The Bad Date Song

You said that this shit should be over
But now I’m drinking lemon cola
And watching Mia Malkova
You said this shit should be over now
But now I sit here watching Mia Malkova

It started out fine, like the rest, fine dining drinking wine
You said your ex-girlfriend didn’t treat you right
I made a joke, I said that I would treat you left
But maybe that’s the issue with the stuff we only say in jest

As the food goes down, you say you like my style
And that’s the nicest thing someone told me in a little while
We take a fast car back to my shit apartment
You say that casual flings aren’t really your department

You take a step forward and come into my shop
Put your hands all around and say you like me a lot
In a matter of moments, you’re kissing my face
Hey, wait! We only just got here, this isn’t a race

You take a step back and just cock your head
Okay, maybe that isn’t the thing I should have said
You grab your keys and lodge them into your hand
Screaming “Fuck you, I just wanted a one-night stand”

Sorry miss, I don’t want to reprimand you
But isn’t this my house that you just walked into?
I get the feeling you’re about to attack me
Despite the fact I’ve walked back at least three feet

Please, just grab your things and fucking leave
Not seeing your face would be my only fucking reprieve
You loosen your grip and twirl your keys around your finger
I stick my hand up, promptly giving you the finger
Don’t linger, you open up your mouth
And say the five little words that the song is all about

You said that this shit should be over
But now I’m drinking lemon cola
And watching Mia Malkova
You said this shit should be over now
But now I sit here watching Mia Malkova