Chapter 9:

The New Normal

She Can't Be That Perfect!!


Astella Mall has been one of Amy’s regular haunts ever since her first days at the academy. There are two kinds of visitors: the members, whose wristbands grant them access to the fine dining court, the rooftop golf course and the karting track to name a few privileges; and the crowd, who have nowhere else to go if they want to afford their basic amenities. Amy doesn’t have that problem, she gets the Astella student discount for everything.

“You hungry?” Mia asks.

“For…” Amy cautiously replies.

“Bagels,” Mia points at a cart in the middle of the corridor. Amy’s shoulders slouch in relief. She half-expected it to be that bougie patisserie or that fancy takeaway place but finally, Mia’s learnt what a normal snack is.

"Good shout," Amy praises her. It's not just for positive reinforcement; she enjoys seeing Mia's pearly smile and this is the easiest way to do it. 

They approach the cart, settling on an order right away: Mia goes for a chocolate truffle filling, while Amy opts for a plain one with a sneeze of sesame on it.

“Same receipt?” the cashier asks. 

It's an inoffensive question, but it sends Amy into fight or flight. She reaches into her pocket, counts some change at lightning speed, then drops it on the counter before Mia can beam a 'yes'. She pouts, but it barely lasts a second. Her sights are already set on the next exciting thing to do.

“So, where now?” Amy asks, fuelling the spark in Mia's eyes.

"Well," she drawls. "We've been to the bubble tea place, the skating rink, the cat cafe –"

"Someone took their memory pills today."

“It’s easy to remember good times.”

"Right, good. You didn't have the feline corps hunting you!"

“They liked you!”

"They liked you. I was their scratching post and biting dummy."

"Cats show affection in so many ways!"

"Said the girl who's had only purring kittens on her lap!"

"Ellie says I smell like catnip."

"Excuse me?" comes a squeaky voice from behind. It's a little girl, all a nervous fidget. She's holding a phone too big for her hand and can't go a second without glancing at her parents, motioning her to keep going. "Could we take a picture?"

Mia turns to Amy, who rolls her eyes and nods. "Umm, sure?"

The girl's gaze glimmers with joy, "Can we go to the statue?"

"Okay," Mia says, the little girl already dragging her to the esplanade. With a sigh, Amy follows behind, checking her phone. Seven minutes. They're getting faster. Then again, it's not like Mia is hard to recognise.

The statue is an enormous sculpture depicting Edward Astella and his daughter. She's chasing a butterfly, about to follow it off a cliff if it weren't for his hand holding her on steady ground. Amy's always thought it's a bit of a funny piece. The implication is that Mia's about to plummet to her death, but it's a hard thing to imagine when the 'drop' is one-foot tall and ends in a shallow pool of water, teeming with fish.

Amy settles on an empty bench, a safe distance from Mia. The swarm is upon her, a hungry forum asking her everything from stock market advice to what spices go in obscure dishes. To no one's surprise, Mia has all the answers and all the patience. She's a Stellar Scholar, after all and so is Amy. But seeing Mia right now, it's clear her floor is ten levels above Amy's ceiling.

She catches stray glances. People are noticing her uniform and she cups her hair over her mouth like a good. She hates the attention, especially when it's undeserved, but she can't let it get to her. Mia's watching her and she can't seem weak. When she returns her glances, Amy shoves every ounce of anxiety and worthlessness behind a mask of calm.

Time passes slowly. The crowd, finally satisfied with everything they've wrung out of Mia, disperses. 

"Sorry it's taken so long," Mia plops down next to Amy. She gives a hollow laugh, "They really like talking to me."

"It's fine," Amy chimes.

"Not really," Mia sighs. She sounds more displeased than exhausted, "I wish they didn't look up to me like that."

Amy's lips twitch. She wants to say something, but it's stupid. They might be kindred in some regards, but there's still an insurmountable gap between them. But still, she can't help grabbing Mia's hand, dragging her to her feet.

"Let's get away from here."

"Where are we going?" Mia coos.

“Guess.”

“Hmm… the bookstore?”

Amy feigns surprise, "Wow! How did you know?"

"It's nice, quiet, empty and you love reading. Your mother used to make up all sorts of stories for you when you were little. Plus, you said you used to go there with your father a lot and we haven't been there yet."

“A+. Good job, detective.”

Mia gives a precious chuckle, "Friends should know these things."

Friends. We really are that, huh? Slowly, Amy's hand slides out of Mia's grip. She needs a little space to think and the bookstore is just what she needs. It's just as Mia described it, but she's missed one adjective. It's typical. Not trying to be special or extravagant in anyway. They just sell nerdy stuff, comics, board games, tea blends, posters and – other memorabilia. And books, naturally.

Mia stops to gawk at the toys, allowing Amy to slink to the non-fiction section undisturbed. The Event Planner's Handbook, Special Nights (or Days): The Ultimate Guide for Planning Events and Events for Dummies (101) make their way into her arms. She knows it's redundant and repackaged drivel, but it's still something and she needs all the help she can get. Especially if she's going to leave her mark on this fete and give Mia something to –

"Ha – yah!" Mia jabs her in the stomach. Amy doubles over, dropping her books to the floor. When she looks up, she meets the tip of a foam rapier and an infectious goofy smile. "En garde!" Mia exclaims, tossing a plastic cutlass at her.

Amy catches it and just in time. She parries Mia's sudden lunge, but the follow-up strike catches her by surprise. She dodges backward, barely keeping her balance.

"Very well, mousquetaire," Mia taunts. "You are well trained in the arts of the blade."

"Your French accent sucks."

"Silence!

Mia fleches, a mad, but predictable dash. She pivots around it, spotting an opening. Twice she slices before her, Mia parrying the first without looking, then the second with disarming strength.

"But your form is impeccable," Amy notes.

Mia flips her hair, "National champion since I was 6."

"Is there something you aren't a champion at?"

Mia rushes her again, but Amy doesn't evade it this time. She counterattacks, their blades bracing against each other. They grunt playfully, trying to win the shodown.

"I'm sure there is. Have you taken fencing?"

"A little. Dad loves our traditions."

"For good reason. It's my favourite sport."

Favourite. The words swims in her head, birthing opportunities and ideas and making thoughts into points of action. Distracted, she lowers her guard and Mia spots the opening. She charges and by the time Amy realises, there's no time for a riposte. The cutlass flies off her hand, landing right at the sales assistant's feet.

“No fighting with the products, please,” comes his tired voice. The slight hint of indignation on his face makes Amy shiver. She looks around the 'battleground'. They sparred cleanly, but they've still managed to knock over a couple figurines. Amy drops to her knees, pats down the creased carpet, then collects her books.

“Can you ring these up, please?”

"Follow me," he rolls his eyes. He slots behind the register and scans the books with deliberate slowness. A little punishment for their mischief.

"Make them out in my name, please," Mia offers.

“No!" Amy almost yells. "That – won’t be necessary.”

"It's a fifty pound haul. You said a fiver was too much."

"For water. That stuff is free from the tap!"

"And books are free from me. Put them –"

"Wait! I have a... fidelity card! Here!" she says, producing a laminated card from her purse. The assistant scans it withholding a sigh. The price drops – by fifty pence.

"Nothing happened," Mia crosses her arms.

"Not yet!" Amy chuckles nervously. "But at 1000 books, I get a freebie, right?"

"Sure, whatever," the assistant mutters.

"I can make everything a freebie, Amy."

"Y-yeah, but –" Amy touches her card to the waiting reader. The long, approving beep makes Mia relent. "Some things are better... earned."

Amy snatches the bag off the counter and rushes out of the bookstore. There's no stopping Mia when she gets in a generous mood and she can only pout so many times before she starts sulking. Amy can already hear the rumble in her throat, like a tiger waiting to pounce. She just needs to keep her eyes in front of her and her feet pointed towards the nearest exit.

Lucky for Amy, temptation is lost on her. They pass by a jewellery store, three fashion outlets, then sportswear, makeup, creams, perfumes and lingerie. None attract her. They're too high-end, meant for people much, much better than her. But it's fine. There's one corner left and one more shop before the escalator. Then it's all food stalls and 'I'm full' until home. What did it sell again? Was it –

Amy stops. On her left lies a giant teddy bear, a big red spot on its tummy and Amélie written in cursive on its foot. 

"It was big, twice your size! And you could poke its belly and it'd laugh or groan like an old man. Your father was so scared when it ran out of batteries. It sounded like a monster."

"Where is it now, mama?"

"Who knows? When Pierre and I moved here, it wouldn't fit anywhere. We had to leave it behind. I can only hope wherever it is, it's making someone happy."

"B-but... why? Why leave it behind? Why!"

"Your father was always... difficult. Since before we started dating, he's held everything to these high, impossible standards. Even himself. He'd allow no mistakes, no weaknesses. I – thought him hopeless, but one day I came home and guess what I found? A big, gaudy plushie with another woman's name on its foot. I – was – fuming. When he came home I flung it at his head and tore him a new one. But that's when I saw a new side of him. He fumbled through his explanation with tears in his eyes and a voice so frail and sincere. He couldn't have been cheating on me. He was just pure like that. A romantic goofball."

"That's so cute... but you didn't answer."

"...You really are your father's daughter. To be honest, I don't know. I adored that thing. I'd look at it every day and sigh, marvelling how something so silly earned my love. But, thinking about it, ten years have passed and I still remember this story. I suppose it was cute, but I prefer the feeling to the token. Besides, I've got another teddy bear in my life."

Amy touches the glass, blinking away tears. It's not often that she recalls her childhood, but when she does it's always bittersweet. Growing up she's always wanted a bear like that and she still does. If only to hug it and remind herself of moments she won't ever have again.

“Wait what?”

A clerk unties the clasps holding the plushie in place and takes it out of the display case. Amy returns to reality. She looks around, only to realise Mia's not with her. A crippling suspicion roots her in place, but she has to move. Maybe if she's quick enough, it won't –

"What are you doing?" Amy asks, entering the store. She tries sounding surprised, but she only manages a scared muttering. She can't help it. Mia's waiting by the register for the cashier to do something and Amy can't be more thankful for snail-like customer service.

Mia turns on her heels, twiddling her fingers, "Well... you seemed to like it, so... I thought it'd be a nice surprise."

Amy sweats, "That's so... nice! But you don't have to do it, haha..."

"But I want to."

"Oh, you shouldn't bother..."

"It's no bother."

"Really, don't buy this, haha..."

“Why not?”

Mia raises her hand, both Amy and the clerk pausing in surprise. Her face is serious, if a little disappointed.

"Why not?" she repeats, stressing every single sound.

"It's... expensive?" Amy tries.

"Try again."

"Too big?"

"And too fluffy and too cute. One attempt left."

Amy inhales, drawing in all her strength. "Because," I haven't earned it yet. But obviously, she can't tell Mia that. Amy might understand her, their shared anxieties, troubles and the masks they don, but the reverse doesn't apply. It shouldn't apply.

"Because – I'm dumb. You're doing something nice and I'm being a fart about it. Sorry..."

Amy's stomach cramps, but it's all worth it. At once, Mia brightens up. There's still some trouble brewing inside there, but that's a worry for another time. For now, she's happy and, because of that, Amy's happy as well. However, as soon as they exit the mall and head towards the bus station, Mia gasps.

"I forgot about your father!"

“Eh?"

"You... said he was a nosey, sceptical grouch. He'll go berserk when you show up with a hundred-pound, five foot teddy!"

Amy smiles, hiding her face in the bear's fur. It's such a small thing, but she's so adorably concerned about it. Even if her father would chew her up, it'd be worth it.

"Don't worry about it. He won't mind it."

"But you said –"

“I’ll tell him a friend bought it for me.”