The Bitter Separation and A Promise

“You don’t have to let go.”

Sakuya’s voice pulled me out of my reminiscence and back into reality—where I was sitting facing Sakuya and she was offering me her hand.

“Huh?” I stared blankly at her outstretched hand.

“Your hatred. You don’t have to let it go, Shinji.” Sakuya grinned as she spoke to me. “You can let it keep smoldering inside you, reminding you to keep fighting against the twisted Kagura Family. Use even that hatred itself as your weapon. Isn’t that what you taught me a year ago?”

I pursed my lips, considering her proposal seriously for the first time. “What can you offer to me?” I finally asked.

“We have the same goal. Just a different way to achieve it.” Sakuya replied calmly. “You want to destroy the Kagura Family, while I want to transform them. Both of us simply hate the old ways of the Kagura Family. I can achieve our goal with more peaceful ways, which suits your nature better than the ruthless way, I assume.”

“How can I trust you?” I challenged her. “Who knows how long it will take for you to achieve your ideals? Who’s to say that you won’t change your mind mid-way and turn on us instead?”

“Three years.” Sakuya answered instantly. “Give me three years and all of your forces. I’ll take over the family and transform it in that span of time. I already have a plan to execute it. I simply lack enough capable subordinates to pull it off.”

I was taken aback for a moment. She threw out the deadline so easily, as if she’d already prepared everything, and all that was left was to execute it. However, if that was the case, then why did she desperately need my help?

“What if you failed?” I narrowed my eyes. “What if we’d committed everything to help you, and yet you still failed?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Sakuya declared so confidently that I lost the timing to retort. “Like I said, I’m just offering you the more peaceful way to achieve your goal. If I failed and died…well, you have three years to decide how to use my death as effectively as possible.”

Her vivid crimson eyes held a determination so strong that I was taken aback. She saw no importance in her own life, as long as it could help her achieve her desired future.

I was about to open my mouth and scolded her about it when someone else beat me to the punch.

“Sakuya-san!” Ryuu protested from behind her. “Please don’t talk about your own life so lightly! If you die, then it’s all over! No matter what you achieve with your death, it’s all meaningless if you’re not there to experience it yourself!”

“But the future generation will.” Sakuya refuted, unshaken by Ryuu’s words. “No more children like me, Onii-sama, or Shinji will be born. If my death is all it takes, then I’ll gladly—”

“It won’t be worth it!” Ryuu grabbed Sakuya’s shoulder and turned her to face him. “None of us want to live on your sacrifice, or anyone else’s! It’ll only be worth it if you live to see your dream comes true! Sakuya-san, if you’re going to disappear from this world, then I don’t see any meaning in staying alive either! That’s why, for my sake, won’t you stay alive?” He desperately pleaded with her, not realizing that he’d just proposed to her.

All of the other delinquents were staring at Ryuu with shocked faces, but neither Ryuu nor Sakuya seemed to realize it. I watched Sakuya’s cheeks blush with mixed feelings. I was happy that someone thought of Sakuya so preciously that he was willing to follow her even to death, but I also felt like my little sister was being stolen away. I idly wondered if this was what Kazuya would feel if he were here.

“I-I…um…” Sakuya averted her eyes in a fluster—it was the first time I saw her acting like this.

Then her eyes met mine, and she snapped back into her senses.

“R-Ryuu, I think we should talk about this later…” She subtly tried to remind him, but Ryuu only saw it as her way to avoid giving any promises.

“Sakuya-san, I’m not dropping this until you promise me!” He insisted.

“Um…do you…really want to talk about this now…?” Sakuya glanced around with embarrassed face.

Ryuu finally realized their audience and regained his composure. With an equally red face, he stepped away from Sakuya and mumbled, “…I think you’re right. We’ll continue this later.”

I coughed to hide my laughter, but judging from Sakuya’s sharp glare, I wasn’t doing a good job at it.

“So? Anything else you’re not satisfied with, Shinji?” She took a jab at me.

“No…I was about to refuse before Ryuu interrupted.” I controlled my emotions and answered.

Sakuya’s eyes widened and she was about to protest when I quickly continued my words.

“I don’t want to work with people who don’t value their lives.” Then I remembered my all-too-willing-to-die comrades and I quickly amended, “At least not anymore. I prefer someone who’s willing to struggle until the very end, without escaping to an easy death and leaving it to someone else. If you can promise that you won’t let yourself be killed so easily, I’ll take that deal.”

Sakuya wore a serious look as she put her hand on her heart and swore, “I promise I will not stop fighting until this heart stops beating. I swear that on my pride as the Banchou.”

I grinned when I heard that. I still didn’t know if entrusting my dream to her was the right decision or not, but I was certain that I wouldn’t regret it.

“It’s a deal.”

*****

I quietly let out a relieved sigh after having convinced Shinji to take my side. If he were to stubbornly refuse, I’d have no other choice than to kill him and have someone else lead his forces. But it was way harder and more unreliable, so I was glad I didn’t have to resort to that.

“Yuuji, release Shinji and take him to regroup with the others. Tell Hiiro that we’re going with the original plan.” I instructed the nearest delinquent.

“Got it, Kagura-san.” Yuuji nodded and promptly did as I told.

When everyone was about to go inside and continue with the latter half of our plan—which involved forcing Kazami to acknowledge the delinquents as my personal subordinates—I stopped one particular person.

“Ryuu, can you stay behind for a moment? There’s something I need to talk to you about.” I asked him.

Ryuu seemed confused by my request, nonetheless he still nodded. “Sure, Sakuya-san.”

“I’m sorry, but can all of you tell Hiiro that I give him the full authority to lead the negotiation in my stead?” I glanced toward the other delinquents.

They seemed confused by the sudden change, but they still nodded. I waited patiently until all of the delinquents were gone to make sure that no one would hear our conversation.

“Sakuya-san, what is—?”

Before Ryuu could finish his sentence, I threw myself at him and hugged him tightly.

“S-Sakuya-san…?!” Ryuu squirmed around in surprise and embarrassment.

“I missed you.” I muttered, and he abruptly stopped moving.

After a moment of silence, Ryuu slowly returned my hug.

“…I missed you too.” He whispered.

We both fell silent, enjoying the moment that felt like it could last forever.

But we knew that ‘forever’ didn’t exist.

“Ryuu…” I broke the silence first. “Thank you for coming to save me today. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even think of changing the family instead. And…I’m sorry for those harsh things I said to you back then.”

I felt Ryuu’s body stiffen at my words, then he quickly tried to hide it by joking, “You’ve said a lot of harsh things to me, so which ones are you referring to?”

“That night when you tried to save me with Hiiro and Ouji.” I spoke. “You were only trying to help, but I hurt you and pushed you to despair instead. I’m really sorry.”

Ryuu shook his head. “Sakuya-san, it’s not your fault. If you didn’t do that, we’d probably lose our heads instead. But I do have something to say about that…”

He suddenly pulled away from me, allowing him to look straight at me.

“Please don’t ever tell me to forget about you again.” Ryuu earnestly asked me. “I made the choice to stay by your side. If I really can’t handle being with you anymore, I’ll walk away with my own volition. So please…” He rested his head on my shoulder. “…don’t tell me to throw my feelings away.”

“Ryuu…” I was suddenly choked by the feelings of gratitude and love toward him. I really didn’t deserve such a wonderful, devoted person like him. “Thank you.” Thank you for choosing someone like me.

“Sakuya-san…” Ryuu suddenly lifted his head and wore a serious look on his face. He took several deep breaths, as if bracing himself for something bad.

I stared at him with a puzzled look. “W-What is it?”

“I…I'm…I’m sorry it took me so long to say this, but…I…” Ryuu struggled to squeeze out his words. “Gah, this is harder than I thought! G-Give me a second, okay?”

He turned his back to me and did something similar to a breathing exercise. I tilted my head, wondering why Ryuu suddenly acted strangely like this. My mind automatically assumed that he was about to say something important…and hard to say. Upon deciding that, my heartbeat instantly slowed down, as if extinguishing all traces of expectation and excitement within me. That way, no matter what Ryuu said, I’d be able to accept it calmly.

After what felt like an eternity—although it was probably only five minutes—Ryuu turned around. His cheeks were furiously blushing and he was fidgeting nervously. It was clear that the breathing exercise didn’t help at all.

“S-Sakuya-san…” Ryuu repeated with shaky voice. “I…I’ve a-always…”

Unable to bear it, I reached out and cupped Ryuu’s face with both of my hands, surprising him.

I smiled softly at him and said, “It’s okay, Ryuu. Calm down and take your time. Whatever you’re going to say, I’ll hear it out, okay?”

Ryuu’s eyes widened, but it did help his nerves. His fidgeting stopped and he looked considerably calmer, even though he was still blushing.

“Sakuya-san…I’ve always been in love with you.” Ryuu finally confessed. “I-I know that this isn’t the most appropriate time, with the messy situation and all, but I at least wanted you to know this.”

My hands slipped off Ryuu’s face as I stared at him blankly. “…eh?”

Seeing my shock gave Ryuu more confidence instead. He continued, “At first I simply thought of you as a spoiled and tyrannical girl, who enjoys troubling me with your whims. But then I saw how you stood up for your friends, how you held fast to your own beliefs without bending to anyone, and when I realized it…I was already in love.”

“W-Wait a second, Ryuu…” I could feel the heat in my cheeks, dyeing it as red as an apple.

“I’m not asking you to decide right now, but please…” Ryuu stared at me with such an earnest look that it hurt. “…won’t you consider your answer for me seriously?”

“I…I…” Now it was my turn to be tongue-tied.

I took a deep breath and tried—futilely—to calm my pounding heart down. I’d wanted to talk to Ryuu alone to say my farewell privately, but instead he sprang this on me!

“I…” I closed my eyes and gave up on trying to deny my feelings. “I’m really happy.” I whispered, letting my true feelings pour out. “I’ve never thought that someone could love me, who was part of the twisted Kagura Family and whose hands were tainted with blood. I never dared to hope…that someone will accept me.”

“Sakuya-san, I don’t care for any of that.” Ryuu immediately reassured me. “No matter who your family is, no matter what you’ve done in the past, you’re still you. You’re still the Sakuya that I fell in love with.”

I reflexively let out a laughter—my chest felt so stuffed with happiness that it could explode. “Thank you, Ryuu. I love you too, but…I want to ask you to stay away from me.”

I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes, but I held my gaze at Ryuu’s face. At first he looked confused, then my words started to sink in, and his face changed into shock and hurt.

“W-What? Why…?!”

“Ryuu, please listen to me calmly.” I said as soothingly as possible. “I’m about to head into a battle that I cannot afford to lose against my family. I need to focus all of my attention if I want to win this battle. And in order to do that, I can’t have any weaknesses at all.”

Comprehension dawned on Ryuu’s face, but it only pronounced the pain in his eyes.

“So…” I reached out and touched his cheek, which had visibly cooled down. “…won’t you do me a favor and keep yourself safe?”

Ryuu smiled bitterly. “It seems you’ve made up your mind. Is there anything that I can do to change it? I want to help you, Sakuya-san.”

I shook my head. “You’ll help me the most by keeping yourself away from the conflict, Ryuu. That way, I don’t have to worry about your safety.”

“And you don’t care if I worry myself to death over you?” Ryuu retorted.

“I’ll be fine. I have Hiiro, Ouji, Shinji, and everyone else by my side.” I reassured him.

Ryuu sighed and clasped his hand over mine on his cheek. He held onto it so desperately, as if he would lose me without it.

“…I wish I could be as strong as them, so I can stay by your side.” He murmured resentfully.

“No, you’re perfect the way you are. My irreplaceable piece—my king.” I leaned closer and pulled Ryuu to slightly bend down, letting our foreheads touch each other.

“That’s not fair, Sakuya-san. If you say it like that, then there’s nothing I can do.” Ryuu protested.

I laughed. “Don’t you know that I never play fair?”

Then we both fell silent as Ryuu pondered over my request and I waited for him to cave in.

“…for how long?” Ryuu finally asked.

I wanted to give him a definite answer, to reassure him that I had everything under control. Unfortunately, I didn’t have an answer for this. I silently shook my head.

“…I see.” Ryuu closed his eyes, as if he had resigned himself to this. “I’ll do it…if you promised me a few things.”

“Tell me.” I tried not to sound so relieved at his answer. “I’ll do my best to fulfil it.”

“Promise me that you’ll contact me whenever you can.” Ryuu stated his first request, and he hurriedly added when I was about to protest, “Only if you deem it safe to contact me, of course. I don’t want to render all of your efforts useless by putting myself in danger because of this.”

I pursed my lips in disagreement, but I relented anyway. “…okay. I’ll try to contact you if I can. What’s next?”

“Promise me that you’ll keep yourself safe. No sacrificing yourself and leaving me behind.” He continued.

“I promise.” I instantly answered. I’d made up my mind to survive through this whole ordeal and came back to him after all.

“And lastly…” Ryuu’s voice faltered as he hesitated.

“Ryuu?” I looked up to him worriedly.

He seemed like he wanted to say something, but nothing escaped his mouth, as if he wasn’t sure whether to say it or not.

“Is it…something hard to say?” I grew concerned.

Ryuu bit his lips before he finally said, “…lastly, promise me that you won’t cheat on me, okay?”

He said it teasingly, but I had the feeling that he wanted to say something different. Nonetheless, I didn’t pry about it.

“Of course I won’t!” I pretended to be offended. “You’re the only weird person who could fall in love with someone like me!”

Ryuu let out a long sigh at my answer. “Sakuya-san, it’s good to be dense, but it’s also bad to be that dense. Don’t you realize how charming you are? I kept worrying that Hiiro or Ouji-senpai or someone else will snatch you away while I’m not looking.”

I laughed, not really believing him. If that were the case, then those two would’ve confessed to me from a long time ago. And yet, they both remained my best friends. But I decided to placate Ryuu anyway.

“Fine, fine, I’ll promise you that.” I laced my fingers with his as I said this.

“You don’t really believe me, do you?” Ryuu looked at me accusingly.

“I still think you’re overestimating me.” I shook my head with a smile.

Even as we bickered, none of us brought up the duration of our separation. We both understood that only time would tell if we were fated to be together again.

Eventually, we ran out of things to say, and our short time was coming to an end. Despite that, our hands were still tightly interlocked with each other, refusing to let go.

“…promise me?” Ryuu asked once again.

“I promise.” I answered sincerely.

“I love you, Sakuya-san.” He whispered into my ear.

I closed my eyes, wishing that this moment would last forever.

“…I love you too, Ryuu. My Ryuu.” I murmured bitterly.

Slowly, but surely, our interlocked fingers came apart. I stood rooted in my spot as I watched Ryuu turn his back on me and walk away.

“Ryuu…” I whispered to myself. I’ll come and pick you up someday, once everything has ended. I promise it on my name.

It was the last time I saw Ryuu for years to come.