|Why have one maid strip you when you can have three?

The next morning came by in a flash and I found myself desperately scavenging for memories of the previous night. I was quite reluctant to get up from this jelly bed. Now that I had the energy, I could playfully grope my wife and tease her..Voyan, sorry about this but that “my body, my rules” bullshit doesn’t apply to me. This is Hachiya’s time to shine.. I turned to the side to see my beautiful wife facing me, her eyes were closed and with a single thread of hair in her mouth. It’s like my eyes had a taste of a mixture of clumsiness and innocence. Spontaneous yet charming…What a sight to wake up to every morning. Although, this bed is big enough for more than one beauty, hee hee….She reminds me of sleeping beauty…Ugh, I just had to say that out loud.. 

My midday violation sprung up from the depths of my mind like an annoying smart phone notification. Why ruin such a beautiful moment?? Now, I wanted my own form of revenge. I wouldn’t grope her yet, no no..As the dignified gentleman that I am, it is only right for me to wake the sleeping beauty up with a kiss.. Prince charming never got his tongue bitten off so neither will I..

I already had my goals set and this time I wasn’t moving back, a full, flawless execution was what I was after… Now, let’s see how she reacts… I leapt back and used the force to propel myself forward, I gently shifted the hair, hoping it wouldn’t spoil the fun. I closed the distance and….

{smooch}

Our lips were joined together.. At this point, Beethoven started playing in my head, so does this mean I gain more pleasure by kissing rather than being kissed.. Weird discovery aside, I didn’t close my eyes..Not for a single moment..Why??? Her cute, priceless expressions, of course. I also didn’t make much contact. The bare minimum was fine.This moment lasted for a few seconds, unfortunately. Finally,she opened her eyes…They were incredibly stunning. “Stunning” wasn’t the only word. They were also genuinely frightening. Our eyes were opposite each other and all I could say was that this moment felt like I kissed Medusa instead. It felt like her gaze could turn me to stone at anytime.. They were definitely the gaze of a cold blooded killer caught in the act.. It was like she was saying “Now that you’ve caught me in this state, you’ll have to die”.Either that or “die, pervert”. Any would have been fine, at least that was what I thought prior to this. Once again, it could turn me to stone at anytime but she seemed reluctant. Her eyes slowly mellowed, with a look I was familiar with. My sister had this look on….Wait….

Now, hold on a minute.. Don’t get the wrong idea. I never woke my sister up with a good morning kiss. The opposite, in fact. Satsuki did every other thing with utmost care, that I can commend her for..But then, what took the most time was getting out of bed and changing from her Pjs. This was extremely difficult for her. Despite being a middle school student, it felt like she was less of a student and more of an observer. For a girl that attended school just as much as everyone else, getting up from her bed was her biggest hurdle. Anyway, I had my methods. There were no fire drills, no buckets of ice and of course no wrestling involved(eww). I simply poured a half full glass of water over her head. As it flowed all the way to her neck, she would wake up with the creepiest look on her face. It took quite a few seconds before expressions dulled and she fully woke up.

 I don’t know why I was the one tasked with such a responsibility but seeing that creepy look on her face served as some sort of early morning amusement that I got to witness, absolutely free of charge. Anyway, it was time to retreat. I slowly moved back, trying my best not to avert my gaze.

“Guess I startled you. Good morning, dear.”

“.……….”

This silence is heart wrenching, is she angry??? After such a cold-blooded gaze, here I am wondering if it depicts anger… That was stupid, of course she’s angry. I’m the one to blame, for springing up on her like that… Wasn’t this normal for couples?? Wait, did I just commit sexual assault?

“Pardon me. I simply couldn’t wait to surprise you.”

“.……….”

This is bad…Really, really bad.. All this time, she has not blinked, not once. I’ve never been met with such an intimidating, awkward silence in my 17 years of living. Not even with my parents. I guess I was still scared because of that gaze. It’s all that’s in my head right now. Occupying more space than even how to escape this terrible silence. I’ll try and play the clown.

“Haha, it reminds me of yesterday when you kissed me..Remember??”

“.……..”

“Dear???”

Like melted ice, her lips finally moved. She wasn’t in a trance prior to this, was she? I had no way of even telling and I also had no way of predicting what was coming next.

“Good morning, Voyan.”

“Good morning to you too. Slept well???”

“Yeah. I really needed that.”

She brushed off the kiss?? I thought she was going to call me a pervert or act shy as usual. Minus, the initial expression, this was the second best thing following that. You could consider it dessert.

“You had me worried there for a second.”

“That’s how it is for me every morning. I’m still not used to this, it seems.”

Huh?? I thought she was a princess??? Maybe one from a faraway land.. That would make things all the more exotic. She could be talking about the married life, though. I’m also relatively new to this.

“That makes two of us, then.”

“By the way, why don’t you call me by my name??”

Yep, I’m screwed. I saw this coming, how do I slither my way out of this? I don’t see any valid excuses?? I could brush past it in a similar fashion but what if she doubles down on it?? How am I supposed to respond to that?

“I just thought ‘dear’ would be more appropriate. No….. more familiar.”

“What could be more familiar than one’s name?”

FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I-It was just easier for me…You don’t like it??”

“It’s not that..It just feels a bit strange..”

“I get it.. I was too forward with ‘dear’…What name should I use??”

“My first name.. Call me by that.”

I guess she’s not the lovey dovey type.. Well to be fair, neither am I.. Now, how the hell do I guess her name? That’s basically impossible for me.. There is no logic or scientific method that will accurately allow me to find out a person’s name. Is there a name tag nearby??? Nope, nothing. My eyes darting around is suspicious already.With the way things are going, it won’t take long for her to start suspecting me..Luckily, in this era, amnesia should be a thing, I suppose..Great, that will be my first excuse if things go wrong and of course, I will play the victim and seek pity. It is not an indicator of my character. Rather, it’s proof that I want to survive no matter what. Really though, if I was to be isekai’d, why couldn’t I at least appear with my body intact?? Playing the impostor really takes it toll on me, it’s such a huge pain. Calm down and play it cool.

“I’m really sweaty. I will freshen up and take a bath.”

“What a coincidence. I’m also in the mood for a bath. May I join you?”

“Of course.”

Now that the main issue was narrowly solved, I had to ask myself. How exactly did people in this era take baths. I have no knowledge of this and my curiosity didn’t exactly lean towards people in the early ages and how they took baths. Nevertheless, I was about to find out. There was a sudden knock on the door. I certainly hated interruptions but now, anything with a little bit of info was more than welcomed.

“May I come in, your highness?”

“You may come in.”

“I am thankful for your splendid kindness.”

Dude, I only said you could come in…

“What’s the matter?”

I asked and turned to the number of maids that came one after the other. They were half a dozen, to be precise.

“Well, you see, it is almost time for your daily bath, your highness.”

“That’s right. Let’s get started. Prepare a bath for the both of us.”

“Everything was set up ahead of time, your highness. All that is required is for you to take your clothes off.”

“Hmmm??”

What kind of weird development is this??? Why are my maids brazenly asking me to strip?? Of course, I’m taking a bath but….Oh…

For the first time, I could say I was lucky in this new world. For the first time, I could bless the royal genes of Voyan and also bless this convenience that allowed me experience this in the shortest time possible. I already put the pieces together so I knew what awaited me.

“You’re fine with that?”

I just had to ask her. After all, I can’t be too sure everyone practices this. As far as I’m concerned, every kingdom has it’s own set of rules so I can’t be presumptuous.

“I’ll get used to it eventually.”

“Understood.”

“Your highness, the large tub or the normal one.”

I didn’t get the question. So, there were two tubs and I had to pick one. Hmmm.

“Umm, I’ll let you decide.”

“Huh???????”

The maid that stood in front of others looked in shock. All her previous composure was stripped away. All because I asked her to decide for me.

“B-B-But your highness, I can’t make such a decision on your behalf. I’m not worthy.”

“Sure you can.”

She looked at her peers behind her and they all looked dumbfounded, it was painted on their faces.

“Think of it like this. I am in a dilemma today and can’t make a decision so I gave you the task of deciding for me. Since I deemed you worthy of deciding, doesn’t that mean you are??”

“Absolutely, your highness. Your words are true. Indeed, I am worthy.”

“Then decide.”

“.….”

Haha…..Checkmate……

“T-Then your highness, might I suggest we use the large one today?”

“The large one it is.”

All the anxiety disappeared from her face and she turned beet red.

“I am thankful, your highness, for allowing me make such a decision.”

“Let’s go.”

“Yes, your highness.”

As soon as I got off the bed, the beauty beside me yawned and stretched her arms. Now she looked like her normal self. Well, I don’t know what counts as “normal” so I’ll say she looked similar to yesterday.

The tub was the size of a standard swimming pool. Incredibly wide but incredibly shallow. I was quite impressed, I’d never seen such a thing in my life. The room itself had toilets, multiple buckets and quite a number of brushes. Well, that much was to be expected. Now, time to strip. The event that awaited me required this much.The maids took off my garments from the wedding one by one. It was quite relieving in the sense that I had more breathing space now.

My wife on the other hand, had only one garment on the entire night and had to put on some clothes to walk through the hallway just to remove them again. Now, we were both naked, staring in the same direction, and that was the massive tub. I dipped my toes in the water and found it warm. Perfect. Now,as I turned around, the six maids were also undressed and were in their underwear. It felt like something I should have closed my eyes for, but then I remembered that they took their clothes off for my sake so I stared at them with everything I had. 

Their cute, bashful expressions did it for me. They replenished me in more ways than one. My wife who was beside me was naked yet again. Was I flustered because of that??? Of course, not. Which kind of lady killer would be this bothered by a naked lady???? That’s right, I would be a fraud if that much tempered with me.

I didn’t want to stare too hard at my wife but I had a feeling ignoring her would have come off as rude. So, I turned once more and faced her. Of course, I didn’t see her beautifully shaped hips….. nor her slender waist…….nor her long hair that managed to cover part of her chest… I saw none of that, not even a single glimpse. Her face was my only concern.

“Guess what they say about taking a bath with someone else is true.”

IT’S THE BEST!!!!!!!

“It’s sort of relaxing.”

I nodded my head repeatedly, as a weird smile surfaced on my face. Now it was time to soak up and leave the maids to tend to my body. We both sat in the tub for a few minutes and the maids that stood behind us, so silently, split themselves up and gathered round the both of us. I saw three beauties…. I mean maids behind me and all of a sudden they each grabbed me at the same time. One spread her body around my arms, the other faced my chest and back, while the last..Well, the last was the most troublesome out of all of them.

Did she touch my legs??? No

Was it my feet??? No

Instead she took her arms to the deep abyss, the forbidden land where the lady of the lake resided and came back with a reward.

She brazenly grabbed the holy sword, Excalibur and did as she wished with it…

I couldn’t say any words. Rather, there were no words to say. My mind was squashed to paste and I couldn’t even process my thoughts properly. However, something did coming flying out of my mouth, though. Something I would like to forget for the rest of my life……..

“nnnghhhhhhhh”