Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

“Do you think they’ll like pizza?”

“Who?”

“You know, those two.”

“Oh, that couple.”

“Yeah, do you think they’ll like it if we order these?”

“I’m not sure, they don’t seem like the type that eats fast food.”

“Yeah, they seem like they go on dates at fancy restaurants to eat foie gras and truffles.”

“I know, right? They seem like the wine and dine sort of couple.”

That was a conversation I overheard between two girls while I was out with my classmates at the karaoke place the other day. They were discussing what food to order for everyone and their talk somehow drifted that way.

I wasn’t purposefully eavesdropping, though. They were sitting beside me and within earshot so I couldn’t help overhearing them. Although, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t being amused by their outlandish impression of Ken and Marie, the couple they were talking about.

As they were next to me and they knew that I was a friend of the people they were talking about, they asked me if what they wanted to order for everyone would be fine.

Of course, I told them Ken and Marie were normal people who ate normal people food. Well, one of them has a taste for some extreme flavor, but, for the most part, they weren't too different from anyone. The two girls didn’t need to know that, though.

They were relieved hearing my answer and started ordering the items they wanted, and that was the extent of my encounter with those two girls. I forgot about it until today when I spotted the aforementioned couple in the shopping district and it made me wonder what kind of restaurants they go to on their dates.

I don’t have a similar impression with those two girls and I don’t think Ken and Marie had that much money to be wining and dining in high class restaurants. However, there were still some things in between that and the cheap eateries broke college kids frequent to.

Trendy cafes? Themed restaurants? Or, fast food joints and family restaurants like the rest of the other normies?

I didn’t think I would find the answer in the shopping district, though. I thought they were just passing through, but I saw them make a turn and walk into a store whose sign indicated it was an eatery.

With my curiosity fully piqued, I rushed towards the storefront which they disappeared into.

Contrary to anyone’s expectations, it wasn’t a trendy cafe, a fancy restaurant, or even fine dining. They were on a date to a small eatery. One that you would find in most places.

Of course, appearances may still deceive. I thought that maybe its facade is just that and it’s an establishment that holds some sort of secret club at the back.

So, in order to find out, I entered the shop.

“Welcome!” I was unenthusiastically greeted by a single female staff member.

The interior is what you would expect from similar establishments. Simple with no fancy decorations. The smell of grease permeated from the kitchen and hung in the air. Loud and crowded due to the small floor area.

I scanned the floor, which could only fit three tables for four persons and an equal amount of tables that can only seat two. I didn’t spot either Ken or Marie. I have thought that I may have just mistook them for somebody else, but I could not find another boy and girl pair, much less anyone with the same clothes as I saw them in. It heightened my suspicion that there was something at the back.

Then, that one female server approached me and, without changing her bored tone, asked, “Are you here for the event?”

It gave me confidence about my deductions as that implied there was more to this simple eatery.

“Yeah, where is it going to be held?”

“At the back”, she said, confirming my suspicions.

She then asked me to pay the entrance fee upfront.

At this point, I could still walk away satisfied that Ken and Marie were not going on dates to cheap eateries. I could simply ask the two what exactly is behind this certain establishment at a later time. However, there’s always a chance they might be sworn to secrecy and they won’t tell me. Not to mention, the urge to know has simply taken over me.

So, I paid the fee despite being a bit steep for me. But, I justified the expense by thinking I will be having something for lunch that I don’t usually eat on top of satisfying my curiosity.

After asking me to write my name on some kind of form, the waitress ushered me to the back of the store, which, to my surprise, is simply just the back door. It led outside to a small plot of land behind the rows of buildings of the shopping district. Not only that, but it was sandwiched between the neighboring taller buildings so sunlight barely reaches it even when it’s already close to noon.

My impression of the venue is that, rather than it being some cool, hip place where trendy young people can hang out, it looks more like an arena for a secret fight club.

I immediately regretted my decision to come here. Although, it made me even more curious as to why Ken and Marie entered this place.

It was already a full house and the crowd could not be any more intimidating with all their noise. I cowered as I followed the waitress who was leading me to the other end of the area.

There, I found a very long table, much to my confusion. I was expecting a boxing ring, or a cage, or something similar.

“Sit anywhere you like at this table”, the staff said to me. “The event will start in ten minutes.”

I had plenty of questions I wanted to ask, especially what event did I find myself in specifically. But, she immediately left me once she thought her task was done. She either didn’t hear my voice over the noise of the crowd or willfully ignored me as she made her way back to the eatery.

“Kat!”

I hear someone call my name over the noise of the crowd. I heard the voice call multiple times at least.

I looked to find who it was and I found Marie seated at that long table and waving at me. The voice calling me was hers.

Once our eyes met, she motioned for me to go to her.

Seeing a familiar face in such an intimidating place makes me feel a bit at ease. I would feel even better if I was beside them, especially if - or, perhaps, when a fight breaks out, so I complied.

When I got closer, I noticed Ken was sitting right beside her. That confirms they are on some date, but, considering the location, the question now is what kind.

Although, I guess I’d be finding that out through them soon, including the answer to what I got myself into.

“Hi, Kat!”

“Hey, Kat!”

The two of them greeted me once I was within range where none of us needed to shout at each other.

“Hey, you guys”, I greeted back while trying to hide the awkwardness of meeting the two when I technically stalked them to this place.

After our greetings, they invited me to sit with them. The seats on either side of the couple were empty so I took the one beside Marie.

“I didn’t know you were into this kind of thing”, Marie said as soon as I was settled.

“Yeah, well, you know…”

I answered vaguely to hide the embarrassing fact that I didn’t know what I found myself joining into because it would no doubt lead to an even more awkward conversation that I was essentially stalking the two of them.

“Quite daring of you to do this days before our trip, don’t you think?”

“I could say the same to you”, I answered, despite not being clear about the context of her statement.

“What preparations did you do for today?”

“I didn’t prepare for anything, really.”

That was the truth, obviously.

“Hmm? Confident, aren’t we?” she reacted, sounding impressed, but may as well be sarcastic.

“Ken and I only had yogurt for breakfast today. Our last real meal was yesterday, which was a big lunch.”

“Is that so?”

I wasn’t sure what kind of activity needs that kind of preparation so that was all that I could say.

“Impressive, isn’t it?”

I nodded in agreement, although I wasn’t sure what to be impressed about.

“Of course, the other contestants probably did more to prepare to try and win, but the two of us are just here to compete against each other, really.”

I looked at Ken who was just silently listening into our conversation. He wasn’t eavesdropping in a creepy stalker kind of way, though. Rather, he was still very much part of the conversation. He was just letting Marie do all the talking.

Anyway, he nodded to confirm what Marie had just said.

“Don’t get us wrong, though”, Marie continued. “We're not here to disrespect the competition or anything and it would be nice to win, but we’re setting realistic expectations for ourselves.”

My impression of the place still hasn’t changed from being some fight club so I had trouble imagining how all of the things she had said fit. But, I have to continue with the flow of the conversation so I don’t get found out.

“So, what sort of rules do you have for your side competition?”

“It’s simple”, she stated. ”The last one standing wins!”

That answer made me even more nervous. Not only because I might see the two beat each other up - and it won’t be pretty for Marie since she has the disadvantage of having a smaller build than Ken, but also because it made me believe that I found myself participating in an underground battle royale.

Ken corrected her, however.

“I told you that phrasing is ambiguous and has some loopholes”, he said. “The rule is the one who has eaten the most bowls wins.”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot”, Marie apologized to Ken. Then, she turned back to me and said, “Ken’s right, we’re competing on who can finish the most bowls!”

“Huh? Bowls? What do you mean?”

As I had already been convinced that we were in an underground fight arena, I had trouble figuring out what kind of bowl they were talking about and why finishing a number of them is significant.

The two of them seemed taken aback by my question.

“What do you mean by ‘what do you mean’?” Marie asked, who now seemed as confused as I am.

Before I could answer, or, rather, try to weasel my way out of it as it was a slip-up that could expose me, Ken proposed a theory.

“Maybe they don’t have bowls where she’s from”, he said.

“Don’t be silly, bowls are pretty universal”, she countered. “Maybe she’s just confused on whether we’re talking about the dish or the bowl itself.”

“Huh, do you also eat the bowls? Do beef bowls come in edible bowls in your hometown?”

Ken was asking me, but Marie quickly quipped “There’s no way edible bowls exist!”

The two of them then looked at me expecting the answer.

I didn't reply to them immediately, though, because that was the moment I realized they were talking about beef bowls. The setting and their conversation was all starting to make sense now.

The long table we were sitting at is, more or less, just a long dining table.

The crowd, now that I got a better look at them, is nothing more than families with kids. I felt silly mistaking the children's screams and laughter for something more ominous. In my defense, they were shouting quite violently.

Adding this all up plus my conversation with Marie and Ken, I may have gotten myself into some kind of event related to food.

My view of the place has become less sinister now.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you meant something else", I said to the two, trying to pass it off as a misunderstanding. "We also eat beef bowls on normal bowls."

"I see. Then, do you want to compete with us as well?" Marie said. "It's basically the same rule as the event. In case of a tie, the one who has eaten more is the winner."

"I think I'll pass on that."

I already got myself into a food event that I wasn’t prepared for, I didn’t want extra pressure. Not to mention, if the two had made preparations for the event, then I’m already at a disadvantage and my chances of winning against the two are already slim without that.

They didn’t mind that I wouldn’t join their side competition and the three of us chatted a bit about other things until the start of the event. More people were taking their places at the long table as well.

A few minutes later, some music started playing and the waitress that I met earlier stood in front of the table facing the crowd. She seems to be the host for the event.

After testing the microphone, she started with the opening ceremony.

“Welcome, everyone”, she greeted the crowd, sounding as disinterested as she was when she welcomed me into the store earlier. “Today is our store’s anniversary, but you all already know that, including how this store has come to be, so I’m not going to tell that story anymore.”

The crowd burst into laughter. I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a joke considering her tone so I didn't know if I should be laughing along. The pair next to me seem to find it funny as well, though.

Meanwhile, I thought I heard a lone angry voice shouting she should stick to the script.

“So, let the beef bowl eating competition begin”, the waitress declared, which was met by an enthusiastic round of applause despite her lack of zeal.

Afterwards, everyone sitting at the long table was served an extra large serving of beef bowl along with a pitcher of water. We were also given a large number tag. I was number 10 while Marie and Ken were 9 and 8 respectively.

It would be wrong to say it as an assumption since, after everything I’ve seen, surely, all of us are the participants in this event.

At least it’s not a fight club.

Still, it was pretty unnerving in a different way. I wasn’t looking forward to embarrassing myself in front of a crowd.

The waitress-cum-host, who has since moved to the side, started explaining the rules.

“There will be fifteen minutes. The contestant who finishes the most extra large beef bowls within that time is the winner. Throwing up means disqualification.”

As concise as she could.

“Contestants, start on my signal.”

She paused as everyone on each side of me grabbed their eating utensils of choice - spoons of varying sizes, chopsticks, rice scoopers, what have you - ready to pounce on the food in front of them.

“Go.”

Everyone quickly started eating at the signal.

Meanwhile, I lagged behind as I was intimidated by the amount of the food in front of me. The bowl was large and contained two servings of rice and there’s a kilogram’s worth of beef strips on top of it.

I was already getting heartburn just looking at it.

Marie, who I probably shouldn’t be comparing myself with, but she is the closest to me in terms of build among the participants, didn’t seem perturbed by it as she started eating upon the signal like everyone else.

It goes without saying Ken was unhinged as well.

I wasn’t expecting there to be some color commentary so I was a bit surprised when the host chimed in.

“Interesting strategies from our only two female contestants today”, she said, still sounding bored. “Number 9 is taking it slow, while number 10 has taken a delayed start.”

She was pertaining to Marie and me. I glanced at Marie and, as was said, she wasn’t gorging down on the food like everyone else.

“It’s a bold strategy, but it’s heavily reliant on how the other contestants fare”, the commentary continued. “Remember, the winner is decided by the amount consumed within the time limit. Giving up is not a disqualification and their scores will count so, even if you’re the only survivor once the time runs out, there’s still a chance you may not win if someone else has eaten more than you.”

That felt like it was aimed at me, who is still hesitating on eating the monstrosity before me. The other person next to me seems to be halfway done with his first bowl. The pressure on me was mounting.

I convinced myself that I should at least try to get my money’s worth so I finally started eating as well. I decided to copy Marie’s approach and take it slow.

Obviously, that put me and Marie behind the others. I was not even a quarter into my first bowl and some contestants were already asking for a second helping, Ken included. Marie has only consumed half of hers so far.

When Marie was done with her first, the other participants started asking for their third bowls. Meanwhile, I was still halfway through with mine.

“Most contestants are now on their third bowl”, the host said. “The real contest starts now.”

I didn’t get what she meant at first, but I would start seeing it after a few moments. I finished my first bowl first before someone on the other side of the table dropped out.

“Contestant number two has dropped out”, it was announced.

I also noticed that the other contestants near me started slowing down on their third bowl. I couldn’t really fault them as one bowl was already heavy enough. I already slowed my pace down, slower than how I started, even before I finished my first serving.

However, Ken and Marie seem to be the only ones keeping their pace. Ken asked for a fourth bowl before anyone else. A few moments later, Marie caught up with the pack and asked for her third.

Meanwhile, four more contestants have dropped out. There were sixteen in total. Eleven remain. It didn’t take long until most of those started on their fourth bowls.

Ken, this time, has started showing signs of slowing down. He still tries to gobble up the food as fast as he can, but he started taking breaks in between short bursts.

Marie, surprisingly, still hasn’t shown signs of being full as she maintained her pace even on her third bowl.

The other contestants are starting to ask for their fourth bowls. But, not without casualties. A few more dropped out. Some of those have thrown up and have been disqualified. As for me, I gave up around the same time after consuming one and a half bowls. Including Ken and Marie, there were only four contestants left.

“Five minutes left”, the host announced.

However, Marie has only cleared her third bowl as of this moment. Technically, she’s in last place.

But, as if in a foot race, she took that time check as the signal to pick up her pace. She even seemed faster than anyone when the contest started.

Her pace wasn’t the surprising part, though. It was that she was able to do it even after eating so much.

Meanwhile, Ken, who was the first to ask for a fourth bowl, was lagging behind the other two contestants, who each had already asked for their fifth. There was only a quarter left on his bowl, but he was already visibly struggling to finish it.

“Three minutes left. Contestant number fifteen has thrown up and is disqualified.”

At this point, Ken managed to finish his fourth bowl and asked for the next one. However, he was struggling to take another bite.

Marie was steadily and surely gaining on him. The two minute warning came and she finished her fourth bowl.

However, four bowls seems to be her limit as well. Unlike Ken who looks like he’s holding back from vomiting, her expression remained cool and composed, but she wasn’t touching the food.

Neither of the pair have given up, though, as both of them held their spoons in front of them with the intention of eating the contents.

The one minute warning was called.

Ken and Marie looked at each other knowing that the next bite could be the winner between their own little contest. But, thirty seconds pass by with neither making a move.

I wasn’t sure what’s going on with that other remaining contestant as I was more preoccupied watching these two.

Ten seconds remain and the host starts counting down.

The two then slowly started moving their spoons closer to their mouths.

“Nine.”

“Eight.”

“Seven.”

“Six.”

“Five.” The crowd joined in on the countdown.

Finally, Ken made a move and took a bite.

However, that was also his demise.

He hurriedly picked up the paper bag that was prepared for each contestant beforehand and threw up into it.

He was disqualified.

“Four.”

“Three.”

Marie then took a bite. I wasn’t sure what her intention was as she had already won, but, if I had to guess, it was probably so Ken would have no complaints on who had eaten more. She seems to be forcing herself, though.

“Two.”

“One.”

Marie then managed to eat the food without throwing up so she now had the advantage over Ken by one bite.

“Zero.”

“Contestant number eight has thrown up and contestant number three has not touched his fifth bowl so the winner is contestant number nine”, declared the host without zeal.

I hadn’t noticed, but apparently Marie was paying attention to that other contestant, which is why she took that last bite.

Considering what they had said earlier about managing expectations and stuff, I thought her winning was quite a feat.

At least, until the host said, “The former champion has won again after a three-year absence.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be surprised or not by this fact.

However, that wasn’t my biggest shock of the day. It was finding out that what I ate only totals to a fraction of what I paid to enter the event.