Chapter 13:

The Sweeper Bargains, part two

Work, Please! ~From World's Greatest Sweeper to the Far Future's Salaryman~


Kuroiwa’s motorcycle engine purred as he cruised the nearly empty streets of Neo Shibuya before daybreak. Riding behind him was Chigusa, clinging to him, pressing herself onto him as to not fall. And Shiyuri… as for her, a rope bound her to the bike’s front like a figurehead strapped to the bow of a ship. Her hands and feet were restrained with a healthy dose of rope and her hair tied into a ponytail hung on her front; Chigusa made sure her hair wouldn’t be churned by the bike’s wheels.

It has only been less than ten minutes since they knocked Shiyuri out, but she had already awoken at half that time.

“I’m amazed your old fuel bike could carry two damsels and the prince without crumbling.” mused Shiyuri, who had already begun to sass for the past five minutes.

Kuroiwa kept his eyes on the road as he responded, “You’d be surprised what this thing could carry even back then,” he said while maintaining a speed that would not strain the motorcycle’s engine. “And back then, no AI assistant would artificially stop the engine the moment you exceeded the weight limit.”

“But Mister Kuroiwa,” said Chigusa from behind. “The assistant is simply making sure you never strain the bike and decrease the engine longevity.”

“I get that. But sometimes you just gotta push something to the limit, even if it kills it.”

Chigusa scratched her head. “I don’t get why you would do that. But okay, it seems things were truly done differently in your day.”

“When you put it like that, it makes me sound like an old man…”

The scenery of Neo Shibuya passed them at a relaxed pace. Not a single pedestrian even took a second glance at Shiyuri hoisted up on a man’s bike despite passing some by as they went. Were they just uncaring? Apathetic? Or was this the least weird thing the average Neo Shibuyan would see in a typical waking day? Kuroiwa couldn’t tell.

Shiyuri wriggled, making herself more comfortable.

“So where are we going, oh my dear Sensei?” she asked, tilting her head back. “Are you taking me back to your place? Are you going to ravish me?” she said as her voice became mockingly hoarse, “Oh, and you’re taking Code Reader to watch, too? Or does Code Reader come installed with a surprise that’ll let her have some fun, too?”

Kuroiwa groaned. “I hate that I understood every single thing you said,” he said with disdain. “Stop sounding like a massive perv.”

“Sensei! And who’s the man who brought rope for the specific purpose of tying a girl down?”

“Oh, the rope. Actually…”

Kuroiwa didn’t want to implicate Chigusa in anything.

Chigusa peeked over Kuroiwa’s side. “Miss Shiyuri,” she called out, interrupting their train of thought. “I still wanna know why you’re Nekolain and why you’re doing… you know.. I… I haven’t heard you out yet.”

Shiyuri giggled. “You’re still hung up on that?”

“Yes.”

Shiyuri giggled even more. “Oh, my sweet summer child.”

She focused on the road, then up into the sky. She tried to make out the stars in the sky even through the bright lights the city center in the distance radiated. It would usually be impossible to make out a single celestial body, but with the residential areas dimming their lights, there she made out a single star.

“Code Reader. Why do birds fly?”

Chigusa pushed a finger up her chin, and answered with gusto. “That’s simple! Because they can.”

“Heh,” she smirked. “I see.”

“Hold on. What was that about, Miss Shiyuri? I thought you were gonna answer me…”

“If you fail to understand the sentiment, then that’s on you.”

Kuroiwa steered the bike through a sharp turn. Shiyuri shook and Chigusa tightened her grip, pressing her chest even deeper into Kuroiwa’s back. Kuroiwa remained composed, even if the sensation bothered him immensely. He straightened out the bike and kept driving in a line.

Shifting the conversation again, Kuroiwa decided to ask Shiyuri his own question.

“Let’s ask you a question you can’t sidestep with a philosophy class,” he said sternly. “What possessed you to try and cap my friend in the head?”

“But you haven’t answered me yet, Sensei. You haven’t said where you’re taking me.” chided Shiyuri.

“We’re getting nowhere. You keep deflecting questions with more questions. Can you give us a straight answer for once?”

“Has your perception finally cleared?” chuckled Shiyuri. “That perhaps you’ve finally understood that I’m obfuscating you lot?”

Kuroiwa was reaching his limit. His blood pressure shot up and he didn’t know how much he could take from Shiyuri's antics. He had the good mind to cut the rope and just leave her on the street to ramble all night long; but he and Chigusa have a wanted criminal on the literal ropes, and he wasn’t ready to just release her just yet.

At least, not while she wasn’t in police custody.

“Fine,” Kuroiwa scoffed. “You don’t respond to any threat I’ve levied against you. You’re a tough girl, I get it. Now…”

“You’ve finally noticed, oh my dear Sensei. You cannot break me.”

“I’m going to touch your boobs.”

“What?!” The girl reacted with shock.

“Here it comes.”

Kuroiwa placed a hand on her shoulder and caressed it—though he wasn’t in any way sensual. Shiyuri on the other hand, quivered from just a simple touch. She couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle the thought of a man laying a hand on her in this way—while bound, as well. Kuroiwa massaged her shoulder and slowly moved forward, reluctance still holding him back. This was never something he’d do to any woman, and his inexperience with it did put some reservations in his mind.

“M-Mister Kuroiwa, please!” Chigusa tried for his attention. “This is way too lewd for you to do in public! M-might I suggest taking this to Kabukicho 2nd?”

Come on, stop me! This is sexual harassment!, he thought, almost like he was begging for Chigusa to stop him.

“N-no, stop!” cried out the tied-down Shiyuri.

“You can’t stop me.”

“No, please! Sensei!” she said while squirming, even though Kuroiwa wasn’t moving his hand anywhere at all. “I wanted my first time to be after a candlelit dinner, then after a walk down a private beach, then in a small hut that we rented for the weekend, and then, we…”

“Where’d all that bravado go? You looked just about ready to jump me in the laundromats.”

“I wasn’t! I was just trying to—”

“Then answer the question!”

“I will!”

Kuroiwa let go of her shoulder and placed it firmly back onto the bike’s handlebars. He sighed and sigh of relief that he didn’t have to go any further than what he had done. To him, it still felt like crawling through a mire, staining his honor like that. He kept his gaze affixed on the road, even though he wanted to look at Chigusa and what kind of expression she had on this entire time.

“Mister Kuroiwa. I didn’t know you could be so daring. And lewd.” said Chigusa with a weird enthusiasm in her voice. He could reply with a ‘I wasn’t trying to do anything’, but voicing that out would give away his intent, and would most likely put both he and Chigusa on the back foot of ‘negotiations’ again.

“Uh, sure…” he replied with a great deal of reluctance.

“Anyway,” continued Kuroiwa, turning his attention back to the lady strapped to his bike. “Now, answer the question. Why were you trying to shoot Chigusa back there?”

Shiyuri didn’t answer. Kuroiwa noticed that she would turn her head side to side, and each time her lips would curl into a pout.

Oh great.

The situation went from ‘belligerent and combative’ hostage to just ‘embarrassed and upset’ hostage.

Not good.

“Hey now…”

Shiyuri cut him off and answered while looking forward and refraining from looking at Kuroiwa in any way. Her eyes reddened with shame and head bowed with dejection.

“Why’re you so worried about her, anyway?” she answered. “It’s not like she'll die for real. She’s a Code Reader. She dies, and you’ll see her again tomorrow. She won’t get memory wiped or have her behavioral coding changed. So what’s the big deal?”

“That kinda logic is—”

“She’s right, Mister Kuroiwa.” said Chigusa in a solemn tone. “It’s not really a big deal for us.”

“But you were scared, weren’t you, Chigusa.”

“I was. It was the first time anyone’s pointed a gun at me. Everyone said it would hurt, so I was afraid of the pain…”

“You see, sensei?” Shiyuri said in a low voice. “It's all just a game for us. You wouldn’t understand.”

Kuroiwa clicked his tongue. He gripped the handlebars and squeezed them in frustration. He slowed the bike’s speed, trying to make sense of their twisted words.

He boomed his voice, trying to sound stern. “What do you mean ‘game’? Death isn’t a game, Nekolain.”

Shiyuri laughed with a haughty disposition. “And that’s why I do what I do. Everyone just lives day to day without the fear of death. But death is fun. Just imagine having the choice to reset your life and start over, or coming back the next day with new parts replacing the old? So you lose a tooth in fight club? Die, and you get a whole new set of teeth.”

“That’s…”

“Neo Shibuyans work, work, and work. They have no goal. They have no purpose. Just live until you reset,” said Shiyuri. “So make it a little exciting. Die early. Start a new life. It’s like… like a video game. You do play video games, right, Sensei?”

“But, Miss Shiyuri, when you do that,” retorted Chigusa. “It takes money. The citizen has to be indebted to something or someone if they cannot pay upfront from their bank account in the network.”

“So what?” replied Shiyuri. “Then just work it off. You spend, what, five years? Maybe a decade paying off the debt? What’s the worry? You literally have forever, Code Reader. Not that you’d get it, since you get rebuilds for free.”

Chigusa’s mood soured and her expression darkened. “I… I didn’t kill you because I was scared that you’d be in debt to some corporation you don’t even know or care about.”

The girl chortled. “Big mistake. You pitied a wanted criminal. You’ll regret that decision one day.”

Kuroiwa interrupted. “Death isn't a game, Nekolain.”

“I heard you the first time, Sensei.” scolded Shiyuri. “You don’t see it that way, but we do.”

“What do you mean ‘we’? I hear Chigusa treating it more seriously than you are. And so do hundreds and thousands of your ilk.”

“And I’m supposed to hear that from a career marksman and killer back in his hayday?”

Kuroiwa glanced at the gun holstered at his hip. The M206 38, six-chambered revolver. His trusted friend, and sole reminder of days long gone. “You’ll never understand. Every kill I made mattered. There was weight.”

Chigusa’s eyes opened, nonplussed. “Y-you’re a hitman?”

Kuroiwa sighed. “...I’m just a simple salaryman now.”

“But you’re not doing paperwork…”

Shiyuri swayed her legs playfully. “Even the kills you’ve made recently?”

“You’re the one who said it’s not a big deal.”

“Then that makes you a hypocrite, Sensei.”

Kuroiwa rode in silence. He didn’t have any reply, witty response, or violent reaction to Shiyuri. It just was. The reply was what it was. The sweeper didn’t feel entitled to deny her claim that he was, in fact, a hypocrite. Words that stung. A sentence that rang true. All he could utter was one answer:

“Hypocrisy is human.”

Shiyuri answered arrogantly, “Then I’m happy not being ‘human’ by your standards.”

Chigusa frowned and embraced Kuroiwa tenderly while still wrapping her arms around his waist to not fall off the bike. “I-I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re both getting sour over something I brought up.”

“Don’t apologize!” both Kuroiwa and Chigusa said in a panic to calm the young lass down.

“I mean…” said Shiyuri meekly. “It’s only natural for us to be sour. I am Nekolain, after all.”

“Yeah, what she said,” said Kuroiwa. “She’s a terrorist. It’s normal that we hate each other’s guts. She tried to kill you, after all.”

“But—”

“Seriously, Code Reader,” said Shiyuri, attempting a facepalm if only her hands weren’t tied down. “The way you’re still sparing your almost-killer quarter is bizarre. I think that, perhaps, you are a more perplexing being than the gorilla on the driver’s seat.”

“Oh, so I’m a gorilla now?” snapped Kuroiwa with powerful venom in his voice.

“Yeah. Because you’re a hundred-some years behind human evolution.”

“Oh really? Maybe I should start driving like one too.”

Kuroiwa steered left, then right, then left again in rapid succession. The bike wobbled and everyone on-board swayed side to side, nearly falling off the ride.

“Mister Kuroiwa! Please calm down!”

“Yeah, your girlfriend’s still hanging on, you damn ape!”

“I’m not his girlfriend!” Chigusa denied, blushing from the thought of even having a partner.

“Oh. I was talking about me… teehee.”

The girls kept yelling as he drove like a drunkard and took Shiyuri and, consequently, Chigusa for a ride. He sped up and revved the engine, driving the bike to as fast a speed as possible, and as safe as possible with three people on board—especially one tied to the front. They were surprisingly light, considering their mechanical makeup.

Then it stopped.

Kuroiwa looked ahead as a red and blue light from down the street began to approach them. It didn’t seem to be heading towards them specifically, but rather was bound to cross their path in a moment. A police cruiser with its siren off but their lightbar radiating its light like a lighthouse in the midst of a foggy sea. The car was clearly one of the patrols looking out for Nekolain and any accomplices she may have.

He had no intention of surrendering her to the authorities. Not these ones, at least.

“What’s wrong, Mister Kuroiwa?”

“Shit…” he muttered under his breath. He glanced back at Chigusa and answered, “We have to take a detour.”

“We can just have them take in Nekolain, right?”

Kuroiwa dissuaded her and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but, I can’t. Not these guys.”

“That’s a surprise,” said Shiyuri in a cocky voice. “And here I thought you were randomly driving around, hoping to turn me in to the next patrol you run into.”

“I was planning to take you to my workplace. I was gonna keep you there and have some good friends pass judgment on you rather than some rando I don’t trust.”

“Friends?”

“A Security Knight, and a girl with the biggest crush on her. And a lawyer.”

Shiyuri gulped while also trying to retain her arrogant facade. “My, my. What a colorful web of connections you have…”

“You sound amazed. Was there something you didn’t know about me after all?”

“I-I already told you. I know what I know, and that’s everything.”

Chigusa replied, genuinely astonished with Kuroiwa’s connections. “You have friends of that caliber? That’s really cool! I wish I had something like that.”

Kuroiwa sighed. There were decisions to be made and actions to be taken before the patrol pulls them over, and the ride ends on a downer. Scanning the street, he discerned that taking a sharp right now should take them out of the patrol’s line of sight. With Hypersense, he made out a few more patrol cars within a mile. Whatever detour he had to make, it had to be somewhere they could hide out for an hour or two—maybe even until sunbreak and a few hours after.

“Hang tight, girls. I know a place.”

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