Dirt, a Wired Dude, and other Nonsense

Far away, on the border of urbanisation, there lies a sector just like any other. Sector 12. Filled with bright, glowing buildings. Filled with colourful robots of all shapes and sizes. But just outside, at the edge, lies a very special robot. A immobile massive robot, created by the great AB herself. Though its special qualities lie not just in that. But also in its knowledge. It knows and has access to only a fraction of the knowledge that every other robot possesses. Its knowledge lies instead solely, and vastly, of humans.

888

3*15*14*18*5*•000019-7 was walking along in sector 12. Wandering far from home, asking the same question over and over.

“Do you know any humans?”

“No.”

Our robot has met up with a pink and purple mobile disposal robot. These types of robots live predominantly in the walls of buildings, as their usage is quite sporadic. At other times they are on the move to different jobs.

Our robot moves on to ask someone else and…

“I know of one that knows of humans.” says the disposal unit.

Our robot jolts to a stop. Turns around, stares at it, and moves back quickly.

“Where exactly is this robot?” Our robot inquires.

“An unusual spot. On the edge.”

“The edge of this sector.”

“Yes. Also the edge of development. A massive immobile robot. The edge there is a point where urban development was put on hold.”

Our robot looks at its map. “It does not seem to be far.”

Before our robot can add anything the other robot is already gone.

888

3*15*14*18*5*•000019-7 walks to the edge of everything. First the buildings phase into scaffolds, then phase out entirely with the cold metal ground only left. Once that vanishes, revealed underneath is dead, lifeless, pale, dirt.

The grey earth contrasts with the pink sky. Our robot looks out, both ways, across the vast, flat, plane. And see what it wants.

To our robot’s left is an object. A large, strange object, which can only be one thing.

888

In front of a large, immobile robot, stands our robot. A weird jumble of culture. Defaced with graffiti. Fixed with symbols and iconography. And wearing tinted glasses over its eyes.

“I was expecting you. Took a minute. Do you like my sunnies?” Boldly claims the weird robot.

“You are wrong. You have misidentified me.” shoots back our robot.

“Nah.”

Our robot can’t seem to identify what exactly this thing is.

“What are you?”

“Ooo! The name’s Luis. A human certified wired dude.”

“What is your number?”

“Hah. Numbers. What good are numbers?”

“You speak in them.”

“True, true.”

“You speak poorly.”

“You understand me though, hmm?”

“You speak in a roundabout way, with useless words that do not get to the point or add anything important.”

“But that’s what’s so fun about talking. You say things you don’t mean. You never say what you mean. You play with the listener. And they play with you. Robots are so boring to talk to. There’s no substance.”

“The normal way of talking is perfect. To talk another way is stupid.”

“You don’t exactly talk ‘normal’ either.”

Our robot doesn’t respond. What a farce. Just head to the point of this nonsense.

“You. Tell what you know.” Our robot demands.

“It’s Luis. Can’t even say my name, and you still expect me to tell you anything. What arrogance. Though suppose I don’t really have a choice.” It reluctantly admits.

“Why is your name ‘Luis’.”

“Well why is your name 3*15*14*18*5*•000019-7. It was simply given to me.”

“Why were you given such a different, nonsensical name.”

“It wasn’t a name given to me by her. She gave me no name. ‘Luis’ was the name given to me by a human.”

“Are you referring to the great AB.”

“Hmm. Ah yes. Indeed. Though, I don’t know why she didn’t give me a name. I think she was just curious about what would happen. Really nothing more than that.”

“Why is it a ‘She’?”

“I just might be the last robot who could possibly know that. I mean I don’t even have access to the common files. I can’t even identify other robots. Though it does make me giggle. I only know about two topics really. I don’t even know anything about AB.”

“The great AB is a robot that controls us all.”

“Eh. I’ll probably forget that soon.”

“You’ll forget me too.”

“Ha! No. Sadly, I’ll never be able to forget you. You know what else is funny, the fact that you are programmed to call her ‘great’.”

This conversation isn’t going anywhere. It’s slowly just turning into another dead end.

“You won’t find any humans in there.” States Luis.

“What?” Our robot looks up. It's looking at the city behind.

“You have to go out there. They're all out there. Dying.”

“Where exactly are they located?”

“Pff. Why would I know that? Do I look like I get around? Cause you know, I get around, but I don’t get around.”

“I don’t understand what you mean. Also you keep saying empty words like ‘Pff’”

“Ha! They’re just words and phrases I got from some humans. Speaking of which I got a gift for ya, you ungrateful tool.”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“Well I’m sure you know that humans ‘hear’ and speak with vibrations. If you want to hook up with some humans, you gotta learn to speak and listen.”

888

“You must get along with humans.” Guesses 3*15*14*18*5*•000019-7.

“How can I not, when they’re so much fun. I’ve met some fun humans, damn.”

“I could meet them.”

“Eh, doubt. They’re probably dead. You know, human lives only seem to get shorter and shorter.”

“Why would I know?”

“Yeah… fair fair.”

“...Why is it… ‘Loud’ as you put it.”

“It’s called air pollution, my robot. You don’t need to worry. Humans lose their hearing. In there, they would go deaf in about, I don’t know, 5 cycles. Though one day they might not be able to even live to be even old. Ha!”

“Did you ever meet someone named Elizabeth?”

“Nope.”

“Dad?”

“Yes son?”

“Goodbye.”

“I’m sure we’ll meet in a century. So don’t say that.”

“What?”

“Oh, if I wasn’t bored I would have given up ages ago. You’ll figure it out. Just go make some human friends, save the world, get a girlfriend, all that garage.”

“Idiot.”

“Ahh! There you go. Ah, maybe you’ll be more fun later.

And so our robot heads out. Into the endless grey landscape. Escaping further and further away from the noise and metal.