Bloodless day

“I’m sorry Manami-san… Could you repeat that?”

“I need you to kill a group of people from my class <3”

Oh no… “Ma-Manami-san, are you sure we should be speaking about this here?? Isn’t it dangerous??”

“Dangerous?? Don’t worry, Butagami <3 Unlike your home, this place is completely safe.”

“My house? What happens with it?”

“Well. Those policemen placed some mics at your home on the first floor. I took care of them all, so they may suspect that you are indeed an assassin <3”

“Bu-but it wasn’t me!! It was Kira-san!!” Oh no… I’m definitely going to jail!!! Why isn’t Kira saying anything?? Didn’t he upgrade the mental coms?? He isn’t even talking in the regular way he does!! What is going on here??!!

“And now that I destroyed all of those mics they placed, I’m 100% sure that they will make you the main suspect <3”

“Oh no… what I’m going to do… what I’m going to do… what I’m going to do…”

“Oooohhh <3 Don’t be worried, Butagami. As long as you are by my side, I’ll protect you <3 Remember that we are friends. And friends help each other <3”

“But you said the police suspect on me… And they might be spying on us right now!!”

“I’m certain that they know that you are really the killer. Again, don’t worry. I’ll take care of this for you <3”

“But Manami-san!! You could get caught too!!!”

“BUTAGAMI!!!”

*BLAM*

GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Why did she have to slam the tables like that!!!

“Do you think that I’m a beginner?? I have everything under control. And on our upcoming school trip, we will dispel the suspicions on us <3”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“It’s a sur-pri-se <3”

*Wink*

Don’t tell me… She’s going to force me to kill someone. After that, she will take a video or something of me murdering them, and she will expose me on the internet and to the police. Then I’ll go to prison while she gains fame for capturing the assassin!!! I’m so stupid!!! Why is this happening to me!! I was being bullied at the start of the week and now I’m being blackmailed by the girl I was in love with!!! Someone please!! Save me!!

“Ma-Manami-san, I think we shouldn’t kill anyone else… hehe… It would be better if we just behave like regular students and…”

“Oi… Butagami… You said you would do anything I asked of you, right??”

*MURDEROUS STARE*

GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! What did I do to deserve this?? Sob,sob… “I will help you, Manami-san. But Kira only appears when he wants. I can’t control him. Please spare my life!!”

“Hahahahahaha!!! Relax Butagami. I’m not gonna kill you for the moment!!”

For the moment?? Someone help me… sob, sob…

“Don’t worry about your other personality <3 This time. you are the one who will be supporting me. I have it all prepared <3”

“T-then… I won’t need to kill anyone??”

“Not directly <3 But you will condemn their lives.”

*♪♪Ding, dong, ding, dong… Dong, ding, ding, dong♪♪*

“The classes are just about to begin!! I should be going now, Manami-san. With your permission.”

“Of course, Butagami <3 But remember, If you talk with someone about this, I will kill you.”

*BLOODTHIRSTY LOOK*

I don’t want to be with her anymore… sob, sob.

“See you at home later <3”

*Creak. Close*

“Don’t worry Kira <3 From now on, I’ll be the one who protects Butagami <3”

And so I left the student council office. Manami-sama knows about Kira-san, and it seems that she’s not bothered at all. Apparently, Kira and I saved her life somehow. She also wants me to help her take care of some students from her class. If I don’t do what she wants, then I’ll be dead meat. And if I help her, I will keep adding years in prison…

The police are behind me; my parents went to France till god knows when; a demon with the body and face of goddess Manami-sama wants to live with me; a psychopath alter personality is living inside me too… Man… things can’t be worse, right? RIGHT???!!! Please!!! Someone answer me!!!

****

The classes were over. Butagami left alone and went to his home. At that moment, both inspectors, Yamazaki and Kaizaki, arrived at the Sakuragami academy.

“Then, inspector Yamazaki. I will run the interrogations while you find field evidence. Is that okay?”

*SSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

“Em… Excuse me, sir… Are you listening to me??”

“Oh!! Matsumito!! What are you doing here?? How did you get here??”

I CAME WITH YOU IN THE SAME CAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “Well I was the one driving our vehicle, sir.”

“Ah… Aren’t you too young to drive?”

Calm down, Kaizaki… You can’t kill him… But how the hell did this guy become the best detective in Japan?? He’s so naive and incoherent!! The other day, he took some dirty female underwear from a student's laundry room; he put on fake mics on the first floor; he keeps sucking on lollipops even if he’s a 56 old man; and he paused the investigation after he stated that Oshino-san and that girl were the assassins. He’s so stravagant, and till now, I haven't seen him resolve a single case. When I transferred here, I was sure that he was the legendary detective that solved those impossible cases throughout the world… but now… “Sir, I’m 22.”

“Eh?? Ah!! What took you so long to answer? Were you having an internal monologue or something? I don’t care about that anymore.”

Anyway… I’ll just handle it as best as I can. “Excuse me, sir, but why are you sucking on a lollipop now?? Is there blood somewhere?? Have you found something??”

“No. This is a green lollipop. When a 16-year-old girl studying in a high school disappears while the moon is in his Waning Gibbous phase, the temperature is 18ºC, I wear my brown suit, while I’m placed 2 meters from the side of the co-pilot seat…”

HOW MANY THINGS ARE YOU GONNA SAY!!!!??????????? THAT IS VERY SPECIFIC!!!!

“… while I’m at this academy, I feel the urge to suck a green lollipop.”

“I see… then, I’ll go to interrogate the teachers and the people who saw her for the last time. With your permission.” Inspector Yamazaki seemed so focused and his words sounded so deep while he said all that crap. Even if he behaves in such an extravagant way and acts like a senile grandpa, I still have hope that he really is the best detective in Japan.

*SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP*

NEVERMIND!!!

“Aaaah… Coming here really brings memories back… This apple lollipop tastes like shit.”

****

I arrived home. I was alone. I didn’t know when Manami-sama would arrive. I started to check if any of the knives were missing or if there was any poison in the cabinets. There was nothing suspicious. Also, I looked everywhere for mics but I found none.

Manami-sama really took all those mics she talked about. It might have been a lie… Hey Kira!! Are you there?? Can you hear me??

…

…

How strange… He’s been silent since I spoke with Manami-sama. Well. Aside from this morning, I didn’t get any death threats. But it is rare for him to be so silent. Did something happen when he spoke with Mana…

*BLAM!!!*

“I’M HOME!!! BUTAGAMIIIIIII <3”

“KYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

*BAM*

“Butagami?? What happened?? You fell to the floor!! Are you okay??”

“Yes, Manami-san. I just tripped on something. Hehe.”

“What?? Should I burn down this house to get rid of the thing that made you trip?”

Eh?

“Where do you store the lighters, Butagami??”

“STOP!! Don’t burn my house!!!”

“Eh?? But it hurt you.”

“I’m fine!! Look!!”

“I see. Then!! I’ll start making our dinner <3”

What is wrong with Manami-sama!! She was so kind the last 2 years. So well behaved. She helped the teachers, fed the poor… This is not the Manami-sama I wanted to marry!!

Then Manami-san… Are you planning to sleep here today too?”

“Of course <3 I’ll live with you until your parents come back!! I can’t let my saviors unprotected!!”

“Erm… Manami-san… May I know why You call us your savers?? You said that we saved you, but you didn’t tell me why.”

“No.”

Eh? She won’t tell me just like that?? “I see, hehehe. Then would you like to tell me something about your plan for next week's school trip?”

*BLAM*

*INTENSE STARE*

“I told you this morning. It’s a secret.”

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Why does she have to make that face while she holds that knife???!!! I better shut up when she’s preparing the dinner. “I’M SORRY MANAMI-SAN!!! I look forward to your surprise!!!

“That’s better <3”

And so Manami-sama prepared our dinner. After a silent dinner, because I was too scared to say anything to her, I went to my bedroom while she cleaned the dishes.

Thinking about it, today was one of the most normal days I’ve had since Kira appeared… speaking of which… Kira has been silent all day. I guess that since I’m not being threatened to death, he’s just relaxing and upgrading our body somehow… Man, these muscles are really something else. I was a fat whale at the start of the week. But now I’m like those muscular guys and women who pose. What was their name?? I can’t remember.

“Anyway!!! Time for the bath!!!”

*STEP, STEP, STEP*

“Manami-san!!! I’m going first to take a bath!!” Mmh?? Where is she?? I couldn’t find her and she’s not even answering… The bathroom door is open, so she may have prepared the bath for me and went outside for something?? Anyway!! I better be fast before she comes back!!

“All set! Let me grab a towel and…”

*RASH*

Eh?

“Oh!!! Butagami <3 Come in!! The temperature of the water is perfect!!

I couldn't see anything when I was outside because of the bathroom door glass. I opened it, and when I looked inside, Manami-sama was submerged in the bathtub under the bubbles made from the salt bombs we had.

UABISYAWBEIYTAWGY/YBWAWBGYTWGeI!!!!!!?==”?Q))=??!)))!)??)IEAPWE)U()”!!!!!!!

*BAM*

“Butagami!! You tripped again?? I knew I needed to burn this house!!”

“MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA-MA…”

“Sigh… You virgins are a real pain in the neck. Come on, Butagami, just relax.”

“I’M SORRY MANAMI-SAN!!!”

*RASH*

*BLAM*

“Eh?? Butagami <3 You don’t need to be so shy. We can share the bathtub if you want. Or if you prefer, I can come out now. Look.”

From the other side of the translucent crystal door, just the figure of Manami-sama getting up from the bathtub could be seen. I turned around as soon as I saw that.

“NO!!!”

“Uhm??”

“There’s no need for it!!! I’ll wait outside until you finish!!!”

“Eeehh?? Are you sure?? You will never have an opportunity like this. Having a pretty and sexy high school girl in your bathtub telling you to enter to rub your back and maybe more <3”

“I-I-I’m sure!!!”

“Is that so…?? But I could see under your towel that you really wanted to enter <3”

She… saw it!!! “GYAAAAaaaaahhhh… !!!”

“And he’s gone. He’s so predictable <3 I have him where I wanted. We won’t be seeing each other again for a while, Kira.”

*Smirk*

****

After Manami-sama came out, I went to take my bath. After that, I dressed up and prepared to apologize to her before going to sleep.

“So Manami-san… I’m sorry for what happened in the bathroom before!!! I promise I didn't see anything!!! The bubbles and the steam wouldn’t let me see anything!!”

“Eeeehh?? So you looked <3”

“W-we-well I-I-I-I lo-oo-ked but I-I-I-t was accidentally!! I promise!!!”

“Hahahahaha!! Don’t worry, Butagami <3 I don’t care if you saw me or not. If you want, you can come to sleep with me <3”

*BAM*

“Butagami. You should stop tripping in your own home.”

“Ye-yeah. You are right, Manami-san. He-he-hehehe… Then… Is there something I could help you with? Do you need help to prepare for next Monday's school trip?”

“Don’t worry about it. I have it all planned and prepared for the school trip <3 Look!! I took all my clothes and gadgets to move here!!”

“Ooooh!!” How could she have carried those 10 travel suitcases on one trip just by herself?? Also, why didn’t I see them till now??!!

“Oh yeah!! Look what I bought for us, Butagami <3”

Mmmhh?? She bought me something?? What might it be?? A jacket?? No way… We aren’t a couple. Since we are friends, it may be some kind of wristband… Or maybe… He bought me a knife to kill her classmates… Oh… I think I’m gonna pass out… No. Fake alarm. I won’t.

“Taraaaan!!! Matching face masks!!!”

“Eeeeh?? White plain face masks? What are they for?”

“Isn’t it obvious?? It’s for us to kill on the school trip <3 Like the dear friends we are <3”

Of course.
Someone, help me.
Now.
Oshino Butagami.

****

Meanwhile, the Sakurashi police investigator duo reflected on what they researched earlier at the Sakuragami academy. Not in the office, but in an oden street stall.

“Then… are you sure about that, Yamazaki-san??”

“Yes, I do.”

“But this could be our chance to confirm if they are not the assassins!! Why would you let this opportunity slip!! According to the principal, that girl called Ai, convinced them not to cancel their course’s school trip!! It’s obvious that she is hiding something!! I checked it and we are breaking the protocol about missing people. We need to follow that girl and Butagami first to confirm your theory!! Why can’t we just follow them??!!”

“So you really think that I’m a senile old man, right, Matsumito?? Listen!!! Because I have a really good reason this time for not following them!!

*STARE*

*OTHER ANGLE INTENSE STARE*

*MORE INTENSE STARE FROM A BOTTOM ANGLE*

…

…

“A… a… are you sure about that???!!!! Yamazaki-san!!! That is impossible!!! Explain it carefully!!” Just when I thought he would make another joke while he stared at me with that serious face, he goes with this crazy explanation about the murderers!!! I barely understood it. I need to make him speak again!!!

“He!!! So you finally want to hear my explanations. Then, listen carefully, because I won’t repeat myself!!!

*GULP*

*The secret for a good oden is…”

NOT THAT EXPLANATION AGAIN!!!!