Don't tell me who I am

Contemporary pop music played for a crowd of second-hand clothing items in a store. Beside Makoto was a Kimiko that was vibrating with excitement. He couldn’t help but smirk a bit at how cute she was.

“You're going to take me out to a fancy dinner tonight.” She reminded.

“Right.” Makoto agreed, remembering what she’d said the other night.

“But!” She said with a finger pointed up. “You’re gonna pick out my outfit and I’m gonna pick yours. Okay?” She said, pausing for a moment before she rambled on. “I saw a couple do this challenge online, and it was super cute.” She put her hands on her hips as she looked at the clothes in the store. Surveying the landscape like a general preparing for battle. “Now remember, don’t hold back! Be as creative as you want!”

“Got it.” Makoto said. “But uh, what’s your size?”

Kimiko rocked up on her tiptoes with her hands on his shoulders. She whispered her measurements into his ear. Then Makoto bent down a bit to do the same so she wouldn’t feel left out.

“Wow… so tall…” She said, looking up at him as if it was the first time realizing it. “I hope I can find something flashy for you.”

“Flashy?”

“One, two, three, go!” Kimiko announced, energy enough to race around a track, only to politely walk to the men’s section. “And don’t show me what you get!” She called out while walking backward, getting a few strange looks in the process, although she didn't notice.

Makoto chuckled with a shake of his head. Soon he combed through the racks for something decent enough in her size. He might as well have been shifting sand for gold though. The sand took the form of oversized clothing, odd prints, and outdated styles. So far, nothing fitting for a woman in her twenties. That was until he spotted a gem in the rough.

A sparkling glitter of ocean blue.

Perfect.

Next, he picked up a few more things to go with it. Once he'd purchased his treasures for her, he felt confident in his choices.

"Hey Makoto!" She called out, then skipped over to him with a rustle of bags all around her.

“Ah-ha..." He laughed with a lopsided smile. "Do you want me to hold some of those?” He asked, then reached for a bag, only for her to twirl to the side. The bags crinkled around her.

“No peeking!”

“I won’t peek, I promise.” He said, receiving a side look from green eyes before she gave in and handed him the bags.

Makoto didn’t know why he felt so nervous that evening. Kimiko made sure to say it was a “play-date”, not a real one, but somehow it felt real. Maybe deep down he wanted it to be, and that was what actually made him nervous.

“You ready?!” Kimiko called out from the bathroom. Her call prompted Makoto to emerge from the tent. It was another loophole they'd found to have some privacy from the cameras. Thus, it became a new staple to the apartment.

“Ready!” Makoto said. He hadn’t looked at himself in the mirror yet but uh… she’d definitely chosen a unique set of items.

He heard the door click open with a few shaky steps out. The moment she came into view, his palms became sweaty. Bit by bit, the threads on the chord anchoring his heart away from her snapped and made him weak in the knees.

Kimiko’s hair flowed in a cascaded swirl to the side, pretty pins of ocean life adorning it. The dress fit her more perfectly than he could have hoped, all along her elegant curves and petite frame. Her skin was glowing, pink lips and matching cheeks with a shy expression. White heels covered her small feet. 

“I hope I look alright. I don’t usually wear things so… attention grabbing.” She said with a timid smile, tucking her hair back before taking a cautious step closer to him. Her tongue stuck out to the side in concentration, staring at her feet. Makoto's attention was instead caught by the flutter caused by the two slits that exposed either side of her legs.

“You look… stunning, Kimiko.” Makoto encouraged, forgetting what he was wearing until the red feather on his hat drooped in front of his eye. He had to use a puff of air to put it back in place.

"Thank you." She said, the warmth of his compliment sustaining the blush on her cheeks.

As Kimiko came closer, her usual pitter-patter motion was not quite used to heels. It was more like a train trying to chug along without falling over. 

“I um… may have gone a bit overboard.” She said with guilt as she looked over his outfit. “I liked all the pieces on their own so I thought that they would look nice together.” She said, cringing at her own shortcomings.

“Hey, I’m sure it looks fine! Let’s go see.” Makoto encouraged with a smile. He let her hold on to him as they walked to the bedroom. Kimiko looked on from the outside since her shoes were on.

In the reflection of the full-length mirror, Makoto saw his appearance in all its glory. A blue-haired man with a dark green archers cap on his head, a red feather stuck to the side of it. His blazer was dark blue with an inside panel of a chess board, while his button-down shirt was white with swirls of a bubble pattern. His pants were pinstripe grey. For now, he wore grey socks, but he had sparkling red shoes to go with it.

When he looked back at Kimiko, her eyes were wide with worry, her hands clasped together in front of her. “I’m sorry! It’s terrible isn’t it?” She said with a nervous laugh. “Um! It’s okay, maybe you can just wear something you already-”

“It's perfect.” Makoto decided with a snap of his fingers, ignoring the atrocity to fashion he was.

Kimiko blinked a few times, the shock bringing her out of her anxiety. “R-Really? Because I’ll understand if you don’t want to wear it.”

Makoto walked over to her. His forearm leaned against the doorway, one leg crossed over the other, with a suave smile as he looked at her. “I’m the only one who could make this work, that’s why you picked it out for me right?” He said, lifting her chin up with his index finger to tilt her gaze to look into his eyes. He moved his hand to cross his arms, but Kimiko remained exactly as he'd positioned her.

Suddenly, Kimiko’s stomach felt like a grove for butterflies. “I-I, yes, I mean. Um.” She giggled shyly and turned away from him.

“Alright then, let’s get going princess.”

The restaurant was busier than expected, and when eyes weren’t on Kimiko and her beauty, they were on the ridiculously confident man with her. They sat across from each other at a cozy booth. It was much like their first date all over again, laughing and chatting about nothing and everything.

That was, until…

“I almost didn’t recognize you without a pizza box in your hand.” The low, formal voice of Daichi interrupted their date.

“Who are you?” Makoto asked, so convincing, that his deadpan sarcasm was almost lost on Kimiko.

Daichi opened his mouth to speak but Kimiko interrupted before he could get a word out. “Hi Daichi, um we’re kinda busy right now.”

“Yes, much like the pattern on the inside of his jacket.” Daichi scoffed.

Kimiko looked worried again and leaned towards Makoto, “Is it really that busy?” She asked in a near whisper.

Makoto shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.” He assured then leaned back again, unbothered.

Daichi rolled his eyes then looked at Kimiko. “Did you get my flowers?”

“Flowers?” She repeated, a small thump as she sat back. “Um… I don’t think so.”

“Your apartment is 221 right?”

“Oh… sorry I must have gotten mixed up. It’s 212.”

The irritation was plain on his face. “You- ” He stopped himself, his heated tone cut short. Fist clenched at his side. Makoto put his arms up around the back of the seat. He looked at Daichi with quiet expectation, as if waiting for that moment of diet soda explosion once mentos were dropped in.

“It’s fine. I’ll just send you more.” Daichi said, forcing a cheerful tone.

“No, I don’t want you to spend money on me.” She said.

“Kimiko-”

“I don’t want to talk about this again.” She said, polite but firm.

He sighed. “Tell me what can I do to get you away from him. He isn’t good for you”

“Makoto and I are just friends.”

“He kissed you.”

The playful innocence in her eyes shifted to something serious, although Makoto couldn’t place the emotion. “I know my life is somewhat public now, but I still don’t appreciate you watching it.”

“But-”

“If you’re worried about Makoto spending time with me, then you shouldn’t. This is just a season of my life and I want to enjoy that season before it’s gone for good and I won’t let you take it from me.”

The entire restaurant seemed to still even though it hadn’t. The clacking of dishes and chatter of people dulled as the meaning behind her words hit the three of them differently.

“Very well.” Daichi said, and she knew him well enough to know that he had actually accepted her words this time. “Then, once this season is over, we’ll see what happens.”

“Mmhm.” Kimiko nodded, her hands clasped underneath the table. Tense fingers clasping each other as if it were their last goodbye.

Daichi moved over to Kimiko and gave her a posessive kiss on the side of her head. She turned her head to the side, partly from shyness but mostly from unease.

He then put a stiff hand on Makoto's shoulder, as if he were trying to reduce him to dust.

“What are you made of lead or something?!” Makoto complained dramatically, which made Kimiko smile a little.

“Oh, Makoto.” Daichi chuckled. “Thanks for being… well, you.” His words dripped with venom cloaked in sugar. His expensive suit had so much starch that it hadn't moved as he left in his shiny shoes.

Makoto rolled back his shoulders in one fluid motion, his jaw clenched and eyes sharp. Yet still only a subtle change in expression.

It was a fact he’d known himself, so it shouldn't have bothered him. The way Makoto was, his very nature, would be the reason why he’d lose Kimiko. But to hear it from a shark like that, with Kimiko sitting in front of him like the precious mermaid she was… 

He wanted to fight that statement.

It wasn’t true. That’s not who he is.

That’s not who he wants to be.