Panic Video Script

That was the nicest conversation she had with someone, a robot, but someone, in weeks. His hand dripped with shit, of course, but that didn’t mean that he was terrible as a person. The magic was gone.

A white van appeared out of nowhere and sent the poor robot flying. HoneyCakes44—Anna, didn’t dare to look away. She tried to laugh. Maybe it was a whole skit. Man, her fans must be getting wilder by the day. She couldn’t laugh.

The van’s engine died, and its door slid open. Her eyes gleamed purple. Anna swallowed. Her eyes widened. Her body trembled. It was a tall bald man with glossy dark purplish skin. A human clad in a lavender-colored cloak with tendrils of white like roots twisting down its hem.

“HoneyCakes… No,” the bald man stepped out of the van. “Anna. The Purple King commands you to join our side.”

She covered her eyes and turned away to run. It’s just that her knees ceased to exist and turned her lower half into jelly. She fell. Her bones cracked even though they shouldn't. She closed her eyes to shut everything out. Veins were popping at the side of her face. If she’s not going to die, she’s going to turn.

“Seven, get it out. And Benny, stop screaming at the mic and get down here!”

A voice of an old man rushed to Anna’s ears. Chains of explosions ripped the concrete below. A torrent of heavy footsteps anchored a rain of blows that flowed towards the bald man, for a moment, sheer technique managed to overpower raw strength. Her heart rushed with hope. Courage killed the blur in her eyes. It was a robot dressed as a Chinese martial artist with shit dripping from his right hand. It was Seven.

With a single blow from the bald man, Seven would dodge and respond with three. A kick would be answered with five swift jabs. An attempt to grab the robot would result in a painful painful kick in the balls and roll of punches that dented his side to his chest, neck, and face.

But more people are bound to come. The whiplash was over. The bald man’s henchmen were about to join the fray, but another hooded boy with purple smoke wafting from his lips swooped in from the nearby building. He snapped his finger at the van. The people inside screamed that the door was stuck and its AC was making the people there too cold. Seven took the chance to pivot and bat the van away with his leg towards the next block.

“Good. You saved me all the fun.”

The bald man looked unhurt. He grinned and stepped towards Seven. The boy smiled and snapped his fingers again. Seven took his stance and waited. The bald man’s bare feet steeped on the wet smear of shit on the flor, and bits of it splattered at the bottom of his cloak.

“Fucking…”

Seven blurred and reappeared in front of the bald man. His metallic body creaked as he drove his foot to the ground, twisted his hips, and let his shit-stained fist loose and ram the man’s face like a truck sent by a drunk driver.

The bald man took it like a champ. “You got it in my fucking mouth.” He raised his right fist. It turned purple and doubled in size. He tanked a few more hits before driving the robot’s body to the ground with a blow so strong that it bounced him into the house across the street.

“Weak.” He raised his hand to wipe his face. He stopped and gagged.

“That’s my power right there, you butthole!” The boy screamed before falling to his knees. “Also, Joe, help.” He laughed helplessly. “I messed up the landing. I can’t get up.”

The bald man took off his cloak and turned it over to wipe his face. By then, someone tapped Anna’s shoulder from behind and shushed her. It was an old man sweating under a thick trenchcoat. He pointed the boy to the bald man and turned back to her.

“Can you run?”

Anna helplessly looked at her trembling legs. “I…”

“You have to.” The old man looked into her eyes. “I’m Woodpecker Joe, a Hired Hand from the fourth ward. I can tell you the details later. For now—”

“Used it!” The boy screamed as his eyes gleamed purple.

Woodpecker Joe grabbed her collar and yanked her up. He pushed her back without another word, pointing her to run as fast as she could. And she did. She dragged herself away with tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t resist the urge to turn her head back.

“Heehaw.”

Woodpecker Joe emptied his plasma pistol and smoked the bald man. It took all of it and didn’t back away. He hadn’t managed to retaliate just yet. The wind blew. He seemed to struggle to get his arm out of the cloak bundled over his head. He let out a manly shriek when the shit-stained parts of it harassed his back.

He disengaged and snatched the boy from the floor before bolting toward her. It was just in time for the cracked robot across the street, Seven, to run back into the scene with a giant spinning arm that appeared to be the inner workings of a washing machine.

“Now, isn’t this annoying?”

The bald man sighed, purple smoke pouring from his lips. He bared his teeth and lowered his stance. His skin melted purple and overflowed before it sucked itself to his bones, forming an incredibly muscled man twice his size. His furred legs cracked the concrete below him. He flexed his body, making it shine against the sun. White lines etched themselves into his skin, turning into a stream of tribal tattoos leading up to the demonic horns sticking out of his forehead.

He screeched like a banshee and threw a punch of his own. Seven’s momentum disappeared, but the sheer impact of that monster’s blow ripped the poor robot’s shoulder away from his body. He fell to his knees and got kicked through walls towards the next block like a soccer ball.

“And I can still fucking taste it in my mouth.”

The monster growled and turned to the rest of the party. He smiled, grabbed Seven’s arm and tossed it towards Anna like a pillow.

The shadow of death had come. This breath felt like her last. Her eyes pulsed and gleamed purple. At that moment, she understood the extent of her power.

She extended her left arm forward and smiled, tilting her head with a child-like interest. Time appeared slow. A burst of smoke puffed from the tips of her fingers. But it faded as soon as the sound of Woodpecker Joe’s pistol rang, and that chunk of metal disappeared after a second of what seemed to be the world turning from black to white and back.

“I can’t believe that I had to use that bullet in a place like this. Shit.”

Anna lost her balance and fell to the floor once again. She tried to muster her strength, but Woodpecker Joe already tossed the boy away, putting himself in between her and the monster with his pistol trembling at his side.

“That wooden arm…” The monster scoffed. “It seems just like the real thing. Are you planning to do something? I never thought I’d see you face-to-face, Woodpecker Joe.”

Woodpecker Joe groaned. “It’s fine. Maybe not all of my fans are weirdos.”

The monster tilted his head.

“That’s on me. I apologize. But please do back away. I’ve already called the police.”

The monster cracked his knuckles. “Robots won’t stop me.”

“But those that would come with them will,” Woodpecker Joe raised his gun. “How about this… How about I let YOU get away?”

“So, your plan is to shoot me in the back. Why don’t you take the shot right now? Two. Three. Maybe four shots before I could get there. The moment I do, I’ll break your head like a squishy ball.”

Woodpecker Joe scoffed. “Our squishy balls right now don’t break.”

“I can just rip it then.”

“It’s also tear-resistant, which would be perfect if you have pets. Or if you want to control your tendencies, which is normal, to rip things apart due to stress.”

“Are you mocking me?”

“You know nothing.” Woodpecker Joe took a deep breath, but his voice lost confidence. “They’ve sponsored one of my videos once, which you would know if you’ve watched my videos. They’re also heat resistant. You can leave them burning, and they’ll stay soot-free for days. And you would get them for only—”

“You—”

“You should go ahead and run, yes.” Woodpecker Joe’s voice trembled. He tapped his right temple and scoffed. “You don’t have this, unfortunately. That’s why you’ll get beat, right here right now.”

The boy snapped his finger to get Anna’s attention. He tossed her an earpiece, which she pressed to her ear. Looks like the monster wasn’t too focused on her. She swallowed and held her breath until a beep showed her that the mind link was complete.

“He-Hello—”

“Oh my goooooooooood, it’s HONEYCAKES44. IT’S HONEYCAKES44. Seven, you butthole, I got revenge. I’m near HoneyCakes44 right now. Take that. That’s what you get for being a b—”

“Benny, we can hear you,” Woodpecker Joe whispered in their heads. “Please.”

“Quite the big words from an old man and his scrawny Robin,” the monster laughed.

“Quite the big words from a glorified target,” Woodpecker Joe announced and transmitted, “Benny, we need to gosh darn run and get the frick away from here!”

“I can’t,” Benny replied. “Also, hi, HoneyCakes44. I recently subscribed to your content—”

“You must be TheDarkKingMr.B, then.” HoneyCakes 44 smiled at Benny. “Nice to meet you.”

“Seven, are you okay?”

“I am alive. Thank you for remembering me.” They all heard him busting through walls. “I am making my way there now. Thirty seconds.”

“Seven, HoneyCakes44 talked to me. Suck it!” Benny laughed.

“Suck what?”

Benny shut his mouth. “Nevermind.”

“Enough.” The monster screeched. “I know you’re talking telepathically. You can be as elaborate as you could with all your plans, but it’s still the same. Everybody dies, so take your shot, old man.”

“Oh, I will.” Woodpecker Joe lowered his pistol. He transmitted, “Can both of you run?”

Benny clicked his tongue. “I just said that I can’t.”

“You can use it. Take HoneyCakes44 away. Carry her like a princess. Don’t lose control.”

“Okay.” Benny’s face hardened with determination. “No problem.”

Anna wobbled to her feet. “I want to help.”

“See, the problem is that we can’t beat him,” Woodpecker Joe replied.

“Do you have… what, a trick up your sleeve or…”

“I have nothing, Benny.” Woodpecker Joe marched forward to meet the monster face to face. “At the very least, I can buy some time. I have to remind you… I’ve never lost a fight against Seven.”

“But you lost every fight against Seven.”

Woodpecker Joe sighed. “Don’t ruin this for me.”

“Well, then I’m staying.”

Benny’s eyes glowed with a domineering purplish light. The air around him changed. His glare sharpened, and all his teeth regained their point like a shark. He breathed a puff of purple smoke as his bones cracked to let him pick himself up from the ground.

“You owe me, old man,” he followed.

“I can help,” Anna gritted her teeth, feeling the veins pop around her eyes. “I can do things. We might be able to do things. We can kill him.”

“It’s unbecoming of you to say those words, HoneyCakes44. You run and contact the police. If you run away, you might get in touch with some of them since we kinda tipped off the alarm earlier. This isn’t a field trip. You can’t use this for content.”

Woodpecker Joe breathed as he stood so little in front of that monster. His horns were proud and sharp. His grin never faded as it dripped with saliva, even as the tribal lines on his face made him look all the more ridiculous. But he’s strong. He might even have a shot at squishing his head like a squishy ball, but that’s debatable.

“You,” he widened his smile. “are facing the Lavender Knight of the Purple King. My name… is Tao. Very well said, Woodpecker Joe. Do you have any other last words?”

“Oh,” Joe laughed and patted his shoulder with his gun. “I’ve had a good run, and I’ve killed plenty. Now, you wait for my mark.”

The monster bared his teeth and flexed his body. Anna bit her lower lip. She didn’t dare look away. Benny tried to grab her arm, but Anna resisted and rooted herself to the ground. She had something to do here.

The monster, Tao, screeched and swung to crush Woodpecker Joe’s head in a single blow. It was a blur. She was sure of it. It’s just that this old man seemed to have already dodged it and positioned himself to its side. Woodpecker Joe pointed his gun at Tao’s chest at point-blank range. He pressed the trigger two times, but no damage was taken.

“Itchy…”

Tao stepped forward and brandished his arms to whip him in half. He found air. It was another opening for Woodpecker Joe to punish. The old man ducked inside his defenses and jabbed his pistol into his forehead. He pressed the trigger to smoke the Lavender Knight’s skin, but that was it. Tao didn’t stop but he failed to hit him again and again until Woodpecker Joe managed to back away.

The Lavender Knight grinned. “You can’t hurt—”

To him, everything must’ve turned black. Woodpecker Joe set him up. Two shots. He burned both his eyes and stunned him for now. It’s just a few more seconds, but it was enough. Anna ran towards Joe.

Seven came running as well. He’s beaten. His arms and legs barely hung onto his joints, but he seemed braver, making every step much faster. It’s just a matter of…

“Frick it. You should've just at least run.”

Benny snapped his fingers. Tao grunted and covered his eyes with both fists as Joe chose to recharge his gun. The monster, but unfortunately, he lost that focus in a disgusted shiver as he stepped on the smear of shit that Seven left on the floor.

A mild inconvenience. He’s a second too late. Seven was already in range. Tao’s desperate attempt to stop him did nothing. He stretched his muscled arms to his right and caught the air. Seven lunged, made himself spin, and whipped his metallic leg deep and bent it against his collar bone.

Tao fell to his knees. He tried to lean on his right hand to retaliate, but he was inconvenienced yet again by a smear of shit that had a little bit of texture in them like oatmeal. That’s when he recovered his eyes.

His view shifted from that textured piece of shit to the image of a beaten robot, breaking his joints again to drive his broken leg through his horn and break his nose before sending him to eat the shit off the ground.

By then, Anna had reached out for Woodpecker Joe’s hand.

“What are you—”

“Trust me.” Her eyes gleamed purple as blood dripped from her nose. Her lips twisted into what felt like a maniacal grin. Somehow, it felt right. “Point your gun forward. We’ll kill him.”

“Seven, get the hell away from there!” Woodpecker Joe screamed.

Seven jumped to the side and crumbled like a cookie, but it's enough. There was no explanation for it, but it was just what Anna wanted. Woodpecker Joe raised his gun. A wall of purple smoke followed and twisted around his arm.

It gained weight. They both heard a piece of metal extend from the middle of the smoke and sink into the ground. A wooden knight emerged, acting as a shield to the cannon crackling with light and energy sticking out of its stomach.

“Woodpecker… Joe…” Tao growled.

Woodpecker Joe smiled nervously. “Heehaw.”

Anna fell to her knees. Woodpecker Joe pressed the trigger, breaking the cannon and the knight in front of him as a pulse of sound blasted and consumed everything in front of them.