Distance Between the Two

"So first you tell me that you can hear other people's thoughts. But not mine."

"Yes." I'm just staring at my feet at this point. I know full well just how suspicious all of this is sounding.

"And now you miraculously discover that when I'm near you you can't hear other people's thoughts anymore?"

". . . Yes. . ." I still haven't even done anything to try and prove that I can hear other people's thoughts and now this? I don't need to read her thoughts to know what's coming next. . .

"And I suppose you're now going to tell me that you're not just making all of this up to get close to me?"

Yeah it looks bad. . . I have to be honest and clear with her. No more moping. I looked her in the eyes. That's definitely a look of genuine suspicion alright. As I expected.

"I would never do something like that! I swear!" It was the truth. I could only hope that she could see the sincerity in my eyes and believe me.

"Why should I believe you?" Her voice sounded a little cold. I don't think she bought it. I have to stay resolute and honest.

"I wouldn't spend the last five years distancing myself from people just to trick someone into being my friend now. . ." One more push. "Because I don't have any desire to be close to anyone! Ever!" Ah. . . Maybe that was a push too far. . .

"I see. . ." She looked like she just had her heart broken. Does she hate me now? What should I do? "Lets. . . Go back to class."

"Okay. . ." I don't know how to salvage this situation. . . It's over.

We didn't say another word as we returned to the classroom. No one saw us walking down the stairs and we kept our distance walking down the hall.

After school I saw Tsutsumi-san rush out the door pretty much as soon as the bell rang. I guess I hurt her pretty badly. I'm not even sure what hurt her more, thinking I was making everything up in order to get close to her or essentially telling her to her face that I didn't want to have anything to do with her. They're both pretty bad to be honest.

I really am the worst. . .

_________________________

I didn't sleep well. I couldn't get Tsutsumi-san's sad expression out of my mind. Of course she wouldn't message me now and I felt like I had no right to message her anymore. I spent most of the night staring at the ceiling. Thinking. Did I even get sleep? I have no idea.

I entered the classroom and didn't even look her way. I immediately slumped down at my desk and buried my face in my arms. As usual I was once again assaulted by my classmates errant thoughts.

"Where's Tomoe? I didn't finish my homework. Help me please!"

Shut up. . .

"That movie last night was so sad. . . No more tears! Think of something else!"

Shut. . . up. . .

"Sakiko is coming over to teach me how to bake that cake she made! Oh my god I can't wait!"

. . .

". . . . . . . ."

There she is. . . Somehow she feels even further away from me now than ever before. It's all my fault. . . My head hurts. My chest hurts. I don't want to be here.

"Sensei! Wakabayashi-san doesn't look well!"

That was Kurata-san. She's on the health committee.

"Very well. . . Accompany her to the infirmary."

I'm in your debt Kurata-san. . . I'll try to be a little less cold to you this time. Just this once.

I slept most of the morning in the infirmary. Suzuki-sensei was in and out and kept checking on me. She was just as concerned as usual but not for the usual reason. I was running a fever. Whenever I have an episode the fever goes down quickly after I collapse. So she knows this is not one of those times. It's just general concern for my well being.

It was lunchtime now. the hallway was getting noisy with people coming and going. A sudden knock on the door. "Come in!" Then silence. "A prank?" Another knock. "Come i. . . ah screw it." I could hear the wheels of her chair glide across the floor as she got up to answer the door. She was too far away for me to hear her now. Silence is golden.

"Eh? Out here? Okay. . ." The door closed behind her. I'm not sure what this is all about but it's given me a few moments peace at least. So I'm grateful.

Only a few moments, though. . . The door opened again soon after and someone walked in and closed the door. I don't think it's Suzuki-sensei. These footsteps are lighter. Kurata-san?

". . . . . . . ."

Tsutsumi-san. . . Why is she here? This is awkward. . . She pulled back the curtain and gazed upon me with seeming indifference. My chest hurts.

"May I come in?"

. . . I didn't know how to respond so I just looked away from her in shame and stayed silent. Instead of leaving she pulled up a chair and sat down next to me.

"Wakabayashi-san?"

"Why?" I forced myself to speak. "Why are you here?"

"Kurata-san couldn't come to check on you so I came in her place. I'm on the health committee after all."

What? I was dumbfounded. I thought Kurata-san was the only health committee member in our class. With my health being the way it is the school would have told me if there were others. "Health committee? Since when? Why wasn't I told?" I slowly sat up and finally mustered the courage to look at her. She was calm. Collected. A little cold.

"Since yesterday after class. I guess no one told you yet."

Is that why she left so quickly after school? But why? I don't understand.

"You look a bit dazed. Are you still feeling unwell? Maybe you should rest some more." Sorry did I say a little cold? Make that a lot cold. It felt like she was shooting icicles directly into my heart.

"No I'm fine. . ." I can't let this continue. I have to say something. Anything. "I'm sorry about yesterday. . ."

"Oh? And what do you have to be sorry about from yesterday?" How much colder can she possibly get?

"Everything. . . It feels like I pushed all my problems on to you. Then I had that sudden fit on the roof." I feel awful. . . "Suddenly hugging you like that. . . Giving that reason. . . I don't blame you for thinking I was trying to take advantage of you. To trick you."

"Is that all?"

Ah. So it was that after all. "No. . . Worst of all I hurt you by implying I didn't even want to be your friend."

"But you spoke with so much conviction. Are you telling me that was a lie?"

Bullseye. "No. . . It wasn't a lie exactly. . ."

"Then what was it exactly?" She was still cold, but I could sense that she honestly wanted to hear what I had to say. It made me feel a little bit of relief. A little bit. If she was willing to hear me out then maybe, just maybe, that means she wants to make up with me even after all of this mess. "Well?" Do I really still have a chance to save our friendship? I wanted to believe.

Be clear. Be honest. Hope for forgiveness. I could feel myself start to shake. I was so nervous. I didn't want her to hate me. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Not after finally finding someone who accepted me.

"When I said I had no desire to be close to anyone at all it was the truth. . . But. . ."

"Go on."

"That was the truth before I met you. It's not the truth now. I've changed." Yes. This is the whole truth isn't it? I've only known Tsutsumi-san for five days and she's already changed me. I realized it almost as soon as I uttered those awful words yesterday, didn't I? But I felt that anything I said would sound like an excuse.

"I don't know If I deserve to be your friend anymore after yesterday. . . But I want to be close to you Tsutsumi-san." I'm really shaking now. Please don't hate me. . . "If you'll forgive me. . . I want to be someone who can become your. . . your. . . precious friend!" Oh god. . . Did I actually say that? I can't look her in the eye after saying that. I can tell I'm blushing pretty bad right now. I'm still shaking. I'm so nervous and afraid. I want to cry. It's written all over my face. My hands aren't big enough to cover all of this up.

She sighed loudly. "What am I to do with you?" The coldness melted. Next thing I knew her arms were gently wrapped around me.

"Eh? Why? I'm not having a fit."

"Do you really have to ask? My precious friend is feeling sad and lonely. Wouldn't you do the same for me?"

Ah. That's it. I can't hold it anymore. I thought I was stronger than this. But it was all a front. Another mask. I tried really hard to keep myself together but now that it's over I know. I'm not strong at all. "I'm so, so sorryyyyyy." Here comes the waterworks.

"It's okay." Her voice was shaky. I could tell she was crying too. "I forgive you."

For the next thirty minutes it felt like I made up for five years worth of pent up tears. At that moment I vowed to myself that no matter what I would never, ever do anything to make this girl cry ever again. My one and only precious friend.

_________________________

"So. . ." Suzuki-sensei was staring at us sternly. She was sat down in her chair, legs and arms crossed. We were both sitting on the bed, hands on our knees, heads slightly bowed with embarrassment. Our eyes bloodshot. Our faces drenched with tears. Our uniforms disheveled. Our hair a complete mess. Tsutsumi-san's hair was a little worse than mine due to hers being shoulder length while mine was cut really short. More hair, more mess.

"Lunch is almost over. But I can't really send you girls back to class looking like this now, can I?"

As if rehearsed we both replied simultaneously with "We're sorry, sensei."

She tried to stifle a laugh, failed, then coughed and regained her composure. "Well I won't have to say anything for Wakabayashi's absence as she was already here, but I don't know how I'm going to explain Tsutsumi-san missing class."

"It's okay. I'll go. . ."

"Enough of that. Here." She handed us both a cold, wet facecloth each. "Clean up your faces and fix your hair and uniforms. I'll think of some reason Tsutsumi-san needs to stay behind. Somehow. . ."

Again, as if rehearsed. "We're sorry, sensei."

"Stop that! It was only funny once!"

"Yes, sensei."

"Yes, sensei."

". . ." A wild facepalm appears. "Well thanks to you two I couldn't have lunch."

I choose you frienduo! "We're so. . ."

"Stop!" She held her palm up in front of us for emphasis. It was super effective. "I'm going to go eat." She got up and placed her hands on her hips while looking down at us. We both looked up at her in unison. "Can you read each other's minds or something?" My irony meter just broke. Tsutsumi-san is the only mind I can't read. "Anyway, try and make yourselves presentable while I'm gone. I'll speak with your teacher on my way to the staff room."

Before we could speak she raised her palm in front of us again. "No! I'm leaving now." And then she turned and left. The door clicked behind her and we were alone again.

"You can hear my thoughts?" I asked flatly.

"Not funny." Equally flat.

"Sorry. I can't read your mood." See above.

With that she chuckled and then we both burst out into laughter.

"That wasn't even funny." I said as the laughter subsided.

"Not even a little." She stopped laughing as well.

"Right." With that we set about the task of making ourselves presentable again. Starting with our tear soaked faces.

She sighed. "Five days and we've already had our first big fight, huh?"

"Three days if you don't count the weekend." I quickly retorted. I suddenly stopped washing my face and let my arm drop down to my side. ". . . I never want to fight with you again. . ."

She stopped as well and turned towards me. She looked like she was lost deep in thought. I had no way of knowing what she was thinking. "You know, I'm still not sure if I believe you." She spoke softly. I hung my head a little. I get it. It's just been one crazy thing after another. "But somehow. . . even after only five days. . . and already our first fight. . . I feel like I can trust you. It's weird. . ."

I looked up and for the first time since lunch yesterday I saw that sweet smile of hers once more and all was right with the world. "Funny. . ."

"What is?"

"Ever since I met you I've been thinking about how I don't have to hide anything from you. That I could tell you everything and you'd still accept me for who I am." I looked away, my cheeks bright with embarrassment. "Being with you is comforting. It's peaceful. I like it."

"Hey. . . Wakabayashi-san. . . You would never lie to me?"

My face still burning, I turned to her again with a serious, if red, expression. Her deep blue eyes were shimmering as she gazed at me with a look of eager anticipation. "Never. I never want to do anything ever again that would make you cry." I meant every word.

And then I watched as for the first time I saw her cheeks slowly flush a bright rosy color. I thought I'd seen her blush before but this was on a whole other level. I may have stopped breathing for a second there. Her beaming smile may be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life, but this was definitely a close second.

"I believe you." Was it just me or did her voice sound somewhat. . . Dreamy?

"T. . . Thanks." I was completely caught off guard. I had no idea how to react.

We just sat there for a moment. Seemingly admiring each others faces. She was dazzling. I wondered what she was seeing. What she was thinking. In that moment. It felt like eternity and for some reason I never wanted it to end.

But it couldn't last. We both seemed to wake from our shared reverie at the same time. "Ah. . . We need to hurry up." She said while attempting to fix her uniform. Averting her gaze from me.

"Right. . ." I did likewise.

We never said another word until sensei came back. But this wasn't like yesterdays silence. This time I knew. We were going to be okay.

". . . You would never lie to me?"

"Never. I never want to do anything ever again that would make you cry."

"I believe you."

I had a feeling I would never forget those words for the rest of my life. The features of her face at that moment were engraved into my memory.

_________________________

Suzuki-sensei was only gone about twenty minutes or so. Thanks to being. . . distracted, Tsutsumi-san was still trying to tame her hair when she returned. We were deathly quiet and still lightly blushing.

"Okay. . . Tsutsumi-sa. . ." As soon as she saw us she suddenly stopped in her tracks mid sentence and just stared at us. We were both staring at the floor in opposite directions. Tsutsumi-san was gently brushing her hair. "I see. . ."

We snapped out of it and looked back at her. "Sensei?" Tsutsumi-san was the first to speak. Suzuki-sensei was addressing her after all.

"Uh. . . Right. Well you seem. . . fine now. I told your teacher I had an important call to make and asked you to. . . watch over Wakabayashi while I was gone. You can go back to class now."

"Thank you sensei." She slid off the bed and bowed, then turned to me. "I'll see you later Wakabayashi-san."

"Sure." And with that she quietly left. Suzuki-sensei just watched her as Tsutsumi-san walked out and closed the door behind her. I have a bad feeling about this. . .

"Free sushi!"

Huh? Something about sushi? Why?

"Soooo. . . Wakabayashi. . ." Here it comes. "You seem to be. . . fine now too. You may leave as well." Is that it? What was that about sushi then? "But before that. . ." Here comes the sushi. . . She sat down in front of me and crossed her arms and legs, staring at me with the most sickly sweet grin I've seen in a long time. "Bluefin."

"Come again?" Bluefin? Wait. . . She's going to try and make me buy her expensive sushi isn't she. . . But how? I'm suddenly getting chills. . .

"The negotiations can begin there."

"Wait. . . Negotiations?"

"Mhm." Her voice was just as sickly sweet as her smile. It was beyond creepy.

"Why would I. . ."

"You wouldn't want me to tell everyone about you and Tsutsumi-san, would you?"

Telling people something about Tsutsumi-san? Like wha. . . "Oh crap. . ."

"I'm assuming you want to keep what happened here today. . . private." I could feel the blood slowly draining from my face and I broke out into a cold sweat.

"Wakabayashi will have to bribe me with expensive sushi."

I'm not even going to try and remember that thought. Whatever it was I couldn't get it in one lobe and out the other fast enough. . .

"To maintain your expertly crafted image and all that."

"Ah. . . S. . . so in order to. . . keep it s. . . secret. . ."

"That's right. <3 I accept payment in sushi. <3 And not the cheap stuff either. <3"

Curse you evil tuna!!!

Thankfully Suzuki-sensei wasn't serious about the bluefin. About tuna, yes. Bluefin, no. It didn't take long to pry the word "yellowtail" from one of her thoughts and I was able to successfully bribe her with that. Once a month for the next 4 months. . . My poor allowance.

_________________________

It's awfully quiet here now that Wakabayashi left. Poor girl. I think I might have teased her too much. She was pale as a ghost. Now that I think about it, I don't really care about sushi. I just wanted to tease her a little bit. I'm sure she'll be back before the month is up. I'll tell her to forget about the sushi. If she comes in with sushi before then. . . I guess I'll just share it with her.

I lay back in my chair with my hands behind my head, stretched a little and then relaxed while staring at the ceiling, deep in thought.

She rarely shows any emotion besides anger or indifference. Today she was so. . . expressive. She actually cried. I couldn't believe it. The tough-as-nails "Lone Wolf" actually cried. And she laughed when she thought I was gone. And that face she had when I came back. She's like a completely different girl. She was so. . . normal. Defenseless.

Why though? Is it because of Tsutsumi-san? It's obvious they both care for each other. How did they even manage to become friends? And seemingly overnight. To say it's shocking is an understatement. What happened between those two I wonder. . . They look really good together, though. They're so different that they actually compliment each other perfectly.

It's only been a few months, but with how often I see Wakabayashi she's almost like a little sister to me. She's always underfoot. I worry about her sometimes. But maybe with Tsutsumi-san around I won't have to worry as much anymore? Now all I have to worry about is her health, right? I can leave healing her heart to Tsutsumi-san, right? I'll keep watching over her. Over them now I guess. We'll see where it goes.

A sudden knock on the door. Right now it sounds like I might have someone else to tease. . . I mean treat. "Come in!"