The Pirate Returns to his Princess

Once he saw Kimiko sleeping on the couch again, Makoto wracked his brain for what the hell was wrong with him. Any other woman would have gotten a lame excuse and a lie if pressed. But Kimiko? He knew he couldn't stomach telling her anything but the truth, and it felt like the wrong time to do that now. Why'd she have to be so sweet?

He made sure she had her blanket covering her and a bottle of water nearby before going to bed himself.

Sundown came quicker than he'd expected. He followed the leads Tatsuya gave him at the cost of his free time. Makoto wasn't surprised that most of these leads brought him to any place that sold liquor. A close second was the flashing lights and chiming bells of casinos that lured the feet of those who danced on the rope between hoping and not.

Sundown came quicker than he'd expected. Transitions filled with taxi cabs and confused faces.

"Do you remember Terrada, Kenta?"

"Oh him, he owes me money!"

"Never heard of him."

"I thought he was dead?"

"Sorry, never seen ‘im."

Terrada, Kenta. Makoto’s father, might as well have been a ghost.

After yet another dead end, instead of leaving the bar, Makoto took a seat on a barstool and ordered a drink. It was getting late again and he’d been surviving off of convenience store food all day. He took a swig of his drink, then stared at the glass in front of him. He didn’t even notice the girl eyeing him in the next seat.

Her straight bangs highlighted her sharp eyes and matched her needle-point hair.

“Lonely?” She asked, her voice as smooth as the drink she ordered.

Makoto knew how this would usually go. The way it had gone for years. He'd turn to her with a sly look, matching the kind of person he’d suppose a woman like her would find attractive. He’d say something like, “Only for the moment.” Not too desperate, nor too aloof.

She’d giggle and touch his arm.

He’d buy her another drink.

She’d accept or play coy. Banter, shallow topics, pretending to be in love. A one-week fling until they got bored, or a derailment that led to a three-week mess.

Instead, his hands cupped the empty glass in front of him, staring out into nothing.

The woman beside him crossed her legs, a subtle gesture to show off her bare leg peeking through the long slit of her black dress. “Come now, don’t be so dull. I didn’t wear this dress to be bored.”

It hit him like the sharp glass of a bottle to the head. A dart finally hitting the bullseye. The look this woman gave him, the look that his former flings and temporaries had always given him.

What can I take from you? What will you give me? Make me happy.

A reverberation of emotion cascaded through his chest.

Kimiko’s face when they first met… it wasn’t anything like that.

I want to return the joy you give to me.

If he weren’t such a stonewall of emotion whenever it was real, he might have broken down. Kimiko was everything he was chasing and everything he was avoiding all wrapped up in a bundle of sugar.

And like a child given a precious vase and told not to drop it... Makoto was terrified.

Having not gotten a reaction out of him, the woman rolled her eyes and turned her attention elsewhere.

Before, Makoto would have scrambled to get that attention back.

Now, he walked out the door.

~ The Following Night ~

Thin, baby blue fabric stretched across the magic screen that rested on the low table. It draped over to the back of the small couch and covered the matching green rug on the floor. The young woman sat, comforted by her new items. Pretty erasers shaped like food, adorable plushies and trinkets. Her little cove of a castle was filled with her favorite snacks and comfort items from her childhood.

The self-made princess remembered when she used to have sleepovers with her friend. Tora and her would watch the same girly movie every time. Now she watched something else though. It didn't feel right to watch the other one without her.

Still, Kimiko felt safe and comfy. She wore a big t-shirt that covered her knees and tiny shorts while she ate some cookies. She felt okay eating a snack after her shopping trip had pepped her up a bit.

She heard the apartment door open. Makoto came home. Her heart felt like it had jolted out of the depths and back on land. She wanted to rush out and hug him, but she didn’t want to look desperate. Besides, what if he didn't want to talk to her?

Instead, she hugged her big fluffy rabbit and snuggled down into the pillows as she watched her show. She could hear Makoto take off his shoes, then go into the bedroom. Her heart dropped even though she'd tried so hard not to let it.

Was he really not going to say hello?

Some time passed. Then, she heard him outside the curtain!

"Knock knock." Makoto said, his voice somewhat timid, not knowing if she'd be cross with him. "I know the sign says "Kimiko's Castle" but I have pressing matters to discuss with the princess."

Kimiko's head popped out like a daisy poking through the snow. Her big green eyes were the first thing Makoto saw. Her orange hair was a little fuzzy from the blankets.

"Hm?" Her face held innocence yet the subtlety was not lost on Makoto. The way her mannerisms had been a tad too quick, her eyes a bit too sharp, and her expression withheld her usual warmth. She was more distrusting of him now, not that he blamed her.

"You can come in for a little bit." She decided, then ducked back inside.

If Makoto wasn't in such trouble he might have chuckled at how cute she was even when mad. The women he'd dated had cursed him out or thrown things at him for smaller offenses, or no real offense at all. Kimiko's version of "punishment" was only allowing him inside her tent for "a little while". The girl was so sweet he wondered if she was made of shortbread.

Gently, he parted the curtain so as not to ruin yet another thing for her. Then he carefully crawled inside and sat next to her. The glow of the TV lit the little queendom along with a few pretty lights. Kimiko herself was surrounded by some new items he assumed she must have bought recently.

Kimiko handed him a magnetic cube to fiddle with and he held it in his lap while she looked at the screen instead of him.

After a few moments of silence, Makoto spoke up, hoping to break the tension bit by bit. "You um… like the movie Cute Escape, too?"

Kimiko shrugged halfway, and that alone seemed to be an effort for her. Makoto's heart hurt from seeing her so deflated. He had to make this better somehow.

"I'm sorry I left without saying anything." He said.

She kept her eyes on the screen. "It's fine."

Makoto looked down at the trinket in his hand, it was painted with little pictures of fish. "But it's not." He said, then looked at Kimiko again. "I should have texted you back."

Kimiko sighed, although the breath didn't stop her voice from shaking. "Then why didn't you?"

Makoto inhaled deeply, hoping to ease the tension building in his throat, but barely succeeding. "I don't know." He moved the cube into a shape as he thought, then stopped. "I mean… I guess I do know, but those reasons don't matter. What matters is that I hurt you."

Kimiko shook her head, trying to deny it at first before finding it futile. She brought her knees up to her chest at the same time that she brought her t-shirt down over her knees. "But I shouldn't feel hurt." She wrapped her arms around her legs in a hug. "We barely know each other."

"I wouldn't say that exactly. After all, we live together, and I said we could be friends while we're here, so-"

"While we're here?"

"Well-" He looked anxious then and rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know what'll happen."

Kimiko blinked a few times then looked back at the TV, her chin resting on her knees. "Oh."

Makoto realized that he was making things worse. "I'm sorry. I should just go." He said, his voice dejected. Makoto made a motion to leave her be, but he felt a tug at his shirt. Stopping, he saw her fingers curled around the cloth, holding him while she looked at the movie.

"Kimiko…"

Her fingers curled a bit tighter.

Makoto sat back down beside her. "Why do you even like me? I'm…" He couldn't even finish his sentence. As he looked down, he felt her head lean against his shoulder, still looking at the TV.

"My friend." She said.

"I can't promise-"

"Always."

The strain to withold his emotions escaped through red, glossy eyes. Yet, he wouldn't allow it to go further than that.

"You don't have to tell me what happened while you were gone if you don't want to.” Kimiko said. “I’m just glad that you’re back now.”

Makoto fiddled with the toy in his hand as he spoke to her. “I went to see my mother.”

“Did it go well?”

“Not exactly.” Makoto responded, then waited a moment, expecting Kimiko to push him to say more, but she didn't. “And I went to see my father too, or, well, I tried.”

“What happened?”

“He uh-”

Was too busy saving the world, always busy my dad!

He stopped by to give me a treasure map but then he had to set sail!

Dad forgot the way there, he’s always getting lost cuz of all the places he’s been.

“He didn’t want to show up.” Makoto said honestly.

Kimiko looked up at him then, and her gaze was a little too intense for him. Not harsh though, that wasn't her in the slightest. Rather... the way that she cared for him was great. Heavy like a thick blanket. A comfort he didn't feel brave enough or good enough to carry.

“That’s a shame." She said with sincerity. "I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t.”

It was such a simple phrase, but it was one he didn't realize he'd needed to hear. Not just the words, but how she said them. It would have been nice from almost anyone, but just like a different artist wielding the same brush, it was different coming from her.

He was worth showing up for, in her eyes.

Makoto wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug. She froze at first, a little shocked, but soon hugged him back.

“No matter what happens…" Makoto said, his warm hands holding her close. "I want you to know that you matter to me. Okay?"

Kimiko pulled away then and looked into his eyes a subtle fear mixed with worry. “But please don’t go…”

There they sat, looking into each other’s eyes with fear being the only thing coming in between them.

If I love then I will feel loss.

And if I love deeply then I fear falling to the depths.

Makoto smiled just a little, hoping to get her to smile too. He tapped her nose with his finger, making her pretty eyelashes flutter in surprise. “You’ll be alright. After this show, you’ll probably have a line of men out your door with rings in their pockets. You'll be wifed up before ya know it!” He winked.

Kimiko shook her head adamantly. “I don’t care. None of them will rescue me with pizza.” She pouted, arms crossed.

Makoto laughed at that. “Is that so?”

“Yeah!” She decided with a bubble of energy.

He ruffled her hair. Hearing her giggle made him want to make her smile even more to offset the sadness he'd caused her. “You’re sure there isn’t anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Hmm…” Kimiko tapped her chin in thought. “There is one thing you could do…”