I am aware that the odds don’t look so good. All I can see ahead of me is a dark road that has nothing pleasurable in sight but further suffering. I want to reject this future, but even I know it’s pointless. However, I will continue hoping for my hope to be shattered, and for this new reality of mine to truly turn into the original one..I believe, therefore, it is possible..

Good night…..