Mother and Son

I don’t even know where to begin with Satoro’s mom now that I think about it. How do I even tell her about Satoro’s love for art? Do I just come out and tell her how much he wants to keep drawing? What do I do if she starts crying? This is all making my head hurt.

“C’mon, Yuma. This could be fun!” says Yume.

She’s in a loose white shirt and blue jeans today. I guess she took fashion lessons from Mom. I just have a black shirt and khaki shorts I found laying around in my room.

We’re standing outside of Satoro’s house after Mom dropped us off. His house is a single story home, painted green with orange window frames and doors. It’s small and snuggly, doesn’t take up much room, and sits on the corner of the street.

“I don’t know how fun a party about making friends can be…” I respond.

A small tingle travels up my spine the more I think about having to talk to Satoro’s mom. Part of me wishes this door doesn’t open so I don’t have to face her or Satoro. I don’t want to make someone else cry. It would only make me hate myself even more.

“Don’t be like that, Yuma. They went through the effort of throwing it in the first place.”

Yume begins knocking on the door, but the door cracks open before Yume could even get a second knock off. Satoro’s mom greets us with a gasp before closing the door again. Several locks get turned and unlatched before she fully opens the door to fully meet us.

“You two! You’re actually here!” says Satoro’s mom.

She sounds pretty relieved that we’re here.

 “Yes…? Why would we not be?” asks Yume as she tilts her head.

“I…no, nothing. Come in, come in!”

Satoro’s mom waves us in and we follow her. She’s pretty nervous for throwing a party. I’m pretty sure nobody else is here considering Satoro only knows me and Yume. The inside of the house is neatly clean, but there is a potted plant at nearly every corner of the house. The house is even smaller on the inside. The living room and kitchen are connected as one big room. There’s a sweet scent in the air; it smells like strawberry. I don’t see Satoro anywhere. Makes me wonder if he knows we’re even here.

Satoro’s mom pats a soft, brown couch and says, “Here! You can sit here while Satoro and I still get ready! Sorry for not being ready yet!”

She rushes off behind a wall heading into another room or hallway. I can’t see what’s behind from here. Yume and I plop down onto the couch, and it sinks under our weight.

“Hey Yuma,” says Yume.

“Yeah?” I respond.

“I’ve been thinking…what if I just make her forget about her previous husband? Wouldn’t all of the problems just go away then? That way, she would let Satoro keep drawing, and we could be one step closer to bringing me back to the moon.”

That solution did cross my mind. Yume’s power of memory manipulation would certainly make things so much easier. If Yume could just delete all the memories of Satoro’s dad from his mom’s mind, then we wouldn’t even have to worry about convincing her to let Satoro continue doing art. Yume’s power is exactly the shortcut that we need.

“Can you do me a favor then, Yume?”

All Yume has to do is just grab a hold of Satoro’s mom. All Yume has to do is make Satoro’s mom forget all that pain and trauma. All Yume has to do is just make the memories go away.

“Of course. Just let me know, and I’ll do it.”

My heart’s beating so hard in my chest. I want to take the easy way out. I want someone else to solve my problems for me. I want to help Satoro. This is the right decision. Is it? Yeah, it is. There’s only one way to do this.

“Yume…”

Yume looks at me in anticipation. She’s more ready than me. This girl is so determined to use her powers for me at my command without hesitation. Satoro’s mom would probably be happier if she just forgot what her ex-husband did to her and Satoro. She would probably be less paranoid and more open to her son wanting to pursue a life of art. It would also mean Satoro wouldn’t have to be tied down to his own mom and be free.

I take a deep breath and finally say, “…please keep our promise of never using your powers again.”

Yume blinks a few times and then says, “Huh? Are you sure?”

But then, what’s the point? If all of that pain and misery could be erased in an instant without any consequences or lessons, then what’s the point? Satoro will still remember so we have to erase his memories as well. Then, we’d have to find Satoro’s dad somehow and erase his memories so he doesn’t freak out why his ex-wife and son doesn’t remember anything about him. Then, we’d also have to erase the memories of everyone else who knows Satoro and his mom too since there’s always a chance they would bring up those past events. Then, she would have to erase my memories as well so I wouldn’t carry that guilt—which would leave Yume alone, and I don’t know if she could even erase her own memories. I can’t decide what’s worse: Yume being alone in remembering the entire scenario, or nobody remembering at all.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Yet, even without that spiderweb of playing with people’s memories, what’s the point? Erasing those memories won’t make either of them happier. Sure, they’ll find peace for a little while, but what happens when they feel that huge missing piece of their life? Would they continue ignoring it, or would they eventually seek why that hole is there in the first place? Even if that somehow didn’t happen, even after they both go on with their lives without ever having to think about Satoro’s dad ever again, what’s the point of erasing that memory? One of the few things we truly have to ourselves are our memories after all. They can make us, break us, mold us, or encourage us. It’s why I can’t let Yume just erase those memories like nothing. Without memories, we would drift aimlessly without a purpose to remember or people to care about. Sometimes, memories are all we have left when the place or person is no longer there. I feel a small lump in my throat as I remember Hiroto saying goodbye for the final time on the doorsteps of my house. No, now’s not the time for that.

“Okay, I’ll leave it to you then, Yuma.”

I have to do this. If I don’t, then I won’t be able to have my own freedom back. It’s more than just me though, right? Yume also has to get back to the moon, and Satoro wants to keep drawing. I’ll do this my way.

Satoro’s mom comes back into the room, looks around, then exclaims, “We’re almost ready! Just sit tight!”

“Miss Fujimura, can we talk?” I ask her.

“Sure, if you don’t mind me cleaning some stuff,” she responds while reaching out to grab some crumpled up papers.

“It’s about your ex-husband.”

She freezes in place. Yume lets out a gasp at my sudden bluntness. This is the only way I can slow her down. I can’t let myself get caught in her fast pace or else I won’t get a single word out.

“Yuma!” whispers Yume in a harsh tone.

Sorry Yume, but I have to go directly for the heart—even if it’s going to hurt.

“It’s about him and Satoro,” I continue saying.

“…Satoro told you, huh?” asks Satoro’s mom.

I nod, and say, “He’s told us a lot, to be honest.”

She lets out a deep breath and sits on a nearby chair. Her shoulders slump and she leans back. It’s as if all of the energy just shot out of her in an instant.

 “I’m sorry if I’m being so sudden, but—”

“No, it’s fine,” says Satoro’s mom. She cuts me off before I can continue. “It just means I don’t have to keep up the charade anymore then.” She wryly smiles.

“Charade?” asks Yume.

“Yeah. If you two already know that I’m some lowly divorced woman, then what’s the point of trying to act like a supermom?”

Hold on. That’s what she’s worried about? I don’t think Yume or I even saw her as anything less than a mom.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“You know, I just wanted Satoro to be able to live normally. I didn’t want to be a chain around his foot anymore. He…deserves a better mom.”

“But you are his mom,” says Yume.

“Yeah, but I’m just that woman who lost her husband to another chick, the woman who couldn’t afford the artist, the woman who’s raising a kid on her own…I’ve heard it all. So whatever you want to call me, go ahead. Just leave my kid out of it.”

Seems like she’s had a hard time raising Satoro alone. Rumors about Satoro and his mom have been spreading longer than I thought, huh? Man, that’s messed up.

“Nah, we don’t really care about that kind of stuff, right Yume?” I ask.

“Yeah!” responds Yume. “Those people who say that are just mean.”

“Sure. Wouldn’t be the first time someone pretended to be nice to me though,” says Satoro’s mom.

“We wouldn’t be here if we really did think of you like that. Besides, you’re throwing a party for Satoro making friends. I can’t say I’ve ever seen any other mom do that, including my own,” I respond.

Satoro’s mom wryly smiles again.

“Alright then, kid. Why do you want to talk about the guy who left me? Satoro’s still getting dressed so we got some time.”

Her high energy persona has finally disappeared. She has more of a scowl on her face now with the way she grinds her teeth and narrows her eyes. She slowly ties her hair into a ponytail and she lets out a sigh. I finally got through to her real self.

“Satoro still wants to draw no matter what, but he’s afraid of doing so because he doesn’t want to torment you or bring up bad memories,” I answer.

I hope she can see things from Satoro’s side. She’s not the only one who feels like she’s tied to the artist who left them. I feel a single bead of sweat slide down then right side of my head.

“Satoro still thinks that’s the reason, huh?” asks Satoro’s mom. She looks up and lets out a deep breath. “Sure, maybe a long time ago, but I’m over it. Drawing is in Satoro’s blood after all, and it’s not like I hate art. Hell, that’s why I married the guy in the first place.”

So Satoro’s mom is okay with art then. That still doesn’t explain why she won’t let Satoro draw.

“Huh? Then Satoro can freely draw, can’t he?” asks Yume.

“Nah, he can’t.”

Yume tilts her head and asks, “Why not?”

I’m still a little lost on why she won’t let Satoro draw…unless the problem doesn’t lie with Satoro’s mom, but rather, with Satoro himself.

“It’s because of Satoro, isn’t it?” I ask.

His mom smiles. I figured as much. He wasn’t hiding his drawings because he didn’t want people looking before he finished. He was hiding his drawings because he didn’t want people to know he was drawing. The rumors and whispers about Satoro was never about his physical looks or his awkward interactions with other people.

“I just didn’t want him to get harassed like back then before we moved,” answers Satoro’s mom.

“Because his dad was also an artist?” I ask.

His mom nods. Makes sense. If people found out that the son of a cheating father also had the same talent and passions, people will start talking about other similarities Satoro and his dad may have.

“It’s why I had to take him out of school in the first place. We were broke, and then to have all that nasty gossip surrounding him, it wasn’t fair to Satoro that all of this happened, even though none of it was his fault. I had to homeschool him after the bullying got physical.”

“All because Satoro wanted to draw?” I ask.

His mom nods again. She lets out another sigh.

“How awful…” says Yume.

“And now all I have left is him. I can’t believe I’m telling a couple of kids this story. Maybe I’ve given up,” says Satoro's mom.

“No, you haven’t given up, have you?” I ask.

If she did give up, she wouldn’t have put up a charade just so new people don’t have a stigma about her or Satoro. She wouldn’t have thrown a party for her son just because he met some new friends. Most importantly, she still stopped her son because she didn’t want him to get bullied anymore. It’s kind of funny; both Satoro and his mom care more for each other than themselves.

“I certainly feel like it,” answers Satoro’s mom.

“You haven’t given up. Us and Satoro are proof of that. It’s why we’re here. We’re celebrating Satoro making friends, right?” I ask.

“Yeah! It’s supposed to be a party!” exclaims Yume.

Satoro’s mom looks at us both and lets out a laugh. I hope my words reached her.

“Fine, I’ll trust what you said for now. However, if you two deceive my son and hurt him in any way, I will never forgive you, and I will make sure you two regret ever talking to him,” says Satoro’s mom.

She stares right into my eyes with furrowed brows and pursed lips. She has every right to be skeptical after all she and Satoro have gone through. Who could she even trust after everyone she’s known has tossed her away?

I look right back into her eyes and respond, “I’ll make sure he stays safe with us.”

She deeply inhales and exhales, and then smiles again. It looks like she’s finally able to let her guard down after having to stay alert for such a long time. Just how long has she had to keep her guard up for Satoro?

“Thank you. Now then, let’s get on with this party, yeah?” says, Satoro’s mom.

“Yes! Although, where is Satoro? He should’ve been done by now, right?” asks Yume.

“You’re right. He is taking a while. Let me check on him,” answers Satoro’s mom.

She walks back behind the wall. All we need to do now is let Satoro know that he can draw again. Once that’s done, we can finally relax a bit. Satoro’s mom comes running back. She’s breathing hard and frantically looking around. A chill crawls up my spine upon realizing that she came back alone. Did something happen to Satoro?

“I can’t believe he decided to head to the museum today out of all days…” says Satoro’s mom.

“Huh?” asks Yume.

“The museum?” I ask.

I’m relieved. Nothing bad happened to him.

“Yeah, he goes to the nearby art museum whenever he’s stressed and depressed. It’s like his zen place.”

He must’ve been anxious about this party and art situation he’s in. Considering his past, I’m not surprised he went there just in case he gets burned by more people. Damn, I feel even worse for what he’s gone through. He probably already thinks he’s trapped and has to give up his art. We need to get to him.

“Then, let’s go,” I say.

“Yeah! We can’t let him miss out on his own party!” adds Yume.

“Alright. Time to bring him home,” says Satoro’s mom.

And it’s also time to let Satoro’s art free.