Chapter 6:
Checkered Canvas
Now that I'm thinking about it , I think a am forgetting something. Something that I should have acquired from that chess match last night. Well , screw it , it will eventually comeback to me when my mind is fully relaxed. I ate my breakfast and finished that mug of milk and dump the dishes on the sink.. I hurried to the bathroom and took a shower. After that, I entered my room , towel wrapped , hair still dripping .I put my clothes on , pat my hair dry with the towel and let it sit there as I put on my undergarment , pants and shoes.
Well it is a typical day so I am just wearing black pants , white shirt , checked long sleeve with a pair of navy blue sneakers . I grab my handmade hooded backpack which is a gift from Althea for our high school graduation. The hood is black like the strap , and the back part of the bag.The front is a night sky hue.Bluish , violet and sprinkles of white and a touch of black. She really knows that I like the night sky light better than the city lights.
Since I am not a jerk , I did gave her a present as well.it is a braided chord charm with a mini dream catcher pendant in it . I exited my apartment and started my 30 minute journey to my school.I plug in my earbuds and walk at a moderate pace as I run through my head , the whole plan for the day
When I arrive at the university , I felt like almost all of the student are glancing at me for a second before looking away. Well I do not think it is a bad thing but , it felt like being examined thoroughly , so I put my hood on and walk just a little bit faster.At the entrance there is that 3rd year again who is distributing fliers for an environmental retreat , on the right wing some other 3rd year is reading a book, probably reviewing something.On the left wing is the usual costumer , the friends of the empress minus her.
As I walk I felt the subtle glances becoming long stares at my back.As if someone will back stab me literally at any given moment. I looked over my shoulders on both sides , then I realized that most of these guys are from the arts department , based on the tubes that they are holding.
Crap , what did I do?Think... what did you do yesterday that has something to do with the arts department?I remember , yesterday seems a normal school day till midday when the empress made a commotion. I went to the library,after reading for a few minutes I saw the empress staring at me intently. Also she examined my face closely... very closely.
A second later Althea's words echoed in my head about the empress.That I should not get involved with her . For her family controls the school , her fiancé just transferred in etc.
A moment after that , I felt like my world just fell apart and I am now standing on a knife's edge. Where no strategy will guarantee survival let alone victory.My mind is blacking out and being burned out by the train of thoughts that is running in my head now which always lead to my demise. I am falling into the depths of negativity until that 3rd year snapped me out to reality as she handed me the flier for that environmental retreat .thanks to that I just realized that the piercing stare vanished a long time ago . I sighed in relief as I accepted the flier. Which she gave with a smile.
"you seems to be having some trouble....here you go"-she said as she handed me the flier
"ohh thanks"-I replied as I passively receive it .
That gratitude is for two things , first is for pulling me from that mind mine that i am having and second is for this flier...
Hmmn , i think this is something that i need to be doing right now . A nature retreat huh...This third year , she must be one of the few students of ecology....Short black hair , plain clothing without accessory , a rucksack bulked up with papers , books i presumed . Organizing a retreat at her year is quite a bold move for these guys should be busy doing their research proposals
"aren't you should be busy for your research and not doing this kind of stuff"-i asked
she seem to be a bit shocked by it , does she think i am not from the same department as she is
"how do you know i have a research to prepare?"-she asked
a question for a question , what a pain , i showed her my ID and then she realized that not only that we are on the same department but i am her senior as well
"sorry for being so somewhat overly familiar earlier"-she apologized which i just chuckled on for she seems to think that i am offended by it
"truth is this retreat is part of my research"-she continued
"how?"i asked
"there is a forest park nearby...do you know it"-she asked
Now tat i think about it , there is once a natural park which is now abandoned and dirtied with trash , but is once popular for its firefly community
I nodded as a reply
"i want to restore it...and take a look at it again..."-she said as she lowered her head , she seemed embarrassed
Well this is taking too long so i gestured goodbye and promised to take a couple of people with me which she is seems to be delighted about.
.
.
.
After all the usual schedule of the day I head to the library to kill time again.I entered the library , and s usual greeted the student assistants who is a first year in our department with a nod and smile. I silent greeting that I always do. They did the same as a sign of respect I guess,. Respect is a big deal for us in the science department , especially to the higher years , which is currently I am a part of. As oppose to the "Admiration " given to the seniors of the arts department .
I walk along the hallway made up of cabinets of books brushing my fingers against the books until I reached my destination.As I approached it , I can hear a silent voice utter a name , "QUENTINE". I paused for a moment and remembered that that is is the name of the male protagonist of the book that I left behind yesterday. So someone else is reading it , too bad for me , so I did not get in here first this time. Well I guess ill just have to pick another literature then.
Out of curiosity , I took a peek just to see who stole my book. Then I saw her long braided hair , blonde hair. Sitting comfortably on a chair at the long table where I always am . Crossed leg both hands are holding the book while a quarter of her arms is resting on the table.She is so still and focused , only the thumbs are moving , as she flips the book page after page.
Her stature looks familiar to me , so I look a her more intently to figure out who the hell she is . a few seconds later she look straight up , like deer after sensing the presence of a hunter. And she immediately look in my way at the same time I hid behind the shelf as well. On a second thought , I asked myself "why the hell am I hiding?" so tried to peek again and there she is again, right in front me , in close proximity like yesterday. Crap I did not notice that it was the empress , because of that braided hair. I move back surprised as she gracefully straighten up her posture from a slouching one.
I stood there dumbfounded as she put both of her hands behind her , turned her body slightly sideways made a half smile and greeted me ,
"hey there we meet again , my precious subject"she said
I thought WTF , precious subject...? Whats that suppose to mean.and after she said those mad scientist like words she smiles a full smile.Eyes closed , teeth on , wrinkles on both side of the eye tiny dimples on her cheeks .The kind of smile so bright and warm emanating great confidence that will surely make normal guys fall. Its getting awkwardly silent , until I noticed the book on the table . She noticed me looking at it then she looked at it too then looked back at me again and said...
"Oh I apologize , I read it first , if you like ...you can have it."she said
HHHMMN...that phrase , for me it has an additional condition behind the question "if you like you can have it , like this one "in return would you do me a favor being my precious subject" so I just stood there silent with a lot of suspicion.
A moment after that she returned to her sit and continue to read it . Didn't she want to give me that book a few moments ago. I felt like I am an idiot , too self conscious all of a sudden , so I walk in front of the bookshelf on her left to pick a book to read as well.While picking I could feel her intense stare at my back . the stare that is similar to that one yesterday.I looked over my shoulder and noticed her quick look away.I walk pass behind her to the edge of the long table to sit at the furthest chair away from her after I picked a book.
I sat crossed leg , left elbow resting on the table , my forehead leaning on my left palms while my right hand is my book holder and page turner. I read silently , more quite than usual to for a psychological shout out that would mean , "I AM BUSY DONT APPROACH ME!" But every now and then she is glancing or even staring at me.She kept doing that for several minute , it doesn't bother me much at the beginning , however she is persistently doing it so even people like me who don't care about other people outside our inner circle will eventually reach its limits . I put down my left hand to ask if she needs something but before I could say a word she started to ask me a question.
"hey ... this book is made into a film right?" she asked
"yeah , I guess so "- I answered , after turning page on the book that I am reading. Is that what she wants , to tell me that the film is better than the book. , is she like one of those people who criticize works of other people which based on the work of another. True that they have the same story but , because they are from different media , I think people should look at both in a completely different way. Come think of it , this girl is revered as a genius , so I guess my common sense wont work on her huh. Because if my assumptions are true then she belong to another dimension that is outside of this plane of existence.
"then why are you still reading it yesterday?"-she asked again which pulled me back to reality for I was beginning to dive deep into the abyss of "what ifs "again . Over thinking is a kind of natural occurrence to me.Wait if she knows about the ,movies , why is she still reading it.This girl is clearly out of this world so I need to say something "smart ass" or else she wont be able to comprehend it
"isn't that goes for you as well?"I replied her question with another question that had just popped in my mind.Its like a reflection shield magic that throws back to the caster the spell he or she cast to the bearer of the shield. How was that sounds to you miss empress.
"well I want to compare both of the media so I am reading it since I have already watched it ."she answered honestly.
My phrase has no effect .that is impossible , that should be able to provoke her to play in my game but---
"you were thinking that you said something smart ass that should have provoked me?"she said , cutting my thought process.What the hell is she able to read my mind---
"now you are thinking if I can read your mind?"- she said.
Now that does it , she is an ESPer .I leaned away from her slightly little surprised for that train of conversation , but on a second thought , I have realized it. So I breathe out in relief and assume my reading position from before . I flip the book again , she is quite for a second.probably waiting for an answer.
"so you know it huh?"I asked her while still looking at the book.I heard a silent chuckle from her ,. A moment of silence seized the room.Seems like she is preparing for an all out assault.
"hey"-she started
I look on her way and she did the same for me.
"I have a feeling that you are like Quentine in this story"-she announced
I looked away to face the window to my left and asked
"why is that"-I asked then look at her with a taunting stare. Head tilted , eyes focused on her.
"no reasons , its just my gut telling me that you are the complete opposite of me"s-she answered
I look to the book that I am reading again and asked why am I her complete opposite.
"because you seemed structured , everything you do, you follow a certain plan or go with the path of least resistance or the safest way."-she said
What the hell is this , it's a pinpoint answer.are you kidding me , she might really a psychic. I sighed in a bit of disappointment which made her a little doubtful on her assessment o of me.
"am I wrong?"-she asked
"not exactly...its just...I kinda feel sorry for myself for I have that somewhat very low impression from the lower years"-I answered
Well I guess since I am always in the sidelines of the front act maybe its true that people think little of me if one in a 1 in a million chance that people will take interest in observing and average guy like me.
"lower years?"-she asked
"I am actually in my final year now , I am a senior, you are a second year right?"-I said
"oh...so you have been doing this for 4 year!"?-she asked again
"doing what?"I asked
"Living in the sideline"-she answered
"probably , well I kind of like living in this sidelines anyways so no worries , I guess"- I answered
She put down her book , face me completely and asked
" do you really think you can call that living?"- she asked with a very serious face.I felt her intense stare so I was forced to look at her as well.I was about to answer her question but she shot me down by presenting another premise.
"You are just living as a mob character in you own life story , trying to play safe all the time , how do you call that living at all?"-she said
I was a bit overwhelmed about how much this girl can see through me who is clearly a complete stranger.She talks to me , says things about me as if she had known me from the start. I just look at her dumbfounded , trying to collect my thoughts to reply on her words properly so I wont mess this up.
"see , even now you are playing safe by eliminating lame answers"-she said out of the blue which really caught me by surprise.
Crap how much able is this girl to turn all my self belief upside down. I am the one who observes or examine and I do that better than anyone else but now I felt like I am inside a laboratory and this girl is completely observing me trying to figure out what I am made of , or how do my functions work , seriously , right now I am the being examined.
She get back on her book after a dead silent moment of me not answering. I felt like she lost her interest but her words really cut through my being so I cant just let it go.I face the book that I am reading and I glanced at the words "survival" "genius "and "talentless". Then I found my answer
"I think "surviving" is the only way to live for a "talentless" person like me in this world full of "geniuses"."-I said confidently.
She slapped the book close loudly and look straight at me again.
"genius...that's your excuse?"-she asked
I was surprised again because of the loud noise on that dead silent library as I face her as well. Then I saw her furious eyes , and realized that she is one of those .Born with great potential, branded as a genius , caged in her field , a prisoner of their own overwhelming strength.I kinda feel bad about my reply now.A reply which I thought the safest one to say so I lowered my head a bit and apologized.
"uhhmn...sorry about that...I shouldn't have brought that word...I think I kind of know the reason behind that anger"- I said which surprised her and made her leaned back a bit.
"what do you mean by that"-she asked
"you are called the empress from the arts department for a reason right?"-I asked as well. Her lips tightened, eyebrows moved closer to each other , she is kinda pissed.
"no ... I don't mean to piss you up but , being called something like that , one should either have a god-like talent or born in a very powerful family...in your case ...its both , am I right ?"-I asked again which calmed her down a bit I guess.For her shoulders loosen up a bit , and her eyebrows become apart eyes grew big , face starting to blush .Wait a second , what is going on , is she embarrassed or something?
"it's the first time"-she announced
"hmmmn?"-I am confused . she breathe in and out deeply to completely calm herself and flashed that bright smile again with her eyes closed and head slightly tilted to the side.
"you are the first to ask that"-she said.
Whats that supposed to mean –I thought
"ask what"-I asked confusedly
"that question...what else could it be"- she answered.
"so why does that question makes you seem happy?'- I asked again
"well you see , most guys will ask me out right away when I talk to them and none of those guys asked if I have a talent , or born in a powerful family."-she answered.
I am at lost ...what is this girl talking about? Is she bragging about something ?...or is she trying to make a point?
"no one asks about those things because they already know . and they know because those people are just "paper people"."-she said showing me the front page of the book that she is reading.now that I think of it , I am starting to get it.
"you are the first to not know who am I"- she said
I grinned for a second and said
"of course I know who you are...I just called you empress remember?"- I said which surprised her
"if you know ...why do you ask that?-she said
"I just want to confirm something"- I answered
"that is...?"- she inquired
I look at her again and answered
"if you answer about that talent then I can assume that you value yourself more than anything"I begun to answer which piqued her interest making her to lean back to ht e backrest of her seat . I faced her completely and continued.
"if you answer about your family then I can assume that you value your family more than anything else , even yourself"-I continued
I think she is starting to get pissed off again so I hurried my explanation.
"answering both is my style , playing safe , however answering none means you have both but it also means that you are a caged creature locked away from the world yearning to be free all your life"- I finished
I witnessed her expression change form starting to get pissed into like a child-like wonder. The expression an innocent child makes when he or she saw an elephant for the first time , both surprised and excited.
"the forth option means you hate your talent because it isolate you from real people and you are surrounded by a lot of fake individuals who want to kiss the butt of your family."-I continued after I looked away for even for me , I think that is a little harsh.
"since you did not answer I take that you chose that fourth option"-I finished as I look at her again in her mesmerized look.
"amazing"-she said
"what?"-I asked
"you seemed to be a passive individual so I did not know that you can read through that much"-she said.I sighed , so the lower years really have a low opinion on me huh.
"well you are not the only one who can use profiling and cold reading"-I said.
"it's a skill that I have at least 2 years of head start form you so its no surprise that I can use those better than you can"- I said as I look at the time. Seems like we have been talking for about an hour now .then I guess I can call it a day ...or so I thought but she then presented another premise which I was compelled to discuss.
"you are all about survival...so do you think school is fun?"-she said when I was just about to stand gather my stuff and go but I force myself to sit and answer.
"is it supposed to be fun?"-I asked
"well it should be ...I think"she answered unconvincingly
"you are talking about elementary and high school level education and not collegiate level one"- I said.
"well I guess so..."-she answered
"its different here , average people like me needs to burn our eyebrows so we can have a nice high paying job and a happy life"-I said.
"you think that is how life is?"-she asked
"no...I don't...and I don't care if I am not living now ....i only care about surviving this , so I will be able to live..."truly live"... later on"-I answered.
"hmmn , so that how you view life...you are so naive"she said
"why is that?'-I asked
"studying like hell , graduating , getting a job , then becoming happy...that is too optimistic"- she answered. I just kept silent
"you see life has its ups and down , its not a straight line , you don't know what the future hold no matter how much you think about it and tomorrow is just the result of what you did today so if you kill yourself studying today , you wont be able to live a happy life tomorrow."-she continued
Damn she did hit me a critical hit don't have any words to throw at her , think...think...think wait a minute ...why do I need to answer her question anyway... this girl is a total stranger to me ... I can just leave here and that wont be an issue.So why do I have to converse to this girl who have a completely different view of life and everything else from me.
I looked at her , to this girl who is my polar opposite gender bent self , she is still waiting for a response...and I remembered that she brought up a premise and I responded to it so I subconsciously accepted her challenge.Twice she did , so twice I did.Not once but twice she had driven me on a corner.However I think I have now an idea for a counter attack. So I sighed and face her again and said.
"so your point is to just live a carefree life now while you have a chance and deal with tomorrow's problem tomorrow."- I asked
"hmmn...something between those lines I guess"-she answered.
"hmmpf...sadly not all people thinks that way , I am the prime example , and I think you can assume the at least a quarter of the seven billion living in this world should think the same way as me"- I said.She paused silently , waiting , after giving the look of someone who is still anticipating for something more.
"In that way of thinking , you wont truly be able to feel the bliss of knowing what random move each of us in this whole wide world make that will ripple and affect the most minute variable of life."-I said.she became confused , well I cant blame her since no normal human being , solely dedicated to aesthetic will be able to grasp logical reasoning devoid of aesthetics.i breathe in out deeply as she is still in her confused look.
"What I mean is ...thinking something is impossible or unattainable , is not an excuse to yearn for it , if you made that an excuse then that is your limit and you wont be able to get past that limit unless you turn you own belief upside down."- is aid
"wow !"-she said
I look at her and was surprised , the confused girl before just turned into an excited child. A child who had found another kid to play with in a wide playground.This girl is danger , just like my girl friend said , I should not get involved with her for she is my complete opposite and the typos of person I personally don't like. The type who will ask a lot of random question .her "self" a while ago is just a shell , the caged creature who have forgotten its basic instincts.Now she had just remembered those basic instincts , and is looked on her prey.Yes she is the empress, the lioness who reigns the arts department, and I am just a common sheep of the science department , cornered by a lioness ready to pounce.Crap it will take my lifetime supply of luck to get a miracle now , for that is my only way out of this tight situation. For a second I thought I was a goner , but miracles do happen at a very random events.
I heard people walking to our position , 2 of then and thankfully those two are Althea and Cain .Well I guess my debate with the empress is now over . They arrive and immediately got surprised for I am in the exact situation they don't want me to be.when they arrive I look at them , Cain made a flirtatious grin , while Althea gave me a disappointed look or frown.
The empress turn to look at them . An awkward moment is beginning to build due to our silence.Good thing Cain is quick to read this type of situation so he broke the ice before it even forms
"sorry bro , I guess you are going home alone today"-he said
His ice breaker did break the ice , however it also pierced my with its cold sharp edge.because what I thought as my ticket out of this mess turns out to be a dud.Now that I thought of it , braking the ice is not always a good idea.To my surprise , the empress gathered her things and take her leave after bidding us goodbye.She bowed respectfully in front of my friends , just like what they do in Japan then left.Well I guess my friend's presence is enough miracle to trigger that random event.Really this world is messily full of randomness.
I exit the school with no more problems.No sign of the empress , or those stares that I have experienced this morning.Now , I am going home alone , which kind of suck since it reminds me of my high school loner gig. Doesn't bother me much though but still , it sucks.so I plug in my earbuds , turn the music up and walk head down , hood on , slightly faster than usual to my house.
I really wish that that is the last encounter I will ever have with that girl , I felt like her overwhelmingly impulsive presence will kill me , and if I had analyzed it correct;y , what she had showed me at the library is just a fraction of it. A face that you show to a stranger , to hide something you don't want them to see. That mood swing she showed me ago is just the tip of the iceberg , and I don't want to find out how much that mood swing can swing her and I don't want to be the target of that .
When I was at the quarter of my way home , I noticed that someone is following me.But I brush it of thinking that its just a random guy who happens to this this way as well. However , as I walk to where the crowd gets thinner I still, notice that that someone is still on my tail. On every corner that I turn , he will too , every stop I make , he will too in about 10 meters away . I tried to increase my walking pace , so he did. Now I am halfway on my house ,he is still there and I cant shake him off no matter what I do so I decided to figure out who the fuck is this guy who is clearly stalking me .
I turned around quickly and look around and then I saw a blonde girl trying hard to hide herself behind a telephone post.Something is familiar with this girl.I am not very instinctive and I don't trust my gut feeling most of the time but right now my brain and my gut is shouting the same thing.
Blonde hair is the hair of the empress , so this girl could be her , so I abandoned all my thinking and followed my gut to run and take a turn to the left a t the corner. I hid behind the post which is at the corner of the wall .i heard running steps towards me . then she revealed herself as she ran pass the corner and look frantically to the right then to the left trying to search for something or someone , who is definitely me.
Crap , it really is the empress , I felt awkward trying to hide in a place like this .she is breathing heavily , so I revealed myself to ask her why is she following me./but before I could speak , she rushed towards me put both of her hands on my shoulders and said
"That is rude you know..."-she said
"what's rude?"- I asked
She still breathes heavily , seems that dash exhausted her , head down , clearly worn out.
"Why didn't you wait for me , our argument is still ongoing right ..?"-she answered after catching her breathe
"huh , you mean that argument at the library?"- I asked
"yes , of course...what else could it be "-she answered
What !? this girl still wants to continue that I thought by bidding us goodbye is the end of it but what is this now?
"you haven't won , I haven't lose so we need to keep going"-she said
Now I know. This girl , hates losing very much or having an undecided match , really the type of people whom I don't want to get involved it.What should I do its already getting late , and I don't want to be suspected as a bad guy trying to take a girl away .
All of a sudden a light downpour came out of nowhere . of course , it will rain , it was mention on the news that I watched last night . now its getting stronger so I took out my umbrella.I almost forgot about the empress so I look at her to offer a share of my umbrella but what i saw is something different.
That innocent child again.Face and palm up , feeling every rain drop . She seems happy , is this the first time she is out in the rain.Really this girl is a puzzle , one moment she is a debate freak , then another she is a child fill of wander about this world. I move close to her to share my umbrella , she is still looking up , as if counting every rain drop that drops on my umbrella which is sheltering both of us now.
"thanks"-she said , I just responded with a slight nod
"its getting dark now , and its raining , you should probably call you parents or someone to pick you up and take you home"- I said as I point towards the shed just about 20 meters way.
"actually I ditched my parents to get here"- she said after we have arrived at the shed
"they are probably furious and frantically searching for me right now so I don't think calling them is a good idea , and besides my phone is dead."- she continued as she showed me her dead battery phone.
My apartment is close now , and I think I can make it without getting too wet if I run so should I give her my umbrella and take a run ?I don't thinks that is a good idea , because I will be leaving a girl alone in the night , that is just unmanly. I was in the middle of arguing with myself to decide what to do when she interrupted me.
"hey ...is you house close?" – she asked
"yes"- I answered without thinking , which made her excited by giving me that bright confident smile again , which gave me a bad feeling.
"which way ?" she asked again.Why is this girl so inquisitive in random time . Well I don't have any reason to both answer or not answer it but her eyes , her smile , her aura is swallowing all my senses like a black hole that draws me in.
"straight ahead to the east , it's a 4 floor building , my unit is on the 3rd floor"
as soon as I said that she grabbed my hand and started running to the direction I just said.
We run in a cold rainy night. I don't want to admit it but doing something like this , without playing safe , is not so bad. Though it is freezing as we dashed in the streets , her hand is so warm and comforting. The rain bathed us with its cold downpour , the wind blew her hair flowing like the waves of the sea , I though it's a common knowledge to associate the rainy nights with sentimentality , solidarity , and loneliness in general , her bright confident smile as we run , her warm comforting hands , I cant help it but to think that she is like the sun . A promise of a bright new day once we get pass this dark cold night . The feeling of warmth and comfort , the feeling that i never had , now I somehow get a hold of...Its a nice feeling.
She run much slower than I expected so we arrived at my apartment dripping wet.She sneezed a couple of times as we entered my unit n, she seems to be catching a cold so I offered her to take a warm bath
"I wanted to but I don't have any change of clothes"-she said
"oh... I can lend you some if you want"-I said
She smiled like an evil villain whose game plan is being enacted .I felt anxious for a second .She headed towards the bathroom and I to my room , I take out my jogging pants and a t shirt .
"change of clothes here"- I said as I place them by the sink in front of the shower.The thin cloth clover of my shower plus the light above it , made a silhouette of her body , come think of it she is the first girl whom I lent my shower to.I am still cold and wet so I headed back to my room before I get some wild images on my head and get change.
After getting change I head to the kitchen and opened the fridge.Good , there is still some pre-cooked meal here.I took out 2 of them and reheated it.I am hungry but I fell bad of eating by myself so I guess I'll just have to invite her for dinner as well.
She walked out of the shower into the living room as I am currently putting the plates on the table. As expected , although my body is not large , my clothes are still big for her.her wet unruly hair , over sized clothing , and her eyes which is surveying my living room , like a child's first entry into a mirror house really stunned me for a second , but I manage to get a grip of myself despite the presence of a girl revered as a goddess wearing my clothes , just got out of my shower and now surveying my room.
"its quite ordinary isn't it?"-I uttered which made her look to my way.
"I bet it look boring for you."-I continued as she walk around the sofa
"not quite"-she answered after she had walk around the sofa and reached the front of the table.
I am sitting on the floor so she did too.I think this girl is quite good at reading situations as well for she did not try to sit on the sofa.I passed unto her , her share of the food and I started to dig in.
"sorry , I don't have something fancy to offer"- I said apologetically
"its okay , actually thanks for the food"-she said and started digging in as well.
"your fancy is my ordinary and its is a bit too aggressive so I think I like your ordinary for some reasons."she continued , her eyes are still wandering around
"yeah right"-I replied
"I mean , your ordinary is not actually boring , its more like , gentle , I guess."-she said nodding , as if agreeing to an unseen fellow.
Wait does this girl can see ghost?are there ghost in my apartment or something ?She looked at me , I felt chill ran down my spine , like I was being thoroughly analyzed again both inside and outside.
"you are an introvert...am I right?"-she asked, I nodded in reply while chewing my food.
"so this is your sanctuary huh?"she continued on which I did not replied for I am trying to figure out what does she wants to know,,what is her objective for interacting with me , what's her next move and what's her gain in all of this.
"Almost same as me huh?"-she silently said , almost a whisper. I gave her an inquiring look and she just brush it off as if she haven't said that last sentence. I look at the window , and saw the rain is about to end.
"the rain is almost over , I think you should call you parents to come and pick you up"- is aid while still looking at the window.
"not gonna happen"-she said a bit angrily.
I looked at her out of curiosity and saw her pouting like a kid. So every family has their own problems huh?Even those of the elite class.Its getting awkward talking to almost just myself so I tried to be quite but...
"let me stay the night"-she blurted out all of a sudden
"huh! Why is that?"-I asked after I swallowed my food.
"well I don't want to go to that house"- she answered looking away still pouting a little.
"why?"-I asked again , she looked at me with a sharp cold stare.
"I don't want to talk about it"she said and looked away again.
What a brat.I quickly finished ,my food , rest my elbow on the table , rest my left cheek on my left hand and look at her .
"You know ... if you want to ask a stranger a favor...you need to at least need to tell them your circumstances."-I said which I think is a bit harsh but I am just being candid her.She put down her plate , look down , seems like she is repenting
"I don't want to go back to that house ...its hard to breathe in there"-she said
"hhhhmmmmmn....pressure huh."-I whispered
So I guess this wild and free spirited girl on the outside is more bound , caged and dictated than me in the inside.I am not going to pry anymore , I will just let her family problems be hers to solve , I am just a stranger anyway.
"so that's it ... you're not going to ask any follow up questions"-she asked a bit worried.
"yeah...I'm good, I not going to pry any further"-I answered which made her sighed in relief.
"so I can stay for the night?"-she asked again , the question which I thought I already brushed off.
"huh...you are serious with that?i thought that was just a joke"-I said shocked.
"I am dead serious"- she answered , eyes locked into mine without a hint of doubt , like an arrow travelling at full speed right to the bull's eye.
Yesterday I got involved with the empress , today I had reaped that by those glares this morning , despite my friend's warning to not get involved with her , she is now at my apartment , asking me if she could stay for the night.My head hurts , we had just finished the meal so I grab my plate and her , stood up to put those on the sink without giving her an answer.
"isn't this you kind of thing ?"she asked after I got back
"what is?"I asked in return , for having no idea what is she talking about.
"I mean a senior student , being asked by her popular , lovely , smart underclassman to stay the night together"she said.
Wait , that only exist on anime.
"that is just on anime"-I answered
"not all guys like those kind of stuff"I continued , now I am starting to think that this girl have a some loose screws.
"so then this is the stuff that you like?"-she said bringing out my deck of cards which should be under my bed beneath my bedroom.
"where did you get that"- I asked a bit angry
"you know where"-she answered .I sighed and gestured
"okay lets play."-she said then shuffled it like an amateur trying to look like a pro.,
"so...what's the game?"-I asked
"a game of pure chance ...black jack'-she answered confidently . I lost my hype...black jack???
"I will be the dealer , you will be the player...however instead of chips we will bet our secrets"she said which caught my attention.
"each round we bet one secret but those secrets will only be revealed at the end of the game '- she continued . Hmmn this game seems a bit interesting.
"winner per round will have a point which is one secret- sh continue
"so ... wanna play?"-she asked almost taunting.
We started playing even though I only have half motivation because it is black jack so it is ion the bag for me and I don't care about other people's secret.I only care about mine , remaining as it is.
Each round all of my bets are getting seized , she really has an impressive luck.Since black jack is one of those casino games where the players has the advantage , because the dealer has to draw another card whenever she's below 17 so she has a high chance of getting busted but it hasn't happen to her yet .
The final round came and I bet all my remaining points .I could see in her eyes that she is really confident that she can win.And I think she is thinking that she has already won. She draw cards with her confident smile , I just yawned and said
"stand"-I said without even looking at my cards.She seems surprised but the smile did not falter so I think she though that I have already gave up.Like hell I will.She got about 10 points I bet 4 , with natural black jack rule , you can get back 2.5 x of your bet so if I win this round I win the match.
"so that match is over "she said as she flipped her cards , 20.
"yeah , the match is over "- said as I flip mine , an ace and a jack.now she is startled , and a bit teary.
"I win ...so I guess you have to tell me about 10 secrets of yours huh."-I said
"why...how did I loose?"-she whispered
"I thought black jack is a game of chance... I guess I was just a bit lucky"I said
.
.
.
After that game , we decide to call it a night and sleep. I let her sleep on my bed and I am on the couch.I am not a big fan of chivalry but I think it is the best choice in this situation .My friend's words echoed in my head again , saying now to get involved with her , however I think I like interacting with her because she is a real puzzle. A complicated variable that had piqued my interest as a programmer. Opposite polarity really attracts each other .
She is the optimist , who thinks the world will be alright and that tomorrow will, guarantee a new hope.I am the pessimist on the other hand , who sees all the possible failure routes and go around it . Living for me is to survive all the challenges life throws at me . bare minimum in terms of socializing with others.People would say I don't live my life to the fullest , I say I am living my life and enjoying it , they are just too swayed by the masses to see my way of life as not living at all , and I cant blame them because they have their own standards of living , and I am living mine with my own. And for the first time in about 8 years someone has take interest in my boring life and that really makes me a little excited about what randomness this world will throw a t me next.
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