Stan II

“Marry”

“Grab my hand,” said Marry happily, inviting me to go on a ferris wheel in an amusement park. That day was full of fun and exciting memories, but the one that’s most conspicuous to me was that particular moment when we held hands and she smiled. I’ve never seen an expression so bright and joyful from her. Ever since she was little, everyone around discriminated against her, she wasn’t loved by anyone, so I guess all her life she hasn't gotten a single moment when she can enjoy herself like this, being loved by someone. Although this might sound pretty bad, downright evil even, I’m glad I could be the only person in this world that loves her, because that would make me the only person in this world that she can love. Her life full of injustice is what intrigued me about her in the first place, so you could say we are perfectly matched, our circumstances that is.

“I will make you the happiest person on earth, so happy that you’ll never think about your past ever again. That’s a promise.”

“I doubt that.. You know how my life was. My mom left me and my dad. Then my dad got so low that he didn’t even raise me almost at all. To add to that, everyone thinks a motherless kid is a loveless-“

“Shhh” said myself while putting my index finger on her soft crimson lips. “This is my promise to you alright? You will be loved and you will love. There will be nothing in this world that would make you sad as long as I’m here.”

“Haha” chuckled Marry, “you really shouldn’t make promises like that, but, I believe you will succeed in keeping it. Sorry for doubting you at first.” Before I could smile out of joy, she took my lips and I embraced it voluntarily. We kept in that position for god knows how long, cherishing this moment as long as we could. Truly, this was the happiest moment in my life.

After we got out of school, we got a home and a job that we both wanted. We even got a child that we both love, our family was nothing but warm and happy.

Then, one night, after Marry got home from work, she told me.

“I have cancer.”

“what- you can’t be- you’re joking right-“

“Does it look like I’m fucking joking Stan.”

“N-no I’m sorry.. So.. what are we going to do?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing. This world developed itself in so many ways for entertainment and for some reason cancer still isn’t curable. Like what the actual fuck.”

“Mommy, why are you cursing?”

Said a little boy, our child.

“Marsh, I don’t think you should be here, how about you go back to your room and watch those videos that you always watch.”

“But daddy and mommy are talking about something serious. I don’t want to be kept away from secrets-“

“Goddammit Marsh listen to your father and go to your fucking room!”

“Marry, don’t shout at Marsh like that!”

“I-I-I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to do.” Marry holds her head and looks down, expressing nothing but despair.

“Mommy, it’s ok, everything is ok. I’m sorry for not listening to dad earlier but I was just worried about you.”

“Y-yeah Marry, we’ll go through this together. Everything’s going to work out.”

That was a lie. Nothing is going to work out. Speaking of lies.

“You didn’t keep your promise, Stan.”

“Wha- oh, I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, you’re just a weak little man thinking you’re special for liking a person like me anyway, I don’t blame you. There’s something I never really told you Stan, the reason why my mom left us was because my dad was too weak. I don’t know the details but things happened and he got depressed, and for some stupid fucking reason he thought it would be a good idea to express it outside. What kind of woman would want to be with a man who couldn’t even stand on his own just because of some mental issues right? A man shouldn’t show emotions, and that is a rule everyone must follow, even you. And because you didn’t, look what happened to me.”

“But Marry, that’s not related to any-“

“It fucking does Stan, it does. I never should have loved you, you’re a weak person, just like my dad, can’t even suppress your tears. Stan, you broke your promise and broke the rule. And me dying is your punishment.”

“…”

“So..

..that’s why,” I’m a lier. I broke my promises twice. I broke the rule for a man as well. Marsh.. Marry.. I’m sorry. I-I am so sorry. I’m such a terrible person. I’m such an asshole. I-I-

“Shhh” said Marry while putting her frail index finger over my dry, pale lips.

“Marry, I-I don’t know what to do.. How can I compensate, what can I d-“

“Grab my hand.”

“…”

“Yes, anything for you Marry.”

“I’m sorry Marsh. For saying the one potent rule for a man is just a wish from your dying mom. But don’t worry, I will take responsibility for my own actions. I will never ever break a promise again, nor will I ever express anything again.”

“Guh

huuh hu huh

aw

hu”

…

I’m sorry dad, it was all my fault.