Who Tends the Fire

Less than a month remained before summer vacation officially started, and the Shodou Performance Koshien in Shikokuchuuou would begin the very next day, July 29th, starting at 10:00am in the rather modest Shikochu Hall. Or, at least, Jacob thought it appeared modest only on the outside.

Emi had taken on the responsibility of scoping the place out via the internet, and the stage on which they would perform was surprisingly large and stately, with polished hardwood floors and big, open chambers flanking both sides of the auditorium.

"Damn, I'd hate to be the guy who has to wipe all of that down..." Jacob said, staring slack-jawed at the images Emi had pulled up. "Look at this place! Closest theater back home was the Angelo, and it wasn't nearly this nice."

"I just hope my inscription won't be too simplistic on such a large banner," Haruka fretted, also taken aback by the grand scale of the Hall. Not only had Haruka stepped forward to take place in the Shodou Performance Koshien because she didn't want to be left behind, but she had already decided on a phrase: 'Makeru ga kachi,' or, as she chose to interpret it, 'This loss will become by victory.' A fitting statement to go alongside the classic Motorhead track they'd be performing to. Several of the others suspected that there might also be a personal connection there, as well, but chose not to pry.

"Well, this is it, ladies and gentlemen," Chinatsu announced with some trepidation, "The time has come, at last, to start putting our performance together." She rolled her shoulders and flapped her arms about, likely to loosen them up. "This is where the real challenge begins!"

It was Yuuko's time to shine, so she stepped forward. "This has been a real ordeal for me, I hope you all realize!" she said, sounding both proud and exasperated at the same time. "I'm really not into any of that metal stuff, so know that I've definitely suffered for my art here!" She produced from her schoolbag a small stack of choreography notes, and began to rattle off instructions.

Jacob, who had been sandwiched between her and Emi, was astonished by the extreme level of detail present in these notes. "Holy shit! That looks pretty complex, Cream-Puff," he blurted out, but Yuuko nodded with a smug grin and puffed her considerable chest out, satisfied by the validation.

Chinatsu grabbed a desk and dragged it to the center of the room, prompting Yuuko to set her notes down and display them for all to see. Her blond curls bounced up and down as she began jabbing her finger at several sections, stating, "I've broken our performance down, based on the different segments of the song." She reached into her bag once again, this time producing a small stack of CDs in jewel cases. "When you get home, make sure you get extremely familiar with the song." Jacob and Chinatsu both went to say something, but Yuuko cut them off. "Yes, even you, Chi-chan and Yangu-san. You think you know this song inside and out, but you probably don't. Yangu-san!"

"Wh-What?!" Jacob was completely surprised by the outburst.

"How many phrases into the song do the vocals begin?!" Yuuko demanded.

"...I...um...what?" was all he could muster.

"Two!" she answered for him. "The song's divided into phrases, each lasting 4 measures! Two of them go by before the vocals come in!" Yuuko then launched into a diatribe on basic music theory, having absorbed the concepts but not necessarily the right terminology, dissecting 'Ace of Spades' down to the very-most minute of details. "And these are the things I'm keeping track of in my choreography!" she exclaimed, having completed her spiel on the various divisions of the song. She really wasn't kidding--even Jacob would probably grow tired of this amazing song if he had to deconstruct it so thoroughly. He couldn't imagine doing that for some other song he didn't like.

"You, uh, you really put a lot of effort into this..." Chinatsu marvelled, a twinge of guilt audible in her voice as she pored over the notes.

Yuuko raised her hands bracingly to the group at large. "I promise you, it's not as hard as it looks! Once you get a feel for what 4 measures feels like, it'll come naturally!"

Shinji-kun seemed troubled by something. "But, Yuuko-senpai...I've been scanning these notes, but I haven't seen any directions left for yourself..."

Yuuko waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, don't worry about it, Shinji-kun. No one really pays any attention to what the inkwell holder's doing, so it's not that important."

Everyone seemed to take this to mean that she's prepared a simple routine for herself, but, having been a teenager once himself, Jacob detected a hint of something else in there. It was the unmistakable sonic odor of self-deprecation. He had a bad feeling that whatever problem or insecurity Yuuko was wrestling with was gonna cause problems further down the line.

***

By the start of the second week in July, significant progress had been made in getting their performance up to scratch. As was common in these kinds of Shodou performances (at least, according to Chinatsu), a lot of the movement revolved around one or two writers stepping forward before shuffling back for others to step forward, all in time with the music. The challenge here, though, was performing the steps and making their practiced calligraphy legible within the extremely tight time constraints laid out by Motorhead's swift tempo.

"But I'm worried about Cream-Puff," Jacob confided to Chinatsu during one of their early morning jogs, "Haven't had time to dwell on it lately, since I gotta get these steps down, but she's been giving me some angsty vibes lately."

"You think so, too?" Chinatsu said, slightly out of breath on this suffocatingly-humid and cloudy morning, "I've known her for a few years, and I've noticed--" She apologized to a pedestrian she bumped with her shoulder. "But, I've noticed she gets depressed pretty easily sometimes, and I wonder if, this time, it's because she feels like she's not contributing much to the club."

"Oh, geez. Self-esteem issues," Jacob grumbled, "Maybe that's why she made such an intricate plan for the competition--she was giving herself a boost. But now that the moves for the rest of us are finished..."

"Yeah, she's probably sliding into a slump," she said flatly between breaths, "I've tried to tell her...hah...that she's doin' a good job and that...huff...she's an important member of the team, but...hah...but I think she expects that kind of talk from me." As the pair reached the Tama River, it was wordlessly decided that they'd stop for a moment to rest. Chinatsu was breathing more heavily, though she was also giving Jacob a slyly-expectant look.

"You think she'll take a pep talk more seriously if it's comin' from me than from you?" he asked, pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"Well," Chinatsu exhaled, "You're an adult, so you've probably got some sage advice in your pocket for her." She took a deep breath. "And on top of that, I doubt she'll think you're just kissing her ass."

Jacob was stretching his legs out, preparing for the return trip. "I mean, just being an adult doesn't really mean you automatically know what to do or say, Peanuts. There're plenty of adults wanderin' around who couldn't tell their ass from a hole in the ground." He cleared his throat. "...But yeah, I think I've got some advice that'd help Cream-Puff out of her funk."

"Hah! Knew it," Chinatsu gasped triumphantly, close to getting her breathing back under control as she stood up straight. "And, um, sorry for slowing us down today. It kills me when it's muggy like this."

"Eh, don't sweat it. You're probably already sweatin' enough, as it is. I'll tell ya what, though, I don't miss much about my hometown, but I'd kill for some of that dry heat to replace this humid shit, any day of the week."

On the return trip, the pair stopped in their tracks as they noticed Emi, exiting the cake shop with some early-morning sweets. "What the--Emi?!" Chinatsu blurted out.

"Chinatsu-san? Young-san?" She seemed equally surprised to see them.

"Heh. Small world, eh?" Jacob quipped before asking, "You live around here or somethin'?"

"Oh, yes," Emi nodded, pointing across the street, "Just over there, past the Keikyuu line." She clutched her purchase close to her chest. "Dad'll be tied up in meetings all day today, so he asked me to grab some anpan for him." Emi smiled at this. "Dad's a manly man--a lot like you, Young-san, actually--but he really loves sweet snacks."

Jacob half-shrugged. "Hey, what's wrong with that? I like sweet stuff, too."

"Really?!" Emi seemed intrigued, and her brain was clearly making sweeping changes to her file on masculinity based on this shocking(?) new data.

"Hey, Emi, if you live close by, maybe you can join us on our morning jogs sometime!" Chinatsu offered.

"Hm, maybe. I'm not much of an athletic type," Emi admitted before straightening up, "Anyway, I'd better get these back to Dad. I'll see you this afternoon!" And with that, Emi was off to the nearest crosswalk, delivering true on her statement of not being athletic as she ran with an ungainly gait.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess P.E.'s not her favorite class..." Jacob commented as they watched her leave. A moment later, they resumed their jog, but it wasn't long before they reached Chinatsu's street.

"Welp, guess I'll see ya this afternoon, too, Jake-kun," she said as she split off, before turning back to shout, "I'll see if I can arrange a one-on-one for your pep talk with Yuu-chan! I'm countin' on ya!"

Jacob sighed as he advanced up the sidewalk, not especially looking forward to having a private chat with ol' Cream-Puff. He's learned by now that she's not nearly the 'raging bitch' he might have described her as at the beginning of the school year, but the two were still not exactly on the friendliest of terms. Not even the smash success of the beach trip moved that needle much in the 'friendly' direction.

"Ah, hell..." he growled, "Maybe I should just coach Peanuts on what to say, instead..."

***

As if there weren't enough things to worry about already, finals were slated to begin the following week, starting on the 17th, so that meant another burst of studying would be required. By the time Lunch rolled around, Jacob was already exhausted. Japanese Lit will just forever be a thorn in his side, he supposed, but at least Chinatsu was right--the second half of 'Kokoro' really was a good read. Of course, finding an English copy of the book at the Hamazake Library was both extraordinary luck and a big help, all at once. He'll still suck at reading Kanji, but at least the comprehension sections were about to get much easier!

This train of thought was thoroughly derailed, however, when Yuuko appeared at the door of 1-4, tapping her fingers impatiently as she gripped the doorframe, prompting a wave of curious whispers when she called out, "Hey, Yangu-san? Chi-chan said you had something to tell me."

Of course. He had fooled himself into thinking Chinatsu would handle her task with some subtlety, but that was a fool's hope, it seemed.

"Er, yeah," Jacob replied, getting up out of his seat and striding towards the door, grinding his teeth as his excitable classmates on the other side of the room began speculating at light-speed. "We'll talk in the clubroom. Don't want there to be a peanut gallery listening in."

Yuuko narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but said nothing, and so they ascended the stairs, turned the corner, and breached the entrance of the empty Room 2-7, when Yuuko pulled the door shut and turned to face Jacob, arms wrapped around her torso, an unsettling, solemn expression on her face.

"This is about my choreography, isn't it?" she asked, eyes downcast.

"Well, kinda," was Jacob's response as he pulled a chair down from the stack, shoving it in Yuuko's direction, before grabbing another for himself. He checked the clock--about 35 minutes left before next period--before he sat down. "It looks like a solid plan, but, you see, Peanuts an' I are curious as to why your steps aren't written down."

Yuuko gave a half-shrug, casting her eyes about at anything in the room that wasn't Jacob. "I already told you guys, no one's gonna be paying any attention to me. My steps aren't gonna make any difference--as long as you get your ink and get your strokes right, that's all that matters, isn't it?" She sighed, and for the first time, she looked up at Jacob. "I don't know why Chi-chan chose me to hold the inkwell. Feels like being picked last in volleyball, y'know? Being a pair of legs for the inkwell to walk around on."

Yup. It was just like Chinatsu said: She was definitely feeling like she wasn't contributing much to the group. This particular situation might be easy to fix, but...

"Pfffft," Jacob pfffft'd, "You're doin' that thing teenagers like to do, Cream-Puff: Thinkin' that anything less than carrying the entire show on your back means you're not addin' anything of value. But that's a mindset you've just gotta throw right in the trash."

Yuuko seemed to regain a bit of her defiant manner at being generalized as just another teenager, but she wasn't able to cook up a rebuttal, so she left herself wide open for him to continue his offensive.

"Look, kid, you really went all-out on coordinating our performance. Even if that's all you did, you'd still be contributing more than me or Haruka. An' at least Haruka's got an excuse--she's a whole month behind us, prep-wise. She don't have a choice but to spend all her club time preparing her steps!" Jacob gestured animatedly as he spoke, and he hoped he was getting through that thick layer of hairspray protecting her brain. "You mapped out all our steps, down to the second, and you're also taking on an active, important support role on top of that? In what universe would you think handling all that makes you 'useless'?"

Now Yuuko had something to pounce on, standing up from her chair looking somewhat indignant. "Wait, hang on, I never said anything about being useless!"

Jacob stood up, too, towering over her, staring straight into her eyes. "I was a teenager once, too, Mizuhara Yuuko," he growled, taking her aback by this use of her full name. "A teenager with self-esteem issues. I know the language, and I know the defense mechanisms, because I was a master at both. You can tell us not to worry about your steps all you like, but all I can hear coming out of your mouth is 'I'm useless! I'm useless!' And if I were some pencil-neck with an overpriced degree and a shitload of time, we could probably get to the bottom of where that crap came from. But I'm not."

He placed his right hand on her shoulder, and pointed his left index finger at the bridge of her nose, causing Yuuko to flinch slightly. "So all I can tell you for now is, when that little voice in your brain starts feeding you lines like that, tell it to pound sand. It's never gonna go away, so you'd better get used to shutting it down, real quick."

Yuuko seemed to really be taking these words seriously, and as Jacob pulled his hands away to cross them, she spoke up, "But...the inkwell's still kind of a useless position, right? I mean, is it really worth drafting up a routine for?"

Jacob sat back down in his chair. "I mean, unless you'd prefer we all smack our heads together jockeying for the inkwell in the corner all at once, then being..." Jacob provided some air quotes. "'A pair of legs for the inkwell to walk around on'..." He crossed his arms again. "...is hardly useless, is it? Yeah, sure, no one's gonna pay that much attention to you if you're doin' it right, but if you're half-assin' it..."

Yuuko cringed as she, too, sat back down. "Okay, yeah, that's a good point."

"You're gonna be up there with the rest of us, so you're in just as deep as the rest of us, kid. Except instead of paintin' a phrase, you're gonna be tryin' not to clock any of us in the face with a giant pot." He looked up at the clock again. About 8 minutes remained of the period.

"An' with that being said, Cream-Puff," he said as he stood once more, "We'd better head on back to our classrooms. I need to remember what the hell a 'subjunctive' is before I can breeze right through the lecture."

"Yeah, I guess," Yuuko replied with a hint of her old fire, standing up as well. As Jacob slid the door open, she called out, "Oh, and Yangu-san?" He turned his head to hear her out. "I'll, um...I'll keep what you said in mind. About telling that small voice to 'pound sand,' y'know? If I do my job right, and nobody pushes me away or gets mad at me because of it, that's all that matters, right?"

"Now you're gettin' it!" he said before disappearing down the hall, leaving Yuuko to spend the last few minutes of Lunch period to process her feelings.

***

Yuuko had, indeed, been keeping Jacob's advice in mind, it seemed, as starting the following day, she had worked with Chinatsu to arrange procuring some large banner paper for them to practice their routine as a group, as well as some broom handles, to serve as practice 'brushes'. Additionally, she must have been burning the midnight oil or something, because she had already cooked up some intricate pathing for herself during the performance, and most of their time in the club the next few days was spent practicing their movements with Yuuko darting in and out among them.

"You gotta lower your leg a little bit more, Yangu-san!" she demanded, "It's gonna be tough to step over it while wearing a hakama!"

"Can't, Cream-Puff. Any lower, and I'll be kneelin' on the banner."

"Hmm..." Yuuko pulled out her notes and scrutinized this part of the routine, "Damn, I guess it can't be helped. I'll just have to work on my leg-lifts for the competition." She grabbed her pencil from her work station and scribbled a note to do so.

"Excuse me, Yuuko-san?" Haruka piped up, "I'm having trouble keeping my broom, er, brush from dragging as I step back..."

"Coming, Haru-chan~" Yuuko trilled, bounding over to her.

Chinatsu tapped Jacob on the shoulder, prompting him to look at her. "Okay, seriously, Jake-kun, you gotta teach me how you do this stuff, because it's starting to get spooky how good you are at it."

He shrugged. "It's just about using what you know to your advantage. In Cream-Puff's case, as strange as it is to say, I saw a bit of myself in her. So, to give her a swift kick in the ass, I just needed to think about how I'd give myself a swift kick in the ass. That's basically it. Figuring people out isn't something anyone can teach you--you just pick up on it as you get older and get some experience."

"I just hope we'll be ready for the performance," Chinatsu sighed, "Startin' to get goosebumps when I think about it."

"Ah, don't worry about it. Cream-Puff's on the case, so as long as we stick to the plan, the only thing keeping us from winnin' the thing is if the judges end up being a bunch of tasteless goons who can't appreciate some good old-fashioned speed metal."

By week's end, the tentative performance jitters shifted radically into all-out finals panic, as many students (Jacob included) had falsely believed they had more time to prepare. Which makes no sense, since the date was set long ago, but that's just how it goes when you're a student. Even a 34-year-old student.

And so it was on Sunday evening, while sitting at his kitchen table, glancing over his Geometry study materials to make sure he had it as down-pat as he believed he did, Jacob realized his birthday had been earlier that month, on the 7th, and he had completely forgotten about it. Whoops! He looked up at Eddie to see that the time was 7:21pm, so he still had about 40 minutes to make it to the cake shop down the road and grab himself a little belated birthday snack. He deserved it, dammit!

The sky was a bright orange as Jacob exited the Skygarden apartment complex, the sun still hovering slightly above the horizon, bathing the town in its rich golden aura. Down the road he went, doing a bit of a power-walk in the hopes that he'd arrive with enough time to spare for browsing. Though he's lived in this neighborhood for close to 5 years now, Jacob had set foot inside this place maybe once, and he couldn't, at the moment, remember what it was called. As he arrived on the threshold several minutes later, it turns out the cake shop was called '18LAYERCAKE,' in all-eye-searing-caps. Huh. How had that blistering storefront image not burned itself irrevocably into his brain yet?

Stepping into the quaint, pastel-colored nightmare world that was the interior of 18LAYERCAKE, Jacob had to squint in order to prevent from being blinded by the bright fluorescent lights and the eye-popping yellow and pink decor. There were only about 3 others inside, one of whom being the cashier, so Jacob began to peruse. Deciding on a nice little personal cake tucked among the shelves, he snatched it up and approached the counter when his eyes snapped toward a familiar face.

"Oh, hey, Emi...-san," he stumbled as he added the honorific, aware that omitting it would look odd in public.

Emi had been staring intensely at two different boxes of cookies, when Jacob's voice snapped her out of her reverie. "Young-san? Er, good evening. What brings you in here, of all places?"

"Needed something sweet to keep me awake while studyin' for the finals. You?"

"Same, actually!" Emi giggled. It was a bit jarring to recall how nervous she had been around him at the start of the year.

Emi got rung up first, and Jacob right behind her. Once outside, She stepped towards the little alcove next to the store, indicating for him to do the same.

"So, how are your studies coming along?" Emi asked, curious.

"Mostly easier than I expected," was Jacob's response, holding the box containing his tiny cake under his arm like it was a steel beam. "Japanese Lit's a bitch and a half when you're a foreigner, and Chemistry's a nightmare when you get into all that mathin' out chemical reaction shit, but it's been pretty smooth sailin' other than that. How 'bout you? I bet the screws get tightened real good in the 3rd year, eh?"

Emi smiled a weary smile, drumming her fingers on her box of cookies. "Yeah, it certainly does get harder as you go, but I'm doing fairly well."

"Heh! 'Fairly well,' my foot!" Jacob smirked, "4th overall when being pitted against legit MIT-level geniuses? Think you oughta change your assessment to say you're doin' damn good!"

"It's just...I've got entrance exams coming up this year, and I want to make sure I get into a good university," Emi stated with some nervousness. "Like you said, I probably don't have anything to worry about, but it's probably for the best that I don't let my guard down, you know?"

"That's a smart way to go about it, kid," Jacob said with a satisfied nod. "You don't wanna half-ass your future like I did. Sure, I'm gettin' along fine now, but things woulda been a lot easier if I'da done it all right the first time."

"Well, we're glad to have you with us, Young-san," Emi said warmly, "I've heard that you helped Yuuko-san and Haruka-san out with some of their problems they've been struggling with, and I'm sure they would say that they're glad to have you around, as well."

Jacob rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "Hm, yeah, sometimes it feels like I shoulda got a degree in psychology or something like that, what with all the therapy I've been givin' out for free. Speakin' of which, you wouldn't happen to have any kinda problems or trauma I should be helpin' ya out with, do ya?"

Emi giggled again, slightly red in the face, when she replied, "No, no, nothing that I know of, anyway!"

"Welp, anyways, I'd better letcha go, Emi. I got me an early mornin' tomorrow, so I'd better get more studyin' in." Jacob looked up at the sky, which was slowly transitioning from orange to purple. "Er, rather, should I walk ya home? Nice-lookin' girl like you shouldn't be walkin' out alone in the evening."

Emi shook her head, still smiling gently. "I'll be fine, Young-san, but thank you for the offer." She turned and pointed across the road. "My house is actually just a few houses down that way, less than 30 seconds past the Keikyuu line. If that tree wasn't there, you'd be able to see my house from here."

"Ah, okay. Well, I'll leave ya to it," Jacob said, "Good luck, kid. An' keep up the good work!"

"You, too, Young-san," came her reply, and under the twilight sky, the two parted ways in order to prepare themselves for the relentless salvo of standardized testing they would be enduring over the course of the following week.