Chapter 6 CHANCES

The buzzing of the alarm on my phone slowly woke me up. I am still lying on my bed , comfortably hugged by my blanket.I don't want to get up yet for I am still frustrated again by losing so much at that much last night. Who was that guy anyway?Suddenly calling out to start a fight.Well I cant say that he is not so bad for I lost , 2-1.Actually , he is really good , but his play style changed on the mid game , when I mentioned that his play style is similar to the play style of the so called "STRATEGIST ", which is the game that I am victorious of. Did he pulled his punches on me to hide something? And that guy from the library , will I be able to see him again? I really want to capture him and put him on a canvas. The thought of that guy from the library surged through my being as if I was being electrified and charged which made me get up and off the bed.

As usual , my clothes are ready , so I head to the shower and get dress after that.Down at the dining room , meals are already prepared , my parents are already gone to work , so I am solo eating again.Which I don't dislike , because whenever I eat with them , they are always telling me about my future...which they have decided , I hate that.After finishing my meal , I hurried to the car and off I go to the university.

Classes started and ended as usual , however since that Duke is here and attending each of my classes is really getting so annoyed for he is always showing off with that facade and dragging me with him.So I tried my best to evade him today , because I want to see that guy from yesterday.

Duke is trying to look gentlemanly in front of the crowd by escorting at my club room .On my way there , he persistently asked me to let him carry my stuff and I stubbornly refuse all the time.I can hear the giggling of the girls and the guys on my way there.Its beginning to look like a TV show , but to me its sickening.

I'll admit it , he is truly good looking , but I don't get it why people consistently judges a person based on how they look or act especially in public.They don't care what people do on closed doors , and build an image that a person so perfect that drowns them from reality to fantasy. Well I am not one of those people.

I know for sure that this guys outer self is the polar opposite of his inside self.He is a good person , always helping , always giving , especially when a lot of people are watching , but I bet on his own time , when no one or only irrelevant people are there his true nature will surface.This fake show-off kind of guy will be the least type of person I am going to get close with .

So , when we arrived at the club room , I shut the door close for him and locked it.It startled the other members so I put my index finger on my lips to gesture silence and they all nodded. I head towards the window , we are on the first floors its safe to get out of here , which I did to get out of that his presence , to go to the science department library to meet that guy again.

I rushed behind the main building off he arts department , which has a staff only entrance to the science department building.Being the daughter of my parents still have its perks , though I am not a big fan of it.Guards and staff who saw me there just look at me for a second and realize that I am someone who has a very close connection to the owner of this institution , they just let me off.

The staff only entrance brought me to the area where I need to go around the science department building to reach its library.It is not that far or close either , so I will just tough it up.So I walked in a normal pace since that jerk by now , should be flirting with other girls at the arts department.he wont search for me here or anywhere and that is really goo.For now I am free again.

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At the library , I was greeted by the student assistants.seems like I am also quite known by the students here.I just sneaked in yesterday so I didn't have a chance to be greeted.Greetings from a stranger really picks me up. To me , its like a reminder that all of us are connected that no one is truly a stranger to one another , because at some degree , no matter how small , the people sitting next to you is acquainted to someone that is acquainted to you , which makes you two , acquainted to each other as well.

I walk across the cabinets which are make shift walls of the table he was reading at yesterday.Slowly I move to surprise him but , he wasn't yet there.the tables and chairs are empty. I am a bit disappointed , I walk to the chair he was sitting at yesterday , and in my head , I pictured him.His spiky hair , focused soulful eyes, and a very sharp energy emanating around him like a rapier which pinpoints its target.I look to my left and saw the book he is reading yesterday . I grabbed it and started reading it even though I have already watched the film version of it.

Media really affects people , even if it is the same narrative ,films and books are quite worlds apart.I was focused on the book that I cant even feel my surroundings.I am almost completely lost to it until I sensed someone is staring at me . I shook my head forward and looked over my shoulder .A guy for a second was there but quickly hid behind the cabinets.He did not ran away , he is just hiding and he is the one I came here for.So I silently but quickly move to the cabinet, duck a bit , and slowly moved my face to see the other side. A second later his face showed up , I knew that it was coming so it did not surprise me , but him , he was so surprised that he moved back suddenly and almost lose his balance.

I am really glad , really glad to see again , for I felt like at peace , looking at him.I straighten my back from my slouch , put my hands on my back , turn my body slightly sideways , made a half smile and greeted him.

"hey...we meet again my precious subject"- I said then urn that half smile into a full smile.he is just like , standing there , like a deer frozen by the headlights.

A second later he look straight through me or so I thought but , he only noticed the book that I am reading on the table.

"of I am sorry , I read it first , if you like you can have it?"-I said tempting him to owe me a favor which he seems to notice for he did not say a word , he just stood there with a skeptic look.

So that did not work huh...! I returned to my seat to continue my reading . A few seconds later he walked towards the shelf to pick a book , I guess. He is now standing , close enough for me to examine him a bit.His mid –build shoulders , slouchy stature , his height , the back of his head , everything. I kept staring a him until he looked over his shoulder which made me looked away.

I think he really is being afraid because after he picked a book, he walked pass behind me to the last chair on the edge of this long table . He covered his left cheeks with his left hands which is acting as a head rest before he started reading.

Though I cant see much details his silhouette is enough reference so I kept staring at him.several moments later he put down his left hand probably to ask me about the stares so I quickly started to talk before he could even say a word...

"hey...this book is made into a film right?"- I asked

"yeah ...I guess so"-he answered.

Okay , conversion starter success.I look at him as he turn a page on the book that he was reading.Seems like he is lost in a deep thought.so I need to say something snappy to make him notice me.

"hmmn...then why are you still reading it yesterday?"- I asked again which made him snapped out of his deep thought and look towards me.

"isn't that goes for you as well?"-he asked in return which sounded like an intimidation, maybe this guy was trying to intimidate me so I will stop talking to him.Sorry pal it takes more than that to chase me away.

"well ...I want to compare the book and the film so I am reading it."-I said nonchalantly.

He looked a bit surprised on what I have just said . So I guess my assumption is correct.Now I think I will strike while the iron is still hot.

"you were thinking that you said something smart ass that should have provoked me aren't you?"- I asked .Still the same surprised look so I guess I will just keep going.

"Now you are thinking if I can read you mind?"-I said.He leaned slightly sideways from me , I guess reading that book about cold reading really paid off.

My prey is helpless , or so I thought , a second later , he breathe in and out deeply and resumed his reading position.

"so you can use it too huh?...cold reading."-he said still looking at his book.

I chuckled a bit and became silent.Afterwards that silence seized the atmosphere around us , he stopped my barrage so I need to pick up a pace again.I flipped a page on the book that I am reading and realized that he was like Quentine , the male protagonist of this book.

"hey"-I said , for I have a new attack plan.he look my way and I did the same before continuing

"I have a feeling that you are Quentine in this story"-I exclaimed , he looked away to face the window and asked

"why is that ?"-he asked then look at me again.

His stares is a bit taunting , looking at me sideways , head tilted , eyes focused.

"no reasons...its just my gut telling me that you are the complete opposite of me"I said , he looked at the book he was reading again and asked why I said that he is the opposite of me.

"because you seemed to be so structured in everything you do and you follow a set of plan or go to the path of least resistance or the safest way "-I answered

He was quite for second and the he sighed.he seems disappointed so ...

"am I wrong ?"-I asked

"not exactly , its just that I kinda feel sorry for myself for I have that somewhat low impression from the lower years"-he answered

So does it bother him to buts in the sidelines?wait a second.

"lower years?"- I asked.

"I am actually on my final year now and you are a second year right?"- he asked as well.

"oh.. so you have been doing this for four years?"- I asked again.

"doing what"-he asked in return

"living in the sideline"- I answered , he paused for a second then

"probably , well I kinda like living in the sidelines anyway so no worries ...I guess"-he said .

Now I think that a proper conversation just begun so as a common courtesy I put down the book that I am reading face him and asked.

"do you really think you can call that living"-I asked in a serious manner , as I stare at him intently , so intense that it made him look at me.When I sensed that he was about to answer it , I presented another premise

"you are just living as a mob character in your own life story , trying to play safe all the time how do you call that living at all?"-I said.He seemed overwhelmed , probably because of being lectured about his way of life by a complete stranger. he looked at me dumbfounded , and seems lost in a deep thought again.

"see...even now you are playing safe by thinking through what is the safest thing to say first."-I said all of a sudden which really caught him by surprise.

Him being silent for a moment convinced me that he is a tough nutshell to crack , which really gets me excited for I know that the tougher the nut the more delicious the inside will be.But I also know that pushing too hard will eventually make a prey too distant and out of reach. So I think I will stop from here and wait and see what will happen.

I got back to my book and so he did.few moment of silence later then he said.

"I think surviving is the only way to live for a talent less person like me , in this world full of geniuses"-he said which really irritated me. Seems like I have been reading him all wrong. "genius" , he uttered a word that really made me angry so I slapped the book close and look at him furiously and said

"Genius...that is your excuse?"-I asked.I was still angry while waiting for a response but he just sit there looking at me , surprised and quite , until he lowered the book he is holding and apologized

"sorry about that ... I shouldn't have brought that word out ...I think I kind of know the reason behind your anger"-he said which I didn't expected so I leaned back to my chair and ask.

"what do you mean by that ?"- I asked

"you are called the empress of the arts department for a reason right?"-he asked as well , which is just adding fuel to my fire

"no , I don't mean to piss you off but being called something like that , one should have a god like talent or born from a very powerful family , in your case ...its both ...right?"-he said.

For as long as I remember , people only talk to me to get close to my family and experience our prestige and extravagant lifestyle or get acquainted by my family popular name.

"it's the first time"-I said , without a thought

"hhmmn?"-he seemed confused , I breathe in and out deeply to relax myself , and with a smile as genuine as my instincts will allow , eye closed , dimples showing up , slightly tilted head .

"you are the first to ask that."-I said

"ask what?"-he asked confusedly

"that question , what else could it be."- answered

"so why does that question makes you seem happy?"-he asked

"well...you see...most guys will ask me out whenever I talk to them and none ever asks me if I have a talent or born from a prominent family."- I said which he has no response to

"no one ask about those because they already know , because those people were just "paper people"."-I explained as I held up the book to show him the title.He shook his head , maybe he is starting to get what I am saying.

"you are the first to not know who am I"- I continued He grinned for a second then said.

"of course I know who you are ...I just called you empress remember"-he said

"if you knew , why did you asked that?"-I asked

"I just want to confirm something"-he said looking at the stained glass window in front of us.

I asked what he want to confirm then he explained that his question has somewhat have a psychological test like twist. On the surface there are only 3 choices but he said that not answering it which I did made me choose the unseen 4th answer.Which according to him , mean I despise my talent for it cages me and the people who branded me as a genius are my warden.

Amazing , just how complex does this guys mind is?It made me wonder if there is more he wants to say in this conversation , this genuine conversation . Something that I have yearned for a very long time.

"Amazing"- the only word that have left my mouth after he explained everything he wants to say.

"what?"-he asked

I answered that he seemed to be a very passive individual who is living in the sidelines yet he can read through people that much , that deep.

"well...you are not the only one who can use profiling and cold reading..."-he said

So that's how it is huh!

We continued our conversation about our way of life , about his and my view of everything differs , about how I always live in the moment without care of about the future and how he counter that argument by saying something cool like...

"thinking something as impossible or unattainable is not an excuse to yearn for it"-he said which really filled my eyes of wonder about how does he act on his inner circle if he converse with , a stranger , this way.

For me , having a conversation with him is like being in the middle of the ocean.Deep , yet not that drowning , almost comfortable , its just that there is still something beyond its depths that is hiding . I wanted to get close to it . To be here , in this moment , for a little while longer and longer , and longer.unfortunately our moment got interrupted when his friends showed up.That same guy and girl from yesterday.I felt out of place again all of a sudden so I gathered my stuff , bid them goodbye and then taking my leave.

Looking at them from a distance make me think if I could be a part of that circle.Is there any space for me there?its probably impossible...since probably , that place has years of foundation to it , its impossible for me to get there.Then his words echoed to my head

"thinking something as impossible or unattainable is not an excuse to yearn for it"

When I heard his guy friend told him that he will be going home alone today. I have seen my chance,and I wont let it go to waste.

I was strolling along the second floor of the main entrance building when a third year student nervously approached me.

"good afternoon"-she greeted

She is from the science department , I presume.I admired her courage for approaching me is somewhat no an easy feat , especially for the science department students , because of those people who always see as some higher being who lives in a plane of existence above the mortal realm , but I am actually more down to earth than an average person.

"if you like you can come here!"-she said handing me a flier

"thanks"- I said as I received it , after giving me that , she dashed away. I watched her run until she vanished from the corner.Really shy do people brand others as someone higher or lower than them.

I look at the paper she gave me . It's a flyer for an environmental retreat. "Reconnecting to nature" is the theme of it.I feel like I will be able to have a lot of fun here if I go...if I can go. I move towards the window to breathe some air , from there I can see students going home already .They all have their company , none of then is alone , except that hooded guy who just pass the gate. That hood seemed familiar to me. Oh ..right , it's the hood of that guy from the library.

Wait a second isn't his friends with him?A moment later I remembered hearing form his guy friend at the library earlier that he will be going home alone today...Then if that how it is , isn't that mean I can talk to him again!?

So I dashed from the 2nd floor to the gates to catch up with him.When I have arrived there , he was already gone and I don't know which way did he just go.The excite I get from seeing him alone filled my body and it is still trembling. The trembling is a mixture of my excitement and fear. Fear is from the fact that I might have lost him.

At times like his I always let my instincts decide.So I closed my eyes a bit , even if there are a lot of people at the entrance staring at me . A second late , my legs move so i surrendered my both to where it is moving to , which is to the left. I picked up a pace and at the corner I saw him , just before he turned left again.

Now that I know where he is going , I stopped for a second so I can be in his blind spot , for if he noticed me following him.he might run like hell and I might lose him again.

He continued on that path in almost ten minutes until he made an obviously evasive turn to where the crow is thick.He picked up his walking pace as well and made a seemingly random stops at different shops. He seems to be popular around here , especially for ladies...like granny old ladies.

Now the crowd is getting thinner, ,all of a sudden he turned around and almost at the same time , I hid behind a telephone post.Crap does he already figured out that I am following him.

I just stood there un-moving for a moment , then I heard running footsteps . So I looked from behind the telephone post and saw him already vanished around the next corner .When I go there , I looked sideways from right to left and saw him staring at me , leaned against the wall.

Though I am out of breathe , I rushed towards him , put both hands on his shoulder and said.

"that's rude you know"-I said

He asked me what is rude and I answered leaving leaving without finishing what we have started a while back at the library...the debate. He may have bombarded me with that awesome statement of yearning for something no matter how impossible it is , but I haven't lose and I haven't admitted defeat yet.

So I explained to him that , but in the middle of my explanation , a drop of water fell unto my forehead for I am looking up since he is way taller than me.Its a rain drop .Its cold , very cold , yet for some reason I cant help but to just look up and catch every drop of them with my face. To be honest , I think I don't have much or any experience being showered with this heavenly water.Because for as long as I remember , whenever it is raining , the doors in that house is always locked .So I was contented just look at those kids who play outside the rain. I envied them , as I watched the on my window , hands pressed on it cold glass. That why I know even if I haven't touch a raindrop that it is cold yet in the vicinity of those kids playing in it , I felt warm joy.

Then he brought out his umbrella and the raindrops stopped coming.He move a little closer to where I am , to cover me from the sudden downpour.Well , he seems more gentlemanly than he looks.

"thank you"- I said , he just nodded a bit in response.

"its getting dark now , and its raining , you should probably call you parents or someone to come pick you up."- he said while looking around the darkening street and pointed towards the rain shed about 20 meters away. I don't want to go back to that house tonight. So when we have arrived at the shed ...

"actually I ditched my folks to get here"- I lied.

"they are probably furious by now and frantically searching for me so calling them is probably not a good idea"-I said which possibly true.

"besides my phone is dead"- another lie , I just actually removed the battery.

He seems to be thinking about something again.Maybe he is sizing the situation to decide whether to leave me here and wait for rescue or take me to his home tonight. I prefer the second option so I will just initiate.

"hey...is your house close?"- asked

"yes"-he answered

"which way?"-I asked again. He hesitated to answer but eventually gave in .

"straight ahead to the east , it's a 4 floor building , my unit is on the 3rd floor"-he answered and as soon as he did I grabbed his hands and started running to that direction despite the cold pouring rain

We ran hand in hand in that cold rainy night.Doing this is my first time in like forever is really exciting for me.And I cant help but to just smile as we dashed on the streets. His hands is as cold as the rain but I don't mind holding it tight for I know that when we arrive to our destination , I will be able to know more about him.

Since I have taken the lead , we run a little slower so when have arrive at his apartment we are dripping wet. I sneezed a couple of times as we entered his unit.He offered me to take a bath , maybe to prevent me from catching a cold. It will be nice , however I don't have a change of clothes. Hold it , maybe he will lent me borrow some of his.

"I wanted to but I don't have a change of clothes"-I said

"ohhh.! I can lend you mine ...if you want"-he said . just what I have thought , I grinned as soon as he said that , which made him looked anxious for a second.

I head towards the bathroom , take of my wet clothes and put them in the empty washing machine beside the sink near the shower.I closed the cloth cover of the shower and turned it on . Surprisingly , its not that cold even though it has no meter for temperature.Its warm and nice .A few minutes late I heard him entered and said

"change of clothes here"-he said

Through the cloth cover , I saw him stood there for a couple of second looking towards me .That is quite bold for a reserve guy like him. After the shower , I put on his clothes which is too big for me. Its really loose but I like the feeling of it.Besides , it smells like him too.

I got excited by the thought of being on a stranger's house so I cant help it but to survey it and burn this image into my brain.

He is putting plate on a mini table in the middle of the room.Probably for our dinner. Nothing really stands out in his living room , or something that emits "his person" here. Or maybe this room , this place being ordinary is the reflection of his true self.

"its quite ordinary isn't it?"-he said which made me look his way as I walk around the sofa.

"I bet it is looks boring for you "- he continued.

"not quite "- I said after I have walked around the sofa.I saw him sitting of the floor so I did too.he passed me a share of the meal then started to dig in.

He apologized for not serving me a fancy dish according to him. But I said I don't mind and thanked him for the food.

We are engage in a quite reasonable conversation about his and my "fancy and ordinary things" , as we eat.,Having this meal time conversation is another first hand experience for me.Because for as long as I can remember , during dinner time in that house , we only eat , conversation is after that.And those conversation will mostly about tomorrow.

I change the topic by asking if he is an introvert .he nodded while chewing his food,I also asked him if this house is his sanctuary but he did not responded.Seems like he is thinking something again. A moment with no answer so I conclude that his silence means yes.I looked around with my eyes then down and said to myself

"same as me huh" - i said

Which he seemed to hear and asked if I said something but I brushed it off to stay out of that topic.

The rain is almost over so he told me to contact some people on that house again to come pick me up.And here I thought I am having a good time by forgetting the people of that house , then you just reminded me of them. Do you really want me to hate you that much .But saying a somewhat sincere statement like that make me like you more. These are the thoughts that runs through my mind which is too embarrassing in this moment to say so I just keep them in.

"NOT HAPPENING" – I said almost angrily , and made a pouting face.

"let me stay the night "- I blurted out

"HUH , Why is That?"- he asked surprised

"well I don't want to got o that house"- I answered

"why?"- he asked again

This guy is so persistent and inquisitive , which is maybe his good points but not in this situation , at least for me.So I glared at him which made him look away

"I don't want to talk about it."- I said... pouting.

He quickly finished his food and told me that if I want to ask someone a favor like staying the night on that someone's house , at least I need to tell that someone my circumstances. It's a very valid and powerful argument so I was forced to tell him my circumstances.Well it is just a hint of what is going on with me and my parents in that house , in which he was quite satisfied and did not pry any further.

To be honest I thought that he will ask tons of follow up question , but I guess he is a type of guy who leave people alone with their own personal problems.

"so I can stay the night ?"-I asked again which seemed to surprise him , possibly he thought that he have completely brushed off the topic , what a sheltered guy.

"huh...you are serious with that... I thought that was just a joke?"- he said

"dead serious"-I answered seriously , eyes locked unto his letting out all the assertiveness I have at this one moment.He did not answer and just grabbed the dishes , stood up to put those at the sink.

He is quite taking some time and I am quite getting bored being alone here with that unanswered query so I entered the room which will satisfy my curiosity about him...his room.i Swiftly entered his room after checking that he will still take some time washing the dishes. Once in , I dived and shoved my hands under his bed. Boys usually hide their precious treasures under their beds or so I have heard , it will be a random object but well , its better than nothing. So I shoved my hands and grabbed something small and rectangular and a bit thick and quickly exited the room.The door is originally open so I left it that way and to add my innocent act I asked this after he got back.

"isn't this you kind of thing?"-I asked

"what is?"- he asked in return , confusedly

"I mean a senior student , being asked by her popular , lovely , smart underclassman to stay the night together"-I said. A bit bragging actually for I haven't patronized myself , well he took another of my first.

"that is just on anime"-he answered

"not all guys like those kind of stuff"he continued, a bit embarrassed.

"so then this is the stuff that you like?" -I said bringing out the deck of cards which I have swiped under hi bed.

"where did you get that"- he asked a bit angry

"you know where"-I answered as I shuffle the deck cards as professional as I can manage which is still looks like the work of an amateur according to his expression.

He asked what is the game , I told him it's a game of pure chance , black jack.Which made him lose more of his motivation.Does he think he can win an easy win against me . I may not look like it but I know a lot of this stuff since my parents also owns a casino .

When I told him the mechanics of the game about telling secrets per win , he regained his motivation or it became even stronger , but not really as strong as mine , to it is still look passive.Seems like he doesn't want other people to know some of his secret . Well I guess that goes for every person.

So we started the game . For the most part I am winning . Or should I say that I am really winning for have a trick up my sleeve. But seeing him losing like this make me feel sorry for him. Still this is a game I cannot loose.

On the final round , after giving 2 cards for each of us he said stand without looking at the cards.Did he gave up.Well it's a win for me so I declared

"the match is over huh"-I said

"yes...its over" he said as he flipped his cards 21 , an ace and a jack.

I was surprised , that trick is supposed to be a sure win for me but how did he won that easily

"why...how did I loose?"-she whispered

"I thought black jack is a game of chance... I guess I was just a bit lucky"I said

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