Chapter 17: Heaven

After realizing the time, I hop up to go to find Akechi, wiping my mouth of the tea crumpets tickling my lips; Phoenix would have liked those. 

I've been speaking with Seema for nearly 4 hours and it's dark outside now. 

The three of us had discussed beforehand that if we were to get separated, Akechi would hold onto the TB bomb and use it when necessary as an emergency escape plan as he’s the only able-bodied member of our group. 

It seems I’m a bit too late because as I head towards the direction where the knights shoved Akechi and Mika, there are soldiers running the other way. 

I didn’t think that that sensitive prince would actually use it. 

I slip on my hazmat mask each of us was hiding under our priest robes and trudge through the yellow gas in front of me. Obviously, it’s not because of TB because I’m immune, I’d just rather not be hacking up my lungs in this thick fog. Stumbling over the infected, I gradually make my way to the end of the hallway. 

Akechi. 

He’s locked himself in the castle drinkery. And he’s downing every spirit, liquor, and wine in sight. 

I don’t think this is the time for a celebration, Your Highness. 

I knock on the door and then wait for him to see me. He’s in tears when we make eye contact. 

I don’t see Mika with him. He’s in such a hurry to get the door, that he almost forgets his mask; I have to point to mine to remind him. He lets me in before tackling me.

“J! You’re alive! I thought… I thought…!” he stutters amidst sobs unable to control his tears. 

I remove my mask once the diseased fog has dispersed out of the open window on the room’s back wall.

“Of course, I’m alive. So you thought the Northern Queen killed me and you used the TB bomb as what? A way to avenge me? And where’s Mika?” I turn my head to scan the room again to see if I missed the High Priest.

Akechi nods, wiping his snotty nose before continuing.

“He went to kill the Northern Queen,” Akechi motions to the window. 

I laugh. That High Priest went to try to kill Seema for little ole me? I’m touched.

“Well, let’s have a nightcap before I go after him,” I suggest, shrugging Akechi’s slobbering form off of me, “can I make you my special brew?”

“By all means, I’m just glad you’re alive,” he smiles. 

I start mixing. I find that Akechi, like most men, becomes inviting when intoxicated. It’s as if the alcohol on his breath entices people to use him. He’s quick to be fooled into thinking someone loves him and throws away all his money for them. I’ve watched it one too many times when we were younger. 

I pity him. 

At least the people who play him get something out of it.

“I wanted to say…” he begins but pauses as if unsure if he wants to resume.

“Yeah?” I hand him my concoction, bringing mine to my lips.

He drinks and commits to his next declaration.

“I’m in love with you. I regretted not telling you earlier when I thought you died, so I’m-”

“I know and I don’t feel the same.” I immediately cut in. 

I should nip this in the bud now.

He looks up at me with the eyes of a puppy and drops them down again to his chalice.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“It’s fine, it’s not like I have no chance to end up with you,” he says.

“No, that’s not what I’m sorry for.”

I pull the goblet away from my lips. I can almost hear his heart breaking when he draws one hand up to his throat.

“J… why?” he chokes and collapses, “I…I would have… made…”

“Me your queen? Yeah, I know. You don’t take no for an answer and would’ve condemned me to a fate I view worse than death, Akechi. I know you wouldn’t have been a good king because you can’t even be a good friend. Because that’s what we were, friends, that’s the most we could ever be. But that wasn’t enough for you, and you didn’t care what I wanted because you only saw me as something to be loved. Not as someone who can love. In the South, I had no choice, I had to treat you the way you wanted to be treated because of your position. But now? Now I can follow my own path. Think of this as your last gift to me,” I take one last look at his suffocating form before I jump out of the window and onto the pavement.

Damn, now I kinda feel like I wasted my energy teaching him the bow. Burying him will be difficult by myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have ground up that much of Phoenix’s gem in his drink, then he would’ve at least been able to slither to his grave.

I run my fingertips along the bricked wall of the castle until I’m directly beneath Seema’s window. 

The light’s on so that’s not a good sign. 

I hike up to the royal chambers, using piping and chipped bricks as footholds, to find Seema holding Mika at the point of her blade. The shaft of his mace is also broken in two next to the bed. 

Nice. 

I would’ve liked to see that battle, a stand-off between Sentient Topaz and the High Priest of the Topaz worshippers. 

Isn’t it odd? 

Shamans detesting the very thing they worship because of the form it’s in. It’s not like she’s a false god to them or anything. Maybe it's their self-hatred of humanity projected. Seema must have defeated him with an unprecedented speed if she could get him on his knees in the matter of minutes since I’ve left. I’m impressed. Bet he wishes he brought his minions now.

“JJ! J, you-” he starts.

“You know, I finally deduced your enhancements at that barn in the Southern countryside. You gave a sob story right afterward but all I thought about at that time was killing you. It’s your left leg and your right arm, right? I figured as much when you slapped the shit out of me and roundhoused that robber. That’s why you’re the High Priest. Not because of the shit you were spieling like devoting your life to the Topaz or researching for the greater good. I bet you were one of those sickly patients who got experimented on and it just so happened that you’re in the one percent of humans who didn’t get TB when they stuck a second gem in you. Your ‘followers’ probably think you're oh-so blessed by Topaz when you’re really just a sad old man, governed by your lessers. ‘I had the privilege to give back what was given to me’, huh? What, do you wanna give everyone TB and nurture the ones who survive? You disgust me.”

He can’t say anything because he knows I’m right.

“E-even so, I would never have betrayed you. You’re just upset about your bird,” he tries to appeal to me.

“Don’t you dare use Phoenix as an excuse. And you already have betrayed me. You’re pretending to be a martyr, aren’t you? Die like one.” I give a nod to Seema to end him.

She does.

“I thought you cared for those two. Is understanding empathy impossible for me?” she asks, tilting her head in confusion.

“One thing you should know about people, Seema: empathy is a form of selfishness. People feel for others because that’s what they want to do. People tend not to empathize with those they are not either attracted to or can relate to on some level. This way they can self-project. But none of that matters now,” I grin, kicking away the High Priest’s body to prevent his blood from further seeping into the floorboards, “we’ve got a world to dominate.”

“You haven’t made the wrong decision, Your Majesty,” she hands me her crown, “with me as your advisor, there’s nothing we won’t be prepared for.”

“‘Your Majesty’ huh? I like the sound of that. And speaking of advisors, I’m sorry I killed yours. They killed my crow,” I apologize sincerely.

“I’m sorry that your crow is dead,” she mimics, “that person was useful to me, willing to throw away everything for me, but I’m not too broken up about their death if that’s what you’re apologizing for. I suppose my lack of empathy as you call it can be blamed for that as well. Worry not, though, we are two peas in a pod, I will never betray you because there could never be two people with greater compatibility,” Seema turns her lips up in what I’m frightened to ask is a smile.

“Yes. The mind and the soul. The North and the South. Anything else we’re missing we can find on the way through our united strength. We can go ahead with getting rid of the Southern mine, too. It has no use to me. Oh!” I snap my fingers remembering that Boss messaged me, “I need to text Boss back.”

“Boss?”

“She’s my mother. But I call her Boss,” I quickly explain, fumbling with my communicator.

The Northern Queendom? Really?

-Bosslady

“She produced your faulty body?” Seema questions.

I laugh at her wording. You’d be surprised, I text back.

“Yeah, but she also implanted the Topaz so that I would survive,” I elaborate.

“This brain used to be sick, I placed Topaz in it to survive too. I like Boss,” she says, fabricating a map of the continent from seemingly out of nowhere and placing it in my lap as I’m examining Mika’s body.

“Me too, we’re gonna repay her for that. Who needs to be the Royal Crafter when your daughter’s an empress? Plus, I’ll give her all these gems I nabbed so she can give me some new enhancements that I’ve been thinking of. You were smart for recalling all the Northerners back into the Queendom. Now we can divvy up our forces for different purposes. I’d like to see who would dare oppose us," I smirk and pop some pain pills, appraising Mika’s blood-smeared pelvic gem with my free hand.

I’m nowhere near a good person. I’m a killer, a liar, a cheat, a coward, and an envious hypocrite. I can’t even claim to be a vigilante because my actions served no one other than myself. And the worst part of it all is that I don’t even regret it. Given the opportunity, I would do it all again. I’d kill Akechi, Mika, and Hehu again if it got me to this point. Because losing myself is an exponentially worse fate than losing them. I lied to myself, reasoning that if I were overpowered, if I had surrounded myself with a harem that loved me but one that I didn’t love, if I had access to every luxury this world has to offer, then and only then would I be absolute. I can show other this in my new world order as the reigning sovereign.

The heavens cloud signaling the blizzard’s cusp from the window, but my mind is clear.

I run my fingers along the places where Seema marked with ink on the map, letting my nails get tainted by the edges of my empire.