Chapter 20:

Chapter 20: Repairs

What Lies Beneath the Surface


Moira slumped back in bed and sighed. This sucked. Jason had barely said two words to her all day. Even the note she’d left him didn’t seem to do the trick! He’d rushed off somewhere when recreation time began, and never returned.

She turned over and looked longingly at her bag. The book was still inside it. That book filled with stories that they’d shared together. It had been over a week since she’d last opened it. It was Jason’s turn to read, but he never gave her a chance to pass it off to him. Her notes remained unread, even though they had almost finished it, too…

Moira was tempted to read the rest herself, but without Jason, it just didn’t seem worth it. Passing notes back and forth with him, talking about the stories, that had been what made the book so much fun. But without him…

Without him it was just another book.

Maybe I was the only one who thought it was special… That thought brought tears to her eyes. Was she-? She was crying. It felt strange. Moira cried a lot when she was little, because she’d hurt herself a few times. Scrapes and bruises, a broken bone or two, nothing serious. But the pain she felt right now was worse than all of that. It felt like her heart was trying to pull itself out of her chest.

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and buried her face in her pillow. She wanted to think about something else, anything to keep her mind off of Jason. Bunker ball. Her model cars. Engines. But her brain wasn’t listening. Her attention drifted to others like it always did, and in this case, that other thing was Jason.

Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him?! It had reached the point where he even invaded her dreams. She remembered the twinkle in his eye when he smiled, and the way her heart got all fluttery when she heard him laugh. She glanced at the picture he drew of her, and sighed.

How do I fix this?

That was the question that brought her out of her room. People thought that Moira wasn’t very smart, but that wasn’t true at all! She was just a simple person! If an engine is broken, you take it apart to see what’s wrong, and then you fix it! And when you didn’t know how to do something, you ask someone who does!

So Moira did what she always did when she didn’t know the answer, and went to go talk to her parents.

Moira’s mom and dad were may have gotten old before their time due to their daughter’s antics, but like any parents in the Bunker they loved their daughter and wanted to help her. So when she explained her problem to them (leaving out a couple times when she broke a rule or two) she knew they would listen and help her out!

“So let me get this straight, you got into a fight with your friend Jason?” Moira’s mom asked, pursing her lips into a concerned expression. Moira shook her head.

“No, mom, we didn’t have a fight! He’s just… avoiding me for some reason.”

Her dad sighed. “Moira, you have a lot of friends, don’t you? Why not play with them?” He gave her an encouraging smile.

“That’s right sweetheart,” her mom agreed. “You’re a bright and friendly girl, I’m sure there are lots of people in the Bunker who want to spend time with you and Andrew!”

“Yeah, I guess…” Moira mumbled. But those people weren’t Jason.

Her parents shared a wary glance, they could tell their suggestions weren’t improving their daughter’s mood.

“…Well, let’s take a look at this from another angle. Get to the root of the issue,” her father suggested. He was an engineer himself, so he had a very similar thought process. “Think back, when did things start to get awkward between you and him?”

Moira scrunched up her face thoughtfully. “I guess… it was a little after our Intimacy Preparation Class, the one where we practiced holding hands.”

“Oh, didn’t you say you had a bit of trouble with that class?” Her mom remembered. “What was it again? You and Andrew…”

Then Moira remembered what was so important about that class! “That’s it!” She blurted out. “After class! After class, me and Jason, we-!”

She turned redder than her hair as the warmth of Jason’s hand came back to her. “I-I mean…”

“What is it Moira?” Her dad asked. They both looked at her with eyes filled with acceptance. She didn’t even hesitate to reveal the truth.

“Jason and I, we kinda… held hands,” she admitted, the memory bringing a shy smile to her lips.

Her parents were less pleased.

“…I see,” her dad said darkly, shaking his head. “So that’s what happened… I should have known.”

“What? It-It wasn’t like we broke the rules or anything! The doctor said it was okay, since we were just practicing!” She quickly clarified. The last thing she wanted was to get Jason in trouble.

“I’m sure she did, sweetheart, but that’s not the point,” her mom sighed. “I’m sure you know why it’s against the rules to hold hands with someone who isn’t your Partner.”

Her dad nodded. “Because it’s unpleasant. Physical contact with someone other than your Partner is incredibly unpleasant. …Unless they’re a doctor, or us, of course,” he hastily added.

Moira blinked. “But… it didn’t feel bad. It felt kinda nice actually.”

Her words seemed to confuse them.

“You… liked holding hands with someone other than your Partner?” Her mom asked.

The way they were looking at her made Moira start to worry. “I-I mean, yeah? I know it’s supposed to feel bad, but it didn’t! Is-Is something wrong with me?”

The room was spinning and she was finding it hard to breathe. As the memories of that day flooded back to her, she began to wonder if she’d made a terrible mistake.

“Is that why he stopped talking to me!? Because… Because when I held his hand, he felt uncomfortable and bad?! I didn’t know, I swear! I-I thought… I just…”

How could she be so stupid!? Because she’d messed up with Andrew, Jason had been forced to step in, and had to hold her hand! Back then it looked like he’d enjoyed it, but was that really the case? Or did she just imagine that because she had liked the feeling? What if he’d just been forcing himself? And she hadn’t even noticed!

Moira wanted to throw up. No wonder he didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

Luckily her parents were there for her. Her mom was quick to get her some warm milk with honey to help calm her down, while her dad waited patiently at her side to help her breathe.

“Moira, there’s nothing wrong with you.” He didn’t sound so sure of that, though. She winced.

“R-Really?”

“I’m sure if Jason is really your friend, he won’t be too upset that he had to hold your hand. He might be feeling a little uncomfortable right now, but I’m sure, with enough time, he won’t hold it against you.”

She wished she could be that confident. But she still felt a little queasy.

“It’s that doctor’s doing!” Her mom huffed, walking back in. “Forcing kids to hold the hand of someone else! You know what we should do? We should complain to Ai, that’s what! The nerve of her!”

“No, don’t! It was my fault anyway!” Moira didn’t want to drag Ai into this. If she did something, and Doctor Sylvia got in trouble, it might come out that she had borrowed the doctor’s book, and if that happened…

Thoughts of the Punishment Box sent a shiver down her spine. Nope. Definitely not.

“You know, it might not be your fault at all,” her dad murmured, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“Really? Why not?” Moira brightened at the news. Maybe it was all one big misunderstanding!

“Well, with Adult Education, and Intimacy Preparation Class, it could be that this friend of yours just has other priorities on his mind right now,” he suggested. “This started after your handholding lesson, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I remember back when I was about your age, when your mom and I passed our handholding lesson, we held hands all the time!” Her dad had a nostalgic look in his eye, while her mom’s cheeks turned red.

“Ew, dad. I don’t wanna hear that!”

“No, no, what I mean is, before that, I was a lot like you, you know? I had quite a lot of friends, and many of them were girls. But you see, after I started holding your mother’s hand, hanging out with friends just… didn’t seem interesting, you know? I’m sure you’ve enjoyed yourself holding Andrew’s hand, isn’t that right?”

“Honey!” Her mom gasped. “Don’t ask her stuff like that!”

They shared a laugh while Moira thought about her dad’s suggestion. To be honest though, she didn’t really get it. Holding Andrew’s hand was just, well… holding his hand. She didn’t get what the big deal was.

“So you’re saying that just because Jason doesn’t want to hang out with me, it doesn’t mean he’s upset with me?”

“Exactly,” he nodded. “He’s probably just gotten so busy spending time with that Partner of his, holding her hand and whatnot, that he just doesn’t have time for friends anymore.”

“You’re growing up, sweetheart,” her mom smiled. “The days of running around with your friends and playing Bunker Ball are going to be fewer and fewer, now that you’re an adult.”

But Moira had already stopped listening. She was still thinking about what her dad said, and how maybe Jason didn’t want to hang out with her because he was having so much fun holding hands with Skye.

It should have made her feel better, since that would mean it wasn’t her fault. But for some reason that thought made her feel even worse.